Giving up
by Gnomestick
Summary: Rey was giving up. The Resistance was mostly destroyed, The last Jedi was gone, Ben's soul was lost without hope. She was alone once again. This is a story about giving up and not being given up by people who still have the spark to fight, even if all hope is lost. Slowburn Reylo/Love/Smut/Angst/Friendship/Political
1. Chapter 1: The Forest

**English is not my mother language, so I apologize for possible grammatical errors or misuse of words. But I'll do my best!  
Also, take a look at my other story "Ashen Minds" or at my art on Instagram. My account is called "between_dark_and_light"**

 **We dive right into the story after the remaining rebels boarded the Millenium Falcon on Crait and escaped the attack of the First Order.**

* * *

Rey still sat on the bench inside the Millenium Falcon as she held the broken lightsaber pieces in her hands, fresh memories of everything that has taken place just hours ago still on her mind. She felt so much sorrow thinking about how she was on the verge to bring Ben Solo back to the light - which ultimately failed, how she should have been there instead to help the Resistance evacuate their transport ships.

Her glance wandered up to Finn on the other side of the room, who just pulled a blanket over an unconscious dark haired girl she didn't know yet. It was obvious he cared about her deeply, judging by his gentleness and his puckered brows as he looked at her bleeding temple with worry in his eyes, while he caressed her cheek.  
Rey missed out so much that had taken place during the evacuation of the rebel base from D-Qar while she was gone to Ahch-To to train with Luke. She didn't even know what her best friend Finn did all this time and what he and everyone else had to go through.

When she came back everything lied in ruins, the Resistance was no more and she barely managed to save the remaining survivors of the battle on Crait. Their numbers had been downsized from several hundred people with a huge base and a small armada of ships, down to a bunch of rebels who comfortably fit into the Millenium Falcon without anything left except for their lives.  
Luke Skywalker was dead, she had felt the shift in the force. So there was no one left, who could train her to become a Jedi.  
Nobody answered Leia's call for support and so their only possible action right now was to go into hiding and start from scratch.

"We are the spark, that will light the fire that will burn the First Order down."  
Was something Poe has said before. In Rey's opinion, the spark was nearly gone and she felt devastated by their dire situation, seeing no way to ever rebuild what they had lost on this very day.

As Rey turned the two lightsaber pieces in her hands with slightly trembling fingers, she thought back to the fight against Snoke's guards with Ben...Kylo...Ben...Kylo Ren in the throne room. Kylo Ren was right. The boy Ben, she tried so desperately to bring back to the light was indeed - gone. Kylo Ren had killed him and had no wish to bring him back. "Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to." were his exact words, which was also something he did to himself, ruining any chance to become good again.  
She was just too stubborn and gullible to see it before.

Rey was so sure he will stand by her side after he saved her from Snoke.  
Stars, even the vision she saw when they touched hands showed her exactly that. Darkness meets light to bring balance in the force, to end the war, bring peace to the galaxy.  
But obviously, force visions can be just plain wrong.  
Kylo Ren ultimately fell back to the dark side, even tried to lure her into ruling together in a new order and then tried to kill everyone who was left of the Resistance, even herself and his mother. He was pure evil and now the leader of the biggest military force and on his way to taking over the galaxy.

She knew the day will come when she has to face him again.  
But next time they won't be fighting together, they will fight _against_ each other and just one of them will survive afterwards.  
Rey's chest tightened at this thought, as she called back the fresh memory of his unreadable face she saw through their bond when she stood at the door of the Falcon, evacuating the other rebels.  
Kylo Ren's lip was trembling and he was silently looking up to her from a kneeling position. She didn't know what he thought at this moment.  
If he planned on finding and killing her, or if he was angry that the remaining rebels got away, or if he was surprised their bond was still intact. She certainly was, thinking it would vanish after Snoke's death, as he was the one who created it in the first place.  
Obviously, it was still there. At least before she shut the door of the ship which also cut their connection at the same moment.

* * *

Several weeks later, the remaining Resistance members found a planet in the Outer Rim, where Leia had allies left, who'd, unfortunately,  
weren't able to support them with the battle on Crait as it would have taken them days to reach the planet.  
The very least their allies could do now was giving them shelter, spaceships to run some smaller missions and the technology to contact others. Which, they gladly did.

Leia went right into action - despite her still weakened state, and started working together with Poe on rebuilding the Resistance from its roots again, recruiting new people here and there and getting her hands on new spaceships.  
This woman was irrepressible and Rey was utterly impressed by her eagerness and her will to never give up hope.  
The girl, named Rose as she knew by now, of whom Finn took care with such gentleness, had woken up after several days of recovery.  
They were the sweetest couple together, even when Finn sometimes acted pretty clumsily around her and said all the wrong things,  
so she corrected or teased him with it.  
But they supported each other, laughed, shared and expanded their knowledge about First Order mechanics and kept each company in a such a purposeful and loving way. Rey couldn't be any happier for Finn.

So Finn was mostly occupied with Rose, Leia and Poe were occupied with organizing the Resistance's comeback and gaining the support of their leftover allies throughout the galaxy. Rey felt out of place, useless and had no one to look up to right now or talk about what was happening with her, so she was mostly left alone with herself, or together with Chewie to repair ships, mainly the Falcon of course.  
Not that she didn't know this feeling, she was alone for the majority of her like back on Jakku. So she was used to it.  
This time she just felt lost, after finding her purpose to become a Jedi, but no way to fulfil it.

She sensed the force growing stronger within her every day, but Luke was gone so she could not ask him about anything at all.  
She tried reading the sacred Jedi textbooks she secretly stole from the holy tree on Ahch-To but gave up after some hours as she couldn't read any of these foreign signs and words. No archive she had access to would hold information about the languages which were used there.  
She would never be able to become a Jedi like that.  
Rey had so many questions about the force and didn't know what else she was able to do,  
except for controlling the minds of others and make rocks float in the air. Her lightsaber was broken. What worth is a Jedi without a lightsaber?

As her thoughts spiralled down once again, she decided to go into the nearby forest to blow off some steam and take her mind somewhere else.  
She grabbed her trusty quarterstaff and marched off to woods not far from their ships.  
Rey had neglected her training since their battle on Crait, but decided today is the day she should finally start again,  
maybe also try using the force once again. Something has kept her from doing these things as if she had a blockade after all these events.  
After walking away several miles from their small hidden base, she found an opening between the trees, where she decided this would be a good spot to train her skills. A wide beam of sunlight shone through the treetops on to a small patch of grass and several scattered big boulders.

First, Rey started swinging her staff against the tree in front of her, aiming for exactly the same spot every time, while approaching from different sides as if she was in a fight. Then she also started kicking the tree and ducking away as if she was attacked.  
She kept repeating these sequences of movements until she started panting hard and her muscles started to hurt. Drops of sweat appeared on her face and her clothes clung to her body. After an hour or two she felt she was reaching the limit of her endurance, but she didn't stop there.  
Rey wanted to go on, as rage and stubbornness were building up inside her, thinking about everything that had happened to her and her friends in the last months, which made her feel that she needed to get stronger to protect them in the future.

She was now furiously punching, kicking and attacking the trees around her like there was no tomorrow while screaming in frustration and exhaustion, getting even angrier with every hit. There were scattered twigs and branches all around her, which had broken off due to her attacks and she was already covered in dirt and fir needles.

Suddenly she sensed a humming, a sound, a feeling she was all too familiar with, which she hadn't felt since Crait.  
Wide-eyed Rey turned around swiftly and saw him sitting right across her, on his bed in a room on some First Order ship, watching her.  
She could see parts of his surroundings, not much but the ground under his feet and the sheets around him. Which meant he'd be able to see her surroundings too, which just happened one time before when they touched hands in the hut on Ahch-To.  
Kylo Ren had dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept for days and his mouth was slightly opened,  
but apart from that, his face was expressionless towards her.

She stood still in a defensive position with the staff in her hands and watched him too, as she still breathed heavily from her training.  
Their eyes locked for what felt like hours as her rage on him grew stronger, because of him deciding against calling back the attack on the Resistance fleet and how he tried to kill everyone after they fought for Luke's saber in the throne room. All these bad memories flooded her brain and she felt an incredible rage forming in her stomach.

The grip on her staff grew more intense, while she gritted her teeth in anger. In one fast motion, she darted forward with an enraged scream and directly attacked him, swinging her weapon right at his sitting form.  
He didn't move an inch or tried to stop her, but she thought she could see him flinch the slightest bit when she lunged out.  
But maybe he didn't as he still sat exactly like before on his bed while the staff just glided through him like he was a hologram.

She kind of expected this to happen as he was obviously there through the bond and not really sitting in the forest with her.  
Which enraged her even more as the sole thing she wanted to do is to hurt this man, who hurt her and her friends so much,  
who tried to lure her into the darkness and kill all her friends and even his mother.  
So she swung one more time, aiming for his head. Another swing into his chest. At least she threw her staff defeated on the ground and a loud sob left her lips.

Rey gritted her teeth and growled as she felt angry tears forming in her eyes at his lack of reaction.  
He just kept staring her, without blinking an eye. After silently watching her outburst, he suddenly stood up and loomed above her, easily being two heads bigger than her. She gasped for air and took a step back because she didn't expect him to actually react to her after all her attacks.  
He took a step forward and reached to the side of his belt, gripping his lightsaber as if he was going to ignite it and attack her back finally.

But then he was gone. Just like that. Their connection has faded and Rey stood there, alone in the forest again.  
Breathing and sweating heavily from this intense moment, until she started trembling and fell to her knees, burying her head in her palms as she and started weeping into them.


	2. Chapter 2: Pipes

**Yup Rey was pissed. Which is understandable. Here you go with the next chapter:**

* * *

So obviously their connection was still there. Coming out of nowhere after weeks. Exactly what she _did not_ need nor want. This didn't uplift her already darkened mood at all, but more so over dragged her down even deeper.

Several days later she was welding some metal tubes, responsible for the cooling system in the Millenium Falcon together, as she was crouching inside one of its smuggling holds. The tubes were extremely rusty and on the verge of breaking open, as pretty much everything on the ship. So she had to renew them at once.  
Even if this ship was a legend and was still one of the fastest ones in the galaxy it really was to some point garbage. Every time she was finally done repairing one problem, another one was to be found and she sometimes wondered how they all survived to this day flying around in this ticking timebomb of rusty pipes, exploding electronics, malfunctioning deflector shields and missing radar dishes. Nonetheless, she loved the ship and so did Chewbacca of course, as it was the most memorable thing they had of Han Solo.

The sparks Rey produced while welding the metal pipes sparkled right onto her protective mask and she squeezed her eyes together from their brightness.  
Then she felt it. The link between her and Kylo Ren has opened once again for whatever reason. The sparks were still hurling at her face and she saw him standing right behind these metal pipes as if he was in the Falcon too. He was mere inches away from her, she could only see his back and he suddenly flinched together as if he was startled by the noises her welding was making.

Kylo swirled around, stared slightly distressed at the tool in her hands and took a step forward to her, the sparks glimmered in his dark brown eyes and he looked at the instrument in her hand. Then his gaze wandered upwards and around her, as he was probably trying to see her surroundings where she was tinkering around.  
Rey turned the welder off and pulled off the protective mask to glance at him. After looking around for some seconds his lips twitched down in disgust and his eyes fell back to her as he had recognized exactly which ship she was repairing right now. Han Solo's ship. His father's ship. The man he killed.

There was a voice in the background talking to him now, but she couldn't see enough of his surroundings to know to which person it might belong:  
"Supreme leader Ren, is there a problem of some kind?"  
Rey heard shuffling and faint talking now, there were obviously several other people, apart from Kylo Ren and this other voice in the room.  
He still had his eyes fixed on her as he was standing lesser than an arm's length away from her and answered with a pissed off face: "I felt a disturbance in the force."

Then his lips formed a thin line as he squeezed his eyes together slightly and watched her while blatantly lying to a room full of people. One other man asked shyly:  
"A disturbance you say? Does it have anything to do with the preparing of our attack on..." Kylo Ren bellowed out so suddenly the other man who was talking before instantly ceased speaking as if he had choked on his words. She could feel his breath brushing her hairline as he screamed: "NO! IT DOES NOT. You will continue this meeting without me and will keep to the protocol!"

"But...But we still didn't decide on how we want to approach the..." Finally, Kylo took his eyes of Rey and aggressively turned around to the other talker:  
"Yes, General Hux. We didn't. If you feel like you are not capable of deciding about this procedure on your own, I advise you resign from your current position and let another general take over your space. " Kylo snarled at the other man. Rey was listening closely as she knew they were talking about something important and Kylo Ren was trying to hide it from her ears. Never before she thought of the possibility to extract information like that through their bond.

"I will make the decision as I see fitting to its current status which will ultimately aid the First Order in taking..." the man started but was immediately interrupted again: "Well. That's what I wanted to hear. Sent me the decision with full detail on the planning later to my holopad. I will look through it."  
Kylo ordered as he went out of the room, where she saw him passing several chairs with different people, obviously all of them highly decorated generals and commanders.

He walked fast through these dark triangular corridors with the bright unnatural lights, she knew from the few times she was on one of these First Order ships.  
After some feet, Kylo stepped sideways into a small room and closed the automatic door behind him as he leaned against it with his arms crossed in front of his chest as he was staring at her with anger written all over his face.  
Rey knew he was extremely pissed that she nearly heard some of the First Order plans.  
"You didn't need to disrupt your meeting because of me." She smirked slightly at him in triumph.

There was a pause before he said something as his eyes grew darker with every second until his deep voice echoed angrily through the room:  
"You didn't need to stop setting this piece of junk on fire." He kind of mimicked what she said.

Her brows knitted together in annoyance. Was he trying to make fun of her? As if she didn't know what she was doing! She pulled her protective mask down again and was about to ignite the welder once more, trying to ignore him not even knowing why she started talking with him at all, when she saw him taking a step forward to her, eyeing her through the glass of the mask. He squeezed his eyes together as he bowed down slightly and Rey suddenly felt him diving into her mind, just a bit but she pushed him out in an instant, scared that he tried to steal information about the Resistance.  
"No. You don't know what you are doing." he sneered at her.

Then she heard a growl above her head and looked up. It was Chewbacca who kneeled on the upper level, asking what she was doing.  
"I'm repairing these old rusty pipes Chewie!" Rey glanced forward again to Kylo whose eyes had wandered up to the Wookie, then again down to her.  
He pushed his arms behind his back and walked some steps backwards without saying anything, still staring at her intensely.

Chewbacca now jumped down to Rey and roared infuriated. Rey understood what he was saying, but didn't understand why he asked that.  
"Why should I turn off the gas? These are pipes contain cooling water Chewie. I turned off the water."  
Kylo still stood there and watched them bicker back and forth and something like the smallest hint of a smirk appeared on his lips.  
Then he was suddenly gone.

The Wookie ripped the welder out of Rey's hands and held it up in the air while he frustratingly explained her about the pipes being cooling pipes, but also contained the gas pipes inside of them, which she wasn't able to know because it was a modification no ship normally has.  
"Of course no other ship has this! This is dangerous as hell! Why did you and Han even build this in here?"  
Chewbacca groaned and pointed with his paws at the pipes on the left and above him, then motioned something like water and roared again.  
"Because it simultaneously cools down the gas? Oh, Chewie, that is on some level a good and effective idea, but on the other hand, if someone like me is working on it, without knowing about it first, the whole ship would have exploded. This is really dangerous for other people, you should put a sign on it or something!"

The Wookie threw his hands in the air and groaned out something as he walked away with the welder in his paw.  
"What...Little Ben said the same thing to Han?"  
Little Ben...Little Ben. Oh! Chewbacca meant Ben. Of course, he must have known him back then as he always was a close friend to Han and Leia. He probably has even known him from birth to his teenage years.

So Kylo said the same thing about it being dangerous and that Han should put up at least a sign. Which they obviously never did. Having the same thoughts as him felt disturbing for her and still, she wondered why Han didn't put a sign on the wall. Or maybe it fell off or something like that. She put away the mask in defeat and decided to make a new sign, so nobody would set the whole ship on fire accidentally as she had nearly done right now.

Just now she realized she suddenly understood what Kylo...or Ben...she was confused with the names again, not knowing how to call him - was meaning when he said, she doesn't know what she was doing. He actually saved her by interrupting her welding on the pipes. But he wanted her dead. Didn't he?  
He should have been happy if the pipes would have exploded right between her hands, killing her instantly, destroying the Falcon with it.  
So maybe he meant it entirely different. Maybe he meant it about her teasing him with trying to get information from his First Order meeting through their bond.  
She didn't know what his thoughts were, but right now she was happy the whole ship didn't explode in her face today.


	3. Chapter 3: Murder

It was a warm night on the planet they resided on right now and Rey was sleeping in her own quarters on the Millenium Falcon in an oversized shirt as it was too hot to wear anything else. She rolled around and tried to find a comfortable position, but couldn't find any for hours. So sleep, once again, never came to her.

She had her own room on the ship, which she somehow tried to furnish to her own liking. Of course, it belonged to Han before and she tried not to change it too much,  
as she didn't want to destroy the spirit of the spacecraft.  
Rey didn't possess many things, just some clothes which she stored in a cupboard on the wall, her broken lightsaber and several tools for repairing ships or droids.  
Some foods, like fruits and snacks which stood in a basket on the floor next to her bed: They made her feel better, reminding her to never be hungry again, which was really important t her, since she left Jakku.

Also, the old Jedi books which were stored in a drawer of the same cupboard with her clothes. And she got hold of a flower.  
It was a red one from outside, she picked off the side of the street as she found it to be beautiful with all these overlapping petals.  
Although she didn't know what its name was. In the desert, she rarely saw any kind of plants. So Rey liked to have one around.

Rey laid on her stomach in the loose-fitting, oversized shirt, her underwear, bare feet and the blanket tangled across her naked legs.  
Then a sudden tickling feeling on the back of her head made her hair stand up and she shrieked up when she heard laser beams, a hissing sound and groaning as well as crashing and exploding metal parts as if it just happened right in her room.

She nearly fell out of bed from the shock and instantly jumped up into a standing defensive position on her mattress, grabbed her quarterstaff while searching around without seeing too much as her eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness of the room that fast.  
Just now she saw Kylo sitting directly in front of her bed on the floor, his legs sprawled straight out before him on the ground as he grabbed the left one and examined a bleeding wound on its thigh. Around him were at least two destroyed droids as far as she could see, which looked like training droids.  
He didn't wear his usual neat black uniform, but instead some loose-fitting trousers with a sleeveless black shirt and he looked sweaty as some strands of his wet hair fell in his face. This reminded Rey slightly of the scene in Snoke's throne room, where his usually orderly flowing black hair back then was a tangled mess around his facial features from the intense fight against the guards.

Rey stood directly in front of him in a fighting position with the staff in her hand, feeling utterly exposed in her choice of not so much clothing right now. Of course, Kylo looked up from his wound right at this moment, as he realized she was there and his eyes widened for a second seeing her half naked like that and he looked away in an instant. She squeaked a little in embarrassment and quickly let herself fall down in a kneeling position while she pulled the oversized shirt down to her knees as she felt her face heating up and then let the staff fall onto the mattress.  
He eyed her for a second strangely again and seemed to be just the slightest bit confused before he grabbed behind his back into a small pouch on his belt and pulled out a bacta patch as his eyes wandered away from her and down his leg again.

"You are wounded." She commented the obvious and watched him rip open the part of his pants which were burned from the shot.  
"Really? Haven't noticed it." He sarcastically commented as he applied the patch on his thigh in a well-practiced way.  
Then he turned a bit around, while still sitting and pulled one of the broken droids with the force into his lap.  
"Why did you get shot by a droid?" Rey curiously asked as she watched him fumble with the outer shell of it until it opened with a faint hiss.

He didn't answer, which unnerved her a lot. Obviously, he didn't want to talk to her. Fine. Then she didn't need to talk to him too but use this bond at least to get any information about the First Order through seeing what he does or talk with others.  
After Kylo opened the droid he pulled out a small chip from the insides. Rey couldn't see which one it was at first as it was too far away to see.  
So she leaned forward from her bed on all fours over the edge to get a better look, while he held it up in his right hand to examine it.  
Rey was just inches away from him and could hear him breathing and feel the warmth his body radiated.  
Why had he taken out that chip? Was something wrong with it?

Kylo suddenly balled his hand into a fist with the chip in it, so she wouldn't be able to see it anymore. Then he looked up at her again and bowed slightly forward so their noses nearly touched each other. She gasped at this sudden proximity and shrieked backwards on her bed again as she hissed out: "Stars! Stop this!"  
"What? Stop you from prying?" he asked with a sincere voice as he fixed his eyes on hers, but she saw them wander down on her body and her now exposed legs.  
Then they went back again to her eyes.

Rey felt a rush of heat on her face once again, so she instantly draped the covers over her legs, but didn't know what to answer as she was of course prying.  
Kylo watched her in silence as his brows knit together a little and he put the chip into a pocket on the side of his pants.  
Then he pulled himself up, pulled the other broken droid in the air and proceeded to remove its chip too to examine it.

"You think they were manipulated?" She asked again, still being curious as it now came to her mind why he might be inspecting these chips.  
He stashed the second chip into his pocket, turned into her direction and watched her with his arms crossed, maybe pondering about answering her or not.  
"What do you know about them?" He asked after several long seconds.

Rey waited before she answered, thinking if she would by any chance help him with anything relating to the First Order if she says anything.  
But in the end, he could look up everything she would tell him now later in some databank. So it didn't matter actually.

"It's a Marksman-H combat remote unit with repulsorshift generators and eight manoeuvring thrusters to perform fast-paced, unpredictable movements.  
It contains several chips to control the intensity of the shots from just light stun beams to lethal shots and can be programmed to the owners will, but is able to take commands from others who initiate the program when the droid is started."  
She shot out just like that. The scene funnily reminded her of the moment he had kidnapped her on Starkiller Base where he tried to get the map from BB-8 out of her head. That was where she also stubbornly told him about the specifications of the droid without telling him about its contents, to which he back then replied with an amused smirk, moments before digging through her head with the force.

He followed her words as she explained it and his lips squeezed together lightly. If it was in amusement again or in annoyance, she didn't know.  
"And who is the owner?" He asked as he tilted his head a little sideways as if he expected her to know the answer.

She blinked at that question while she thought about it a bit. "Uhm. The one who bought it? The one who is registered in its program as its last buyer."  
Now she was sure he was smiling pretty satisfied at her answer, even if it was just the slightest bit, but he didn't say anything.

"Aren't you the owner?" She asked now as she crawled forward again to get a better look at the droids, the blanket started falling from her legs but she didn't care now,  
as she had the feeling she was on to something.

"No. Someone from the First Order, responsible for the finances is." Kylo answered as his eyes fell down to her legs again, then up to her face and he shifted his stance to the one with the crossed arms in front of his chest as if he tried hard to not be distracted by them.

"You know that someone of your own ranks then probably tried to murder you?" Rey asked as she now stood up and didn't care anymore how much she was wearing at this moment or not. She kneeled down beside the broken droids and wondered if she could touch them. She tried to and failed as her hand just went through it. She sighed at that, but was also slightly happy to know, she couldn't interact with the world from him through their bond.  
Which meant he couldn't too.  
"There is another chip placed right there." She pointed her finger towards the place where she would extract it if she could right now.

He waited for some seconds, but then took a step forward and kneeled down beside her too, to open the metal part of the droid she was showing him.  
They were so close again. Why does this still feel so intense for her? She should be happy that he was shot in his damn thigh for all he had done to her and her friends.  
But right now she felt her heart pounding fast against her chest as their hands nearly touched when he reached for the droid. She pulled her finger away hastily as if she was scared, that he could accidentally touch her.  
When he extracted the other chip he examined it in his hands and asked: "What does this one do?"

She pulled her big shirt forwards over her knees again, as if she suddenly was aware once more, her legs were showing.  
Kylo watched her hiding under the shirt, but didn't comment it and waited patiently for her answer.  
"It's the backup chip. If you have some good technology on board, of which I am sure you have, with such a rich organization as your First Order, you can countercheck both chips against each other. If there are any small changes in the sequences of the first one compared to the second one you retrieved,  
you know it was manipulated. If not, then the owner himself had programmed it this way. So you can isolate the possible suspects who were tinkering with the chips."

His fist tightened around the small thing and he stood up, to retrieve the chip from the other droid too. He stashed them both in his pockets and turned around,  
facing Rey again as she was still kneeling on the ground next to the droid.  
Then Kylo walked over to her and squatted himself right in front of her. letting his elbows rest on his knees while he slightly cocked his head to the side,  
looming over her, again two heads bigger than she is. She looked up expectingly and blinked at him, waiting for him to say something. She could see his brown eyes searching hers as they darted back and forth with many emotions playing behind them and his hair hung loosely around his face while he looked slightly down at her.  
He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something and breathed out a soft-spoken: "Rey..."

But Kylo and the training droids were gone in an instant and Rey was alone in her room again, on the cold metal floor of the Millenium Falcon.  
"Seriously?" She hissed as her hands went up in frustration.


	4. Chapter 4: Books

**The Name changing throughout several chapters is intended, as Rey has problems to decide whether she has Ben Solo talking to her or Kylo Ren.**

* * *

Rey's last force connection moment with Kylo Ren was now about two weeks ago and there hasn't been any sign of their bond.  
She didn't know why it took so long, as their other encounters mostly were in a span of just several days, so she started wondering if he was maybe even assassinated by one of his own men.  
But she would surely feel the passing of another force user somehow, especially when she had a bond with him. Wouldn't she?

Over the last weeks, the Resistance luckily grew in numbers again. It was far away from what they were before, but at least they were now about fifty people again and also in the possession of four ships plus the Falcon. Which was indeed an improvement judging from the devastating state they were after the battle of Crait with just the Millenium Falcon left, as well just about thirty people who survived.  
Increasing numbers also meant it was not possible anymore to hide under the covers of their allies, but rather search for an own base again to not endanger others with their presence.

The Resistance finally found a new temporary base, which was still in the Outer Rim. Which wasn't their first choice but had the purpose to not be detected by the First Order. They were on their way to it at this moment, travelling through lightspeed for several hours, taking all of their newly acquired ships and everyone with them, who was willing to follow.

Rey was in her room and had found enough motivation to try reading these old Jedi texts again after so long, as she dearly wanted to repair the lightsaber Kylo and she had destroyed and of course learn about the ways of the force as she still hoped to become a Jedi somehow and someday. She had all the eight books spread in front of her on the floor, also two holopads and a third glass of wine she poured herself to help her concentrate, or better to ease her by now insanely annoyed temper about all these signs and strange letters she didn't understand at all.  
Even C3PO who was fluent in six million languages, did not find out how to read these books.

Rey laid on her stomach on the floor with a blanket under her so it wouldn't be too cold, while occasionally sipping on her red wine as the holopad ran one particular symbol she found out to be in the books quite often through a databank to find out from which language it might be. She was barefoot and her room was only lit with some candles, as she liked the flickering light more than the unnatural, bright light of the ship's lamps.

Just when she took another sip of her beverage and ran a finger along the silky texture of the paper from the smallest yellowish book, she felt it again.  
The humming of the force surrounding everything. A familiar feeling which flooded her body with warmth for some reason, but also with anxiety as these meetings were always really intense and she didn't know when either he, or she will accidentally spill secrets which ultimately would lead to killing one another or her friends.

Of course! Secrets. He wasn't allowed to see that she had these books! Who knows what he'd do with the knowledge inside of them?  
If he was even able to read them.  
So she immediately pushed herself slightly up and force-pushed the blanket she lied on forward onto the books and the holopad to hide them from his gaze, spilling a bit wine on the floor and herself by doing so.  
But Rey saw it was already too late, as Ben stood in front of a transparent, floating monitor, while he scrolled through something which seemed like an official letter or declaration with his gloved fingers which had now remained in place as he watched her wiggle back on the floor with the glass in one hand after pushing the blanket away.  
His eyes squeezed together suspiciously and fell onto the small bulk under the cloth on the floor, then back to her.

"You have paper books?" This was more of a rhetorical statement by him than it was a question. "You know how extremely uncommon they are in the galaxy by now?"  
Another statement, which was verbalized as a question. Then he looked away and resumed scrolling the text on his own monitor again as he read it, or at least seemed to be doing so.

"Yes. I am aware of that." Rey answered spitefully as she stood up to walk in his direction to see what exactly he was reading, not minding that it was obvious she was trying to pull information out of this bond again.  
He didn't move, even if he must have been aware she was trying to read his text.  
"So, how does a nearly destroyed organisation without any financial background as the Resistance get their hands on so much paper?  
Only rich collectors and the major archives are in the possession of such books." Ben answered as he highlighted some parts of this unbelievably long text and wrote a big: _NO! Refrain from TR-38.79.  
Use TR-37.65 instead._ On to the monitor with his finger.

"I will not answer your question." Rey growled out and took another step forward to boldly read the declaration now, fully aware that he saw it while she was wondering when he'd stop her or turn the monitor off. But somehow he didn't.  
It was something about the handling of governmental food reserves and the embargo of such.  
Priorly it said: "The embargo on imports will be held up, until further commitment of the local population to the exposal of black market traders among them." This sentence was crossed out now and had the notice with a number to something else, Rey didn't know of. She wondered if his note meant that he'd be lifting the embargo, but before she was able to ask about it, he talked first: "Still into prying?" Ben asked a little teasingly without stopping correcting and commenting parts of the text.

"As long as you don't do anything about it and it benefits the Resistance, I will pry. Yes." Rey answered boldly as she took another step and stood now next to him, while he never looked at her and kept on his work.

"This is a declaration about the regulations of handing over a current government. Isn't it? Are governments seriously handing over their planets to the First Order voluntarily?" Rey asked as she took a big gulp of her wine in shock.

"Of course they do." Ben answered boldly as he crossed out some more sentences, writing a big " _NO!_ " and afterwards a " _Still - NO!_ " Next to it.  
It was something about selling weapons to the local population by the government. Rey noticed Ben had a passive-aggressive way of commenting this whole document and she was pretty sure, every general or politician who might read his notes afterwards will be totally annoyed or absolutely pissed by them which made her nearly laugh out loud at it.  
"Why are you letting me see this?" Rey now asked as she looked at him biting his lower lip in concentration.

Ben turned his head around to her and his eyes wandered to hers. "Do you feel like you get any valuable information for your small rebel group by seeing these texts?"  
Rey opened her mouth and wanted to say something, but bit back her tongue as she thought about it. She already knew there were several planets which are being overtaken by the First Order, her newest info was just that supposedly some of them bowed voluntarily and that Ben was indeed the Supreme Leader now, who'd be defining the rules between the different parties. Actually, the second one wasn't some kind of new information and the first one was something they would soon have found out anyways, or General Leia might already know about it.  
So, unfortunately, he had a point.

As there was a lack of an answer by her, he dipped his head down slightly and searched her eyes with his to conclude: "Ah...You don't."  
Then he turned away again to work on the paper as she kept on watching him while occasionally sipping her wine, in case there was any information which was useful for her.  
He ignored her completely and she wasn't sure if he was unnerved by her presence or really had to work this through right now.  
After some time she couldn't stand the silence anymore, so she asked something that burned on her tongue since it had happened:  
"Why did you attack us on Crait? You nearly killed your mother and me."

"Now you go from espionage to lying?" he asked as he gritted his teeth slightly but kept on looking onto the monitor while he balled one fist behind his back.  
Rey was taken back by the sudden aggressive aura he was emitting and she wondered why he accused her of lying. She could live with the accusation of espionage, which was exactly what she was trying to do in every of their force bonding meetings, but she never had the feeling of lying to him at any given time.

"I don't know what you mean. I never lied to you." She said with a strong voice to wipe away any doubt. Ben now stopped his work again to turn around. He took a step forward and bowed down slightly to her with both arms crossed behind his back as his eyes started to drill holes in hers until she felt the force crashing into her as she was suddenly aware that he was trying to penetrate her mind. She instantly put up a defensive wall, so he couldn't see inside her head.  
She succeeded, as she did before, but she also saw what exactly he was searching for. He searched for recent memories of his mother.

She took a step backwards now, her eyebrows were scrunched together in confusion. "Your mother? Why should I lie about her? You nearly killed her with that big super weapon you released onto the Resistance hideout. But luckily she escaped with me. After the death of your father I thought, I felt just the slightest bit of regret in you.  
But _obviously_ , I was mistaken." Rey snapped at him.

His expression changed now from menacing to something else she couldn't quite get a grip on, but his eyes wandered back and forth between hers as if he tried to find out if she was speaking the truth while stepping back a bit and inhaling sharply.  
He didn't look threating at all anymore, but more like a small child who did a fatal error and was now scolded for it.  
She didn't quite understand this odd behaviour and wondered if he maybe thought that Leia wasn't actually on Crait, or even thought her to be dead when his troops attacked.

Just when she wanted to say something about it, the door to Rey's room flew open and Finn burst inside yelling with the biggest grin on his face: "Reeeey!"  
Her eyes widened in panic as she suddenly was hyperaware that Finn could say about anything that could be useful for Ben to use it against the Resistance.  
Ben turned around suddenly to watch Finn bark in just like that, so he took some steps forward to stand right in front of the former stormtrooper to eye him, while he mumbled aggressively: "Traitor..."  
The two men stood exactly next to each other, without Finn knowing it and Rey could feel her heart sink into her chest as the only thing she wanted to do now, was to yell at Finn to get out immediately to stay safe and not reveal any information to the supreme leader.

"Fiiiiinn!" Rey cried out in the most awkward voice from her suddenly dry throat. Then her glance darted back and forth between Finn and Ben until she realized that behaviour would look awkward, so she tried to fix her eyes on her best friend again.  
Finn turned around now and directly looked at Ben, or through him as he wasn't able to see him, then he started to wave his hand in front of his face.  
"Hello, Finn to Rey? I am here. Are you drunk or something?" He now joked at her as his glance fell onto the nearly empty wine glass between her fingers.

Rey now looked down to her hand, then back to Finn and for half a second over to Ben, then back to Finn. "Uhm...Yeah...Uh. Yes...Yes...Yes!  
I am sooo drunk. Really bad.  
Just wanted to go to bed, cause I'm done for actually. Let's talk tomorrow. Good night Finn." Rey said, as she took the former stormtrooper in her arm and started to walk him out of her room.

Suddenly he stopped and huffed out while gesturing quotation marks:  
"But Rey! You can't sit in your room the whole day, trying to decrypt these "secret Jedi books" you stole from Luke, without any food and by just drinking wine all day. You know, Rose just cooked something for everyone and I thought you might wanna join us!"

Rey desperately clasped her hand on her forehead as she saw Ben's face turning into something that resembled a smirk of some sorts.  
Just then Finn walked over to the blanket on the ground and even pulled it up to reveal all her work on the floor. She instantly walked over to grip the cloth, wanting to throw it over again until her right now extremely annoying friend picked up one book and turned some pages as he said:  
"You know, I would be frustrated too if I were you. All these signs don't make any sense to me, they don't even look like they form any sentences. Why did Luke not teach you how to read them before he died?"

She snapped the book away from Finn's hand and threw the blanket over her work again. Meanwhile, Ben already kneeled in front of her holopad and the books on the floor and by now had seen everything she was trying to hide from his eyes the whole time.  
"Yes. I am extremely frustrated right now Finn. So super frustrated! So, please go back to Rose, I'll come soon okay? I just need to clean up a little and freshen myself okay? I'll be there soon." She groaned out in annoyance at what had just been revealed.  
"I can help you clean it up!" Finn exclaimed and was about to pull the blanket back up again. "MAKER! Finn. No! Seriously. I really need to do this alone right now. Please! Go to Rose, I'll be there in some minutes!"

Finn held his hands up in defence in front of his chest: "Phew! Okay okay. Miss 'I am acting extremely strange right now because I can't handle some glasses of wine'. I'll wait outside with the others."  
"Thank you! Finn. You are the best!" Rey said bitterly as her friend finally left the room, leaving her and Ben on their own again without ever knowing there were three people in the room.  
Rey pressed the book she snapped away from Finn against her chest and slid down the door to sit on the floor and stare at Ben, who stared back at her with some kind of triumphant grin forming on his lips as he made his way forward to her.

"I bet you feel really smug about that right now." Rey hissed out as she looked upwards to Ben who now stood in front of her and glanced down at her hands which pressed the book against her chest. He squatted down in front of her and she inhaled sharply at his close proximity again. Why was he always doing this? Being so close, eyeing her as if he was directly staring into her soul. And why was she getting so nervous every time? Was it fear? She knew she didn't fear him as she was able to stand a chance against him - in her mind and on the battlefield. But why did her heart always start to flutter so fast he was so close? It certainly had to do something with their bond, their forces disrupting each other or something similar.

He didn't answer her statement but asked with a serious, but interested expression on his face in some kind of a pleading voice while he reached out his palm towards her: "Can I see it?"  
"No. Of course not!" Rey answered right away and pulled her legs upwards to hide the book better.  
"You will never be able to read them on your own." He simply stated as his eyes searched hers.  
"Why not?" She retorted with a huff in disbelief.  
Ben waited for several seconds before doing something again, as he seemed to think about his next move to not anger her any further about him. He changed from his squatting position to sitting crosslegged in front of her as he removed one of his gloves.  
"What are you doing?" Rey asked now with a mix of anxiety, curiosity and sudden excitement.

"Showing you memories." He answered shortly as he extended his hands towards her, nearly touching her knee as it hovered above her legs while his eyes were fixed on hers. Rey's breath suddenly got caught in her lungs and she felt a warm feeling streaming through her whole body and her eyes filled with tears as the memory of the mutual trust they had back then when they shared memories like that on Ahch-To, flashed back into her mind.

"I...I don't trust you anymore like I did last time." She stuttered as her tear-filled eyes searched his and she had to gulp down several times to not burst into tears as everything that had taken place between them just hurt so much right now.  
He breathed out and closed his eyes for a second, as his lip started to tremble just the slightest bit, obviously this was hard for him too and he knew how much she was hurt. He opened them again and pulled his gloved hand up, which he placed slowly and carefully on her left knee while leaning forward, reaching out with his already outstretched hand to hers which were still clutched around the book.

She flinched first as the contact on her knee, even when it was through two layers of fabric, it already felt so intense and intimate, also familiar,  
she automatically pulled her fingers away from the book and reached her hand out to meet his. He closed the gap with his ungloved hand and intertwined their fingers into each other as he let his arm slightly lay down on her other knee while she inhaled sharply at the contact of their fingers skin on skin once again.

Just from the touch itself she felt the force flowing from him through her in strong waves, Rey was overwhelmed and started to hear her heart pump blood through her veins in such a fast way, she thought she might pass out from it. He also seemed as excited as her, as his breath became a little faster and erratic while he watched her reaction intensely with a slightly opened mouth and a trembling lip. She glanced at his lips as they looked a little puffy when his mouth was open and he closed them to a thin line when he realized she was looking at them. Her eyes went up to his dark, brown eyes again which seemed to see to the very core of her heart and she felt a tingling sensation in her stomach by staring at them.

* * *

The vision started and she saw a slightly younger version of Ben sitting at a writing desk in the middle of a dark room with an open book lying next to him on the grey table.  
 _Snoke stood in front of him and pressed his disgusting long fingers around his head while Ben was writing down something on a parchment scroll with an ink brush as his hands were without gloves, which was an uncommon sight.  
_  
 _The scroll seemed to be several feet long, as it reached the ground and kept on going all over the floor to some point Rey couldn't see._  
 _He must have sat there for hours already as he seemed to be writing it all in some form of calligraphy which he did absolutely fluently and incredibly beautiful but it also took longer than normal writing. The signs in the open book next to him looked extremely similar to the ones which were in all these Jedi books she had stolen._

 _She could just see his back right now, not his face until Snoke started screaming when Ben drew a particular sign: "NOO! Wrong! Again!" And he obviously used the force on Ben's mind at this moment as his body started trembling and he groaned out in pain. Then Snoke's other hand shot up and he sent a wave of force lightning onto the parchment, which instantly burst into flames and fell apart in ashen remains. Ben pulled up his hands and watched the paper burn for several seconds, then brushed the leftover ashes onto the ground and reached out to pull another roll of parchment with the force up into his hands, which he just laid in the same place where the old one was before._

 _"Again! From the beginning!" Snoke ordered._  
 _Ben used the force to turn the pages of the book to the first page and dipped his brush into the ink as he silently started to draw the first sign again._ _The room seemed to become more visible now and there were several other rolls of parchment laid out on the floor to let the ink dry and just then she saw how much Ben had already written by now. It seemed he was translating the whole book or even additional books for hours or even days and she wondered how his hand had now fallen off by now as it seemed like an endless work of art._

* * *

The vision ended suddenly and Rey saw Ben still sitting in front of her, their fingers entwined which each other and he had his head tipped to the side, lips pressed together slightly while he waited for her reaction.  
She suddenly realized they still held hands, so she slid them out of his, but for whatever reason, of which she didn't know why, but she felt it was right at the moment, she reached two fingers and her thumb out and brushed them slowly alongside his soft fingertips where he had held the ink brush in the vision. She felt the force flowing extremely strong through him, just by running her fingertips down his and it gave her goosebumps on her whole body.

He just watched her intensely as she did this and didn't move his hand away while she could first hear him inhale sharply and then holding his breath for some seconds.  
Then she let her hand fall down loosely onto the book against her chest and her body relaxed slightly against the wall. He instantly took his hands away from her knees and she parted her legs, so she could sit in a cross-legged position too in front of him to calm down and normalize this situation somehow. Even if nothing at all was normal about their situation right now.  
"Ben...this was...horrible. Snoke was horrible! What was that book Snoke ordered you translate from? It certainly looked like the texts in my books. What is this language?"

"It's an ancient written language of the Jedi and the Sith. Both used it centuries ago. Every force user learned this language eventually from their masters. There are no data records of it, so only the ones who are familiar with the ways of the force are able to read it." He answered as he absentmindedly rubbed his fingers Rey touched with the thumb of his other hand.

"So...When there are no Jedi or Sith masters left in the whole galaxy to teach me, I'd never be able to learn it, 'cause it is actually lost knowledge? Which in conclusion makes you the only living person left who is able to read or teach it?" Rey asked as she was about to ensure she understood his words right.

He dipped his head down slightly and nodded slowly while he glanced at her like they were exchanging a whole conversation just through looks, which they somehow did as both right now realized they were the only living force users left, Rey was still lacking a teacher and he was the only one who still had most of the knowledge she sought.

Rey blinked at him and whispered softly: "Ben...I..."

But he was gone. She was alone in her room again. Rey stood up with an unnerved growl as she pulled together all the books and the holopads from the floor, pushed them in her drawer again, gulped down the rest of her wine and then left the room to join Finn, Rose and the others with a feeling of loneliness inside her even if she was surrounded by people she loved.

* * *

 **Ben writing passive-aggressive notes to other generals. I would love to see that in the next movie!**


	5. Chapter 5: Warning

The base has finally moved and the rebels had settled in nicely and were already working on running supply and scouting. General Organa had just called for a full meeting in the conference room to plan out the next steps and Rey sat between Finn and Chewbacca, listening to her and Poe explaining several missions they are going to run in the upcoming days.

Exactly at that moment, she felt the humming of their force bond playing in her head again. The familiar warm feeling went through her body and she closed her eyes to be prepared. This was probably the most unfitting moment of all because the risk of Kylo Ren hearing useful information in this meeting was at about one hundred percent.  
As her head turned around, ready to sprint out of the room to avoid giving him information, she saw him sitting in an equal meeting held by the First Order as General Hux was explaining something to him and several generals. The voices of Poe, Leia, Hux and other generals all mixed together and it made it hard for Rey to concentrate on just one voice. Of course, she needed to know what Hux was telling them. Kylo looked over at her in shock and probably thought the same as she did, but didn't move away, maybe to not be too obvious again.

The voices kept mixing up and she just heard snippets of Hux speech about some spy and a base, which sounded extremely important.  
She absolutely needed to hear this!  
Just when Leia wanted to say something about their base, Rey jumped up in desperation and screamed: "STOP!" The whole room went quiet and all eyes were on her.  
Now she was finally able to hear general Hux talking again, who was grinning wildly while he explained something about a spy.

Kylo glanced over to her for a moment when she screamed but turned his head again to Hux really fast to not look suspicious.  
Leia crossed the room and walked over to Rey, asking a little concerned: "What is it, my dear? Why shall we stop this meeting?"  
Kylo's eyes widened as he saw his very alive mother standing in front of Rey, now talking to her while she looked panicked back at him.

"So the spy within their allies kept on supervising them until he knew about their relocation to a new base."  
Hux explained and Kylo looked back at him and the huge hologram with a star system on it.  
Now the really interesting part started and Rey walked several steps forward to better listen to what Hux was about to say.  
Kylo watched her and huffed a second in annoyance, then turned his head around to watch Hux again with squinted eyes.

As Rey didn't answer Leia, the general asked again: "Why did you yell 'Stop!' Rey?" Rey slowly turned her head to Leia, while trying to listen to Hux.  
She put a finger up her mouth to shush her and answered: "Force vision. Now."

Kylo turned his head around again and directly stared at her with a meaningful glance, then again to his mother and back to Hux.  
"Supreme Leader Ren, you seem distracted, _once again_ " General Hux snarled sarcastically on Kylo's behaviour of looking completely away from him during his speech,  
while he was staring at the wall next to him where he saw Rey and his mother.

Kylo turned his head back and leaned himself on his elbow as he answered: "General Hux, you seem like a disloyal, stuck-up Nerf-herder, who doesn't seem to know his place, _once again_ " "What? A...A Nerf-herder?" The general's face went red but was obviously not allowed or was too scared to give a retort as he bit down on his lip, to not say something against him. Rey snorted at Ben using this word as it was Leia's favourite insult for pretty much every one of whom she was unnerved with.  
Poe now also stood next to Leia and asked with an irritated look on his face: "So it's a funny force vision?" As he saw Rey giggling at something in front of her.

Rey turned her head around for a second and shushed everyone again, then she looked back at Hux and listened. "Please continue General Hux." Ben waved his hand at the red-haired man as if he hadn't just insulted him in front of all the other generals sitting beside them. The general cleared his throat and looked with distaste at his leader,  
but then continued: "The spy confirmed the new location to be on the planet Rattatak, the leftover rebels are about fifty people and they are in the possession of four ships plus the Millenium Falcon."

"Shit..." Rey mumbled as she heard that. She felt panic crawling up and her eyes fell onto Leia's who looked at her with a troubled expression. "Rey, what do you see?" Leia now asked. "Wait...wait..." Rey whispered and held a hand out to stop her from talking again.

"So we have several battleships on our way already, I suppose?" Ben commented as he laid both his palms flatly on to the table as if he had to calm himself.  
"Yes, of course, Supreme Leader. We've got three Dreadnoughts with several hundred TIE-fighters on their way. There is no chance they will escape this time."

The redhaired man grinned in triumph as he pulled up a hologram of the planet of Rattatak. "Their base is on this side of the planet, we'll let the fighters approach from the other side and fly low, which will confuse their radars so they'll never expect our attack. If anyone manages to escape there will be these dreadnoughts and several other TIE-fighters waiting above them to catch the last rebels and crush them to bits. Nobody will be able to survive this attack!" Hux now nearly yelled in enthusiasm with a raised fist.

"Stars...Oh no..." Rey kept on mumbling in shock as the glances of the rebels grew concerned by her behaviour. Kylo looked at her for a second and his eyes looked different than usual. There was nothing angry or emotionless like he usually wore his expression. There was something which looked like concern or even fear. But he instantly switched back to his usual glance and turned his head over to Hux again.  
"These are quite good news General Hux. Make sure this attack will work out as you planned it beforehand. I expect your report every twenty minutes until the attack is over."

Ben stood up, as he ended the meeting. Then he walked next to Hux as both left the room together. "How long will the Dreadnoughts take to reach Rattatak? Do you have an exact time?" Hux had his arms crossed behind his back as both men walked down the corridor. "Yes of course. When they stay on their current course, they will reach their destination in about two hours and twelve minutes standard time. The attack itself shouldn't take more than twenty minutes afterwards."

Ben nodded as he answered: "In mere three hours the Resistance will finally be gone! You did well for once." The red-haired general frowned at him and nodded,  
then excused himself and went into another corridor to his left. Ben walked straight into the approaching elevator in front of him and stared at Rey, who looked at him with panic in her eyes. "Rey. I gave you two hours." Ben said in a low threatening voice to her as he balled his hands into fists next to his sides.

Rey didn't answer but nodded slowly, as she still didn't want anybody to know she was talking to him instead of having a force vision, so she instantly turned around and announced loudly to everyone in the room: "I had a sudden strong force vision right now. Our base will be under attack again in at least two hours. There was a spy among our allies, who ratted us out. We need to immediately evacuate and flee as far away from this planet as possible."

"A force vision? Are they not like...I don't know, dreams? In the future. But not specifically? I mean, how should anybody find us out here?" Poe doubted her as he raised his hands up next to him to show his confusion. "Yes Rey, normally these visions are never clear and also don't tell you a specific time of them happening. Are you sure it also was about exactly this base at this time?" Leia now asked as she also grew suspicious.

"Stars! I seriously won't explain it any further! We really - fucking really need to pack our things and evacuate right now! We will all be dead in at least two hours if we don't leave now. Please! I saw it clearly!" Rey nearly cried at them, not believing how much they were doubting her.

Finn stood up and walked over to her as he laid a hand on her back. "If Rey says she saw it, I believe her. I don't want to live through the same thing as I did on Crait.  
So let's move it! Why should she tell us any bantha shit?" Rose now jumped up too and yelled: "Yes folks! Let's move it! I believe her vision to be true. Of course, it is!"  
Leia took a step forward and whispered to Rey: "Rey I know you are hiding something. This was not a force vision. They don't work that way. You might fool the others,  
but after the evacuation, I will have a serious word with you."  
"Yes whatever you want Leia, but really please let's go now!" Rey hissed out in distress at her.

General Organa raised her voice again: "The evacuation is expected to be ready to depart in exactly two hours standard time. You know the drill! Do your tasks and swarm out - now!" Everybody nodded and immediately ran out, packing stuff together and readying the ships for departure. Rey ran out too and made her way to the Falcon as she started to check the mechanics outside of it. After finding nothing abnormal or dysfunctioning, she ran up to the ramp, which was already lowered.

Just before Rey went completely into the ship, she stood exactly at the same place on the door where she stood last time when she saw Ben through the force bond after his attack on Crait where he knelt down while she shut the door so she didn't have to see him anymore. She stood there for several seconds and saw him still leaning with crossed arms in front of his chest in the elevator against the black wall behind him.

She looked left and right, to see if anybody else could see her right now, but luckily there was nobody. So she jumped down from the ramp again and walked over to him really fast. He looked at her with an extremely troubled expression, as he obviously betrayed his organisation again in the second worst possible way after killing his leader. She stepped close in front of him and could already feel his body warmth radiating to her, whilst the air on the planet she was on was rather cold today. Her eyes were fixed on his, as she tried to see what he was thinking at this moment which was hard as his face seemed to have several emotions thrown together right now.

She took a deep breath and suddenly closed the gap between them, while she grabbed both his gloved hands, which laid on top of his lower arms as he stared down at her. Rey let her head fall forward slightly with tears in her eyes and let her forehead rest against his chest for some time. She felt him tense at this sudden closeness and his heart jumped so hard against his ribcage, she wondered if he would maybe die any second from an exploding heart, but she didn't care now, but was just extremely relieved and thankful he let her see this information, so they'd be able to save everyone. She just mumbled: "Ben? Thank you."

Then she looked up again and their faces were just inches apart from each other now and she felt her body heat up in a such a way it had never done before, the moment she looked at his slightly opened lips, she had the sudden urge to run her fingers over them. Which she didn't, as they were still entangled with his hands. He now squeezed her finger slightly together, finally reacting to her and answered in a low, but compassionate and concerned voice: "Go now."

One more squeeze of his hands, which seemed to tremble slightly and she stepped back and let go, never losing eye contact. Then she ran back to the Millenium Falcon and closed the door while watching him with a big smile playing on her face. He looked back with knitted brows as he inhaled deeply and held his breath, as this was something he hadn't planned and he was obviously torn apart by his decision. Then the door was closed and Rey readied the ship to depart.

Everybody got out safely, the First Order was just able to find an empty rebel base and the spy was assassinated as he obviously - at least to General Hux's opinion - was a double-faced traitor who probably gave them wrong information on intend or warned the Resistance beforehand in a tinge of foolish solidarity. Ben was informed of the failed attack and at least destroyed several control boards in rage, to look like he wouldn't be relieved that Rey escaped in the last minute.


	6. Chapter 6: Truth

After they had evacuated the base once again, the Resistance was informed by several other allies around the Outer Rim, that the First Order indeed tried to attack the former base, but retreated as they found it to be empty.  
Everyone was absolutely relieved to be still alive and again they were on their way to another planet, hoping they'd be able to stay there for a little longer this time.

Rey was pretty tense as she knew, that she saved everyone with the information Ben shared, but it was obvious to some that she was hiding something and Leia would soon be interrogating her about it, where she probably has to reveal a lot of things she didn't want to right now.  
But maybe it was for good and Leia would understand and see why she did things the way she had done them by now. Also, it was getting harder for her to hide the connection any time longer anyway.

The moment the ship had departed, Finn and Rose besieged her in an instant and started asking questions about her force vision, which she tried to avoid by saying she feels exhausted from it and has a headache. Both of them then kept spinning insane theories at how these visions work and how Rey could maybe trigger them to foretell the future to their advance.

Rey just kept quiet about it and held her forehead in annoyance as she felt so guilty about lying to her friends for so long and she didn't know how to tell them about pretty much everything that has taken place since Ahch-To with Ben.  
When Finn and Rose were at their peak of conspiracy theories about her vision, Leia and Poe approached Rey and asked to come to her quarters with them. Rey gulped down as she knew, she had to tell the truth now, so she stood up with shaky legs and followed them both.

As the three of them walked into her room, Leia sat on Rey's bed and motioned her to sit beside her, as Poe stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed and his face distorted into a frown.  
Rey sat down and felt her hands getting sweaty from being so stressed and she grabbed her blanket with both hands next to her thighs to at least have something to hold on, while she has to confess everything.

"Rey. You know why we are sitting here. I am indefinitely glad you warned us about the incoming attack. I really am. We survived because of your doing. But there is obviously something you are hiding from us and we need to know what it is because I can't leave any loose threads open which might pose danger to our organisation and our cause. Do you understand this?" Leia asked with a serious, but also motherly glance at her.

Rey nodded slowly and pulled her trembling hands up onto her lap as she fumbled nervously with her fingers.  
"I immediately knew you did not have a force vision when we were in the conference room. They are never so clear with exact times and places like you described it." Leia reproached her.

Now Poe talked too: "Finn and I noticed you being distant, acting strangely and sometimes act like you are not really here since weeks. And now this. We seriously worry about you. Please tell us what this is all about."

Rey inhaled deeply with a shaky breath. So this is it. She has to reveal all that lying she did for months. "Ok. I will tell you. You will hate me.  
I expect nothing else. You can send me away afterwards, expel me from the Resistance if you want to, I will fully understand if you'd do."

Poe and Leia exchanged confused glances and prepared for the worst as both shifted their position slightly and started to look tense.  
"It started when I was on Ahch-To. Luke refused to train me, he was an old bitter man who did not believe anymore in the way of the Jedi.  
He wanted them and all what they stood for to end.

He ignored me mostly and went on with his daily routine. I was getting frustrated but kept on pleading him to train me. My power was already growing by then, I felt it, something was always there and it had just started to awaken."

Rey paused for a short time as she somehow had to tell them about Ben now.  
"Keep on." Leia said with a stern face.  
Rey inhaled once more and tears formed in her eyes as she was scared to tell it with a trembling voice.  
"One day, when I sat outside alone on Ahch-To, pondering about how to persuade Luke to come back, I felt something in the force.  
I never felt this before, so I didn't know what it was. When I looked around I saw Ben. Right in front of me. I tried to shoot him instantly with my blaster."

Leia's eyes widened and her mouth gaped open: "Ben? My son? On Ahch-To? Did he attack you? Did he find Luke?"  
Then Poe interrupted them and yelled out in surprise: "Ben? You mean Kylo Ren? Why was he on that island?"

Rey held up her hands to stop them: "No! No. He was not there. Not physically at least. I didn't know too back then. The shot did go right through him and he was not hurt. We were able to see and talk to each other, but not to hurt the other one. It was a short meeting and he disappeared after several seconds when we realized the force is somehow connecting us. We both didn't understand why it happened though."

"So he was not on Ahch-To, but some kind of force projection of him? Like Luke did on Crait? Did he contact you on purpose like that?"  
Leia asked now. "No, he did not contact me. He was as surprised as I was about this." Rey answered as she thought back to their first force connection meeting and how scared she was, that Ben might really be there and would try to kill Luke.

"While I lived on that island, following Luke around learning and doing basically nothing by the former Jedi, this connection between Ben and me manifested several more times. It never happened on our own account and we never knew when it will happen again or why it did.  
As we weren't able to fight each other we somehow started talking after some time, while we also discovered the bond was getting stronger,  
as it started out to just show us the other person but after a while, we could see the environment or feel and smell things on the other side,  
like rain and such." Rey explained as she held out her hand like she was catching raindrops in it.

Poe clasped a hand to his face and mumbled frustrated: "Stars...I know where this is going..." Rey's face was getting red at this comment and looked down on her still trembling fingers as she had never thought about how this connection would sound to other people and she just now understood what Poe was implying, hoping Leia wouldn't catch on.  
"Poe, let her explain." Leia pulled up her hand to stop him as she stared with an intense gaze at Rey, which somehow reminded her of how Ben sometimes stared at her when he tried to find something out.

"At one time, Ben showed me a vision right before he burned down Luke's Jedi temple. Leia, do you know why he did it back then?"  
Rey now asked as she looked back at the women next to her, seriously questioning if his mother even knew what exactly took place in the academy back then.

"Because Snoke tainted him since he was a child. And because he decided to do it as he reached for power and wouldn't accept Luke's teaching."  
Leia answered as the corners of her mouth turned downwards in hurt and disgust for her own son.

"Yes, that might also have been reasons, why he did it. But initially, it was because Luke tried to murder him in his sleep. I take it, Luke never truthfully told you about that night. Or why he had cut himself off from the force afterwards."  
Rey spat out, as she felt her rage building up about the vision she had back then and Ben's frightened expression, feelings of betrayal and fear written all over his face.

Leia inhaled sharply and Poe's mouth fell open but he closed it instantly and gritted out between his teeth: "Kylo Ren has surely been feeding you bantha-shit. Luke is a Jedi - a legend. Jedi do not kill others in their sleep. I can't believe you actually believed him!"

Rey pulled her head upwards and eyed Poe, then Leia as she answered: "He was not feeding me anything. He told the truth the whole time.  
It were real life memories he let me see back then. I confronted Luke about it and he even confessed, he said he felt the darkness in Ben growing and wanted to end him, to prevent his turn to the dark side.

With the act of trying to murder him in his sleep, he was exactly fulfilling what he thought would happen. Ben felt afraid, betrayed and defended himself against his former master's attack, burned down the temple in a fit of rage and lost belief in everything that he had been taught and was of course welcomed by Snoke with open arms afterwards. Luke was responsible for creating Kylo Ren and he was ashamed of it, so he cut himself off the force and hid on that island. He wanted to die there, because of his failure."

Leia looked down on her lap as she was near tears and finally mumbled out: "I never knew about this. Luke and I never talked afterwards.  
He immediately disappeared then. It took months for me to find out what might have happened."

"After finding out the truth about these events, seeing how Luke lied to everybody all these years I knew I had to do something. So I decided to go to Ben. I wanted to save him. I felt the light in him, from the moment he tried to interrogate me on Starkiller Base. He never hurt me and when we fought on the exploding planet, he even asked me back then to become his apprentice. Of course, I declined this, as I thought him to be a monster. Leia, I can assure you he is not and there is light left in him, but he keeps being betrayed by everyone and he's shutting everybody out over and over again to protect himself."

"I always knew he is not just _evil_. I always felt the light in him. But also so much darkness and rage." Leia commented as she brushed away a tear that slipped out.

"What happened afterwards? You did go to Kylo Ren...Ben and killed Snoke somehow?." Poe asked as he crossed his arms again.

"I reached the Supremacy and was immediately greeted by a whole squadron of stormtroopers and Ben. He didn't know that I would come to him, so he had to deliver me to Snoke of course after picking me up. I was in his throne room and Snoke tried to lure me to the dark side,  
then he tortured me to find out where Luke was and in the end ordered Ben to kill me when I refused to obey him. It was an extremely intense situation and I was sure Ben would comply his former master and kill me.

But there was a short moment where Snoke didn't pay enough attention while he pressed his apprentice to kill me, which Ben used to murder Snoke.  
This was not planned at all, even by him and he probably acted out of desperation in this situation. Afterwards, the pretorian guards attacked us instantly and we fought them off altogether. It was a gruesome fight and we barely managed to stay alive, but we did somehow."

Poe interrupted now: "WHAT? **He** killed Snoke? But it was his master! The damn leader of the First Order! I thought you killed him?  
What the...?"  
"No, he did it to protect me. I guess." Rey answered with a serious glance at the pilot.

"Why did he keep the attack on Crait going afterwards? He could have stopped it." Leia asked further pretty shocked from all these new information.

"Yes...That's what I thought too. I asked him to stop the attack immediately when we were alone after killing off the guards.  
He didn't, as he told me he wants to end it all. The Sith, the Jedi, The Resistance, The First Order. He thought that everybody was wrong and he wanted to set a new order throughout the galaxy. He even asked me to join him then. I refused. I didn't want to rule the galaxy the way he wanted. He started screaming at me and I thought he was going crazy at this moment. He was taking a path, I couldn't and didn't want to follow at all. The moment he asked me to join him...Stars...I just realise it now. I took Luke's lightsaber away from him to aid you immediately in your fight against the First Order.

But when I think about it right now...it might have looked like - like I tried to murder him after my refusal. He fought back and we broke the lightsaber in half and became unconscious from the extensive outburst of the force. When I woke up and realised you were still being attacked,  
I just checked if he was still alive and bolted away to help you. I...left him there. Alone. He must have felt so betrayed! Again. Stars. I might be the reason he was so enraged.

Then Luke also appeared on Crait, the uncle who tried to murder him years ago. I also know, he thought you were already dead before the attack on Crait, Leia. Maybe he wasn't aware you were still there. Just now I realise in what emotional state he must have been back then...Maker, he was burning inside! Of course, he was..." Rey explained while realization about his feelings back then hit her hard suddenly.

Leia's hands trembled now as she heard all of this from Rey and she flattened out her dress to calm herself. Then she looked up reproachfully and accused Rey:  
"Rey these are some extremely serious information you withheld all the time. So if we put all of this together, I take it you still have contact with my son? Did he acquire any information about us by now? Did he order the attack on our base too? Are we in immediate danger because of your connection?"

"Yes. We started having contact again weeks after the attack. I didn't know it was still possible as I thought we cut our connection off after the fight in the throne room.  
But obviously we didn't and he appeared to me when I was training. He tried to ignore me most of the time. There were some moments where I nearly heard vital information about the First Order when he was in a meeting once, but he managed to bolt out fast enough so I wouldn't hear anything useful.

We can't close the connection, once it's open. It does so by itself at some unknown time. It's about four weeks now since we started to talk again. Not much actually.  
He mostly tries to not talk to me. I do most of the talking. There was an assassination attempt on him in the meantime. He survived but was hurt.  
What you saw today - yes you are right - I didn't have a force vision. I saw Ben, he also was in a meeting with the First Order generals at the same time, as we had ours.  
General Hux informed him and the others about a spy within our allies on the planet we stayed before. Ben didn't leave the room or tried to hide the information from me.  
He intentionally stayed to let me hear everything. He even told me to leave afterwards.

Leia. Do you understand? Ben was the one who gave me this information which saved us all. I don't think he planned this either, but if he hadn't done this we would all be dead by now, destroyed by three Dreadnoughts and several hundred TIE-fighters which were sent to our base. He decided to let me know, so we could flee and survive.  
I think he is extremely conflicted about his position right now. He doesn't have any information about us, apart from that we were able to flee somewhere else. He doesn't know where we are. All information he has was acquired by the spy before."

Rey breathed out, feeling much better after telling everything, but at the same time felt fear crippling up her back as she didn't know how Leia and Poe will react to all of this.  
The whole room was silent for a long time, as everybody processed what Rey told them.

Finally, Leia talked again and her voice was loud and without emotion this time: "Rey. What you did is one of the worst acts of treachery I have ever experienced within the Resistance. You held contact with the enemy for months in the full knowledge your communication could take place at any given time, always in danger to reveal our position and pretty much everything about our organisation.

Not just any enemy, but the Leader of the First Order himself, Rey! The one who is responsible for the attack on Crait, for the death of thousands of people throughout the galaxy, the very person who is ordering all this destruction, this war, the one who could stop everything but doesn't! Who keeps on going, expanding the power the First Order already possesses over all these planets, forcing them to oblige, destroying everything the New Republic has built over the last decades! I can't believe you hid all of this right under our all noses! I can't believe you let him walk free after that fight in the throne room! You could have taken him as a prisoner easily but you walked away, giving him the chance to continue this reign of terror!"

Rey's eyes widened at these accusations and she felt like her breath got stuck in her throat. Was Leia right? Everything she said made sense.  
Did she betray everyone? Did she fail the galaxy?  
Was she responsible for everything by letting Ben stay alive? By not taking him prisoner? But Ben saved them today, didn't he?  
And he never tried to hurt her. Nobody else from the First Order would have done that, but Ben.

"But Leia...What would have happened, if he wouldn't be the Supreme Leader now? Who else would be running the First Order then?  
Probably General Hux or some other general. You know how he is! He would annihilate every planet who doesn't bow under his command. You know what Ben does right now? What I saw him doing the last time before he warned me about the upcoming attack? He signed and corrected declaration papers from planets who voluntarily joined the First Order. Lifting food market embargos and banning gun selling by the government.

I am one hundred percent sure General Hux wouldn't rule like that, but just built another Death Star or something and blast every planet off the chart which wouldn't obey him. Don't you have any kind of compassion for your son? Don't you see in what position he is right now?"  
Rey yelled obviously angry but also slightly helpless at the leader of the Resistance.

"Of course I have compassion for my son! But he shouldn't be in the position to lead the strongest military force, overthrowing the government and ruling the galaxy right now! He should be sitting in detention for what he did! It hurts to say this as a mother, but he is dangerous and he needs to be stopped! And you had the chance to do so several times, but decided against it!" Leia now also yelled back.

Poe looked shocked at Leia's outburst to Rey and stepped back a little as he put in: "But...I don't think Rey did this on purpose. She did what she felt was right at the moment. This doesn't sound like she wanted to impose a threat on us through this contact she had. After all, it even benefitted us in some way, saving us."  
Rey looked up at Poe with teary eyes, thankful that he was somehow supporting her right now, he looked back with a mix of confusion and pity.

"Yes, Rey did what her emotions told her to do, without seeing the greater picture of everything. It's exactly the same way Ben always acted, which only lead to destruction and death! Repulsive and not looking ahead of the things."  
Leia stood up now, hands on her hips and positioned herself in front of the bed she sat on before as she hissed in disappointment: "Rey, I need you to be locked up for now as your presence poses an immediate danger to the Resistance at this moment if Ben is able to find out where we are heading. You are not allowed to know where we are going and we need to find a way to suppress or better cut this connection between you two!"

Rey gasped now and felt her heart sink into her chest as she started feeling dizzy: "C...cu...cut the connection? You want me to cut the connection to Ben?"


	7. Chapter 7: Emotion

Rey was ordered to stay in her room while Poe had to watch her until they'd reach their new base. Leia left them alone and was out organising the upcoming relocation.  
The pilot stood inside her room at the door, legs crossed and watched over her with a pitiful expression, while she laid on her bed as both felt extremely uncomfortable about the roles they were forced to play right now, as Poe definitely didn't want to imprison Rey and she definitely didn't want to be some kind of prisoner.

"Poe...Do you hate me? Do you think I betrayed you?" Rey asked him after some time with a broken voice.  
The pilot who stared at the ceiling before now looked back to her and waited several seconds before he answered: "...No. I don't hate you and I don't think you betrayed us. Of course not. What you told us and lived through is rather complicated and in my opinion, you acted with your heart and made good decisions given the circumstances."

"With my heart? What do you mean by that? I acted how I felt it would be right, what would save Ben and bring balance to the galaxy." Rey answered a little irritated at his choice of words, as she glanced over at Poe.  
"You fell in love with him, didn't you?" The pilot asked as he smiled slightly with a knowing grin. Rey instantly shot up from her lying position and grabbed the blanket with both hands at her sides as she yelled: "I...WHAT? What? I DID NOT! Poe! He is our enemy! I would never...! NO! What the hell?"

"I heard how you talked about him, how you defended him against Leia and your face went completely red when I implied it. Even now it does. It's absolutely obvious."  
He smirked at her. She let herself plop down onto the bed again and stared at the ceiling in utter shock. She never thought about it like that. Wouldn't she know if she fell in love? She knew she was somehow drawn to him, but this was the doing of their force bond, wasn't it? And all these tingly feelings in her stomach were because of the sheer power of their force clashing against each other every time they met. And her deep want to save him came from the wish to bring back balance to the galaxy. So every questionable feeling towards him, where just sparks from their bond and the force. Weren't they?

And all the times her eyes lingered on his lips for too long, were because they looked so puffy every time he opened them. And his brown eyes were just really captivating while he seemed to be staring into her very soul. And his deep voice was sending shivers alongside her back and neck because it was so dark and alluring. And she wanted him to not suffer anymore, let alone fight him ever again and she also kind of felt alone when they weren't connected through their bond for several days.

Stars...maybe she really fell in love. Is this how it feels? She never did before. There were guys she had fancied on Jakku, but nothing serious as her life before on Jakku was mostly about surviving, not caring about other people. She never felt so deeply connected with somebody else than she did with Ben.

Tears started welling up in her eyes now, as realisation hit Rey hard. She pulled her hands up to her chest and felt her heartbeat against the ribcage as if she waited for her heart to answer all these questions rushing through her head, while she let out small sobs. Then she turned her head around to Poe who watched her a little "Stars..oe...I think I did. I never thought about it actually. How could this even happen? He is my...our worst enemy. I should hate him for everything he did! For what his First Order does.  
I should have told you about all of it before and prevented everything that had happened. Maker...What have I done?" Rey cried out in desperation and threw a pillow against the wall in anger.

Poe walked forward to her, with his palms raised in front of him to calm her down. "Rey! Shush. Don't guilt trip yourself right now. Seriously! It's not like you can decide for whom you develop feelings. These things just happen and you can't control them, okay? In your case, it's actually pretty much the worst guy in the whole galaxy to fall in love with, but you are connected to him anyways through this force bond thing you share. So this might mean something. A sign or whatever. Maybe it's good it is the way it is. Now it's up to you to decide how you'll handle this situation right now."

"Obviously it's not up to me to decide if I am being imprisoned or not and Leia plans on cutting this bond, which is in my opinion still a way to someday maybe create balance in the galaxy. So no, I don't feel like it's my decision how to handle this right now." Rey huffed petulantly and sat up again.

"Do you think Leia will tell everyone how I betrayed all of you and throw me out of the Resistance?" She asked as she looked at Poe with a pitiful face.  
"No, I am sure she won't. This would destabilize this newly formed group of rebels which is exactly the opposite of what we need right now.  
Also, you are some kind of, I don't know a new hope for the Resistance? Hey and - Leia likes you - like a daughter. You are important to her.  
I don't know how she is going to handle your imprisonment or how she is going to explain this to the others. And I seriously hope she is planning this 'imprisonment' just for a short period, everything else would be crazy. In my opinion, we should rather live with it, use it to our advantage and maybe you can even persuade your bad sith boy to do something good for once."p

"He is not 'my boy' Poe. And I think he is no sith." Rey snapped at the pilot, who just grinned back boldly.

"Do you think I should tell Finn and Rose about it? Maybe not this emotional whatever in my head, but about everything else? And can I ask you to not tell anybody about this conversation?" Rey asked as she stood up and walked through her room to get something to drink. She poured herself a glass of water and turned around to ask:  
"You want some too?" Poe nodded and held out his hand to take the glass from her after she poured him some too while the situation luckily became less stressful every passing minute

"Yeah, I think you should someday in the near future tell them. Finn might be extremely pissed. I mean Kylo Ren nearly killed him with that slash on his back on Starkiller Base. They deserve the truth. Especially Finn, he's your best friend. He told me some time ago that you were acting strangely and kept on looking at something which wasn't there. Now I totally understand what it was all about, Finn was worried for some time you are going crazy or something like that. And yeah, of course your secret is safe with me. Don't want us both to be thrown out!"

Poe explained while he sat himself down on the floor and sipped on his water. Rey walked over to her bed again and huffed as she also took a sip just before she was about to sit down. But right before she could, she felt the familiar humming again, the force flowing through her body. Her eyes widened and instantly she heard shots all around her as if they were next to her ear. Rey dropped her glass in surprise onto the floor, breaking it in many pieces as she saw Ben in the middle of a battle, twirling his red lightsaber around to deflect the shots coming at him.

Rey jumped back and yelled out a shocked: "Fuck!" As she had the feeling of standing in his line of sight. Ben turned around shortly after hearing her glass crash down on the floor but instantly ducked behind a wall as shots were incoming again in his direction. He just looked at her for a second, then suddenly turned his head around again and impaled an attacker who ran at him with a raised vibro-axe.

"I don't have time for this right now." He gritted out between slashes of his lightsaber with a wild glance, as she still heard and saw shots all around "Don't... don't get shot!" She mumbled out concerned as she backed off against the wall of the room to not be distracting him. He looked at her with a confused expression for a moment, then leapt forward while he slashed the back of a man, killing him instantly, who attacked him from the left.

Rey's stomach turned around as she saw him fighting and being attacked, hoping he wouldn't get hurt somehow.  
But of course, he was an incredibly good fighter and the attackers had absolutely no chance to even reach him, let alone hit him.

Poe now understood what was happening and looked at the point where Rey stared as he stood up and walked over to her to look at the same spot, trying to find out what she was seeing. "You are connected to him right now, aren't you?" he asked. Rey nodded as she kept on watching Ben fight his way through the never-ending lines of attackers. She didn't know against whom he was fighting, most of his enemies looked like some kind of merchants or soldiers and they attacked with blasters or electronic weapons. Ben was inside some kind of building with wide, white halls and big expensive looking rooms, who were currently being destroyed by the intense fight, but she couldn't make out what kind of building it was "What is he doing?" Poe whispered as he realised Rey was awfully quiet and didn't dare to move, so he did too.  
"Fighting against lots of people in a big building." Rey answered concentrated without leaving her eyes from Ben.

The fighting died down at this part of the hall as he had killed everyone and Ben turned around immediately to walk over in wide, fast steps to Rey and Poe as he eyed her with an angry gaze. He was sweaty, his hair clung to his face and he had small speckles of blood and grime on his face, probably from his enemies and not from himself.  
His lightsaber was still ignited and he stopped nearly nose to nose with Poe, who didn't flinch at all, because he didn't see him.  
"Dameron? Seriously?" He panted out angrily as he turned his head around to Rey with a questioning look. Rey stared up at him, then to Poe, then back to Ben, trying to understand why he was so pissed. Poe realised she looked elsewhere right now to some point which was really close and he backed off a step as he assumed the other man was now standing right in front of him

"I was forced to tell him - and your mother about our connection after last time we saw us. Leia instantly knew it was no force vision." Rey answered honestly as she watched him observe Poe with squinted eyes. "Can he hear and see me too right now?" Poe asked slightly excited. Rey nodded and threw a dark glance over at the pilot as she felt he is going to do something stupid. Of course, he did, as he raised both his fists and gloated: "Yo Kylo Ren. BB-8, the droid with the map to Skywalker told me to show you this when I would ever meet you again." Then he slid out both his middle fingers and held them in the direction of where the pilot thought Ben might stood right now.

"Stars...Poe!" Rey yelled out and smacked her forehead at his rude gesture. Ben just knitted his eyebrows together with a face of disgust for the pilot and turned around as he kept walking through the now empty hall to another room, trying to ignore both. But after some seconds, he just mumbled: "Laser brain..." and looked around, ignited lightsaber in his right hand while Rey could just see his his black cape. She snorted at that insult and held her hand in front of her mouth to not laugh out "What's so funny?" Poe asked slightly confused as he couldn't see anything except for her empty room. Rey whispered: "He called you a laser brain."  
"Pff. Nice insult _magic stick boy_!" Poe retorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest, slightly amused as it didn't sound like a threatening situation for any of them right now.

Stormtroopers now entered the hall and reported Ben that all the other rooms were cleared out too and they would be ready to pass on to the next floor.  
"Divert into four divisions, approach from two sides through doors three and eight, cavalry first, ranged troopers flanking from behind. Blasters on stun again, there might be hostages upstairs." Ben ordered as the troopers stormed out the room again on his command.

"So I guess my mother ordered a babysitter and wants you to destroy the bond?" Ben commented bitterly more as a statement than a question as he walked upstairs alone without looking at her. "How'd you know?" Rey asked him with surprise written all over her face. "Because I know how she reacts to such things. Eliminate any signs of disloyalty or different approaches than her idea of handling such situations." He hissed out through gritted teeth as he kept walking up the stairs which were by now littered with dirt and small stones, as well pieces of the surrounding walls which made it look like like a grenade exploded in the hallway before.

"Maybe it's better like that, we're always at risk to give out important information from our side." Rey pondered but instantly felt her chest tighten the moment she had spoken that thought out aloud. He didn't answer at first and she still just saw his back as he walked up these seemingly never-ending steps. "Ok." He just answered flatly, without looking at her.

"I don't know what's...OH FUCK STOP! STOP RIGHT THERE!" Rey screamed suddenly highly alerted at him. He instantly took a surprised halt and was about to move his upper body around, when Rey screamed in absolute terror again at him: "DON'T YOU FUCKING MOVE NOW! KEEP YOUR FEET EXACTLY LIKE THAT! PLEASE! YOU STEPPED ON A MINE! DO NOT MOVE YOUR FEET!"

Ben held his arms out awkwardly next to his body to manage balance and looked down at his feet without moving too much. He mouthed a dumbfounded "Oh." as he kneeled down a little to inspect the mine under his right foot which was placed between stones and ripped, old wallpaper which hid it pretty well. "Stars, stop moving please!" Rey said with a concerned voice as she walked over and kneeled down too in front of him.

"He stepped on a mine? Seriously? This would be a rather unspectacular death for the Supreme Leader of the First Order actually." Poe commented with a slight grin on his face as he walked over to Rey. Ben scoffed and carefully pulled the stones and paper around the mine away, so he could see it better, while he sent a short message to his troopers to look out for hidden mines and explosives.

"Ben, please don't do any rash movements. Do you see which model it is?" Rey asked concerned while she tried to get a look at it. He let his finger slide alongside the mine to the point where his boot stood on it, then brushed off some dirt from the side. "No. It's an ion mine for sure. But I can't see the model number." He answered as he pulled off his gloves to keep on sliding his now ungloved finger over the surface of the mine.

"Uhm...Poe it's an ion mine, actually about this big." Rey gestured both her hands to Poe, motioning the size of it with her fingers. "Ben can't see the model number, it has a grey surface, a black edge, is round and about one inch high. Do you have any idea which one it could be?" Rey asked Poe with pleading eyes, hoping he would help somehow.

"Maker...Am I really helping this guy now? Shouldn't force users be able to feel something like this before they step on it? Phew...Ok - Okay whatever. So it sounds like it's either a model A-44369 series, or the A-4468, but there is the slight chance it could also be C-3879, where he could start writing his last will now, because this one can't be defused and has an immediate blast radius of about one hundred feet." Poe answered as he put his hand on his chin as he pondered about it.

"Uhm...Ok. So how do you find out which one it is?" Rey asked in disbelief, while she looked back at Ben who still cleaned the mine with his fingers to find any hint, about the model. "If he can't see the number, there should be small straight elevations on the side somewhere. Are there any?" Poe asked Rey, but the question was actually directed at Ben. He slid his finger as much as he was able to around the mine again and stopped right under the sole of his boot. "Yes. Two...or maybe three. It's hard to make out.  
I can't feel if the last one is an elevation or a flaw in the metal." Ben answered as he squeezed his eyes together in concentration.

"Ben says it's three or two, but he can't say exactly as it is not clear at one spot if it's an elevation or a flaw in the metal." Rey repeated to Poe.  
"Oh okay. So at least we have just the A models. Which is better, than the C one. Ok, so one will explode right the second he'd lift his foot, the other one will explode about two seconds after lifting the foot. Both their radius is not as big as the C model, but enough to kill or cripple. If it's the A-44369 model, which has three elevations he can try kicking it away as far as possible as it will take two seconds until it explodes. The other one can be defused, which is extremely hard and takes a skilled expert in defusing bombs." The pilot explained to both, even when he just saw one of them.

"Great." Ben frowned as he again tried to feel for the elevations which were described before, he also couldn't bow down and twist himself enough to look under his boot as he had to move then, so he wasn't able to look at it fully. "Wait a second, I've got an idea!" Rey said as she instantly laid flat on the floor on her stomach and pushed herself a little forward into his direction. "Can you ignite your lightsaber and hold it next to the ion mine? It's too dark to see enough." She asked as she looked up at him.  
He knitted his eyebrows together but pulled out his lightsaber to ignite it next to his boot. It shone brightly in red near her face and she flinched slightly as it was so close, even if she knew that it couldn't hurt her right now. It felt as close as it was on Takodana.

"Like this?" He asked as he watched her crawl even closer while laying on her side. "Yeah, I see them. You are right, it's hard to make out if the third is a flaw or an elevation. Stars, who built this shit?" Then she stretched her finger out as she tried to touch it, but of course, her finger went right through it. "If I could just touch it too, I'd maybe be able to feel it more than you do. My hands are trained for stuff like this from my former line of work on Jakku." Rey huffed out as she wasn't able to make it out just by looking at it.

"Well, that sounded really awkward now Rey." Poe commented as he laughed a bit. Her face went all red at that as she realised how it sounded and groaned in annoyance while she looked at Ben who glanced back at her and then at Poe in "Is this guy just now hitting puberty or what?" Ben hissed out as he nodded upwards at Poe.  
Rey snorted a little at that and looked back at the pilot as she repeated: "He asked if you are going through puberty right now."p

Poe huffed out and said into Ben's direction: "Yeah, well fuck you too."  
Ben suddenly took Rey's hand into his and she inhaled sharply from the contact as it instantly sent waves of the force and this nice tingling feeling through her whole body. "Let me try something." He said as he put her hand between both of his palms and closed his eyes to concentrate. "Ok..." She answered as she interestedly watched him and felt the warmth around her skin from his ungloved hands.

"What is he doing now?" Poe interrupted as he saw that she was holding out her hand awkwardly in the air. "Shhsh!" Rey shushed him. The pilot shut up instantly and Rey's gaze fell back onto Ben's face. She realized his hair was getting a little wavy on the ends when it was wet, if it was from blood or sweat, she didn't know exactly but she had the urge to touch these silky dark waves of hair. She gulped down and her eyes instantly went back to his concentrated face as she was getting red slightly by realising what she just thought. He opened his eyes then and searched hers, as she felt a wave of the force flow through her hand which burned but in some kind of pleasant way without hurting. It was somehow the way it feels when someone has a really cold hand from freezing temperatures outside and holds it over a fire to warm them up.

"What are you doing Ben?" Rey whispered in a hushed voice as she was so close, she could feel his breath on her hair, which made her shiver. "I'm letting my force flow through your hand." Then he pulled her hand carefully downwards to the floor in front of him and breathed out: "Here." At the moment her palm touched the stones which lay around him. Rey gasped at the dusty feeling of the stones and pebbles in front of Ben. "Maker...Ben. Wow. This is new. Wow..." She stuttered out as she was pretty overwhelmed by this extension of their force.

"Didn't know if this would work." He commented as he looked at her with the smallest smile on his lips. Maker this damn, rare smile. Rey was already lost in it. Even if it was just hinted at one corner of his mouth, not a full smile but it was alluring as hell and she felt her heart speeding up. Ben also looked at her for a little too long, until he carefully guided her hand down to the mine, to the place where he felt the elevations.

She stretched her index finger out and brushed it over the metallic surface several times. Also with her thumb and again with her index finger. Then she rubbed it, to see if anything would come loose, which didn't happen. "Ok. I am ninety-nine percent sure, this has three elevations. The third one is a bit crooked, but it's too similar to the others to be just a flaw. One corner must have broken off on the upper part, which makes it hard to feel." Rey explained as she smiled at Ben because it meant, he could kick the mine away and escape unhurt.

He pulled her hand away from the mine but didn't let go as he brought it slowly up to his mouth and planted a small kiss on her fingers, as he mumbled a relieved: "Thanks." against her skin which let goosebumps appear all over her arm when she felt his soft lips and his breath brush over this rather sensitive part of her body.  
She inhaled sharply at this sudden gesture of closeness, held her breath and was about to whimper out as this experience felt so intense right now.  
Did he seriously just kiss her fingers? She couldn't believe this at all and her mouth fell slightly open as she breathed out erratically.  
But he already let go of her hand again and stood up, without moving his feet. She pulled her hand away too and backed off against a wall, still feeling a little dizzy from what he did right now.

He bent his knees slightly now and Rey's heart nearly stopped while she held her breath and hoped she was right. He pulled up his foot and kicked the mine away, down the stairs while pushing it even further away with the force too. Two seconds later it exploded downstairs and a huge shockwave emitted through the walls as dust flew everywhere through the hallway. Ben braced himself with arms over his eyes, to not get shrapnel or dust into them and ducked down slightly, while mumbling a: "...the shit?" Right after the explosion. When everything was quiet again he brushed off his clothes and ruffled through his hair with one hand to get all the dust out as he went upstairs again.

The hair ruffling thing made Rey suddenly extremely nervous and she shifted her weight a little from left to right as she felt like she couldn't stand still suddenly for unknown reasons. So she turned around to Poe and explained: "It was actually an A-44369 model as you said and it exploded after two seconds when he kicked it away."

"Man shit. So I am responsible that he didn't explode with it right away? Maker...What did I do? Pff. You know what Kylo Ren? Consider this as a thank you, for letting slip some information last time. Now, I hope you'll get shot or something."

"Poe!" Rey yelled out at him now and crossed her arms in front of the chest with a frown on her face. Ben finally reached the end of the stairs while he pulled a hand out to show them a half-assed thumbs up. Rey snorted at that and Poe asked why she was laughing until she answered: "He gave you a thumbs up."

Ben went through a big door and reached a huge office, with golden ornaments on the walls, expensive paintings and statues. He grabbed his lightsaber and attached it to his belt while he went to the big wooden desk in the middle of the room. His boots clicked loudly on the marble floor as he walked. Ben bowed over the table as he dug through several papers which laid on top of the desk. Then he opened some drawers and searched them, but obviously didn't find what he was looking for.

"What are you doing? Where are you?" Rey asked finally but didn't know if he'd answer as it would give away pretty much all of his current mission. He went over to the wall behind the desk and ripped down some expensive looking paintings which he rudely threw onto the floor. Behind one, there was a hidden safe, which he now started to carefully cut open with his lightsaber he had pulled out from his belt again

"I am in the capital of Devaron and we raided the government building, killed off most of the warlords, their corrupt governors and bodyguards and are now searching for the official papers about business relationships to other planets, as well as people from illegal slave trades who are forced to work here." Then the heavy safe door fell off as Ben had cut through it and it revealed lots of gold, crystals, diamonds and piles of papers as well as holopads. Ben ignored all the treasures and pulled out the paper which he instantly browsed through.

Then he added while reading them: "Which I found exactly here." He smiled slightly satisfied as he stopped at one paper. Rey took some steps forward and positioned herself next to him as she saw a long list of expensive wares and people in his hands, their quantity and prices right under the names of buyers and sellers.

"Oh. Ok. I didn't think you'd answer that. I also didn't know you'd be out doing missions like this. Doesn't seem very First Order like to me."  
Rey answered surprised at what he told and showed her. Ben turned his head to her and took a step forward as he let the papers down. "Maybe you don't know about a lot of things regarding me or the order." He rasped with a deep voice while his eyes bored into hers as if he tried to tell her something. Her eyes widened and she gulped down as she stared back at his dark brown eyes. Rey opened her mouth slightly to say something and his eyes wandered downwards to her lips where they lingered for a second until they went up again to meet hers as he blinked two times and suddenly pressed his lips together to a small line like he tried to concentrate again.

The feeling of their force connection ended and he was gone. Rey stood dumbfounded in the room together with Poe and let out a long shaky breath while her shoulders fell down as she just now realised how tense and nervous she was these last seconds. What was he doing to her? All these sudden strong feelings are too overwhelming and she seriously didn't know how to handle them.

"What did he tell you? Is he still there? You've got a strange look on your face." Poe now stepped forward and looked at her. Rey had to blink several times to come back to reality as she turned around to the pilot to answer: "The connection is gone, I can't see him anymore. He was on Daveron and raided a government building inside of the capital. He and his stormtroopers killed warlords and governors and searched for purchasing contracts between them and other planets, which they found. The governors bought and sold extremely expensive goods and slaves with state funds it seems."

"Oh ehm...wow okay. I heard of Devaron having problems. Didn't know it had these kinds of problems. Okay. That's not at all what I expected the First Order to do. Are they trying to become the goodies now, or what?" Poe commented as he took his glass of water again and let himself plop down on Rey's bed while he rubbed his head in confusion. Rey sat down next to him and leaned against the wall behind her. "Me neither Poe. Thank you for helping him. I mean it. This was really nice of you. Aaaand you are nearly as guilty as I am right now." Rey grinned with mischief as she jokingly punched Poe's arm.

"I already did worse things than this when you were gone Rey..." Poe smiled back and winked at her.


	8. Chapter 8: Sleep

It was the third day of Rey's 'imprisonment', even if she could just bolt out any second if she'd seriously wanted to.  
But she didn't, as she wanted to prove to Leia and the Resistance that she was indeed not a traitor or wanted to betray anybody but just did what she felt was right.  
She was ordered to stay in her room on the Millenium Falcon with a locked door, while someone was guarding her outside so she wouldn't be able to see on which planet they stayed right now. She didn't have any idea of how long it would be like that, but she was already on the verge of going crazy from being in this small room the whole time. She felt alone, restless, guilty and was in need of sunshine and fresh air, not this unnatural lighting from inside the ship.

Ben's words still rung in her ears: "So my mother ordered a babysitter..." Was what he commented last time when he saw Poe in her room.  
Actually, he was right and she felt exactly like that, like a child being grounded for doing some kind of mischief to be watched by a babysitter,  
so she doesn't run away.  
In the span of these three days, she mostly kept to physical training exercises as well as meditating to keep herself busy. She didn't hear any word from Leia,  
but Poe informed her at least that they were working on it and there would soon be a decision coming up regarding her imprisonment.

On the third day, Finn was finally allowed to visit and they embraced for a long time before talking.  
After their emotional reunion, Rey told him everything she told Leia some days ago, but with much more interruptions as Finn wasn't able to calm his temper like the general did. When Rey was in the middle of telling him, that Ben and she started having contact again after the battle of Crait, he totally flipped out and started screaming at her, ordering her to cut their connection and accused her of giving out information to the man who nearly killed him, Rose and everybody else.  
After he yelled at her for solid ten minutes he stood up and stomped out the door as he said: "I don't want to see your face ever again!"

Rey listened helplessly to every single one of his accusation without interrupting him to the point where he angrily left her room, leaving her speechless.  
That's when the whole world seemed to crush down, her best friend didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore, she was still imprisoned in this damn room, not knowing what was going on outside the whole time, Leia probably hated her too. Everything was in ruins.

Everything felt absolutely horrible, so she let herself fall down on her bed and started crying and sobbing like she never did before in her life, at least not as an adult.  
She laid on her stomach as both arms held the tear-stained pillow under her head while one leg dangled from the edge of the bed as she kept on weeping into the fabric. Of course, the humming started at this particular moment and she felt the force tugging at her as the connection opened once again.  
She couldn't stand it, so her sobbing grew more erratic and fresh tears stained her cheeks while she slowly turned her shivering body around to face the wall,  
as she certainly was not in the mood to see the reason for all that misery she was in right now.

Minutes went by in silence as she wept into her pillow, she knew Ben was somewhere behind her but didn't know what he did, or where he was right now,  
or if he watched her. She also didn't hear anything from him, so he was probably alone and didn't move around.  
She kept on sobbing, hoping the connection would just cease after some time by itself so she doesn't have to deal with it today.

After some time Rey heard him mumbling: "I can't sleep like this."  
"That's your problem..." Rey hissed out annoyed, but her chest immediately tightened guiltily after saying this and she bawled into her pillow as she thought she was being mean for no reason.  
She heard some shifting behind her and suddenly a pillow flew right over her head through the wall like a hologram and she flinched together in surprise as she saw it vanish somewhere, probably in his room.

Rey shifted under her blanket now and turned around to face him with a reproachful look. Ben was laying in his own bed also on his stomach, messy dark hair was tangled all around his face as he glared at her with one eye open, the other one covered by his hand which rested against his cheek. He looked grumpy, tired and his mouth was pulled downwards to a frown. He wore a sleeveless black shirt and was only half covered by his blanket and his room was mostly dark, but she could see his form anyway.  
Her room was dark too, as she had turned down the light after some time before the connection started, hoping she would be able to sleep somehow.  
This made it nearly look like Ben and she were in the same room as it was hard to distinguish between where each of their rooms ended and started in the darkness.

"Finally." He huffed out as he closed his eyes.  
"Finally what?" She asked angrily with knitted brows.

"Finally you stopped crying." He mumbled out with still closed eyes.  
She frowned and just wanted to protest how rude he was right now, but while rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand which was tugged under his cheek before,  
he was faster and asked with a slightly sleepy voice: "Why were you crying anyway?"

Rey didn't answer right away. She didn't know if she should even talk to him anymore, as everybody seemed to hate her because she was doing exactly that.  
When he tugged his hand away from his face and placed it under his cheek again, he opened his eyes and searched hers, which were red and puffy from all the crying as he waited patiently for an answer.

"I cried because of _this_." She breathed out, as her eyes stared into his.  
His eyebrows contracted slightly, but he didn't move. "The connection?" He asked.  
"Yes." She whispered back.  
"You want to severe it?" He asked with a raspy voice.

She waited several seconds before answering while shifting around a little more to better face him. She had never seen him like this. He seemed so vulnerable lying there in his bed like an ordinary human being in his sleeping clothes with these bedroom eyes, not at all like this force wielding dark side user who is by chance also the leader of the First Order, so in short - her arch enemy.

"I should." She just mouthed really silently but felt her heart flutter hurtfully the moment she said it.  
"I asked what you want, not what others say you should." He reminded her with a pressing voice, which was not aggressive but more soothing than she expected.  
She inhaled sharply at this direct question which was indicated to her emotional state, not to her surrounding situation. Obviously, he learned his lesson about not pressing her into any decisions as he did it back in the throne room.

Again she took her time to talk while their glances were fixed onto one another. Both searched for answers in each other's eyes as they darted back and forth between them. The tension was growing strong and the air felt thick with unspoken emotions which laid heavily between them both.  
"No. I want that bond. It feels...right to me." She answered with a shaky, quiet voice as tears welled up again because she was scared to say what she just confessed.

He didn't say anything but turned around on his back to stare at the ceiling while he placed his palms on his upper stomach and intertwined his fingers as if he was thinking about something. "Do you want to severe it?" She asked him back now, unsure of his answer.  
Ben also took some seconds before he turned his head around to her and plainly answered: "No."

Her heart skipped a beat and Rey inhaled sharply by his answer as she somehow felt they both just confessed they had some kind of emotional attachment to each other, which was not just about spying on their factions, but more so over just about both of them and their feelings. He stared at her from the side and looked equally flustered as she was, as his chest heaved up and down faster than it usually does.  
"Why don't you leave the Resistance when you are forced to do things you don't want to?" He suddenly asked.

Her eyes widened and she also turned around on her back now to look at the ceiling.  
"Because I have friends here whom I love and because it's the right thing to do." She answered honestly.  
"Being imprisoned, forced to cut your connection and being accused of treachery by everybody, even by your friends, feels like the right thing to do for you?"  
Ben asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"You read my mind, didn't you?" Rey asked as she pulled herself up and leaned on her elbow.  
"Partly." He answered boldly.  
Rey sat up on her bed and placed both hands next to her thighs as they gripped her sheets until she explained:  
"Ben, I know where you are trying to guide this conversation. I can not and will not join you. Please. You have to understand this. I am not like you and can 'let the past die'. I let my past die when I finally left this damn desert planet Jakku, where I lived all alone my whole life. Finally, I found people who care about me - friends, who gave me something to fight for. I can't just let them down and waltz into the First Order with you to rule the galaxy. I don't want to rule a galaxy. I just want it to be in balance. To not be at war, but bring back peace."

"This is why you have not taken my hand in the throne room? Because you don't want to rule a galaxy? Because you are scared of leadership? Of responsibilities?" Ben asked as his eyes bored into hers.  
Rey stood up and walked slowly over to him to kneel down next to his bed. He shifted a little to the side and observed her, but didn't change his position much.  
She pulled one slightly trembling hand up and placed it flatly on his entwined fingers which laid on his chest.  
"Ben, I would have taken your hand under every other circumstance. Always. But not to rule. Not to command others. I am even taking it right now."

He instantly flinched when Rey touched him and she heard him hold his breath for some seconds. His eyes were fixed on hers and his right hand moved up a little as he let go of his own fingers, to entwine them with hers. The contact felt intense as heat shot through her whole body and his emotions flooded to her very core.  
Silent tears escaped her as she saw he was feeling about her the same way she did about him and she opened her mouth slightly as salty tears slid over her trembling lips. Ben also felt her emotions and she could feel his rapid heartbeat under their interlocked fingers pumping against his ribcage.  
His breathing grew a little faster and he pressed his lips together to a straight line as they both saw the vision again, they saw when they first touched hands on  
Ahch-To. The vision which showed them standing together, side by side bringing balance to the galaxy. It was still there and they were still able to fulfil it. It never was a vision about their fight in the throne room, but about something else in the future.

Ben let go of her hand and torturingly slow traced his thumb over her wrist, then further up over the skin by the crook of her arm where he drew small circles on it.  
Then it went even further up to her upper arm, where he changed it from just using a thumb to gliding on with his palm pressed against her skin. It was extremely warm and she felt like he was burning her skin but in such a pleasant way. It was just like walking barefoot through sand of the hot, orange dunes back on Jakku. Where the sand was pleasantly warm between her toes, but seconds away from burning her skin if she stayed too long in one place.

After some time he reached her neck which he gripped oh so gently while she closed her eyes and enjoyed his electrifying touch every second.  
With eyes closed, she didn't know what he'd do next, which made it even more exciting as her heart was racing against her chest.  
His hand wandered upwards from her neck to trail her jawbone, which made her whimper quietly because it sent shivers down her whole body and she pressed her thighs together as she felt something building up inside her, which she didn't want to admit yet.  
When his thumb reached up to brush over her slightly opened bottom lip she nearly lost it and her eyes fluttered opened as Rey stared at him with a mix of lust, excitement but also fear for what it will mean if they go any further.

His hand lingered a little longer on her jaw and his thumb on her lip as he gazed into her eyes with such an intent, she didn't know if he would jump her right now, right there or if he felt just as excited as she was. Eventually, he pulled his hand away and laid it back on his chest as the hint of a smile appeared on his lips.  
"This feels really intense." He remarked with a raspy voice as he studied her face.

"Yes. It absolutely does." Rey breathed out as she felt slightly dizzy from his touch.  
"Can I...Can I stay here? Until the connection breaks again?" She asked as she pulled both her hands into her lap and waited for him to answer.  
"What? Where?" Kylo asked as he turned to the side and propped himself up on his elbow while to face her.  
"Next to the bed, by your side." She answered as her face turned slightly red.  
"Yes." He exhaled a little shaky.

"You can sleep if you want. I won't cry again." Rey suggested.  
"So you can watch me? No!" Ben objected.  
"If I remember correctly you did this on Starkiller Base when I was still asleep. Remember?" She asked as a smile played alongside her lips.  
Ben snorted a little and rubbed his fingers over the scar on his face. "Yes, I did. Because I didn't understand you."  
"What about me?" She asked a little perplexed now.  
"I felt the force flowing through you strongly. But there was something else too. It tucked at the back of my head, something that connected us and I just couldn't get a grip on it what it was. When I saw your confused glance, I knew you felt it too at this very moment." He explained.  
"That's what you meant back then? When you told me to not be afraid?" She asked now in near disbelief with widened eyes.  
He nodded with a serious glance and blinked several times as if he tried to remember exactly what happened on this day.

Rey did too and her eyes fell on the scar he rubbed just several seconds ago.  
"Did it hurt badly when I did this to you?" She asked as she pulled her hand up to shakily reach for his face. Rey hesitated a moment before she touched him, unsure of how he'd react or if he even allowed it. But he did nothing except for closing his eyes the moment her hand touched his skin.  
As she trailed down the uneven but healed skin of his scar with her thumb his mouth opened slightly as he inhaled really long and low.  
"Yes, it did. But not as much as Chewbacca's bowcaster." He answered truthfully as her hand has reached his cheek and he opened his eyes again to watch her.  
"It kind of fits you actually! I think it's beautiful." Rey complimented him, but her expression instantly grew serious again.  
"I am...I am sorry I did that to you." She then apologized with guilt in her voice.

"Don't apologize. It's war. We fought. Such things happen when you use weapons against each other." He reassured her, but then changed his tone.  
"There is one thing I never understood: Why did you not kill me back then? Or in the throne room? You had the chance both times."  
He asked as he leaned slightly forward and searched her eyes while her hand was still on his cheek and trailed slowly down his neck.  
"Did you ever truly try to kill me?" She asked, as her hand stayed still on his skin, expecting his answer.  
He waited some seconds before he answered as he closed his eyes and slightly leaned into her hand. "No." He breathed out.

"See? I felt this somehow. I felt you never had the intent to do so and I too never did. Even if you accused me of wanting to. Which was by the way wrong.  
I just wanted to hurt you really bad after all you've done. But killing you? No. Actually not." She smiled back at him.  
He opened his eyes again and softly pressed his cheek against the back of her hand whilst he obviously enjoyed this peaceful moment between them, judging by the small grin which formed on his lips.  
There was something behind his smile, which made him look like a young boy, a child even, but it was not a happy, carefree smile. It was spiked with guilt, loneliness and fear for trusting other people, especially on this deep emotional level he was starting to dip in with Rey since some time.  
His hand was so warm and Rey felt her heart nearly exploding out of her chest under his smile and this closeness they had right now.

She thought she could just sit like that forever, watching him, while cradling his cheek in her hands, thumb slowly caressing his skin as she gets lost in his deep, dark brown eyes. Whatever they were doing at this moment, felt so right, so peaceful and detached from the whole conflict surrounding them, Rey's heart bloomed in thousand different colours as she felt his beating in the same rhythm as hers.

But of course, the connection ended exactly at this moment and the nice warm feeling under her palm was gone as well as the man who is turning her whole world upside down since she met him.

With a sigh, she went back to her own bed and fell asleep after several seconds with the biggest grin on her face.


	9. Chapter 9: Fight

It was now several days ago, that Rey had this intense and insightful conversation with Ben at night and she had to think about it every now and then which distracted her greatly. Her heart rate would instantly increase and she would space out slightly whilst remembering how gentle he trailed his fingers up her arm,  
to her jaw, her mouth and how they shared this vision again, bringing balance to the galaxy whilst standing side by side as equals.  
Just when she thought about it again, her skin started to tingle where his fingertips had touched her and she had to hold back not to grin like an idiot out of nowhere.  
Oh, how right Poe was about everything he had observed when they talked the last time. Just now she started to realize how damn right he was.

On the fourth day, Leia visited Rey in her 'prison' in the Falcon and explained to her that she would finally be allowed to roam freely and go on missions again.  
But every Resistance member was informed that Rey allegedly fell victim to Kylo Ren's manipulation through her mind, showing her visions to lure her to the dark side and that he had the ability to spy on her through mind probing. Leia didn't want to send her away because she cared for her and because Rey was such a strong ally and a spark of hope for everyone who believed in the force. If he should be 'invading her mind' again, she was forced to tell everyone and leave the room to a safer spot, to not endanger the others.

Rey protested vehemently against this version of the story because it put Ben even more into the wrong light of him being the manic, evil ruler they needed to defeat by all means. She even considered leaving the Resistance at that point, as she had problems to keep this story up, victimizing herself like that was not something she liked to do at all and also, she didn't see Ben as an evil overlord, even when she wouldn't tell Leia everything about them, because she was sure she would be thrown out of the Resistance in an instant, or put into a real prison then.  
So she somehow had no other choice, but to go with this story if she wanted to stay with her friends and fight for peace in the galaxy.

Of course, Finn, Poe and Rose knew the true story and were forced to shut up about it. Finn ignored her anyways, to Rose, she hadn't talked yet, but she probably ignored her too out of solidarity and Poe tried to cheer her up by letting her help him fix his starfighter in the hangar. By now the hangar was filled with lots of starships again, as they luckily found a pretty rich supporter who paid for all these new ships after he heard about their near obliteration on Crait.

Poe told her about an upcoming mission, where they knew through intel that there will be an attack on the planet Kessel by a First Order fleet.  
The Resistance planned to interrupt the incoming attack and protect the local residents.

Rey was all hyped about the mission and instantly asked for permission to join them, as she really needed to do something which didn't involve being imprisoned or working on ships or fleeing from their base day in and out.  
Leia was absolutely sceptical and feared Rey could accidentally warn the First Order about their planned interruption, but as it was a short way per lightspeed to the planet, there wasn't much time between starting the mission and reaching the destination, so the First Order would know pretty fast anyway when they'd be there. Also, Leia needed every pilot available as they by far hadn't reached their original number of people, they were once before the attack on their D'Qar.  
After a long discussion, Rey was finally able to persuade the general to be allowed to assist in the mission on Kessel and she readied the Millenium Falcon together with Chewbacca and Poe for departure. Poe was her copilot, whilst Chewie positioned himself in the gunner's seat.

About forty Resistance starfighters descended into the air and jumped to lightspeed, they reached their destination after about two hours travel.  
There were already five Star Destroyers approaching the planet as well as several TIE-fighters which surrounded them when they jumped out of lightspeed and the space battle immediately began.  
The explosions of the TIE-fighters which were shot down were abnormally huge and they soon realized they carried some kind of bombs with them.  
Poe was leading the attack and was talking to the other Resistance members while he steered the Falcon together with Rey.  
"Black leader to all: The TIE-fighters seem to carry some sorts of bombs with them. They don't plan on taking over the planet, but carpet bomb it! Concentrate on the fighters, not the Star Destroyers! We have to fend them off by all means!" He screamed into his commlink while flying risky maneuvres to avoid the cannons.

Rey was absolutely concentrated and was able to manoeuvre around several attacks by other ships and the Star Destroyer, while Chewbacca shot down at least five  
TIE-fighters which exploded into big white light beams together with said bombs.  
While she was in full action mode she felt this slight tickle on the back of her head, the warmth, this familiar feeling of the force connecting her and Ben, which was by far the worst time ever in the whole galaxy when this could be happening right now.  
She instantly searched around to find out where he was, but couldn't see him. Poe asked her what's up, as she seemed to be distracted so she just yelled out:  
"It's Ben!"

"Seriously? NOW? This is like really the worst time for it!" Poe screamed as his expression became slightly panicked.  
"Is he in here or what and see's us flying?" He asked.  
"I can't see him anywhere!" Rey cursed as she frantically looked around the Falcon, to find out where he could be.

The moment she looked out of the window again to concentrate on the fight in front of them, she understood why she couldn't see Ben anywhere. They didn't connect via the force somewhere across the galaxy. No, but he was here. Right there, fighting against the Resistance in his black TIE-silencer. She knew that the moment his TIE-fighter shot directly along the Millenium Falcon with a whistling sound to chase two X-wings, which were attacking one TIE-bomber.  
She felt his force signature instantly and knew, they didn't connect as they'd usually do, but she felt him because he was right there on the battlefield with them.

While they were flying in wild zig-zag lines to avoid being shot down themselves Poe yelled out: "Fuck, wasn't that Kylo Ren's TIE-silencer?"  
"Yup. That's what I felt. He's not in here, he's out there." Rey huffed out in anger and pointed at the battle in front.  
"Ok, let's not get distracted by it, but keep on shooting down these other TIE-fighters. If he attacks, we also shoot him down." Poe commanded.  
"...Ok." Rey answered after a while hesitantly, hoping with all her might this moment will never occur.

There were ships swooshing left, right, above and under them everywhere, whilst they had to avoid these big cannon shots from the Star Destroyer.  
They evaded several TIE-fighters as they were chasing one with an attached bomb while Chewbacca tried to target it.  
There was a white explosion as one laser beam hit the fighter and Chewie growled in triumph, while Poe yelled over his back: "Great shot furball!"  
"There's another one! Look under it, you can see the explosives!" Rey exclaimed as she pointed to it. Poe and she instantly took on to chase it, while he ordered his squadron:  
"Black leader to all: The TIE-fighters with the bombs look slightly different, they've got an attachment for the explosives underneath. Focus on them!  
Ignore the others if possible!"

They shot forward and followed the ship Rey pointed to, while Chewie targeted it. Again Rey felt the force coming in waves to her and she knew Kylo was flying in their direction. "Shit he's behind us!" Poe hissed out as Rey and he pulled the Falcon in another direction, away from their original target to get away from Kylo Ren who instantly started shooting at them.  
Rey was suddenly surprised and also angry, as she somehow thought or even hoped, he wouldn't attack them after all they experienced together these last days.  
But he did and she thought about what he said last time they met: _Its war. Such things happen when you are using weapons against each other.  
_  
He followed them with his TIE-silencer and every time they tried to break out from his constant stream of laser beams at them, he changed his course and attacked them from the other side. It seemed like he always already knew where they tried to flee, as he took a sharp turn every time they tried to shake him off just to be right behind them again. The moment Poe started to complain about how the hell he was able to foresee all of their risky moves, Rey realised they were chased pretty far away from the main area of the battle and he was pursuing them all alone now.  
"As good as he is as a pilot, as bad he is at shooting. He didn't hit us once!" Poe yelled out in triumph, laughing out loud while he and Rey again maneuvred the ship out of shooting range from the silencer as they tried to get back to the battle again.

"Maybe because he doesn't want to?" Rey muttered questioningly as she had a feeling there was a reason Kylo was chasing them so far away from the battlefield.  
Suddenly Kylo stopped shooting at them and slowed down his fighter, which Rey and Poe instantly used to turn their X-wing around to dart back to the other ships.  
But at this moment Kylo Ren accelerated fully, overhauled them, turned around his silencer right before them in midflight to face them just several feet away.  
"SHIT!" Poe and Rey yelled out simultaneously the moment he started shooting at them as two laser beams directly hit the Millenium Falcon.  
They felt the impact as the whole ship started shaking from the damage and some parts started to explode as all of the buttons inside started blinking and beeping.

He was still in front of them for a brief second, but for some reason turned around and went back to the battlefield as if he suddenly wasn't interested anymore, while Poe and Rey now were the ones who started chasing him. Their control board was still blinking like crazy and Poe yelled: "What's the damage BB-8? Turn the alarms off!"  
 _"Beep-Bop-beep-beep-boooooooop-beep!"_ BB-8 bleeped out like crazy, then they heard Chewbacca growl out as he climbed out from his gunner seat to walk into the cockpit. "WHAT? This fucker shot down both our cannons?" Poe screamed angrily as he looked at Rey and Chewie.  
"So we don't have any functioning weapons here anymore!" Rey sneered out in annoyance.  
Chewbacca howled out and raised his furry arms in anger as he held up his bowcaster.  
"No furball! She meant the Falcon's weapons are all damaged! We can just fly around now without shooting at anything. We're aren't better equipped than a transport ship right now." Poe bickered at him.

They were still chasing Kylo Ren's silencer and watched him shoot down several X-wings with ease, which were attacking the TIE-bombers, but they couldn't launch an attack on him, or help the others anymore.  
Just now Rey realised he was an even better pilot and gunner than Poe and Chewbacca combined, as he was obviously just toying with them the whole time before when he chased them down, missing his shots deliberately until he found the right moment to make the Falcon unfit to fight, disabling its cannons by destroying them completely.

The numbers of X-wings grew smaller, as they were shot down one by one and the TIE-bombers started to carpet bomb some areas on the planet whilst the Resistance pilots weren't able to hinder them anymore.  
"Shit! We're losing this." Poe cried out in frustration.  
"Black leader to all: Retreat! We don't stand a chance anymore. I repeat: Retreat now!" Poe commanded his squadron through his commlink while he rubbed his forehead in frustration and turned the Falcon around.

"Stars, they are destroying most of the planet. Look at all these explosions Everything is burning!" Rey groaned out in shock while the orange lights of the fires flickered on her skin.  
"Yes...It's the First Order. What did you expect?" Poe stated while he activated the hyperdrive and jumped back to lightspeed.  
"I...I don't know. Why are they even doing this? This is plain evil! It's a war crime. Once again!" She cried out and unbuckled angrily from her copilot's seat.  
"They probably want to instil fear in the local population, so they'll bow to the Order. What is more frightening but your whole village being carpet bombed while everyone is burned alive?" Poe asked her and unbuckled too while he activated the autopilot.

"This is just so horrible!" Rey mumbled out and leaned against the wall behind her with both arms while she stared down at the floor.  
Why is Ben ordering this and even takes part in it himself? Is he after all just evil as everyone else thinks he was? A tyrant who burns down whole planets just so others will fear him and bow to the First Order? How could somebody who acts so gentle and has obviously compassion for others do these horrible war crimes?  
It didn't make any sense and again she asked herself if Ben was maybe plainly insane.  
Her head started to hurt and tears were welling up in her eyes from thinking too much about all of this, while her arms wrapped around her body because it started to shiver. Chewbacca stomped over and laid a big furry fur on her shoulder, as he howled out in reassuring sounds.

"Yes, we have to repair the Falcon once again when we are at the base." Rey answered in frustration.

* * *

One day after their failed mission where they lost about one-third of their fleet and weren't able to protect the planet from the attack, Rey went into the nearby forest to let out some of her frustration by training.  
This time she didn't want to use her staff, but learn how to levitate objects and find out how far she could go with it and how big, or heavy the objects could be.  
She was able to get several loose big stones into the air but wasn't able to levitate or rip out objects which were still fixed onto something, like disrooting trees, or breaking off rocks from a cliff.  
Because she knew it was possible to move fixed things through the force and she wanted to learn it desperately she tried over and over again. Going from really big trees to smaller ones, until she reached one which was just about twenty feet high. She could feel the wood shaking from her pull and the roots started cracking under the earthy ground as it slowly emerged about to fall down to the ground.

Just then she felt this prickling feeling on her skin, she instantly knew she wasn't alone anymore. Rey angrily ripped the tree completely out of the earth and levitated it above the ground while she slowly turned around to see him standing in some kind of cave, with wooden beams on the walls, like a corridor. He looked at her with a shocked, but then angered expression and stomped forward in her direction as he balled his hands into fists. She was having none of it and lunged out to throw the tree at him.  
He pulled his hand upwards to deflect it, but it just didn't work for some reason and it flew right through him, landing on the ground behind his form with a loud crashing sound. He stood there a little dumbfounded and blinked two times before he resumed on stomping fast into her direction.

Rey screamed out in desperation and anger: "You are crazy! A monster! How could you do that?"  
When Kylo reached her, his hand darted out and tried to grab her shirt, but this also didn't work and his hand just went right through her and swayed to the side while he retreated it back to his body with a shaking fist.  
"You are crazy! Attacking me with a whole fucking tree!" He yelled while he stood just inches away from her.  
"No! You are crazy for burning down a whole damn planet!" She screamed back at him as she balled her hands into fists and stood on the tip of her toes to appear bigger which didn't help at all as he was still two heads bigger.

"I didn't burn down a whole planet! What are you talking about?" He retorted and took a step forward, looming over her like a shadow.  
"I fucking saw you and your fucking murderers of the First Order carpet bombing this planet! This is a war crime!" She snapped, also taking a step forward,  
their noses were nearly touching now and she just wanted to punch him in his damned beautiful face right now.

"Do you even know what you are saying?" He spat at her in annoyance, emphasizing every word like he wanted to make a point with this question.  
Rey was a little taken back by that. Of course, she knew what she was saying, she saw them carpet bombing the planet. She was there for fuck's sake.  
"Of course I do!" She yelled back, but the tiniest bit of uncertainty slipped through her voice.  
He bowed forwards a little and bowed his head down to hers, his eyes darted back and forth between hers and she felt him trying to penetrate her mind.  
"No, you don't." He growled out in a deep threatening voice.

She took a step back from him, as she felt he was way too close right now which she suddenly didn't like at all with him being like this.  
"Why did the Resistance think it was a good idea to intercept the bombardment?" He asked in a suddenly low, but steady voice, all the anger gone.  
"What kind of question is this? Seriously carpet bombing? Attacking a defenceless planet? This is pure evil!" Rey cried out as she threw her arms in the air from frustration on this obvious answer.

"So in your and probably everybody else's opinion, I sit on Snoke's throne all day and decide on some Sunday evening instead of taking a stroll through the ship,  
I am bored today and in your mind plainly evil so that I just instead carpet bomb a planet for no reason? Just because I like to and have nothing better to do?"  
He asked in the most sarcastic way as he also threw his arms up frustrated.  
Rey blinked several times at this accusation and pondered about it: "...No. You...You... You did it to instil fear in the population. So they'll bow to the First Order. Handing over their business and government to you."

Kylo snorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Does your scum of an organisation actually tell their pilots anything at all about their missions, before they are sent to killing off themselves with these banthafodders of metal coffins they call battleships?"

"Yes, of course they do!" Rey yelled back offended but also crossed her arms in front of her chest as she waited for him to say something more because she didn't know to what point he was trying to get.  
"Good, then I expect you to know what the main source of income on this planet is." He stated as he gestured his hand to her and raised an eyebrow in expectancy.  
Rey knitted her eyebrows together and answered: "They...They do mining. It's a mining planet."  
"Oh, they told you something at least. So what do they mine?" He sarcastically commented.  
"Uhm...they...mine...minerals." She answered with more uncertainty in her voice and took a step backwards.  
"Which minerals?" Ben asked and took a step forward to press her into answering.  
"I...dont know." She answered truthfully and felt like she was getting two heads smaller with every question.

"So you don't know what it was all about, but still decided to go with all your traitorous friends on a mission to keep us from attacking the planet?  
Exposing yourself to danger by doing so? Here I have to ask, who is the crazy one?" He gritted out between his teeth.  
Tears started to form in her eyes as she had the feeling she lacked some big parts of knowledge he held and he was going to crush her with it.  
He stood directly in front of her and his eyes bored into hers with such intensity and anger she had trouble to keep on looking at him.  
Then they suddenly changed to something else entirely and he stepped back from his threatening position over her.  
"Sit down." He plainly ordered. Her eyes widened at his command, but she didn't sit down. Instead, she crossed her arms and answered in protest:  
"No! I am not taking orders from you."

He exhaled in annoyance and sat down in a cross-legged position while watching her. He didn't say anything but took a stick which was laying somewhere around and drew a circle on the sandy ground in front of him. Then he drew several warped lines inside of the circle while she watched him confused and with interest.  
After some time, she gave up to sit down too and watched him draw the picture on the floor.  
"This is the planet Kessel." He pointed with his finger at the circle. "These lines here, are the mineral vines. Here are the mining plants." He let the stick glide alongside the lines and pointed to several dots inside the circle. "There are the villages and cities." He drew several crosses inside.

"We bombed these areas." He drew alongside the mine vines and plants but left out the populated areas. "Do you know what spice is?"  
"Spice?" Like what you use for food?" She asked with disbelief as she watched him draw out the plan.  
"No. Spice. Also called Glitterstem." He added.  
"Uhm...No." She answered with a confused look.  
"It's a drug. The most addicting one throughout the galaxy. Formerly used as a medical substance by the Republic. But by now mostly sold as a drug on the black market. Something over which criminal gangs are fighting since decades. Enslaving and killing millions of people for it."  
Ben calmly explained. How was he able to change from pure anger to being this content in seconds? Rey wondered.

"Glitterstem is being mined there. All over the planet. We destroyed the mines and the plants." He finished and laid the stick away, while he leaned himself back on both his hands and stretched out his legs in front of him, destroying what he just drew on the ground with his movement.

Rey stayed silent for a long time, processing what she just heard. So the First Order carpet bombed these mines, so they would destroy the source of this drug throughout the whole galaxy. They were not doing this, to burn down a planet, or instil fear, or wanting anybody to bow to them. It was just to take these drugs off the market forever in an extremely radical and fast way.

She felt stupid instantly. So stupid. She could punch something right now. Why did nobody tell her what this planet was? Why did nobody know exactly what specific areas the First Order was attacking? Why did they go on this mission with such few information?  
Was it because in the minds of the Resistance members First Order equals pure evil? Supreme Leader of the First Order equals pure madness and violence?  
Did Leia know? Did any other general have an idea about what the attack was about at all?  
Rey pulled her legs up and hugged her knees while her body started to shiver slightly and tears started forming in her eyes as she looked down on the floor,  
where Ben had brushed away his drawing with his feet. "I feel so stupid. You even tried to lure us away from the fight." She mumbled out.

"Yes. I did." He answered boldly.  
Now tears started falling down as her chest felt compressed from him admitting this.  
"You are not stupid. The Resistance is. For not distributing enough information to their pilots." He concluded.  
Rey looked up at him again and whispered out with a broken voice: "I am sorry. I didn't know. From our perspective, it looked completely different."  
His eyes widened slightly at her apology, then he stood up, walked forward to her and kneeled down in front of her sitting form. He reached out his arm to her but hesitated a moment before touching it, like a small child that wasn't allowed to touch this expensive vase on the shelf but is going to do it anyway.

He did after some seconds and laid his hand on her arms, she had folded over her knees. She noticed he was able to do so again, which he wasn't before when he tried to grip her shirt.  
"Is the force just allowing us to touch each other when we are not arguing? Or trying to hurt each other?" She whispered to him, while she laid her tearstained, wet cheek on his gloved hand, desperately searching for his contact after this intense argument.

"Seems so." He answered shortly, while his thumb brushed the tip of her nose. This was an utterly sweet and gentle gesture and her heartbeat increased again,  
while her eyes darted up to his. He looked down at her because he was still much bigger, even in his kneeling position and his eyes were content.  
"Don't do things like that again. I am not always there to deliberately shoot you down with a bad aim before somebody else does." He breathed out. It was meant as some kind of cruel joke, but she understood the meaning behind it. It meant something like: _I am scared for you to get killed, I might not be able to save you next time._

She pulled her head up to look directly at him now and her eyes searched his while she whispered: "Ben...I hate this war. I want to be with you. Just you.  
Without all of this around us. I hate it. I don't want to fight you. Ever."  
His eyes widened in shock and he pulled his arm away while he inhaled sharply and looked at her like she insulted him in the worst way.  
She stiffened at his reaction and knitted her eyebrows together in confusion: "Did...Did I say something wrong?"

He suddenly stood up, backed several steps away from her. "Ben...what is it? Shouldn't I have said this?" She asked desperately as she also stood up and tears welled up in her eyes again.  
Finally, Ben answered as he gripped his hair on the back of his head with one hand, while his eyebrows knitted together and his lip started trembling a bit.  
"Ineedtoseeyou." He pressed out so fast, it sounded like it was just one word.

"But you are seeing me." She stated with a confused glance.  
"Yes. But this is not real. I need to _really_ see you." Ben breathed out desperately.  
"Ben..." Rey took some steps forward in his direction and he just stood there, like he was glued to the spot, unable to move.  
When she reached him, she gripped his collar in both hands and pulled him down suddenly while he took her face between his warm gloved palms and lowered his head slightly, which made his wavy hair fall down in front of his eyes.

She could feel her heart pumping so much blood through her veins, she was surely about to pass out any second from excitement and the sheer amount of the force flowing through her just from being so close to him. Rey heard his breathing growing louder and brushing against her lips, whilst his eyes searched her for allowance, which she granted as she bit her bottom lip to wet it and leave it slightly open to him as a small whimper of anticipation escaped her throat.  
This was it, they knew they wanted each other, wanted to be together and they couldn't hold it back anymore.  
He tilted his head a little and was just about to kiss her when she felt her fist clashing together as there was nothing more to hold on.

Ben was just gone and Rey was alone in the forest once again, heart beating against her ribcage like there was no tomorrow, insides turning around in excitement and a trembling lip which was waiting in anticipation to finally taste this man who was giving her so many different emotions and made her body go crazy for him.  
But of course, the force decided for some reason against it today and she felt cheated of her first kiss with him. Just one more second and she would have been able to feel, how it was to reach true balance with him. But no - for some reason she wasn't allowed.  
After all, it wasn't Luke Skywalker who barked in to interrupt them this time.

Which didn't mean she wasn't angry and frustrated. Oh, she was. Really frustrated right now. She screamed out loud and started ripping out tree by tree and threw them through the forest. Do normal people act like that, when they were not allowed to kiss someone? Maybe. But they didn't have force powers and were able to deforest a whole area when they were angry. But she was, so much and the trees had to suffer under her temper right now.  
Obviously, this bond already rubbed off on her as she definitely had more angry outbursts than she had before it.  
It wasn't her problem, she fell in love with someone on the other side of the galaxy, the war and the force.  
But nonetheless, she was the one who had to deal with it, as well as he had to somehow.

* * *

 **Man, why is the force always cockblocking them? So mean!**


	10. Chapter 10: Change

Rey really had the urge to talk to Finn about everything she learned about the First Order by Ben, because her friend - who currently hated her - was the only one with real inside knowledge about what was going on there. She wanted him to ask for his opinion if the First Order is changing its course of action or if they always did missions like the ones Ben ordered. She wanted to know how Finn is, wanted to know what he did these last days, wanted to tell him how she managed to unroot trees and throw them around (and in Ben's face), wanted to know, if he also thought the food in the cantina was really good and she ultimately just wanted to see and embrace him. She missed her friend dearly and wondered if he did too, or was still angry at her.

Stars he didn't even know how Ben's and her relationship to each other has changed over the last weeks. Rey didn't know if she would ever have the heart for telling him how she felt about Ben. She could very well spit in Finn's face and kick him in the stomach while he lays on the ground, it would pretty much have the same effect on him.

Rey was at the Falcon again repairing it, mainly the damaged cannons but there were several other parts out of order by the explosions that followed after the destruction of their guns. Someone behind her cleared her throat and she turned around to see who it was. It was Rose.  
Rey hadn't seen her, since the argument with Finn and she assumed Rose was angry with her as well.  
"Uhm. Hi Rose." Rey blinked at her unsure of what to say.

"Hi, Rey." Rose waved and grinned a little bit.  
Rey didn't know what to do and stood up from her kneeling position, as she held her working tool in her hand while she waited for Rose to talk.  
"Finn told me to give this to you." Rose walked forward and pulled out a metallic object from a side pocket of her onesie.  
Rey took it in her hand and turned it around several times to examine it.  
"Oh, it's a..." She started but was interrupted by Rose: "Yup it is! We heard you needed this to repair the cannons and Finn somehow got the hands on it,  
so he wanted you to have it."

Rey's eyes started to water a little over this stupid metal piece in her hand, what somehow was a metaphor for a peace offer by her friend in her mind.  
"So...Finn doesn't hate me?" She asked with a trembling lip.  
"Uhm...No. He is still angry and stubborn. But mainly hurt. Really hurt. And he misses you. Sometimes I think he misses you more, then he misses me when I am on a mission. But that's ok, you are his best friend after all." Rose explained while she punched Rey jokingly in her arm.

"He...He misses me?" Rey gulped down and sobbed out. "Does he want to talk to me?"  
"I don't know actually. He always says to me he doesn't want to see you ever again blabla, but then he also asks about you every time someone mentions your name,  
if you are okay and if you came back from your mission unharmed and so on. He nearly flipped out when he knew the Falcon was heavily damaged two days ago.  
So yeah he kind of is lying about not wanting to see you." Rose grinned widely at her and mimicked explosions with her hand.

"Oh, he did? Ok. Thank you, Rose. I think I am going to talk to him. You are the best!" Rey smiled and embraced the woman in front of her in relief.  
"But...How do you feel? I mean aren't you angry with me?" Rey asked suddenly taking a step back.  
"Hmm, angry? Yeah, I was angry at first when Finn told me. Not at you for having this connection or something. I mean you can't do anything about it, right? I was angry for us being stuck in this damn war. Being scared of losing people we love, every time we fly out, always having to take sides, deciding who is bad and who is good. That's whats making me angry actually. I think everybody who is taking part in this war is guilty, some more than others and everybody thinks they are on the right side, doing the right things. Who knows who is right actually?  
I mean some months ago, I would have shot Finn down in an instant if he'd still be in his stormtrooper uniform. Who knew, there'd be such a kind-hearted man under this bucket helmet?" Rose pointed out, while she mimicked a stormtrooper helmet around her head with her hands.

Rey pondered for several seconds about everything this woman had said right now. She was so right. Everybody thought they were doing the right thing,  
nobody woke up in the morning and thought: _Yeah today I am going to be really evil and do evil things just for the fun of it.  
_ Ok, maybe Snoke did that. Actually, Rey was pretty sure, Snoke thought exactly that every morning he stood up.  
And yes, she would probably have shot Finn too if he was in his stormtrooper uniform still, if he hadn't decided to leave the First Order and kind of stumble into her on Jakku after Poe helped him. Hell Poe helped him, even if he knew he was a stormtrooper. Poe did something similar to what Rey did, but not to this extent,  
as Rey is doing it right now. "Rose. Thank you, you always know the right things to say. Seriously, you are so right!" Rey grinned at her and held the metal piece from Finn to her chest like it was a special gift of some sorts.

They said goodbye and Rey was off to search for Finn somewhere on the base. After some time she finally found him dismantling a blaster outside, so she walked over to him nervously.  
He didn't see her approaching until she yelled out: "Finn!" His head shot up and he looked at her in confusion.  
She just kept walking in his direction and he stood up with parts of the blaster in his hand and mumbled out a surprised: "Rey..."  
Rey started going faster now, nearly running and just when she reached him, let herself fall forward to embrace him fully.  
He was going stiff and didn't move for a second, but then pulled his arms around her too and embraced her back finally with such a strong hug, she had trouble breathing, but it was worth it.

"Finn I am so sorry. I never wanted us to be like that." Rey whimpered out while hugging him even more.  
"No, I am sorry, for saying these things to you. You didn't deserve that. I am so stupid!" He apologized next to her ear.  
"I might have deserved that." Rey laughed out a little with tears in her eyes.  
Finn parted a little from her and brushed a tear away which had slipped out from his eyes while he laughed. "Haha no, you didn't.  
It's not like you did this for the sake of this sith scum of Supreme Leader, you just tried to save the galaxy and us. Which is honourable actually.  
I just didn't see it before." He grinned at her.

Rey's heart sunk down into her chest and the grin she wore before faltered instantly. This is going exactly in the direction she did not want it to go, making it even harder for her. "Uhm...yeah. So uh...Do you want to talk or something? I really would like to talk to you. We haven't for days. So much happened since then."  
She stuttered out feeling all the colour leave her face as she had the feeling she is going to hurt Finn again. Stars, what was she doing all the time?  
Why is she even in this situation? Her life is becoming so much more complex with each passing day, it was hard to keep up.

Now Finn looked slightly confused at her, obviously sensing there was more she needed to tell him. "Uh...Yeah. Okay. Then let's talk. I've got the feeling,  
I need a drink for that. I see it on your face. Let's get some beer shall we?" He asked and Rey was instantly relieved he at least tried to talk to her, even if he knew she was going to say things, he didn't like.  
"Oh beer? Alcohol? Uh yes, that's good. I seriously could need a drink or two! Let's get some!" Rey grinned at him uncertainly while she felt as if her breath was knocked out from her lungs.

So they went back to the base, got some beers and afterwards went out into the nearby forest where they found a nice spot in front of a small lake to sit down and talk. After they opened their bottles and took a few sips he finally broke the silence: "So out with it! You have something to say."  
"Uh eh. Yeah. So. You were with the First Order before with Snoke...Did you notice changes in their line of action since Be...Kylo Ren became their leader?"  
She asked him while she held the bottle in front of her mouth.

"I don't know why you are asking this, but let me think about it. Ehm...I guess not. Wait, they didn't build or use another superweapon...I guess?  
But maybe we just don't know about it yet. Maybe they already have a Starkiller Base II in the making already or something like that."  
He pondered some seconds and looked into the sky. "But they still destroy planets, kill people and conquer whole star systems. So no, I don't see any changes."

"I am asking you this because I think that Kylo...for fuck's sake...Ben - he is called Ben - is changing the First Order from within. Yes, they are conquering planets and are killing off people but in a different way than they did before." She tried to explain.

"Oh yeah, the people who are stripped of their freedom and being killed, burned alive by carpet bombing are certainly happy that it happens - _but different_!"  
He sneered at her in a sarcastic way.  
Rey groaned out. When he phrased it like this it certainly still sounded like bantha shit.  
"I...I still talk with Ben, you know." She nearly whispered because she was scared Finn would scream at her like last time.

He just went really silent for a while and didn't answer, but looked down onto the ground while he turned the bottle around in his hand, obviously trying to calm himself down, to not freak out. Then he took a huge gulp and looked at her afterwards. "Ok. So what does this tell me?"  
"He told and showed me some things he does within the First Order. I don't know why exactly." She started to explain.

"Because he wants you to join! Because he wants your power! Isn't it completely obvious?!" Finn suddenly yelled out and stood up with an angry look on his face.  
"No...I don't think...Ok yes, he wants me to join. But that's not why I think he let me see these things. I think he is trying to initiate changes in the First Order.  
The carpet bombing, for example, we talked about that. It had a completely different purpose than what we thought." Rey answered, but was interrupted.

"So you like, talked yesterday, or today or what? Stars...I think I gotta vomit. Did you already forget HE was the one, who shot down YOUR ship at that mission, nearly killing Chewie, Poe and you by doing so? He chased you through the battlefield shooting at you like crazy! I saw it but wasn't able to help you.  
How can you talk to him afterwards? He tried to kill you!" Finn yelled out, obviously agitated.

"Yes. He was the one who chased and attacked us. You are right. But you weren't there in the Falcon. You didn't see everything that happened. You can't feel him through the force or even talk to him like I do. He chased us away from the battlefield, deliberately missed his aim the whole time until he had the chance to destroy our cannons, making us unable to take part in the fight anymore. Which meant we had to pull back then." She declared as she also stood up and gripped her bottle with both hands.

"I am sure he was. Nobody can exactly aim at certain parts of a ship like that through mid-flight. You were just lucky he didn't shoot you right in the face." Finn hissed out sarcastically in disbelief.

"You forget that he is extremely strong with the force and seriously the best pilot I have ever seen. Better than Poe even. He knew exactly what he was doing and it was no accident that the only shots which were aimed correctly were the ones which disabled our cannons. Afterwards, he didn't even do anything anymore,  
but flew away and continued the battle elsewhere." She gestured a dismissive hand, expressing how he had just let them go like that.

"Ok. Let's assume he knew what he was doing and was doing this on purpose. Why would he do that at all? He wants the whole Resistance dead.  
Why would he spare you like that? Some crazy mindfuck from him again?" Finn nearly yelled in anger, but also confusion while waving the bottle around.

There was a long pause between them, where Rey had to pull together all the courage she could muster to say this very sentence.  
"I think it is because he loves me." Was all she could press out, followed by a long shaky exhale.

Finn blinked several times and nearly let his bottle fall down. He stumbled backwards some steps until he yelled out in surprise:  
"WHAT?"

"It's like I said. I...I know he cares for me, has compassion. I can feel his emotions when we are connected. I feel it. I had visions of us.  
We will bring back balance to the universe somehow, somewhen. I saw it." She stated and her face turned slightly red as how badly she could describe the connection she shared with Ben at this stressful moment.  
"This monster...He can't feel anything at all. Seriously. He is plain evil. Someone like him can't feel something like compassion. Seriously think about it Rey!  
He is a cold-hearted murderer! Whatever you think he is feeling - is bullshit, it's to lure you to his side!" Finn cried out in disbelief.

Rey paused again for several moments after his outburst, but then pressed her lips together as tears started to flow out and she sobbed:  
"Finn... I love him too."

"You. Are. Kidding. Me...?" Finn half asked, half stated with knitted eyebrows and let the bottle sink to down beside his body in defeat.  
"No." Rey huffed out and looked at the ground in shame.  
A long pause took place again.  
"Why?" Finn questioned with a low and steady voice.

Rey looked up, feeling oh so guilty about all of it once again. "I...We...We have this connection. Since Tokadona I think. Not in this way we have it right now.  
But something linked us already there. We weren't really aware back then. Not me at least. He already knew something was off.  
But when the connection grew stronger I saw so much of him, Finn. He isn't just this cold-hearted bloody murderer everyone thinks him to be.  
There are so many facets to his whole history. Starting from his early childhood being abandoned and nearly killed by his uncle, to Snoke taking over his mind,  
to him being in this position right now.

There are reasons why he is so torn and also why he is in this very dark place right now. I am able to understand and see most of this through our connection,  
even if I don't particularly agree with his methods most of the time.  
He is using his position to change the course of First Order right now. His acts really differ from what Snoke did when he was the leader and I think we are not reacting appropriately to these sudden changes. I don't know if he likes to be in this position, sometimes I think he'd like to be anywhere else but there.  
But if he wouldn't have taken this spot, somebody else would have done this. Hux or any other general actually. I mean you worked under Hux, you know him.  
I think the whole galaxy would be enslaved right now by the First Order if he'd be in charge instead.

There was an assassination attempt on Ben, within his own ranks. Probably because people are questioning his methods.  
When he asked me to join him after we killed Snoke, he asked me to rule the galaxy and install a new Order with him. I didn't know he planned to change things.  
I thought he would just follow in Snoke's footsteps. But he doesn't. I dare to give him a chance to prove that he wants to bring balance, in his own twisted version of doing so."

Finn went really quiet and stared at her with wide eyes for what felt like hours after her little speech.  
"So...You sympathize with the First Order now? Because of him?" He asked with disgust in his voice.  
Rey gulped down, he was getting it all wrong again. "No...No I don't! They are still inflicting a war. I hate this war. But we are also participating in it.  
We are also killing people. Both sided think we are doing the right thing. I mean...The carpet bombing I talked about. We also killed several of their pilots when we attacked them. As well as they killed ours. He showed me why they attacked the planet. It's a mining planet which is mostly run through by veins of...what did he call it? Glitterstem I think."

"Glitterstem? You mean Spice? The drug?" Finn knitted his eyebrows together in sudden confusion.  
"Oh, you know it? I never heard of it before. Yes, this drug. He told me this planet is practically the only source for it and it's sold all over the galaxy.  
The First Order bombed the veins and the plants but left out the villages and cities. This was his order." Rey explained further and waited for his reaction.

"Oh...Okay. I didn't know that. So they left the people alive?" Finn asked with interest.  
"Yes. As far as it was possible I guess." Rey answered truthfully.  
"I guess you are maybe right. Snoke or Hux would have burned everything down, including the villages. No, wait. They wouldn't have done that. They would have taken over the planet and annex the mines to serve the First Order actually to get profit out of it." Finn pondered while he raised a hand to his chin.  
"See? It is different!" Rey sipped at her drink, a little less tense than before as she finally had the feeling Finn was somehow understanding where she was going.

"But why wouldn't we know about this? I mean we had the info that the First Order is attacking and burning down this planet." He asked slightly confused.  
"I don't know. I think we just maybe didn't know enough before launching this mission. Also...I think Leia...I mean she doesn't want her son to die. That's clear.  
But she told me he is pretty much lost and shouldn't be in this position. She told me she wants to see him in detention forever." Rey started but was interrupted again.

"And she is damn right about that!" Finn yelled out.

"Maybe she is. When I think about it, Ben would probably rather die, than being imprisoned, but anyway. I think she is being blind to see Ben's goals.  
She gave up on him and just see's the enemy. The First Order. Him, being the leader of it. And yeah, of course, he killed his father, her husband.  
Which really doesn't put him in the best light actually. Not at all.  
But he did it under Snoke's strong influence and he regretted doing it the moment his lightsaber went through him. He is haunted by this, torn apart, feeling guilty with his deed for the rest of his life." Rey explained as she thought about how she felt his conflict when they touched hands on Ahch-To and shared their memories.

"How would you know that he feels like that? That he regrets doing this? How do you know, all of this is not just one big lie trying to persuade you to the dark side, overthrowing the Resistance, putting an end to all of this? How can you even know that he 'loves' you? This could all be part of a big plan to get you to turn to the dark side, you know?" Finn huffed out desperately.

Rey waited some time before answering because Finn found her weak point in her whole theroy. She did trust Ben. On some account. Not completely, like she trusted Finn, Poe or Rose. Not at all. No, she had huge trust issues with him. Which explained this ill dynamic between both of them, which consisted of yelling and attacking each other, then going back to talking calmly and being gentle to hiding information so the other one won't know what each of their organisation is doing.  
But apart from that, she could feel his emotion, his desperation to see her, to be with her, his longing and his truthfulness when he talks to her or shows her memories. Also, the vision they shared, it was still there, it wasn't fulfilled in the throne room but it will still happen. She was so sure of it. It had to.

"Finn. I can't explain this. I know. I just know. The force is with me."


	11. Chapter 11: Water

**Now you might find out, why this story is rated M. For all the swearing of course!**

* * *

After the conversation with Finn, Rey felt so much better, her friend still didn't like pretty much anything she told him about the connection or her ideas about it, mostly he was scared of her being hurt and lured to the dark side. But he somehow understood her viewpoint to some degree and at least accepted it. Even if he hated the concept of her having some kind of emotional bond to Kylo Ren, or even claimed to love him.

Some days later Rey just came from training in the forest, this time she trained together with Finn and several different models of blasters. She needed to learn how to shoot with them, as she didn't have any functioning lightsaber to fight with right now so he offered her to show how to.

When they were done and Rey felt pretty secure with each one, they also trained with her staff and hand to hand combat. It took several hours and she was totally done for, soaked in sweat afterwards. It was nearly dark when she went back to her room to get in the fresher to do something against her burning, sore muscles from the training.

It was a nice, hot shower and for some reason, her brain decided to think about that one time she accidentally saw Ben coming out of his fresher naked from the waist up when she was still on Ahch-To. He certainly did his training on a regular basis. Rey hadn't seen the scar he got from Chewbacca's blaster back then, as he still had some kind of black bandage on his stomach. She wondered how it has healed. If she just could see...or maybe feel how...

Something inside her belly and also deeper down started to tingle as she imagined sliding this bandage he wore down back then, so she could be able to see it.  
She would certainly trace her fingers alongside it his light-coloured skin. Maybe also over the scar, she was responsible for on his chest.  
Maybe she would even kiss a trail down from one scar to the next, right above the waistband of his pants. If he had any more scars under...Stars! What was she thinking? She closed her eyes and groaned slightly as she let the water fall down on her head and tried to think of something else.

Rey shifted her position several times as her thighs felt like she needed to move them somehow, which didn't make it better at all, but made her even giddier.  
She decided to finish the shower and go out but felt she needed to clean one particular sticky spot again, so she slid her fingers between her thighs and touched herself. She instantly felt she wasn't wet from the water down there, but it were her own fluids which were dripping out all over her fingers the moment she touched her slick folds with a moan.

That was just great! She thought sarcastically. Did that happen, just because she thought about...doing things to Ben? Why did she even think about that?  
Stars...Never in her life, was she so moist like she was right now. And he wasn't even here with her. She huffed out and cleaned herself, not wanting to dive deeper into any of these things her stupid piece of brain was brooding together right now in some kind of poor attempt to confuse her any further with this man.

When she went out of the fresher, Rey realized she again forgot her towel outside on her bed, as she always did so she went out on tiptoes to not wet the whole floor with her feet. She still had these tingly feelings down there with every step she took and wondered if this will go away by itself, or if she should maybe take care of it before it distracts her the rest of the day. Just when she had reached her bed she felt the tingly feeling spreading through her whole body and was slightly overwhelmed by it, as she thought she couldn't be THAT aroused just by thinking of him.  
But then Rey suddenly understood - which tingling feeling it was exactly - as she instantly took the towel and pulled it panicky in front of her with a squeak leaving her mouth, whilst swirling around and kneeling down because she knew he was there, right behind her.

He was just leaving his ship and went down the big hangar on one of his battleships, followed by several stormtroopers and generals, which also stood to the right and left and saluted him, whilst he walked with big steps through the rows.  
The moment he saw her he gasped out and instantly turned around to look away so that one stormtrooper walked directly into his chest and nearly toppled over by surprise, then instantly backed off and excused himself several times, probably fearing for his life.

One of the generals who also walked behind him asked confused: "Supreme leader, did something happen"? Is everything in order?"  
"No!" Ben hissed out and was still turned away from Rey.  
"What?" The general asked in confusion with a raised eyebrow.  
"Yes." Ben now answered now a little confused himself.  
"No? Yes?" The general held up both hands now, obviously not understanding the conversation at all.  
"What?" Ben asked him now too as he hadn't any idea how to answer this and what the general wanted from him.

Ben readied himself then and turned around again to keep on walking, while he tried to avoid looking at Rey, who had already pulled the towel around her completely to cover herself at least. "So...So is there something we should do now? You...You didn't answer?" The general asked with uncertainty and fear,  
probably because he thought he gets choked or something for asking.  
The moment the general asked, Ben's eyes wandered up to Rey and he watched a water drop trail its way down from her chin, over her neck, to her chest where it disappeared between her wet breasts, which were neatly pressed together from the towel.

She saw his eyes wander down and instantly pulled the towel higher as her face went all red.  
"Yes...Do...Do general things. What you always do." Ben said with a dismissive gesture as he stomped forward fast and pressed his eyes closed whilst he muttered a "Fuck.", obviously scolding himself for this unusual behaviour. He kept on walking to some corridors and the other members from the First Order left him alone, looking really confused at him leaving like that.

After several seconds, he went to the left and opened an automatic door to a room which was full of blasters and electro axes, obviously a weapons storage room.  
He hadn't looked at Rey again since he started walking but did now and she could see how he balled his hands into fists and his breathing getting faster,  
while his eyes tried to focus on her face but they also started to tremble slightly and slipped down to her body sometimes.

"Would you like... maybe dress yourself?" He asked after some time as he backed off against the automatic door of the room as if he was in need of something to lean against. "I can't remember you doing that when I asked you to do so last time." She grinned triumphantly at him.  
He snorted and answered honestly whilst his eyes were so fixed on her, she thought they might burn through her if she kept staring back so intensely:  
"Yes. That's true."

"I just thought about you." She suddenly babbled out as she took a step forward. But just then she realised just how that must have sounded in this particular situation right now and she groaned out at her stupidity and her face went red again.

His balled fists opened and he pressed their palms flat against the wall behind him, as if he wanted to back off a little more, but couldn't.  
He just breathed out: "What?" With a voice, which was unusually high for him.  
"It's not like...that. I...stars. I...Uh...I yes I thought about the uhm you know. I...I thought about the wound Chewbacca did to you and if it healed well.  
Yes. I thought about that." She stuttered and felt like the biggest idiot in the galaxy. Great, now she even told him that she thought about his body.

One hand wandered from where it was pressed against the door to his side, where he was shot. "My wound? I...Why would you think about that now?"  
He asked with total confusion in his eyes.  
"I don't know. Just shower thoughts I guess." Maker. Again. What the hell was she saying? She should just shut up entirely. She was making this worse with every passing second. Maybe she should bring the topic back to him, away from her or something like that, so it wouldn't be so awkward anymore.  
"Shower thoughts?" He again asked totally perplexed.  
"Don't you have any shower thoughts? I mean when you are in the fresher on your ship?" Rey asked now as her brain decided to imagine him standing in a shower now. Why won't the connection just break off right now? This was maybe the only chance to save her from embarrassing her any further.  
Or maybe she should just stop talking forever in front of him.

He pressed himself away from the door, pulled one hand up and placed his palm over one half of his face, while he closed his eyes and groaned out.  
"I don't know if you are trying to seduce me or whatever you are trying to achieve with this. But I can assure you, it works really, really well right now.  
I can't tell you from which mission I just came. Seriously. I can't. So I beg you to stop this."

Rey's face went now so red it started to burn on her skin, as she just breathed out a surprised: "Oh." As she wasn't aware how all of this looked from his perspective.  
Then her mind snapped back to what he just said. "A...A mission? Ok. I didn't want to know about any mission. I didn't try to get out any information right now.  
I just came out the fresher and was surprised by the connection as much as you were. Seriously." She assured him.

He pulled his hand away from his face in relief and watched her again. "Oh. Okay. Then, keep on."  
Rey's eyes widened at that: "What? With seducing you? Which I totally didn't. I mean not on purpose at least!" She snapped at him.  
"NO! I meant...Dressing. Or whatever you are doing after getting out of the fresher. I don't know." He stuttered out now equally embarrassed.  
"Yeah. Uhm mostly I get dressed afterwards." She answered and wanted to slap herself for this stupid answer again, her eyes darted next to him,  
as he stood directly in front of the dresser with her clothes. He followed her glance and looked at her in confusion again.

She pointed forward and explained: "My clothes are in there."  
"Ok." He plainly answered and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Rey understood what that meant, he was up to playing some game of dominance after this whole embarrassing conversation took place to regain some form of an upper hand and pride again.  
Two can play this game, she thought and walked forward in big steps, pretending to be totally self-confident, while he watched her approach.

She opened the drawers and pulled out some of her clothes she needed, while he didn't move away and stood just inches away from her.  
Then she picked out several panties and laid them neatly next to each other on top of the dresser.  
"Hmm which one should I wear today? What do you think?" Rey teased him, as she tried to lure him out from his self-confident stance again.

He looked at her, then the panties, then back to her again and his eyes squinted together just the slightest bit. "Not any of them."  
He answered and looked away again, while his lips formed into a thin line as if he was suppressing a grin. She nearly choked as she heard this.  
She circled him now and positioned herself directly in front of him, their bodies were nearly touching. He shifted his stance slightly and looked down at her with obvious want in his eyes.

"Did you just flirt with me?" She asked with a big grin, whilst she pressed her palm against his chest, where she felt his heart rate increase immediately.  
"Maybe I did." He stated with such a deep voice, she could swear her body started vibrating from it. Suddenly Rey felt this tingling sensation in her stomach and between her thighs again, the same she had in the shower just moments before they connected and took one more step forward, as her naked leg brushed against his clothed ones.

He pulled up his right arm to touch her still wet face and tucked one strand of dripping hair behind her ear, whilst he sharply inhaled.  
She took his hand into her much smaller ones, gently pulled the black glove off, and discarded it onto the floor next to him.  
Then she put his flat palm against her mouth and gave it a soft kiss on his fingertips as his eyes followed her every move.  
She guided his hand excruciatingly slow down from her mouth to her wet neck, where she allowed him to stay for a while to feel her and draw small circles on her freckled skin with his thumb.

Then, with the guidance of her hand, his palm wandered further down to her chest and she saw him shifting again against the wall as he breathed out with a broken voice: "Rey..." as she leads his hand slowly to the edge of the towel and then over the small, round form of her breast which he cupped now and squeezed oh so gentle while a deep moan left his lips.

"Does this make you nervous?" Rey asked with triumph in her voice, but also with so much lust and arousal, basically she just wanted him to say yes and then hear him moan again and start touching her everywhere already.  
He grinned slightly as his hand still cupped her breast and his thumb instantly found her nipple through the fabric, where he drew small circles as if he knew exactly in which tempo and with which movement she liked it the most.  
Then his other hand suddenly moved up to her hip and gripped her, turned her around in an instant and pushed her forward with her upper body leaned over the dresser while he stretched both her arms crossed over her back with one hand and pinned her down with a military grip so she couldn't move away.

She let out a surprised gasp and turned her head around to him to protest, as she felt his body moving forward and his hip press against her bottom.  
But then he leaned down to whisper in her ear with a deep voice, which just dripped with dominance: "No. It doesn't. But I am certainly pleased by your presence."  
Stars, he was rock hard and pressed himself against her right now. She could feel his length pressing against her entry through his pants, while her towel must have slipped up slightly and she was sure, she was now completely naked down there which made the sensation on her clit by the fabric and his body heat even more arousing to a degree where she wondered if she already was dripping her bodily fluids onto his pants. Rey let out a strangled moan in response, as she was already losing this battle of dominance between them and she wished he would just take her right there.  
Was she seriously considering having sex with him right now? Was this the right thing to do? And then again- would it actually work, through the force?

He gripped her neck directly under her chin as if he was choking her with his gloved hand and pulled her head upwards with pressure, but still gentle without hurting her. Then he placed his ungloved finger on her skin, on the edge of the towel while still fixing her hands and pulled it down so slowly she could feel his fingers brush over her back the whole time and goosebumps started to appear by his touch which felt like he was burning her skin on his way. Another moan escaped her lips and she breathed out: "Stars...Ben..."

When the towel was pulled so deep down, it just barely covered her butt he splayed his hand flat on the dips of her hips and pressed down pretty hard as he was stroking his flat palm upwards like he was trying to feel as much as possible through his touch.  
She arched from his touch and pressed herself more against him, which made him twitch and groan whilst he leaned forward again to place more weight on her body.  
Rey could feel her walls pulling together as she also felt his arousal pressing against her even more, which made her squirm in want and press back into him.

"Maker...Ben. I...fuck. I am going crazy." She breathed out as shivers went through her legs.  
"Oh yes, you are. I can feel it." He said as he let his ungloved finger run alongside her shoulderblade and then to the side of her breast, which was pressed down onto the dresser. Stars he was touching her naked, still wet breast now and she felt like the universe would explode any second from just how excited she was.  
Just then she realized what he meant, with "feeling it". He had bridged their minds as she wasn't really concentrated on anything else but his touch, so he didn't just feel it from her reactions to him, but he also really felt her emotions and everything else what was happening right now to her, which must certainly be intense if he experienced his own arousal as well as hers. So she did the same and dived right into his mind, but the second she slipped in she realised it was too much,  
too overwhelming, too arousing.  
Their minds, their want combined doubled everything and she cried out as her legs started to buckle under this huge amount of passion she felt flowing freely through her body right now.

He suddenly blocked her out from his mind and pulled her upwards into a standing position with both his hands, while he tucked the towel around her again to not let her stand around naked just like that.  
He cradled both his arms around her and embraced her from behind, around her upper stomach, right under her breasts. She leaned into him, while he laid his head on her shoulder. She placed her hands on his lower arms and sighed out: "Stars Ben...If you thought this one time when you touched my arm was intense...then this was from another dimension. I thought I'd pass out any second." She could still feel his length pressing against her and she was still extremely aroused, as he groaned into her ear: "Yes...It is. Your mind is still open. Please kick me out."  
"Oh." She muttered and instantly shut him out too. He relaxed slightly behind her and nuzzled his forehead into her neck, while he mumbled out: "Thanks..." As if he was relieved by just feeling his own emotions again.

After a while, when they had calmed down slightly from their highly aroused state and just felt the warmth of their bodies against each other as well as listening to their breath, he said something again:  
"You are really special and important to me Rey." He breathed out while he started to stroke her cheek with the back of his ungloved fingers.  
"Ben you are too. No matter what stands between us." She instantly answered as she leaned into his hands and looked up into his eyes, which looked a little dreamy from before but also very serious.

"Take care, okay? Please." He just stated and stepped back a little while he was dissolving in an instant.  
Rey felt so alone and cold suddenly at the loss of his contact, she hugged herself to stop her body from shivering.  
'Take care' Why did he say that? Is something going on? Will something bad happen? He also talked about some mission, before they did whatever they did right now, he didn't want to tell her about. Was he trying to warn her about something again?

She sighed and took the clothes into her hands, then looked upon the panties she had laid out before him, which fell down on the floor when he pushed her down onto the dresser. She took the black one because she saw how he looked at this one for the longest time - of course - it was black. Like everything he was always wearing, so it was no surprise he'd like black panties.

Apart from the panty business, she had to talk with Finn, Rose and Poe about the things he said today. Of course not this whole intense encounter itself,  
but about this secret mission and him telling her to take care. She had the feeling this meant something and she had to find out what it was.  
After she took care of herself of course. Obviously Ben didn't always get to finish what he started the way he wanted to.

* * *

 **Did they seriously still not kiss? Wow! But at least they nearly had forcetime sex.**


	12. Chapter 12: Birthday

**monumentnmelodi: Thank you. Yeah I don't think the First Order itself (the generals and such) is changing so much, Ben is changing it's course mostly.  
Let's see to where this leads...**

 **Giovanna Bays: You want jealousy? You'll get some jealousy ;)**

 **Thank you for reviewing everyone!**

* * *

"So he came from some kind of mission? With several troopers and generals? From which battleship?"

Finn asked as Poe, him, Rose and Rey sat together outside of the base while she told them about her last meeting with Ben.  
Finally being able to talk freely about everything with all her friends, which took a huge burden from her shoulders after keeping it secret all this time.  
"I guess he came from his own command shuttle. The black one." Rey answered as she tried to remember the short moment she saw parts of it.  
"Did he tell them something? Gave orders or anything else?" Poe asked too.

"No. Uhm he just left the ship I guess." She knitted her eyebrows together as she thought back to the funny moment he was unable to give out any constructive orders to his general.  
"So he just left the ship, without saying anything at all?" Rose asked now a little suspicious.  
"No. I mean. He said something. He...Stars. He told his general to do general things. He was a little surprised to see me I guess." She answered truthfully while suppressing a grin, without telling why exactly he was so surprised.

"...General...things?" Poe asked in disbelief as he dragged out these words. "He told his general to do general things?"  
"Yeah. I think he didn't want me to hear anything about their conversation or mission before." Rey answered and looked at the floor, to avoid the others from seeing her grin like an idiot.  
"He sounds like the worst leader in history." Poe snorted out now and leaned back against the wall of the hangar where they all sat together to talk.  
"Which would be good for us, as he is by chance the leader of the First Order, which means if he leads bad and also tells Rey secrets she shouldn't know of,  
the First Order is doing bad too." Rose grinned in triumph.

Rey laughed out loud at that as Rose was making fun of Ben. He might really be a bad leader. Actually, she didn't know exactly how he leads and if it benefits the goals of the First Order as well as it did before he murdered Snoke. She just hoped not and that he indeed was a bad leader, at least if it was about fulfilling the direction the First Order was originally taking before he took over.

"So what else did he tell you about this mission? Any other clues?" Finn asked now while he crossed his arms a little unnerved from praising Ben for his supposedly bad leading skills. "No, unfortunately not. He just begged me to not ask about it, as he wasn't able to tell me anything. Also, he told me in some kind of serious way to take care. I don't know. Like he worried about something happening soon." Rey explained.  
"Didn't you like question him the whole time? Surely you could have asked for more detail. I don't know, unnerve him about it or something. It's not like he can just walk away when you are connected." Poe questioned her.

"Yes, he can't walk away. We have to wait until the connection is over. I...uhm yeah I tried to get information out of him. He didn't tell anything at all."  
Rey lied while she thought about how she didn't bother the slightest bit to ask him about anything but was rather glued nearly naked to his body at the moment, while he was teasing her into otherworldy dimensions.  
"So the whole time you met, he didn't let anything slip? He did it these last times. Why not now? I mean what else did you do? What did you talk about?"  
Rose asked innocently now as she didn't understand why he was kind of warning her, but not telling anything about what exactly if he wanted her to be safe.

Rey's face went red when Rose asked what they did apart from not talking about this mission, while she thought about how he'd pressed her against the dresser while his hand oh so delicately glided over her naked, wet skin and how he'd made her moan just from these few touches and his mesmerizing voice. "Uh. We. We talked about the force. And about... About the time he got shot by Chewbacca. Yeah. About this and that actually."  
She tried to evade the topic but realised she was really bad at it and kept on babbling nonsense.

Rose knitted her eyebrows together in suspicion but didn't press any further. "Uh-huh. Next time you'd see each other...maybe you ask him again.  
Obviously, he doesn't want you to die, so it should be in his interest to warn you better about any upcoming danger than this."

* * *

Several days later Poe, Rose, Rey and Finn decided to go on a mission together to buy a shipment of blasters for the Resistance members, as the number of people joining them was steadily growing and they were really short on weapons for everyone.  
The contact they were supposed to meet resided on Kirdo III and their rendezvous point was at a nice tavern mostly visited by shady people and space pirates with a live performance by a big band, where they'd discuss the price and amount. They seated themselves at the wooden tables and it was a little hard to hear each other talking, as the music was quite loud but at least had a really nice rhythm.  
They ordered several drinks for themselves and waited for the merchant to arrive. Finn was really excited, as he wasn't able to sit around in bars and drink beverages while he was a stormtrooper, so after being in Maz's castle on Takodana, this was just the second time he was in some kind of tavern.

Finn excitedly looked around the bar the whole time and commented everything, like these weird instruments the band was using and the funny looking, colourful cocktails which were served to the guests. Poe was really self-confident and didn't look at all impressed as he probably was in hundreds of bars before, but just ordered his drink and talked with Rose about the model specifications they are going to order. Rey was nearly as well exited as Finn about the tavern and watched all these people chattering, dancing and playing card games, while she also enjoyed this jazzy ambience and dim light.  
Back on Jakku they didn't have taverns like that. They had places to meet and drink, but they were small, dirty and stuffed with people she didn't want to meet in a dark alley at night alone. So this was quite nice and she was pointing out things to Finn she saw here and there and they wondered together which drink they should order.

Finally, their affiliate showed up pretty late and they greeted him to immediately start the negotiations. Luckily he was a Resistance sympathizer because he heard of the return of Luke Skywalker and also his passing. In his opinion, the return of this legend meant something, was a sign, a spark of hope for things throughout the galaxy to change. He didn't know that Rey had the force too, but babbled the whole time about Jedi, balance, a return of the light and thus bringing peace by using the force for good. It was a very nice, easy going conversation and they made a great deal, as the merchant sold them his weapons for a ridiculously low price as he wanted to support their uprising.

After the deal was cut and dried, the affiliate wished them luck, waved them a hopeful "May the force be with you" and the four friends were alone again at their table. The moment the merchant left through the door, they started cheering and clinked their glasses together in festive cheer, as they never thought they would cut such a good deal.  
"Guys! Guys! This is awesome! People are getting their hopes up again, the Resistance is growing, we are getting support from all sides and people are starting to believe in us again! This is a special day and we have every right to celebrate it! Who's with me? Getting insanely drunk and pass out in our spaceship this night?  
I'm buying the first round!" Poe announced and grinned with a big smirk, while he hugged Finn and Rey, who sat next to him with one arm each while he winked at Rose.

"I'm totally in for it! Stormtroopers were never allowed to drink. Today shall be the day!" Finn declared with excitement as he gave Rose a kiss on the cheek while they high fived each other. Everybody looked at Rey and she groaned in annoyance, as she didn't know if this was a good idea, because they had to head back tomorrow morning and she had to fly the ship together with Poe. After some time she rolled her eyes and answered: "Okay - okay I'm in guys! But seriously,  
if I have a headache tomorrow morning, I'm not going to fly the ship."

"We'll take care of that Rey! I'm really good at drinking and flying!" Poe yelled out while he motioned a crashing ship with his hand.  
Rose hissed at him in anger: "Whoa, this is not funny Poe! I'm gonna stun you with my shock-prod if you just so much as think about flying drunk again.  
No flying and drinking! And Finn - if you ever go on a mission with him and he is not sober while flying, I'll punch..." She was interrupted by Poe who pulled up his hands in defence: "Hey chill Rose! It was a joke! I'm not endangering your boyfriend. I'm a totally trustworthy, responsible pilot!" He grinned widely at her.

Rey snorted out at that and muttered sarcastically: "Yeah...sure you are. Most responsible pilot in the galaxy" While she sipped on her drink in amusement.  
"Oh, I totally am! On my last birthday party, I put the ship on autopilot when I had to fly back to the base. I didn't fly by myself. I was too drunk.  
But I managed to put the wrong planet into the system and landed on Naboo instead. Which was nice anyway. Stars they have the best drinks there." Poe defended himself.

"Your last birthday party?" Finn asked a little perplex. "Why weren't we invited?"  
"Duh! 'Cause we didn't know each other yet! You were still a Buckethead at the First Order when I had this awesome party!" Poe grinned at him and punched his arm jokingly. "Oh okay. So your birthday is coming soon then?" Rey asked him doing the math, while she wondered when Finn's and Rose's birthdays are due.  
"Yeah, about two-month standard time from now. I'll invite you all this time and it will be awesome!" Poe proclaimed and laughed.

Then the pilot turned to her, eyed her for a second and acted like he was totally serious, which he wasn't: "When is your birthday actually? And - wait how old are you exactly? Rey, you have to be honest now! Did you reach your legal drinking age by now my young lady? I don't want to give out alcohol to younglings!  
That would be so illegal!"

Rey rolled her eyes and gulped down her whole drink in protest, while she grimaced at him. "Fuck legal drinking age. If I am old enough to fight an intergalactic war I am certainly old enough to drink a cocktail, Mr Poe Dameron! And because you asked so nicely: I am about nineteen and I don't know when my birthday is exactly."

"About nineteen? What kind of age is this?" Finn asked with a raised eyebrow. Rey shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know when I was born. Or at least I can't remember. Nobody told me. But I know I was about four when I was left alone on Jakku. Since then it was fifteen years." She explained with a somehow sad face as she thought back to the moment she was abandoned.  
"Oh no, Rey! That's really sad. You don't know your birthday? So you actually never celebrated it too?" Rose asked with a sad expression.  
"No. With whom? And when?" Rey asked as if it wasn't totally obvious while she drew patterns on the table with one finger.

"I got an idea! We just make up a date! Your birthday. You need a birthday, Rey! And then we celebrate it each year from now on." Finn explained as he shook Rey's arm with anticipation. "Yeah! Let's do this! When's your birthday going to be? You can pick any day you want! Isn't this pretty cool?" Poe grinned at her widely while he gulped down his drink.  
"Uhm. Uh. I don't know. My birthday? Which day? Is this important which day it is? Is there a special day I should pick? Stars. Which one? I don't know, really. Who has to pick his own birthday day? That's a hard decision." Rey pondered while she looked into the faces of her friends as she hoped somebody would help.  
"Why not today? We are already celebrating! Why not also celebrate your birthday?" Rose asked as she smiled wildly at Rey and took her hand in hers.

"Yeah! Let's celebrate it today Rey!" Finn exclaimed as he pointed at her with his index finger, then he leaned over to Rose and whispered: "That was a good idea sweety!" Rose grinned and kissed him, then looked back at Rey expectantly, waiting for her answer.  
Rey sipped at her second drink now and pondered a moment about it. Finally, she looked up again and answered: "Ok. So today marks my birthday.  
For the rest of my life! Decided together with my friends. Or to be true, decided by them. I didn't really have a word in it." She grinned widely at the others.

"So it's decided! To Rey's birthday! We wish you all the best, lot's of luck, good health, a new lightsaber, more drinks, just the best sex, tons of money, a better ship which doesn't break down all the time and totally responsible loving friends!" Poe spoke out with a wide grin and held up his glass into the air.  
"Yay! Happy birthday, Rey!" Finn hugged her and clinked his glasses together with everyone, Rose and Poe did too and Rose even started to sing a little birthday song for her with the most beautiful voice she didn't expect at all.

Rey was a little tipsy already and had to laugh at Poe's declaration, especially the 'just the best sex' part while her eyes started to tear from this moment which will forever burn into her memory.  
She finally had a birthday and her friends were with there, celebrating it all together. She never did this before and it felt so new, so heartwarming, like a blessing to her. She wasn't alone anymore but had people who cared and celebrated Rey life, because they loved her and wanted to make this day so special.  
"Aww guys! This is heartbreaking. Hahaha Especially your song Rose, this was so beautiful!" She sobbed out, while brushing away a tear, which had escaped the corner of her eye. "You all don't know how much that means to me."  
Finn laid his hand on hers and looked at her with a serious glance. "Rey. We do know how much this means to you. You are our best friend. Of course,  
we celebrate your birthday with you - and get to decide on which day it is." He grinned at her.

Rey clutched the drink between her hands and pulled it to towards her chest. "Seriously. I love you all. You are the best!"  
"You know what we are also really good at?" Poe asked with a wide grin and mischief in his eyes.  
She raised an eyebrow and answered hesitantly: "No...Having extremely stupid ideas I guess?"  
"Yes, that too. Bu no - I meant dancing!" Poe stated with nearly all his teeth showing as he smiled widely and reached out a hand to her.  
Rey looked from his hand to his face then to the space where people were already dancing, then back to his hand, to her glass and again to his hand until she understood what he was getting at. Then she suddenly shook her head from left to right and stared at the table. "Oh - no - no - no Poe. No! I don't dance. Seriously. No! I can't!"

"Oh, I bet you can! You can levitate fucking boulders. So dancing is certainly something you'd be able to do. You just don't dare to!" Poe pointed out.  
"I...I...uhm. I don't. I...I never danced. So certainly I can't." She stumbled out and looked at her drink in shame, trying to sink under the table.  
"We can all dance together. I can't dance too." Rose smiled at her.  
"Oh no! I do not dance!" Finn yelled out suddenly with panic in his eyes, now also trying to slide under the table.  
"Oh, you'll do!" Rose punched him in his arm.  
"No! No chance!" He crossed his hands and slashed them apart, while he shook his head in refusal.  
"Finn, do you really want to disappoint Rey on her birthday today? Look at her. The dancing is strong with her, she just didn't drink enough yet." Poe joked at him.  
"Stars Poe, did you just rephrase this sentence about the force into a bad joke?" Rey laughed out near tears as this was just too stupid even for his accounts.

"Yup I did! I think it was pretty good. May the drinks be with us tonight!" He proclaimed and held out his glass into the air.  
Finn smacked a hand against his forehead in annoyance, while Rey giggled at Poe's dumb word creations as she sipped on her drink.  
The music got even louder at this point and it was more difficult to hear each other talk. After some time, Poe stood up, placed his drink on the table and pointed with two fingers on Rey, then on himself as he stated: "You - me - dance - now!" Then he nodded over to the other dancing people and pulled Rey away from her chair.

Rey looked a little helpless to Finn and Rose and yelped out at them, so Rose instantly jumped up and dragged Finn behind her too.  
All of them now stood between all these moving people, with loud jazz music playing in the background and Rey stood there like she was glued to the spot and didn't know what to do at all. Poe was already moving with the beat of the music, while he laughed the whole time and started to pull Finn's arms up and tried to dance with him, while the former stormtrooper stood as stupidly as Rey there, not knowing what to do. Rose was swirling around, giggling like crazy and pulled at Rey's hands motioning her to dance with her too. Rey now had to laugh at this whole awkward situation and tried to mimic Rose a little as she stepped from one foot to the other and pulled Rose's arms forward and backwards and above their heads.

They stood in a circle and everyone started dancing with each other, taking turns with whom to dance. Rey thought they probably looked like dorks they way they danced, but for some reason, it suddenly started to make fun anyway and she didn't care anymore how it looked. She darted over to Finn, who also kind of started to move to the music now and they acted like they were doing some classical dancing as if they were a king and a queen attending a ball, but nearly tripped over their own feet laughing while doing so.

Poe snitched Rey away from Finn and swirled her around with one arm, while his other hand pointed with an index finger on her head, as he turned her around several times until she got dizzy. They were both laughing like crazy and she felt a tingling sensation flowing through her body as she still kept swirling around until he caught her in his arms and ruffled through her hair while he yelled out into her ear: "See! You can dance!"

Just the moment he had said it, she saw something some feet in front of her. It was Ben, sitting in a cross-legged position on his bed, book in his hand, his eyes widened as he stared at them both. She blinked several times and just then realized why she had these tingling feelings seconds before, it was their force being connected and he had seen her dance around with Poe right now.  
His face distorted from a surprised expression to an extremely dark frown, then he angrily snorted and shifted his position to just turn around on his bed so his back would show into her direction and he didn't have to look at her anymore.  
He kept this position and seemed to continue reading his book. Rey gulped down as she saw him, but was instantly swirled around by Poe again as he just kept on dancing with her. Of course, her friend couldn't see or know, what she was seeing right now through her connection. She tried to keep on having fun but had to look at Ben every now an then. He looked really tense and his head was bowed down as he glanced concentrated on his book.

Poe let go of her and yelled into her ear because the music was still so loud: "What is it? Already ran out of breath?"  
She looked one more time to Ben, then yelled back: "No. No Everything is alright. I think I just need some fresh air. I'm coming back in a minute."  
Poe nodded and waved at her, then turned around and continued dancing with Rose and Finn.  
She went back to the table with their drinks and took the glass in her hand, Poe just ordered for her before they stood up to dance.  
Rey left this loud tavern and went outside, it was already dark and a little chilly but not too cold.  
She looked around to find a quiet spot where she knew she would be alone and then took some step forward to Ben's bed, as she looked over his shoulder.

"What are you reading?" She asked him with a smile, as she found it sweet to see him like that, like a normal human being sitting on his bed, just reading something else which didn't have anything to do with the First Order."  
He didn't answer for some time, then just stated shortly with an annoyed voice: "A book."  
Rey knitted her eyebrows together at this short answer and said: "Yes. I am aware of that."  
"Good." He answered again and turned over the page without looking at her.  
Rey took a step forward to see the text better, which he was reading. Her stomach was nearly touching his back now and she felt his body heat radiating from him as always, which made her shiver.

She saw that he wasn't reading something with normal letters like she was used to, but something which exactly resembled the signs she saw in these sacred Jedi texts she stole from Luke.  
"You are reading some secret Jedi texts!" She gasped out in surprise.  
"No." He murmured out and turned a little bit more away from her.  
Rey was getting annoyed with his behaviour right now. Why was he acting like that? Last time he was so gentle and caring, now he's showing her the cold shoulder, trying to ignore her and didn't seem to bother forming whole sentences anymore.  
"I don't know what got into you, but I had fun just moments ago and you are kind of ruining it with your mood right now. I just asked what you are doing."  
She frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest with the glass still in her hand.

"Yes. I saw you _having fun_!" He hissed out suddenly emphasizing the word _fun_ like it was something disgusting.  
"Do you have a problem with me having fun?" Rey questioned him, still not understanding what his problem was exactly.  
"No. You can always go back to having fun with this flyboy again!" He snarled out with sarcasm in his voice.  
Just now it clicked and Rey totally understood what was going on. She had to hold back a giggle at that as she walked a step forward again to be closer to Ben's back.  
Then she leaned forward and embraced him from behind, holding the glass with one hand in front of his chest now, as the other one curled around his arm.  
He flinched at her touch and grabbed his book hard, nearly ripping its pages with his fingers from it. Then she laid her chin on his shoulder and whispered:  
"Ben Solo, are you seriously jealous right now?"

Before she even finished her sentence, he shot out a sudden: "NO!" And crossed his arms in front of him, while the book dropped down onto his bed.  
She embraced him even more and nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck with a smile. "Oh, Oh Ben. I can feel your anger radiating out right now.  
You should protect your mind better when you are trying to lie to me. I can feel everything."

He didn't say anything for a long time, but instantly raised defending walls in his mind and was incredibly tense under her touch until he asked:  
"Why were you even dancing?...with him?"  
She looked up from his neck and answered: "We were celebrating my birthday."  
"You don't know even know the day of your birth. I saw it." He muttered out.  
"Yeah but we all decided it is today." She smiled at him.

He turned his head around to look at her the first time since their conversation and just stated plainly: "This is ridiculous."  
"Why?" She asked him with a raised eyebrow.  
"Because you were probably born on another day, which is not today. You can't just choose it." He explained a little annoyed.  
"I don't care. I don't know who my parents were and I don't know when I was born. So I choose my own life and my own birthday how I want it to be."  
Ben went quiet now. She didn't know if he was trying to end this conversation because he found it to be stupid, or if he pondered about what she just said.

Rey pulled away from him slightly and raised her arm to take a sip of her drink. She immediately regretted doing so as she had to cough several times because it was too strong and burned her throat all the way to her stomach and mostly just tasted like bantha shit. "Stars! What poodoo is this?"  
Ben looked at her coughing fit now as her face went red and she brushed the sleeve against her mouth to get the taste off her lips.  
"You have a drink without knowing what it is?" He asked with knitted eyebrows.

"Yeah. I don't know. Poe gave it to me, saying it's really good stuff and I should totally taste it." She mimicked the pilot while gesturing quotation marks.  
"Oh, I wonder what else he was giving to you!" Ben snapped at her suddenly again.  
Rey had to hold back a laugh at his outburst once again and sat on his bed, next to him while she took his hand. He looked at her with an angry frown until she said:  
"Stars Ben, I don't know if I find this sweet, ridiculous or slightly horrifying when you are jealous. But to reassure you: There is nothing between me and Poe. Seriously. Nothing at all. We are friends as I am with several other people. Like I am with Finn. And yes, I know you hate him too which you gracefully showed last time you two met." She added the last sentence sarcastically but also with seriousness.

He pulled his lips to a thin line and squinted his eyes together, then he looked at her glass and just snatched it into his hand. Both wondered for a second if this would work at all, but the glass certainly stayed in his hand and he examined it for a short time before standing up and walking over to a bathroom which was connected to his room, where he just drained the liquor in the sink. "Ben! Why did you do that?" Rey yelled out agitated.

He didn't answer but walked over to a cabinet and opened one door to pull out a bottle, which he untwisted and then poured a brown liquid into her glass.  
When it was full, he stowed the bottle away again and walked back to her as he held out the glass for her to take it.  
"Oh..." She just mumbled and reached out her hand, but hesitated before taking it, because she wasn't sure if she'd be able to hold it through their connection again.  
When she took it, it felt like before and she looked at the dark liquid he poured in it and swayed the glass around a little to examine it.  
"I didn't know this would work. I mean, taking objects from me to you and back again. This is pretty interesting." She smiled at him.  
He crossed his arms in front of his chest and answered: "Yes it is. I didn't know if I'd be able to take the glass or even use it. But obviously, it works for now."

She grinned as she thought about their new discovery and pulled the drink up to her nose to smell it, while she asked a little flirtingly: "So you invited me on a drink now?" He stared at her intensely and was still a bit tense, but then shifted his weight a little to stand more comfortable and answered: "Yes."  
"So...I guess I'm gonna taste it now. I hope it's better than the last one." Rey giggled as she brushed the glass against her bottom lip to take a sip.  
She closed her eyes afterwards and licked her lips while letting out a small groan. "Wow...Oh, Maker! What is this? This is so fucking good!"

Ben still stared at her, but his lips were pressed together a bit like he was suppressing a grin. "Hazelnut liquor." He simply stated.  
Then he walked back to his bed, where she still was and sat back down again next to her.  
"You didn't get a glass Ben! You've got to celebrate my birthday with me too you know!" She teased and punched him jokingly into his arm as she was already a bit drunk.  
He rolled his eyes at that and took the glass out of her hand again, then took some gulps too and gave it back. "Here you go." He smiled just the slightest bit at her,  
which made her inside tickle with excitement as it was something intimate for her to share a glass with him like that. She was absolutely sure he would never do this with anybody else in the whole galaxy.

Oh, how she would like to just grab him and plant a kiss on these sweet grinning lips right now, especially when they tasted like hazelnut liquor right now.  
How'd he even know she would like it that much? Was he even aware how sweet he sometimes was? In his own twisted way.  
But she didn't feel like right now was the right time to just jump him and devour him completely, even if there was pretty much nothing else she would love to do more than this right now.  
So she asked once more with a grin on her lips, hoping his mood was a bit more positive after their small talk: "So I'll ask again, hopefully, the alcohol will loosen your tongue. What were you reading right now, which looks exactly like my sacred Jedi texts?"

He indeed didn't look so tense anymore, but she doubted it was because of the alcohol, as a man of his size would have to drink a lot to just feel dizzy at all she thought.  
"Sacred Sith texts. The ones I showed you in my vision." He answered and she was happy, he was talking in whole sentences again.  
Rey was a little worried right now why he was studying these sith texts all of sudden, as she didn't want him to reach any further into the dark side anymore.  
"Why did you start reading these again? Wasn't it enough how Snoke tortured you with them?" She asked and took another sip from her extremely tasty liquor.

"I worked something out and had to re-read some of these texts to be able to do so." Ben explained as he stood up and walked to a table in the back of his room.  
From there he took a scroll of paper which laid on the metallic surface and went back to the bed to sit down again with the object in his palm.  
"Consider it as your 'birthday present' then if you want to give a bantha tick about it. If it worked with the glass, it should work with this too so you can already take it with you now." He handed over the scroll to Rey and she put the glass down between her legs to hold it steady and pulled her arms up to take the paper with both hands in awe.

She carefully unrolled it and saw several inked signs all over it in some kind of spreadsheet design. There were all these signs she saw in the Jedi books, as well as the normal letters she was able to read too right under them. "Oh, stars...Ben...Is this a translation chart?" Rey asked and her eyes widened in disbelief, while she let the scroll sink down a bit to look at Ben's face.

"Yes. But they won't help you understand these texts you've stolen. You can just translate the letters now. You still need to be able to understand the language and the meaning behind the sentences as they are really metaphorical written mostly. But it's a start."

"Are we even allowed to have a translation chart? I mean there surely was a reason why this knowledge was passed down from master to apprentice and not being written down in some database." Rey asked sceptically while brushing her fingers over these beautifully written signs in his handwriting.  
Ben tipped his chin a little down and raised his eyebrows in a questioning way as he rhetorically asked: "Is there anybody in the whole galaxy left alive with fanatical beliefs who'd forbid it? Who tells us what is right or wrong? I don't think so. So we could..." He stopped himself suddenly as if he was about to say something, he didn't want to confess.

"...We could translate them together." She finished his sentence. "Is this what you wanted to say?"  
He stared at her for some time and nodded slowly, then looked down at his hands which he balled into fists as if he tried to deny his thoughts and feelings.  
"Ben. I promise. As soon as I am back on the base, I'm gonna start translating all these texts from the books with this chart. And whenever the force connects us we can work together to understand their meaning. This is something I would love to do with you and I am not scared to give to have this knowledge. I...I think I might trust you about this. I hope I can. This is actually _the best_ and most important birthday present I could ever have imagined. And the first one I ever received by the way.  
Thank you so much." She smiled fully at him now and took his hand in hers.

Ben's eyes were fixed on hers again and he squeezed her hand gently, while he ran his thumb along her palm, slowly caressing her.  
"Do you stay on the base for some time now?" He asked suddenly.  
Rey was a little bewildered from him changing this topic so fast, but she answered: "I don't know. I might go on missions if there is something to do.  
You know I can't tell you which ones." Rey answered truthfully with hurt in her eyes as she hated having these secrets to each other.  
"I know you can't. But...Is there any mission in the upcoming weeks for you? In...in the Outer Rim for example? You don't need to tell me which." He nearly pleaded now with his lip pressed together as if he wanted to say something important.

Rey huffed out in desperation. "Okay, Ben. I know this is hard. I hate this too, I hate that we have to hide things from each other. But: First: I can't tell you, mostly I get my missions with just a short time to prepare, so I might not know which kind of mission I'll get next week. Second: If I'd know right now, I wouldn't tell you as it would endanger us. I am sorry. But what is going to happen in the Outer Rim? Are you planning an attack? Something...I don't know...something I would be mad about?  
Which would pose a danger to us or civilians? Please tell me...anything at all!"

Ben hung his head down in defeat and pressed his palm against his face and she could see he was troubled by all these secrets they needed to hide from each other and that something else was bugging him intensely.  
"I can't tell you either. It would expose my link with you immediately. I...just hope you don't go on any mission right now. Or better not at all." He mumbled out beneath his palm with a raspy voice.

"Okay. I...I don't know how to cope with all this. Whatever you are trying to tell me, without telling me, I'll consider this, but I won't make any promises. I don't want you to get exposed, as I think the First Order would not just put you into the Millenium Falcon for three days while friends bring you cake and beer. Unless you finally want to join me, then you can totally get exposed afterwards in my opinion." She grinned at him with a sad smile.

"You are not taking this seriously at all, don't you? You can die. Every time you fight against the First Order, you could be killed at the hands of my men.  
I will not be able to prevent this forever." He hissed out between gritted teeth and anger in his eyes.

"Oh yes, I am taking this seriously Ben. But the same could happen to you. You could also get killed or at least hurt by our side. I would also not be able to prevent it."  
She answered with vigour in her voice.

"No, they wouldn't be able to do so. The Resistance is weak." He snarled with disgust.  
"If you allow me to remind you, you got shot my Chewbacca, stabbed by Finn, nearly killed twice by me and was just a second away from being blown to bits by us destroying Starkiller base and we destroyed a Dreadnaught and Snoke's ship. So tell me again about us being weak."  
Ben instantly shut up and looked at her with wide eyes, while he pressed his lips together stubbornly, which looked quite cute, as she just realized.

They stared at each other for several seconds until he moved forward to her and reached out his arms to pull her into him.  
Suddenly he embraced her just like that, while they were sitting on his bed as she still held the scroll he gave her before in one hand and pulled the other around his back to press her body against his too.  
They never embraced this way and she could feel his heart beating against hers, while she could swear they were beating exactly in the same rhythm again, as it was hard to distinguish which heartbeat belonged to whom. She had so many emotions running through her right now, as well as some of his which bled just right through their body contact right now, her breath started to grow heavier while she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and pulled even tighter into his embrace.

After some seconds and an overwhelming feeling of closeness, she started to plant small kisses on his neck, without moving her lips away from his skin, making quiet smacking noises while doing so. She needed to feel him, be closer and taste him, get more of his wonderful smell, touch his skin.  
Ben instantly drew in a sharp breath the first time she did it and sunk his fingertips into her flesh so much it nearly started to hurt but was still pleasant.  
Rey brushed a thick black strand of hair to the side, to have better access to his skin and she could feel him shiver under her touch.  
Then she kissed a slow, wet way up his neck and wandered up to his jawline just under his ear. When she looked up, without stopping his eyes were closed, but his mouth opened a little and he slightly panted while still having an iron grip on her.

"Rey..." Finally, he moaned out her name from the back of his throat in some warning manner as she was nearing the corner of his lip right now.  
He opened his eyes again to look at her and they trembled slightly with so many emotions and want she could get lost in them in an instant.

Just when she was about to take the last inch and finally brush her lips against his wonderful puffy ones, he was gone. With him vanished the bed she sat on before,  
which meant she just rolled down on all fours as if she fell from the sky.  
"Fuck NO! Not again!" She cried out loud and stood up angrily to kick the wall of the house next to her.  
Then she remembered the scroll which was luckily still in her hand. So objects don't disappear when the connection breaks off. Good to know, she thought.  
Rey looked around to search for the liquor he gave her and realized the glass was gone. Great, it was still with him and she didn't get to drink any more of it.  
She huffed out but then had to smile a bit. At least he had something from her too right now.

* * *

 **Man so close again. Damn the force!**  
 **Rey finally has a birthday and danced for the first time. She deserved a birthday in my opinion.**  
 **May the drinks be with you!**


	13. Chapter 13: Play

"Oh, you certainly took your time outside cinnamon roll!" Poe slurred now completely drunk while she approached her friends again who had ceased dancing and resumed sitting at the same table from before. Finn and Rose were play-fighting and giggling like crazy, while he jokingly tried to pour some of his drink into her mouth, which she tried to fend off by tickling him.  
"Cinnamon roll? What kind of name is this Poe?" Rey questioned him with knitted eyebrows and ordered a beer as she didn't have anything else to drink anymore.  
Finn and Rose stopped their play-fighting and the former stormtrooper yelled out as he pointed with his finger at her face: "It's your hair Rey! It looks like cinnamon rolls!"

"What? It totally does not!" She pouted and crossed her arms stubbornly in front of her chest.  
"Yeah, it does! Like three cinnamon rolls!" Poe cheered and laughed while he gulped down his glass of whatever he was drinking right now again.  
"Roooose?" Rey desperately cried out and glanced over at the other girl, hoping she would help her and tell the others that her hair doesn't look like that at all.  
Rose took a sip of her drink, her gaze started to get very serious suddenly and everybody went quiet in an instant, awaiting her answer as if she were a referee.

Then she overdramatically banged her glass down on the table and confirmed: "Cinnamon roll - it is!"  
The three of them cheered and high fived each other, while Rey groaned in annoyance.  
Hours went by and the alcohol kept flowing until everyone was absolutely wasted. They kept on joking about Rey's hair, then about Finn's and Rose's height difference, then about Poe making fun of 'General Hugs' and they started to come up with lots of other nicknames how to call the general next time they'd meet.  
Rey's favourites by far were: General Sux, Gingerbread, Carrot, Angry space muffin and General Schmucks.

After a really long, entertaining evening, they decided to go back to their ship, as Rose already started to fall asleep on Finn.  
Poe and Rey had to support Finn because he was so drunk he stumbled over his own feet every other step, while Rose suddenly was totally awake again when they went outside, finally getting some fresh air and she was running around and jumping excitedly cheering them on for walking nearly a straight line.  
Rey laughed like crazy the whole time, babbling total nonsense with Finn and at some point tried to levitate him with the force, as he was so heavy to support,  
but it didn't work and they fell down together, pulling Poe to the ground with them.  
When they finally reached their ship, Rey instantly crashed down into the seating area, while Poe decided to sit on the ramp and drink one more beer,  
while Rose and Finn decided to build something like a fort out of some blankets they found.

Everybody fell asleep after some time and slept in until the late morning. Rey woke up as she still laid on her stomach in the sitting area, which was definitely too small to be sleeping on it, so her legs dangled over the edge and her whole body ached from lying so uncomfortable the whole time.  
She groaned and pulled herself up, feeling the throbbing pain starting to form in her head, while she pulled up her palm to press it against her forehead in annoyance.  
She stumbled outside and saw Finn and Rose sleeping on the floor totally buried under layers of blankets and jackets, entangled with each other in the sweetest way.  
Poe was also awake already and stood outside with a wrench, while he was screwing around somewhere at the outer hull of the ship.

"Stars...Poe, you already working?" Rey groaned out with one eye open and one closed one.  
"Hey there cinnamon roll, how is your head?" He grinned widely at her, seemingly totally awake and not at all hungover like she was.  
"My head tells me right now, that it hates me." She moaned out and plopped down on the earthy ground next to him as dizziness hit her.

"You know, drinking is really bad for you Rey!" He scolded her jokingly with a wagging finger.  
"Seriously Poe, you are an ass. How come you aren't having a hangover?" She asked while he gave her the wrench and started hammering against the ships outer hull with a hammer to flatten out a bent metal plate. He plainly answered with a big grin: "Training." And kept on hammering.  
With every beat, Rey flinched as she thought her head is going to explode any second until she used the force to pull it out of his hand suddenly because she couldn't take it anymore.

"Maker...Poe...Stop this, it's killing me!" She groaned out in annoyance.  
This moment Finn stumbled out of the ship and yelled out: "Which damn idiot is hammering against the ship? Seriously I'm gonna strangle you!"  
Then he looked at Rey, who held the hammer in her hand and groaned out: "Rey are you crazy?"  
"It wasn't me!" She yelled out and threw the hammer in front of her on to the ground, then kicked it even further away with her foot to make it clear she wasn't the crazy one.

Finn walked over and sat next to Rey too, as he held his head between both hands and moaned out:  
"Kriff...Now I understand why we were never allowed to drink back then as stormtroopers. I feel like bantha shit!"

"You are clearly not made for drinking guys! Yesterday was nothing, let's wait 'till it's my birthday. Yesterday was just the beginning!" Poe exclaimed with a wide grin. Finn and Rey just groaned simultaneously and threw up their hands in frustration against their heads.  
Meanwhile, Rose was also awake and jumped out of the ship like nothing happened and she was totally well rested, yelling out absolutely motivated:  
"What's up folks! We gonna go back to our base now or what?"

"Stars Finn, how does she do that?" Rey whispered to her friend, who just shook his head in disbelief and answered: "I don't know, I think she drank even more than I did yesterday. She is no human. I am one hundred percent sure about that." Rey nodded and groaned once more as her head started hurting again from the movement.  
"Rose and I will pilot the ship and you two get back to sleep. I am not able to watch you any longer like that, you two look like bantha fodder!"  
"Yeah...oh maker...sleep. Stars. I'm gonna get some more sleep." Rey groaned out and groggily went back to the ship as Finn followed her in a similar fashion.

* * *

Several days after they celebrated Rey's birthday, Leia called Poe and Rey into her office to tell them about a deal she is going to wrap up on the planet Cantonica about receiving several hundred spaceships for the Resistance. Over the span of the last weeks, their numbers kept growing significantly by the news of Luke Skywalker returning and passing, as well as the near obliteration of the Resistance has spread fast now and they were gifted with support from different corners all over the galaxy.  
They truly survived like the last spark of a dying fire which was now on its way to burning brightly again. Whilst several other planets just kept on bowing to the First Order, there were lots of individuals who wanted to support the Resistance from the underground and didn't care to wait until their politicians decided to maybe do something against the conquest of the galaxy by the First Order.  
This caused them to to change their focus from intercepting First Order actions, to travelling around the galaxy, picking up supporters, as well as wrapping up deals to extend their fleet again and establish a basis once more, from which they'd be able to work as a threat to be taken seriously by the Order again.

Leia explained the deal which was going to be wrapped up with one of the casino owners, who simultaneously was in the possession of several battleship manufactories, as he feared about paying taxes to the First Order soon while they conquer the galaxy.  
He was not a supporter by heart, but at least so frightened to lose his money that he'd go as far as supporting the rebels with a good deal of ships.  
He wanted to talk to Leia personally because he feared to be in danger when somebody finds out about it and didn't want to talk just to some 'low-reb commander'  
as he called them.

Leia wanted to take Rey with her as her personal bodyguard, as well as Poe as the commander for the fleet of ships they are going to collect on the other side of the planet after the deal is through.  
They'd take about thirty rebels with them, who'd be piloting the ships and to be sure everything would be going according to plan.  
Finn, Rose as well as BB-8 weren't allowed to aid them, as they had a wanted status on this planet after their last visit, where they demolished half of the casinos with the liberation of the Fathiers.

Rey got a bit nervous, as this was her first mission again after Ben warned her about doing exactly that, whatever it was.  
While sitting together with Poe and Leia in the office, Rey decided to tell them her worries and ask them for advice on this.  
"Leia? I have to ask you something. You know that I still keep communicating with Ben." She started carefully.  
"Yes. Go on." Leia leaned back in the seat and folded her hands on the table in front of her expectantly.  
Poe watched her with interest too, because he didn't know she talked to Ben since the last time again and he wondered when it happened.  
"Okay. So, the force connected us two times over the past weeks. The first time, he told me to take care and the second time he begged me to not go on any missions right now for the next weeks in the Outer Rim. I really can't say if he knows about something that is going to happen, or if he generally doesn't want me to go out on missions anymore." Rey started to explain.

"Of course he doesn't want you to go out on a mission. You pose a great danger to the goals of the First Order and get in his way often enough." Leia said calmly with a slight grin on her lips. Rey pondered about it for some time before answering: "Yes. That might be right. But I've got the feeling he was truly concerned.  
Like he was losing control of the situation, or at least isn't able to control it fully. He told me about 'his men' killing me someday, which he wouldn't be able to prevent. He also feared to expose our connection if he'd tell me any further details. And he specifically wanted to know if I go on any mission in the upcoming weeks."

"Yes, because if he'd know about you going on a mission right now he can conclude which one it is, given the time you are going. For example our attempt at intercepting the carpet bombing of the planet: If he'd knew you are going on a mission in that specific span of time, he'd knew there'd be a chance we're going to interrupt it. This is him, trying to find out information about the Resistance Rey! I know he can be really persuasive, but you have to read between the lines.  
Do not forget he is the leader of the biggest military organisation which is on the brink of conquering the galaxy. It might sound like he is concerned, but he still needs the information you can provide by telling him some, in your opinion unspecific things like this, it doesn't matter how unimportant you think them to be.  
He certainly can work with them and use these against our cause. Why do you think I see this link you two share as so extremely dangerous to our organisation?"  
Leia lectured her suddenly.

Rey dipped her head down and her mind raced as she thought about what Leia just told her.  
"Do you really think your son to be this coldhearted and calculating?" Rey asked her with doubt and a little hurt, as she didn't want to believe this.  
Leia went quiet for several seconds and just stared at her with her eyes squinted together slightly. This reminded her instantly of Ben, as he also looked at her this way if she questioned him about pressing matters he didn't want to talk about.  
"No. I do not. But I think he has goals he wants and needs to achieve to stay in the position he is in right now." She answered as she pressed her lips together.  
Which was also something Ben often does, Rey just now realized. She instantly started to wonder if he knows how similar he was to his mother with these facial expressions sometimes.

"Ok. Whatever his reasons were to ask Rey these things and warn her to not go on any missions. How do we proceed? Is Rey coming with us, or isn't she?"  
Poe asked, uncertain of what to do right now.  
"That - Rey is up to you. In contradistinction to the First Order, _our_ _people_ joined on their own accord and are free to decide if they want to take a mission or not.  
Which also applies to you of course." Leia answered with emphasis as she leaned back in her chair.

Rey groaned and leaned back too as she was thinking about what to do. Leia had a point obviously. Of course, Ben wants to reach certain goals, even if he does it differently than Snoke before, but he still has plans for the galaxy which he is pursuing with the possibilities the position as the Supreme Leader of First Order is giving him.  
But she also believes that he is not just set out on snatching information from her. Apart from his obvious worried behaviour, him telling her that he is concerned,  
she was able to feel his emotion. And she was sure he was not able to fake them, to fake his fear for her to be killed or hurt. She knew he truly meant what he said, but maybe he had two goals in his mind when talking to her: Protecting her, as well as getting information out from her to support his cause.  
Actually, if she thought about it for some time longer, that was exactly what she was doing to him the whole time too.  
Feeling real emotions for him, compassion and love, but on the other side trying to interpret his sayings and behaviour to a point where it could give her information about anything regarding the First Order.  
Suddenly Rey felt really backstabbing about doing so and she asked herself how he felt about it, knowing she would turn everything he says around twice in her mind to run back to her Resistance friends after every force connection to tell them everything which might be important to their cause. It certainly hurt her that he might use everything she says to his advantage, but more so over she realized it must hurt him too.

After some time and a long silence, Poe leaned forward to look at her with raised eyebrows and questioned her: "Sooooooo? Base to Rey? Hello?"  
Rey snapped out of her inward thinking and looked at him, then to Leia to declare: "I...I think I'll go. I believe him. But if it would be truly dangerous for me,  
I believe he would certainly warn me in a more specific way or abandon whatever he means with his warning. Also, it's not like I am a damsel in distress who doesn't know how to defend herself or fly a ship. Even if something would happen, I'll find a way to defend myself. More so over, if it's dangerous for me, it certainly is even more dangerous for you Leia to go without somebody guarding you. So I'll be honoured to take this mission and aid you and the Resistance."

* * *

They were on their way to Cantonica now and Rey sat together with the other thirty rebels in a room of a ship and listened to Leia giving a speech at how the evening will proceed today. Rey, Poe and several other rebels would go to one of the casinos to meet up with their supporter a.k.a business affiliate, whilst the other's will wait on the ship until they get a signal to pick them up again after the deal was wrapped up to proceed to the battleship factory afterwards to acquire the promised spaceships.

Poe stayed back with the others, so Rey and Leia were the only ones who left the ship. They both wore long robes with cowls pulled over their heads, so nobody could recognize their faces from afar while walking alongside the beach in front of the casinos until they reached the bureau of the person they are going to meet. They met several people on their way, but nobody seemed to recognize or mind them, so they just kept on walking silently.  
They were greeted by a woman who briefly checked them and made a body scan with a small device she carried with her, to find out if they carried anything else then Rey's and Leia's weapons and a communicator, then let them pass through the door to the office after she took these objects away safely.  
Leia and Rey greeted a man in his mid-fifties, his hair started to grey at the roots, but it was still gracefully combed backwards. His clothes looked extremely neat and expensive and he wore several gold ornaments on them as well as two golden rings with prominent crystals in them.

He greeted them really friendly and offered seats and something to drink. After the formalities were done, Leia and he instantly started the negotiations in a diplomatic manner. Rey had never seen Leia in action but she was a really tough businesswoman and she certainly knew what she was talking about when they were bargaining about prices and conditions. It was obvious both of them wanted to have the best cost-benefit ratio and it took some time, while Rey sat next to them in silence.

Everything was going very well until there was a knock on the door, to which the man replied: "Come in please." And the woman who checked them at the door before walked in. "What is it, my dear?" He asked with a wide grin and a wave of his hand, motioning her to come forward.  
She cleared her throat and answered: "There seems to be a problem at one of our doors. I got an incoming alarm but no response from our security team yet."  
The man didn't appear to be shocked, but just answered: "That's a little unusual, but certainly nothing serious."

Rey gulped down as she suddenly felt something in the back of her head, which yelled 'danger' into her mind, but she couldn't just jump up and run outside with Leia right now as they still had to wrap up the deal. She looked over to the general and their eyes met. Leia just raised an eyebrow and just so slightly shrugged her shoulders, then glanced over at the man again.

"Let's take a look at our monitors and we'll surely find out." He suggested and turned around in his chair to press some buttons on a control board inside a shelf in front of him, so a huge monitor lowered itself from the ceiling and several different camera perspectives were shown on it.  
He looked at them and his fingers were drumming nervously on the armrest of his chair as he looked at every picture.  
Rey, Leia and the woman looked too and tried to see what might have caused the alarm.  
"I don't see anything unusual." He said after several seconds a little perplex.

On one little screen in the left corner, there was suddenly some hasty movement as one of the guests flew over a table and a darkly dressed person entered the area.  
Rey pointed instantly on the monitor and yelled: "There! Can you make this one bigger?"  
The man nodded and enhanced the live stream of the camera Rey pointed to.  
Her heart nearly stopped when it was big enough to see everything clearly and she was able to exactly see who this darkly dressed person was.  
Leia and she gasped out simultaneously and jumped up from their chairs.  
It was Ben, followed by two other darkly dressed figures with helmets and readied weapons in their hands.  
"FUCK! It's Ben!" Rey yelled out and exchanged concerned glances with Leia.  
The man looked at them both puzzled and asked without a clue: "Who are these men? They don't look like normal thugs. Who is Ben? Do you know them? Where is my security?"  
"It is Kylo Ren. Supreme Leader of the First Order. The other ones are the Knights of Ren. Part of his personal army." Leia explained with a monotone voice.

All the colour left the face of the man and he collapsed into his chair with panic in his eyes. "They found out! They found out I'd wanted to sell ships to you.  
Oh no, oh no they found out. Stars somebody help us!" He repeated while he stared in shock on the monitor.  
They could hear Ben talking now over the microphone of the camera and everybody went silent to listen.

He stood in the middle of the room with one knight to each side of him and he announced: "Listen - you _entitled fucks_!" Rey nearly laughed out at that, when she heard the first thing he did when talking to these rich casino guests was insulting them. But she suppressed it and continued listening.  
"The First Order received information about a major deal or shipment which is taking place today in support of the group, which calls themselves 'The Resistance'.  
I am sure you are well aware of how we stand to each other and that the First Order does not accept deals which are being made in their support or favour.  
We know most of you are connected in a network of different business, benefitting from each other and some of you certainly work with the person, who is wrapping up this deal with the Resistance tonight. I am absolutely sure we have one or more persons in this room, who like to come forward now and tell me the name and the factory of the man we are seeking. You shall reveal yourself now and tell us or we are forced to take further steps." Ben waved his hand and several stormtroopers went in through the doors of the casino and blocked the entrances. There was a panicked murmuring among the people and they ducked down, as they didn't know what will happen and if they are getting killed now.

They watched the whole scene with open mouths and Rey turned around to Leia and asked: "What do we do now? Do we flee? He'll definitely find us!"  
Leia didn't answer, but questioned the casino owner with underlying pressure: "How tight was your security about our deal? Who else knows about this?  
Does anybody in this room down there know?"  
He instantly yelled out: "Nobody knows, except for me and my lady over here! I am not crazy and risk my life with anybody knowing about it! I just wanted to make some quick money, before they take it away from me. I'd be stupid to tell anybody!"

Ben started talking again as he walked forwards to the frightened people, who sat and kneeled all around the gambling tables in the room.  
"I am devastated to see, nobody volunteered to tell us. As announced we will take further action now. He pulled one man up from his chair, while he cried out in panic and begged to not be killed. Ben raised his hand and positioned it against the head of the man, who started screaming and grunting for several seconds until he suddenly stopped and glanced a little confused around.  
The two knights walked forward, pulled the man away and brought him to the door with the troopers, where he was lead outside, as Ben pulled up the next person and did the same. This one didn't scream but grunted out in pain as he tried to ward off the mind prying, which just made it worse. Again Ben let him go and the knights guided him to the door afterwards.

The next man Ben pulled forward looked really panicked and shivered the whole time, he ducked away and screamed before anything happened to him at all.  
"Shut it and stop moving!" Ben ordered, which made the man wiggle around even more in fear.  
Ben wasn't able to use his force mind reading like that, so he pushed the man with his upper body on the green table and raised his hand above his head.  
Just then the man started screaming: "Please don't! Don't! I can give you what you want! Anything! I give you anything you want!"  
"I don't want anything except information." Ben gritted out between his teeth.  
"I don't have any!" The man yelled out.

"We'll see." Ben answered and again wanted to use the force, but the man screamed once more: "What do you want? I give it to you! Money? Woman? You want women? I give them to you for free!"  
Ben's expression distorted with disgust at the offers, so he pushed the head of the man down onto the table and used the force to read his mind.  
The guy screamed the whole time until it was over and Ben let go of him, as the knights were about to bring him to the door.  
Again the man started screaming: "Where are you bringing me? What are you going to do? Please, I don't want to die! I give you anything! Don't like women?  
I can give you children! Young girls? Got them too! You get all of them, please don't kill me!"

Ben let out an angry groan now and walked over to the man in an instant, grabbed the back of his head and punched his face down several times against the edge of the wooden table with cracking noises until his whole skin was bloody and his nose wasn't able to be recognized anymore. After he stopped screaming,  
but just gurgled from all the blood in his mouth, he fell to the floor as Ben kneeled down and hissed at him: "People like you are the worst scum in the galaxy!"  
Then he was dragged out by the two knights again like the others before him.

Leia's eyes widened and she held a hand in front of her mouth in shock from this brutal scene. The casino owner did the same and seemed pretty shaken.  
Rey was also shocked, but not so much, as it wasn't the first time she had seen Ben kill other people, which he even didn't do right now.  
Also, she thought this guy kind of deserved it and she was more than surprised that Ben didn't just behead him with his lightsaber.

The next person was pulled forward, it was a woman and she instantly started to cry and whimper not to get killed: "I don't know anything, please don't hurt me!"  
Ben held her steady and used the force on her, but it was obvious he wasn't as rude as he was with the guys before, until a small smirk appeared on his lips: "Oh no, you don't know anything. But you saw everything I need to know."

"Who is this? What does she know?" Leia instantly hissed at the casino owner and turned around to him.  
"I don't know! I don't know who she is, but she is a regular guest here. Still, I don't know her!" He answered in panic and held up his hands in defence.  
Then it clicked in Rey's mind: "She doesn't know anything about the deal, but she saw us or the ship today and might know where we went.  
He recognized us in her memories. That's what he meant! We need to go - now!"

Leia stood up from the chair, took her communicator from the other woman and messaged Poe in an instant: "Poe! The First Order is here, they know about our deal and are searching for us right now. We need to bolt. Get the ship up in the air and wait for my command. We are going to escape and you've got to pick us up as fast as possible." "Fuck! Shit! How'd they found that out? I can't believe this! Tell me in an instant if you need any air or ground support, we are ready!" Poe yelled back through the device.

"Where do we get out from here, without running through the entrance where we entered? We need another way, they might be searching for us exactly there!"  
Leia questioned the owner hesitantly.  
He pondered for a second, then pointed to a door and answered: "Down the corridor, to the left, second hallway to the right, down the stairs for three levels,  
to the left, then down to the stables. There is a door, where you can escape. I hope." Rey nodded thankfully and asked: "What about you?"  
"I've got an escape pod underwater for my wife and me, which we can reach through a tunnel from here. Unfortunately made for just two people. I wish you the best! If they don't destroy my factory, you can take the ships for free! I really don't want to have any more trouble!" He stood up in an instant and took the hand of the woman who stood silently next to them the whole time as they both left through one door and were gone in an instant.

Leia thanked them and turned around to Rey with a serious gaze: "Let's get going. We don't have much time!"  
Rey readied her blaster and they both bolted out of the room, Leia was still very agile for her age which was really fortunate for this moment.  
The corridors were free, apart from some personnel which jumped to the side in surprise when the two women were running down the hallways with the gold ornaments and the red wallpapers all around. Just when they reached the last left-hand turn before the stables, two stormtroopers walked around the corner so Rey and Leia started to immediately shoot at them before they were able to shoot back. The troopers dropped down fast and they kept running forward, but glanced around the corner first, before they entered the stables.

The coast seemed clear and they advanced through the stables without any interference. Meanwhile, they had shed their robes as they were obstructing them while running and it was obvious the First Order knew how they'd look anyway. When they finally reached the last door, they opened it to finally go outdoors and were instantly surprised by two more stormtroopers so they hid behind a wall fast, while having a wild blasterfire exchange.  
They saw an approaching ship in the distance and Rey screamed out: "Leia! Look, it's Poe! We just have to get through here, then we can hop on!"  
Leia pulled the communicator out again, while still shooting and yelled: "Poe! We're at the stables, we've got two stormtroopers here, when we got them, we'll run over to the ship and hop on, prepare the ramp and cover us!"

Rey finally hit one, thanking Finn for the training he gave her with blasters and instantly hid behind the wall again: "One left!"  
Leia nodded and kept shooting, as well as Rey did. After some time, the general yelled out: "Yes got him! Go Rey! Now!"  
They instantly ran forward, while the ship flew low in front of a cliff, so they'd be able to jump on and instantly fly away.  
Leia ran in the front, while Rey was behind her to protect her from any incoming attacks.

There were stormtroopers suddenly coming from one side of the open field and Rey started shooting at them, as well as they did.  
Under wild blasterfire, they were nearing the ship finally and Rey decided to levitate Leia on the ramp as this was faster than running.  
Leia cried out in surprise but landed safely on the ramp, while Rey kept running and ducking away from the shots. Unfortunately, she couldn't levitate herself.  
Several rebels stood together with Leia on the ramp and shot at the troopers, trying to protect Rey, so she would reach them too.

Suddenly Rey felt her skin tickle and she instantly knew Ben was approaching. Normally she would be excited in a positive way but given the circumstances,  
she was not at all, but was rather scared as she didn't know what he'll do with his knights and several stormtroopers in tow.  
She turned her head around to see two darkly dressed figures running in her direction with raised lightsaber in their hands, while Ben ran behind them too with his red glowing cross lightsaber and screamed something at them.  
Rey's eyes widened and she tried to run even faster, while still avoiding the shots. Then she saw the ship pulling away from the cliff a bit, as several stormtroopers stood directly in front of it and shot at the opened ramp now and the engines. Well shit, she wasn't able to get on it like that. As there was no chance to board it at the moment and she had nearly reached the end of the cliff, she turned around and shot at the knights who were running in her direction ready to attack any second.

They deflected her shots with swirling electro vibroblades and kept approaching, while she stumbled backwards desperately and tried to fire at them.  
"Get back to the casino and look for the seller! NOW!" Ben suddenly yelled an order to them and kept running. As they didn't turn around on his command and were just about to reach Rey anyway, he pulled his arm forward and force pushed them backwards, away from her. "FOLLOW YOUR DAMN COMMAND KNIGHTS! This girl is mine to take care of!" He yelled out so loud and angry Rey felt terrified. The shooting between the stormtroopers and the ship with the rebels continued behind her and everything seemed to happen in slow motion from now on.

The pushed back knights steadied themselves again and turned around with an angry posture to Ben as if they were about to attack him, while he walked forward with an outstretched hand to Rey and force pushed her backwards. Like on reflex, she stretched out her hand and force pushed him too, as she did in the throne room back then when they fought over Luke's lightsaber.  
Again the air started to swirl around their bodies and pushed them apart from each other as the powerful force surrounded everything.  
Rey's whole body started to shake from it and she screamed with all her effort to hold it against him.

He took several straining steps forward with all his might, as their power clashed against each other until the earth under their feet started to shake.  
They were just a few feet apart from each other now until she felt him pressing into her mind. First, she tried to push him out, but for some reason, it didn't feel hostile, so she let him slip in just the slightest bit, letting that little bit of trust he gained since these last weeks win over in her head.  
The moment she opened a little, his voice was in her head in an instant. " _I'm gonna break off the cliff, hold onto me as soon as we fall! Push back with all your might now!"_

Her eyes widened and he pushed so much raw force power into her direction she nearly stumbled backwards over the end of the rock.  
She screamed and pushed back, to not fall and her foot already slipped over the edge as she lost her balance.  
The whole cliff started to quake dangerously now and he still took several steps forward as he pushed even more. Rey heard screams of the rebels on the ship behind her, crying out for her not to fall down. Then she heard such a loud crack, her ears started to hurt from it and she felt the earth moving under her feet, as she instantly slipped and fell backwards. Ben slid forwards into her direction as the whole cliff broke into several pieces and severed itself from the ground.

When Rey glimpsed downwards while falling, she saw it was insanely high and there was no way she is going to live through this as she felt the air against her body rushing around so fast as well as large boulders flying directly next to her head. Then she felt a hand on one arm and her eyes darted over to Ben, who was falling down with her too. One last panicked glance at him, before they reached the water and she was sure she is going to die.

But he held out his other hand and slowed their fall just a little with an equally stressed expression on his face, before they plunged right through the water surface, luckily seconds after the large boulders crashed down.  
The water was so dark and cold and they went so deep down from the high fall, Rey lost all her orientation and didn't know where the surface was. She couldn't see anything and it still felt like they were going deeper and deeper with every passing second. Her ears already started to hurt from the difference in pressure and she felt her body swirl around from strong underwater streams. She could still feel his hand on her arm and without seeing him, she finally took a grip on his wrist and pulled her to him as both of them were pushed into some direction the water stream was flowing to.

Then Rey felt a strong pull as something loud drummed against her ears and she instantly knew why there was this strong stream. They were nearing a waterfall and were moments before falling down from it. Just when she thought it would happen, Ben pulled her closer to his body and buried her nails in his arms,  
as she too pulled herself into him until once again she felt like falling down, but underwater now.  
She wanted to scream, but couldn't open her mouth due to the water all around her and the lack of air in her lungs. She already started to feel dizzy from not breathing the whole time and all this pushing and pulling by the water and was just about to go unconscious while she squeezed Ben's arm desperately.

Just as she was about to give up as her eyes rolled back while her strength was leaving her she felt a sudden pull upwards and her head breached the surface.  
Somehow she felt like flying for a second until her back made contact with some hard surface underneath her, where she fell down limp.  
Her head rolled back and forth, while she coughed with closed eyes as they burned from the cold water. She heard screams all around and felt a hand rudely grip on her shirt and jerk her upwards into a seating position, as another hand pulled her head downwards and to the side to open her mouth with a thumb pressing down on her tongue.

Somehow this position helped her to cough all the water out and she kept on coughing and coughing until her lung hurt so bad, she nearly cried from the pain and held onto the hand, which was still gripping her face and tongue roughly.  
There was still screaming and threats all around her and she finally opened her eyes just to see Ben kneeling directly in front of her, between her legs, dripping wet, his eyes partly obstructed by his hair and a thin line of blood running down from his cheek as there was a slash across it, looking at her with widened eyes but also anger, while he said some things she couldn't understand right now.

After she was sure she had coughed her whole lung out by now and started to draw in her first shaky breaths again, she was finally able to concentrate on anything else than her burning lung and Ben's furious face in front of her. "Why did you go, Rey? Why did you go?" She heard him screaming while he pulled her body with the help of her shirt forward to face him more. Again there was panicked screaming all around them and she wondered why. So she turned her head around and saw several rebels including Poe and Leia standing around them with raised blasters in his direction while they aggressively screamed at him to let her go.  
When she felt the metallic surface beneath her fingers and the wind around her hair, she understood that they were somehow on the ramp of the Resistance's ship, surrounded by rebels who thought Ben is going to kill or hurt her.

Her eyes widened in shock at the situation and her mind became clear in an instant as she turned around to the others and screamed: "Don't shoot! Don't shoot please!" Again Ben yelled at her: "I fucking told you to not go on any mission right now! What were you thinking?"  
She turned her head around again to eye him and answered: "I needed to protect your mother!"  
"You didn't need to do anything Rey! You barely made it out alive!" He growled out angrily as he still had a grip on her shirt.  
"Ben let her go! Now!" Leia screamed at him with her still raised blaster.

"Leia he saved me! Did you not see that?" Rey now yelled at her as she turned her head over to the general.  
"He nearly killed you by breaking off the cliff!" Another rebel yelled, who also had his blaster raised at him.  
Ben was about to stand up to attack him with one hand on his lightsaber, but Rey pulled him down hard with a grip on his elbow as he hesitated and looked at her fiercely. "Nobody hurts anyone here right now!" Rey screamed out loud looking around at the others and at Ben.

"I am leaving. I've got to deal with my knights and the First Order right now. Just flee while you still can!" Ben said still angry as he wanted to stand up.  
"Ben no!" Rey shot out and pulled him down again.  
He fought against it, but not too much and she pulled him closer down to her and cried out as tears fell down on her cheeks:  
"Ben, please don't leave. Please don't do this! You don't have to go back. Please! I beg you. Don't go now! Stay!...with me!"

He looked at her outburst with widened eyes and his hand on her shirt started to tremble as much as his lower lip. "Ben don't leave me. Please..."  
She whispered again with a pleading voice and his lip formed a thin line as his eyes started to glisten slightly.  
"Rey...I can't. There are...things...I must finish. I can't just leave. Not now..." He whispered in a low, deeply sad voice as he tried to stand up once again.

There it was. "Not now." This meant he is already thinking about leaving, joining her. Not now. But soon. Not now. But he will be with her. Someday.  
Tears fell freely now from Rey's eyes and she suddenly grabbed his wet shirt and pulled him downwards while pushing herself away from the floor, kneeling in front of him too now and she crashed her lips on his, putting all these boiled up emotions from the last months into this one first kiss.  
Finally tasting his delicious, trembling lips, which were salty and wet from the water, but still so soft and just perfect.  
She let all her emotions flow through him, anger, love, fear, unsureness, lust, forgiveness, longing, suffering, trust and let go of his shirt to cradle his face between both her palms as she pulled herself further into him until their chests touched each other and she could feel his raging heartbeat against hers.

He didn't kiss back at first and was absolutely tense, but after she poured all her emotions into him and their bodies touched, he pulled his arms around her, tilted his head and opened his mouth a little against hers as he let out a quiet pained and surprised whimper against her lips. Then he pulled away just an inch so he'd be able to look at her eyes with a gaze that showed as many emotions as she just pushed into him and he bowed forward to plant another soft kiss on her lips again while he held her so firm against his body she could feel every muscle and the blood rushing through his veins.  
She felt their force being entwined with each other in the most balanced way and her heart being overflown with love and peace as well as his state of mind,  
which was exactly the same as hers right now.

Just love, peace and total balance.

She knew this was exactly right and nothing in the whole galaxy would be able to change it. They belonged together and they knew it.  
He parted their heads again and pressed his forehead against hers as he panted slightly: "Rey...I need to go. One day I'll come back for you. I'll do. I promise."

Then he pulled away completely and stood up, but she let him this time, with tears in her eyes as she knew he wouldn't stay today.  
He was on the edge of the ramp, while the ship still hovered over the water and every rebel gaped in absolute shock at the situation that took just place in front of their eyes with still raised blasters on him.  
Just when he was about to jump down, Rey breathed out: "Please don't die Ben. I'll wait for you."  
He breathed out shakily and stared at her with a trembling lip, but didn't answer. Then he closed his eyes for a second, turned his head away and looked forward as he jumped down into the cold water again.

Rey pulled her knees to her body as she started to shiver and cried out loud in deepest desperation, while she let all the tears fall down freely, feeling like she had lost him once again.

* * *

 **Finally! A kiss! I hope it was dramatic enough for you folks ;)**


	14. Chapter 14: Ink

**Beware: This chapter has much fluff in it!**

 **Minight51: I hope you'll be satisfied with it!  
tuake: I'll see what I can do, already have this planned out actually.  
Thanks again for everyone who is commenting it.**

* * *

Poe was the first to approach the devastated Rey, as he pulled her up with an effort from her huddled up position on the ramp. She was wailing and shivering while her head was buried between her knees, but he pulled her up anyway and back into the ship as the ramp finally closed and they flew away from the water surface.  
"Come on in Rey, you are freezing, I'll get you a blanket." He mumbled reassuringly while he had an arm on her shoulder and pushed her down on a bench in the seating area.  
Everybody was still standing around them, eyeing her suspiciously but at least they stowed away their blasters again, but there was chattering and mumbling through the rebels as everybody talked in shock about what they had just witnessed.  
Poe was gone for a second when she was sitting on the bench, sobbing absentmindedly as she stared at the door of the ship, thinking about Ben.

How did he know about that deal? Why did his knights not listen to his command? What is he going to tell them now?  
Did they notice he deliberately broke off the cliff to save her? Did he by saving her, expose him to the First Order somehow? Is he going to be in danger?  
Is she endangering him every time she is on a mission? Where was he now? What does he need to finish? When will be 'One day'? The day, he is coming back for her? She wanted it to be soon. Or better right now actually. But for now, she just hoped he was safe and wouldn't be exposed by helping her.

Poe came back in an instant with a blanket and draped it over her shivering shoulders, while he rubbed her arms so she'd get warm.  
"Come on big girl. You are doing well. He'll be too, don't worry." He whispered to her and she huffed out quietly and shrugged her shoulders as she kept glancing at the door of the ship as if it would open any second again, with Ben standing in it, telling her he decided to stay after all.  
But the door didn't open again of course and instead of Ben, Leia stood now before her, with arms crossed in front of her chest and the most reproachful look on her face.

Before Leia started talking, she closed her eyes for a second and inhaled deeply, like she wanted to calm herself, but her broken voice gave away how angry she was:  
"Rey. It seems you forgot just a _minor_ detail the last times I questioned you about the connection with him. Anything else you forget to mention? Like, how he'd known about this mission? Or how much you two truly work together already? "

Great. Leia once again thought Rey was betraying the Resistance. But she didn't. She really didn't. She was absolutely loyal and dedicated to the cause.  
But of course, she had this connection with Ben and his mother just did not distinguish this but always saw the Resistance in danger by their bond.  
"I wasn't aware everybody in the Resistance has to lay open their personal relationships in detail." Rey snapped back at Leia, unnerved as she hated how Leia didn't seem to understand anything at all. Or at least didn't want to.

Leia pressed her lips together into a thin line and looked like she was about to snap any second.  
"Of course, I do not care about any personal relationships in our organisation. But - Rey - and I think you can't deny this - if it is by chance the Supreme Leader of the very organisation we are at war with, who intercepted our mission and attacked us just minutes ago, nearly killing you - then Rey - yes I think you are obliged to tell me about it very much!"

"He didn't attack us! He called his knights back the moment they were going after me!" Rey yelled out desperately, frustrated at how Leia perceived this whole situation. "He tried pushing you down the..." Leia started but was suddenly interrupted by Poe, who still sat beside Rey with a hand on her shoulder.  
"I am sorry general, but I have to agree with Rey on this. I really, really do not want to take a stand for your son but in my opinion, he called back his knights,  
they disobeyed him and afterwards, he attacked Rey with his force thing, breaking off the cliff on accident or deliberately, I don't know.  
But breaking off the cliff and falling into the water gave him enough time get Rey away from the other knights and stormtroopers, then he saved her from drowning and brought her back to us.  
If he really wanted to get information through her, wanted to lure her to his side or kill us, he surely wouldn't have brought her to our ship and just leave without doing anything. He would have taken her prisoner and slash us down in a second. This was his very chance to do so. But he didn't. He obviously did it, because he cared for her."

"So Dameron, I give it you knew it all along as well. Two people who refused to tell me about any of this." Leia sneered out in disbelief and pulled her hands up in frustration.

Rey had enough of this now. Even Poe tried to protect Ben now and his mother still refused to understand.  
She jumped up angrily, as the blanket fell down onto the floor and yelled: "How can you think so less of your son? How can you not feel he still has light in him?  
How can you just equate the First Order with him every time you talk about his actions? He is a human being with emotions and compassion for others, for _me_ , for _you_ Leia! How can you not even try to trust him the slightest bit, even if it's just about not wanting us to get hurt, which he has proven now several times?  
You are his mother for maker's sake!"

Leia went dead quiet in an instant and stared at her with wide eyes. After some seconds she hissed out: "You ask me how I am not able to trust him? He killed his father - my husband in cold blood, he was about to bomb me down from the command bridge, he was on the verge to obliterate us all on Crait, he tried killing Luke there too, he took the position as the Supreme Leader of the First Order and still does not think for a second about ending this useless war.  
Does this answer your questions? Or do I have to keep counting for more reasons?"

Rey crossed her arms now in front of her chest and plopped down onto the bench again as she looked self-confidently at the general about to crush her with what she is going to say now:  
"Leia. Nearly every word you just said was wrong. He did not kill his father in cold-blood. He did it under Snoke's influence. He regretted it the second his lightsaber went through Han's chest. This deed split his soul to the very core. He is haunted by what he did, every day until the rest of his life. He felt even more conflicted than before, even if Snoke promised him exactly the opposite. He tried to bomb you on the bridge, but he didn't, he couldn't bring his heart to do the same mistake again. He did not shoot, one of his pilots did before he could prevent it, he even tried to redirect the shot, but wasn't fast enough.

Afterwards, he thought you to be dead and attacked Crait without the knowledge of you being there very much alive, enraged by my foolish decision to abandon him alone on the Supremacy to his own fate, not knowing what they'd do to him if they found out that the killing of Snoke was his doing. Which meant, that I pretty much gambled with his life back then. He tried to kill Luke because his former master was the embodiment of personal betrayal, who tried to kill his nephew in his sleep and he took the position as the Supreme Leader because he believes he can change the galaxy to become a better place for everyone, change the First Order from within, to alter their course, because if he doesn't, who else in this position would?  
Every day he lives with the knowledge of the people around him, not agreeing with his decisions, hating him while he is waiting for the next assassination attempt on his life. His knights already didn't listen to him today and he had to push them back forcefully. He warned me before he broke off the cliff that he'd save me,  
he attacked and ordered me to fight back to not raise further suspicion within his ranks about his dedication to the First Order to have more time there, for maker knows what.

You know what? The best part is: When I kissed him, I could feel all his troubled emotions through our bond. Seeing you raising a weapon against him - he felt incredibly hurt. It reminded Ben so much of how Luke tried to murder him in his sleep. But this time, he forgave you instantly as he was at least able to comprehend why you did it at that very moment.  
And if you don't want to believe, or understand anything I just told you, I must admit, I feel really sorry for him that his mother failed to show compassion and has given up on her own son. I have not given up on him. If you take your time searching for it, you'll find so much light left in him, it's blinding!"

Rey's eyes intensely stared at Leia's with hope but also anger in them as she waited for her to answer. Poe had let go off her shoulder when she jumped up and sat there completely dumbfounded with an open mouth and wide eyes which wandered back and forth from her, to Leia every now and then. The other rebels around them instantly ceased their chattering and watched them with raised or knitted eyebrows as well as open mouths in shock.  
Leia's face seemed to lose some of its colour by Rey's words and she stepped back a little until she reached the bench behind her in front of a window, where she let herself fall down, pulled a hand up to her heart and looked down on the floor. Tears started to form in her eyes and she was quiet for some time.

After several tense seconds, she pulled up her head again with glistening eyes and answered with a shaky voice: "You are right Rey."  
Right with what? Rey thought and just asked confused: "What?"  
"I gave up on him, feeling I wasn't capable of dealing with this enormous power he already possessed as a child, so I gave him away, hoping Luke was able to deal with it. I wasn't there for him when Snoke started to lure Ben into the darkness and I hid his true heir, being Darth Vader's grandson, as I did not trust him to be able to cope with it. After his fall to the dark side, I tried to not give up on him, but I guess I somehow did as it kept getting worse every day after then. I...I thought Ben was lost. I thought Kylo Ren had taken over. But I see it clearly now. You found Ben, somewhere under this mask of darkness he wore the whole time.  
My son is still there and you are right to not give up on him and I shouldn't too. Of course, I still feel compassion for him and I want him to be safe and unharmed and not be at war with him. But I don't know how. Do you know Rey? I ask you as a mother, not as the general of the Resistance? How can I get my son back?"

Rey listened closely to Leia's words and felt so relieved after hearing her out, that a smile formed on her lips as she started to explain:  
"Talk to him. Try to understand the reasons for his actions. Don't judge too quickly. Give him a hug someday if he allows it, I don't know.  
Not giving up on him is the first step, I guess."

Leia gulped down, as a tear slid down her face and she stood up again, walking several steps in Rey's direction. "Thank you, Rey. You opened my eyes and I'll take your advice to my heart. As he is not here right now to hug him, can I hug you instead? I don't want us to argue anymore. You are not alone anymore fighting for him." Rey had a wide smile on her lips now and her eyes started glistening with tears too again, as she also stepped forward and pulled Leia into a deep embrace.

After some time, Poe interrupted them as he cleared his throat: "This is really sweet and all and I am seriously happy for both of you and hope everything will become better now...buuuut - what about our deal? The ships? Do we just fly back now with empty hands?"

Rey and Leia parted and looked at him with knitted brows, thinking about what to do. Then Rey answered: "We get the ships anyways! I briefly saw the memories of the woman, Ben pulled out from her when he opened his mind to me. She basically just saw us leaving the ship and walking into the casino. He still has no clue who made the deal and which factory is involved.  
He ordered his knights to search for our business affiliate, which he won't find because he fled in an instant and nobody else knew of this deal. So the chances are high, he hadn't found out by now and if we act fast, we can still reach the factory and get these ships in time, before they find us again."

Poe looked questioningly at Leia, but she just nodded and shrugged her shoulders: "Listen to this woman, I trust her. Let's get these ships and bolt!"  
Poe and several other rebels cheered and everyone got to work in an instant, so they would be able to reach these ships fast and obtain them.

* * *

After these really emotional events on Cantonica and the Resistance successfully obtaining the promised ships anyways afterwards, Leia decided to clear up the story she told all these other Resistance members about Ben and corrected it to a form, where he is not trying to lure Rey to the dark side but where they have a connection made by the force itself, they couldn't and don't want to severe and that he saved Rey several times by now and the Resistance at least once. Also that he was responsible for killing Snoke together with Rey and that he is trying to change the First Order from within, even if it is not clear yet how exactly.  
She didn't tell them about their romantical connection but said something along the lines of mutual respect and compassion for each other. There were mixed reactions from astonishment over chattering and disbelief as well as hope between the rebels, but everybody seemed to accept what they just heard from Leia.

As there were several rebels on the ship, who saw the kiss she and Ben shared, the news of them being in love or at least 'having something going on' spread like a wildfire anyway throughout the base and people started acting differently towards her. Some of them ignored Rey or cast her hateful glances, others were interested and asked her several things about their connection, whilst there was a small group of really excited woman who tried to get every detail about how he kisses, how his hair feels and how he might look underneath his black robes, which she didn't answer as she did not really know yet and also didn't have the feeling anybody else needs to know.

Finn wasn't happy at all about it when he learned about their kiss, but he already knew she had feelings for Ben and he had to accept this somehow.  
Still, he acted strangely and a little hurt for several days afterwards until he was over it and talked to her normally again. Rose thought positively about it and told her to keep it on as this surely will lead to him giving up the First Order someday for her.

Over the span of the next days Rey spent every minute she could manage with transcribing the secret Jedi texts from Luke with the translation chart scroll, Ben had prepared for her and after several days she managed to translate three books as it took such a long time to distinguish all these signs which looked really alike and she had to be extremely concentrated.  
Whilst she transcribed everything she sometimes huffed out from exhaustion as her head started to spin from concentrating so much for hours on and on and she was envious and amazed for Ben being able to translate these signs from memory and even understand the language and the meaning afterwards.

Her relationship to Leia had changed after this drastic event and they talked more often after their last conversation. Rey explained her, for example, the reason for the carpet bombing on Kessel as well as how he corrected these papers and how he called General Hux a 'disloyal Nerfherder' and how he told his general to do general things, which made Leia laugh out loud.  
She started to ask Rey here and there about Ben, how he reacted to certain things, how he acted and behaved or if he ever smiled when they talked, because she hadn't seen him smile since he was a child. Rey shared really personal moments but didn't tell her about how intimate they sometimes were which each other,  
but certainly told her how he sometimes tossed in a sarcastic line or once threw a pillow at her.  
Leia liked to hear these things about her son and Rey could see how her eyes filled with hope and small tears, every time she told her something more about him.

* * *

Rey was once again in her room, transcribing the Jedi texts with Ben's chart and a holopad while eating some small, sweet red fruits, of which she had forgotten the name. She huffed slightly and pushed one more berry into her mouth and another one and one after this one, until her mouth was so full she nearly wasn't able to chew them anymore. They just tasted too good.  
Suddenly she had a tingling feeling in her stomach and instantly got excited and looked around expectantly, while she tried to chew the berries as fast as possible to swallow them all down at once, which didn't quite work so she pulled her hands in front of her mouth so it wouldn't look too uncivilized.

Rey saw him finally, sitting on a metallic chair in his normal pants but with a sleeveless shirt on as a droid was working with small tools on his neck and his left arm, similar to this one time when they had their first connection through the force.  
This time he didn't push the droid away, but just looked at her trying to chew her food, whilst she pressed out between her hands with a full mouth in surprise: "Bwenn!"

He knitted his eyebrows together in confusion as she was muttering with her mouth being too full and she tried to chew faster as the juice from the berries started dripping down her chin. Great. So much about looking civilized in front of him, she thought. When Rey finally swallowed everything down she pulled her hands away and brushed away the juice from her face with a sleeve while she was sure she saw a small smirk appearing on his lips. He had dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept and looked altogether pretty worn out. Then she stood up and walked over to his sitting form on the chair and took a closer look at what the droid was doing. He had a deep slash, which was partly healed on his neck and a burn on his left arm.  
"Ben, what is this? What happened?" She asked in shock and already ran a finger along the skin next to the wounds.

He looked up at and reached out to her face as he wiped his thumb right under her lip, over her chin and smiled a bit as he pulled back his hand and pushed the tip of his finger in his mouth. Obviously, she still had some berry juice on her face and he just tasted it, which was an utterly intimate gesture and her face started to heat up by it and her thighs started to tingle, but she pulled herself together.  
"One of my knights tried to assassinate me while I slept yesterday. It was one of the two who didn't follow my command on Cantonica when they tried to attack you.  
He questioned my methods and decided that I am a threat to the First Order." Ben answered honestly as his eyes searched hers.

She immediately laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, trying to hide her absolute horror at hearing about this and fretted: "Stars Ben! I am so sorry! I am absolutely relieved it didn't work and you are alive. Maker...What happened then? What about the others? Do they think the same?"

"I killed him. I tortured the other. I sat all the knights and my highest generals down at one table, screamed and threatened them while questioning their loyalty regarding me and the goals of the First Order. They were frightened and said yes to everything I urged them to approve and promise. But I can see inside their minds, feel their true emotions, hear them think. I know they are waiting for the right moment to get rid of me. Nobody trusts my leadership since Snoke's 'mysterious' death and they still follow my orders out of pure horror of getting killed by me. They think I am too mild, too weak, working for the unimportant things in the galaxy while we could conquest everything by force. As well there's now the rumour, that I might be helping the Resistance somehow. This won't be the last attempt, I am sure of it." He answered in a monotone voice.

The droid was done with patching up his wounds and left the room in an instant. Ben stood up and Rey instantly embraced him fully, while he put a hand on the back of her neck and brushed his fingers through her hair, while he laid his chin on her head.  
"Ben I am scared for your life. I seriously am. This sounds extremely threatening and I am scared they are going to kill you. How long do you want to wait until this happens? What if they all turn against you? What if your knights march in on you, with rows of stormtroopers and try to murder you? You can't fight them all!"  
She wept desperately into his chest.

"I don't know. I just hope it doesn't happen too soon. I need some more time." He mumbled into her hair, while he placed a kiss on her head.  
Rey pulled away from him now, tears in her eyes and whispered: "Time for what? For what Ben? What could be so important to stay at a place where everybody hates you and wants to kill you?"

He looked at her for a long time and pushed his lips together like he always did when he was suppressing something:  
"I won't talk about this with you Rey."

She stepped away from him and started to argue: "Stars Ben! Your life is in danger, I want to help you - Leia wants to help you and misses you. Even my friends and the other rebels accept you by now as maybe not being evil. We would welcome you with open arms here and you have no reason to stay there and you still want to keep secrets? For what Ben? I don't understand this!"

"Where is your Resistance base located, how many ships and which weapons do you possess?" Ben suddenly questioned her with a harsh voice.  
"What?" She asked in disbelief and blinked her eyes.  
"Tell me." He boldly stated and crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"I...I...No. I can't tell you. Ben. Don't ask me this! You know I can't tell you." She stuttered out and frowned.  
"Good. You shouldn't. You see how important it is to keep certain secrets right now. Do you Rey? Please tell me you understand this." He asked with a self-confident expression but in the end pleaded her to understand it.  
Rey's gaze fell down on the ground as she mumbled: "Yes...I understand...I just want you to be safe. Please stay safe. I can't bear to lose you. And if you ever need my help, I will be there for you. You are not alone. Please remember this. Always." She looked at him again with a pleading glance and tears in her eyes.

He took a step forward and pulled her head towards her, as he placed a kiss on her forehead. "I will remember it." He answered truthfully as he held her against his body again. So many emotions were running through her at once and she felt so secure and warm in his embrace, but so sad at the same time, as they couldn't be together for real at the moment. Again she felt his heartbeat and his strong arms around her and her heart started beating in the same rhythm as his like they were harmonizing their heart rate every time they were near each other.  
True balance. Every time.

Suddenly he pushed away from her and asked with a totally different mood, looking at the books she left on the floor: "I see you started to work on these texts.  
Can I see them?" She looked at him confused for some time, still saddened by what they talked about right now, but then answered, as he obviously wanted to change the topic: "Sure." And took his hand as she leads them to the books and her holopad. He followed her and both sat cross-legged on the floor, while she opened the first book and switched on the holopad while explaining to him what she worked out already. He took the holopad from her hands and she saw his eyes starting to glow with amazement as he scrolled through the data. Never has she seen him like that and she couldn't help but smile at his excitement. So there were things he is still looking forward to learn and experience. "That's...fascinating..." He mumbled in awe while still reading as his eyes darted back and forth.

Rey couldn't understand what he was reading right now and what exactly was fascinating, so she asked: "Did...Luke never show you these?"  
His expression grew a little darker and he answered: "No. He liked to keep things to himself."  
She huffed out and said: "Yeah. I made the same experience with him."  
He turned his head around to her and gave her a small smile, which instantly melted her heart away and her whole body started to tingle then.

"Yes, you certainly did." Ben answered and looked at her eyes but then his gaze wandered down to her lips for a second, then up to her eyes again.  
She saw this in an instant and knew exactly why he looked at her like that, so she leaned forward to close the distance between them and supported herself on his knee with both hands as she brushed her lips against his carefully, just testing how he'd react this time without kissing him fully. Rey's breathing came to a halt in her lungs and her stomach tingled with excitement as she felt him purse his lip against hers too, just the slightest bit to meet hers.  
He wasn't tense this time but pulled one hand up from her holopad as he placed the device in his lap and he cradled her face in his palm while kissing her back softly.  
It wasn't so desperate and longing like it was last time, but calm and sweet like the brush of a feather against one's skin. They slowly started to explore each other this time without haste or danger surrounding them and she felt like she could do this forever and the galaxy could safe itself as long as he held and kissed her like that.  
This was where she belonged and where she could feel safe and she wanted nothing else than for him to be able to feel the same.

When they eventually parted they pulled their faces just inches away from each other and breathed loudly, while he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and she grinned at him like an idiot. The longer he watched her grin, the longer he had to hold back a grin himself until his lips slowly started to turn upwards too, while his eyes went back and forth between hers. Stars, he was fully smirking right now, while he slightly bit his bottom lip. Just now, being so close to him, she realized both his front teeth were a little crooked and she smiled even more as she found this to be utterly sweet, finding imperfections on this otherwise perfect looking man.  
She was looking forward to finding more of such things she'd learn to love about him.

"One day, I'll count all your freckles. You've got so many of them." He mumbled out and pressed his lips against the bridge of her nose.  
She leaned forward once again and placed another kiss on his lips with a smacking noise and then laughed as she would never have thought of them to be like this sweet with each other.  
He pulled his palm away from her face and brushed it over her hand, saying nothing but getting up the holopad again to read it.  
She leaned slightly into him, feeling the heat of his body and his muscular arm as she asked: "Can you tell me what it says?"

He pondered for some time, before answering while he kept scrolling through all these signs. "I can't fully translate it just like that. I need to write it down to understand it. But this part specifically is about force healing." He pointed to a parenthesis in one of the books, which laid on the floor in front of them, the one where he commented it to be fascinating before.

"Do you want to write it down? So we get to understand it?" Rey asked now and looked at him.  
He nodded and stood up to walk to the back of his room. He was out of her field of vision as the connection ended somewhere in his chamber. For a short time she feared he won't come back, but he did some seconds later with several scrolls and an ink pen, as well as an inkwell.  
Her eyes widened and she understood what he meant with writing it down. She thought he would also use a holopad, but he wanted to write it down on real paper too.  
"I get to see you write in calligraphy - What an honour! I hope it erases some memories about the last time you had to do that." She cackled and started to get excited, hoping he wouldn't think this to be the same as all these times he had to translate texts for Snoke.

"It certainly will. You are here. I hope the connection won't break too soon." He commented as he prepared everything in front of them.  
"Maybe the books will tell us about our connection too!" She pondered as she watched him.  
"Maybe they will. The books of the Sith's don't cover this topic." He answered while writing the first signs with the brush on paper.  
Her eyes followed his hands in amazement as he looked so calm and concentrated right now, the absolute contrast to his often unstable, angry or frightening demeanour and his writing looked just beautiful and accurate.

He wrote down several lines and she excitedly read them word for word. They said something about healing wounds and extracting poison from oneself through the force as well as mastering this technique would allow it's users to also heal others. Afterwards came an explanation how to clear one's mind and channel the force to be able to use this technique and several metaphors of what this means to the force user and everything around him.  
He wrote down all these things in silence, while she gasped sometimes as she didn't know these things would be able with the force.  
"This...is...indeed absolutely fascinating Ben! Did you know that before? Did you learn that too?" She asked him with excitement in her voice.

"I knew about that, but I never learned it. It's a light side technique - that's why it's never mentioned in the Sith books. Also Luke didn't bother to teach us this."  
He boldly answered and kept on translating.  
Rey watched him some time longer until she asked: "Can I try writing with the brush too? I never wrote on paper with a pen."  
"I wouldn't expect you to have something like that on Jakku." Ben answered as he handed her his ink brush.  
She rolled it around in her hand and examined it, then pushed the pen down awkwardly on the paper, not sure how to hold it, as it felt strange in her hand.  
A big splotch of ink appeared in an instant and soaked the paper. "Oh no!" She gasped out and instantly moved the pen away again.

Ben pulled up his hand and used the force to guide hers with the pen between her fingers. She let him and brought the brush back down, while he determined the pressure and the form of lines as he wrote signs, using her hand.  
She was in awe of them using the force together like this and watched her hand move seemingly on its own.  
After several minutes they had translated another parenthesis which she wrote down with his guiding, he pulled her hand up through the force and she looked at him with a smile, he didn't let go, but forced the hand into the direction of her face and brought the brush onto her forehead as he slowly let it trail down over her nose, her upper lip, then her bottom one, her chin, her neck and her chest where it stopped right above the edge of her shirt. He did all of this, while he followed her every move with his eyes with a slight, cheeky smile on his lips. How could this man be so content after everything he lived through yesterday and considering the situation he is in right now? Was it because of her? Eventually, he pulled the force away and she moved her hand on her own again.

"Did you just make me draw a line on my own face?" She laughed out loud as she gave him back the ink brush.  
He took it and answered boldly with a smirk: "I might have. Yes."  
They stared at each other for several seconds, thinking about how normal and peaceful this little moment they shared right now was and simultaneously decided to crash their faces into each other to wildly kiss and bite their lips with a sudden longing and urge to explore each other's mouths. Rey let out small whimpers when he started to suck on her bottom lip and started flicking her tongue against his in response while she slowly climbed into his lap the moment he pulled her over to him.  
When she straddled him and bruised her lips even harder against his, he let out a satisfied growl which made her inside's tickle and her body shiver with want.

Suddenly there was a metallic voice through a commlink, which wasn't in her room, but in his and they stopped in an instant as he looked into the direction of his door. "Supreme Leader. Asking for permission to enter."  
He groaned and answered: "Permission granted." While he slowly pushed Rey from his lap.  
One stormtrooper opened the automatic door but didn't enter the room, when he saw Ben sitting on the ground with paper scrolls all around him. The trooper looked from Ben to the scrolls, then back to him perplexed. Even if it was not possible to see his face, it was obvious he didn't know how to react to this. Just when Rey looked away from the trooper back to Ben, she realized his face was smeared with black ink from her face and she had to hold her mouth shut with a hand to not laugh out loud. "What is it?" Ben finally asked when the stormtrooper didn't say anything.

The trooper flinched together in fear and stuttered out as he held out a device: "I...General Hux told me to bring this datapad."  
Ben looked at the object in his hand and answered: "Put it on the table over there."  
The stormtrooper scooted over fastly and ran back to the door, where he still stood for several seconds to glance at Ben.  
"Anything else?" Ben asked with a wave of his hand, as he didn't understand why the other man was acting like this.  
The trooper waved slowly with his gloved hand around his face and mumbled: "There is...you have...ink...in..."  
Ben's eyes instantly widened as he understood what he was trying to tell him, closed the door with the force and an angry growl as he scrubbed his face clean with his hand.

"Stars, I didn't know funny things happen on your First Order ships. This was hilarious!" Rey snorted out.  
"Very funny - indeed." Ben answered sarcastically with a frown.

After this small encounter, they kept on translating for some more as the minutes went by and cherished the time they had left together before the connection eventually breaks again, as Rey was slumped against his body the whole time, feeling his warmth and energy radiating all around him, as he occasionally brushed his palm over her back and kissed her forehead, whilst she raked her fingers through his hair and found out that she liked it most when it was in a wild, tangled mess on his head. Sometimes when she found a certain spot on his scalp he groaned out quietly and leaned back into her hand just the slightest bit whilst he kept writing as she kept on typing in sign after sign into her holopad. Occasionally she ate some of the berries and handed him some too, to which, of course, they needed to test if both tasted like them afterwards, which they did and it became slightly thrilling and arousing in an instant, until they remembered they still had to translate all these texts and didn't know when the connection would break off again.  
She loved how much he was able to relax with her and never in her whole life has any moment felt as right and calm as this one did. Rey knew he felt the same and they shared several knowing glances between their work.

At some point, he was suddenly gone as the connection stopped and her smile faded in an instant as well as her room felt cold and like something or to be accurate someone was missing from her. Fortunately, she had the first scroll in her hand, as she was reading it, while he was writing on another, which was with him now.  
Rey groaned out in annoyance, as she nearly had forgotten that they are just together because of the connection and not because they physically stayed in one room and she missed him already the second he vanished.

After this beautiful time they shared, Rey suddenly remembered how their conversation started, about him being attacked by his knight, so she decided to inform Leia immediately about it. She left her room and went through the corridors of the base and was greeted by several other rebels who went her way. Some of them waved friendly and grinned widely, while others shook their head and ignored her. So it was pretty much the usual behaviour since the news about Ben and her reached them. But something was off, she didn't know what exactly. When she finally reached Leia's office she entered it and saw Poe and her standing over a round display like a table while they discussed something.

Both lifted their heads and looked at her, then their eyes widened and Poe started to grin like an idiot, while Leia knitted her eyebrows together.  
Rey was a little confused by their behaviour and said quietly: "I just talked to Ben..." But was suddenly interrupted by a laughing Poe:  
"Yeah, _that_ doesn't go without notice."  
She shut up immediately and glared at Poe, asking in confusion: "What?"  
"Stars...Rey whatever you two did, you should wash off your face next time..." Leia groaned as she rolled her eyes and shook her head.  
Just then Rey remembered the black line Ben drew with her hand and the brush on her face and how it's probably smeared all over her mouth after they kissed several times, just how he looked when they did. But she must look even worse as she had all the ink on her skin and he just got some from her.

Her face heated up in an instant and she was one hundred percent sure she was as red as the blinking control buttons on the wall next to her and she groaned out: "Kriff...this is so embarrassing. I forgot. It's not like...we...Ok...Whatever. Just ignore it please!" She stuttered and tried to rub the ink from her face, which seemed to be pretty hard.  
Damn Ben, what did he do to her? He must have known this before. And he didn't even remind her of washing this off whilst they translated their texts.  
Now she also understood why everybody was eyeing her so strangely in the corridors. Poe and Leia watched her with amusement as she tried to scratch the ink off her face.

"Ok. I won't get it off now anyway." She gave up and her hands slumped to the sides as she walked forward to them.  
"So, Ben and I met just now. One of his knights, the one who disobeyed him on Cantonica made an assassination attempt on Ben last night while he slept.  
His neck was slashed and he had burn marks, but he survived. He is doing okay, I mean he wasn't dangerously hurt. Ben killed the knight and tortured the other one.  
Then he held a meeting with the other generals and knights to question their loyalty and put them in place again. He said he felt that nobody trusted his leadership and they are just waiting for an opportunity to bring him down." Rey explained as she saw the expressions from Leia and Poe change from a laugh to frown until the general held a hand to her heart and sat down after she heard about him being in this darn situation.

"Why does he not give up and join us? I don't understand this. He could be killed any day now." Leia panted out with tears in her eyes.  
"That's exactly what I asked him too. He just told me he needs more time for something. He didn't tell me what he meant by this and also advised me to not tell him any secrets or intern information about the Resistance. I think he is planning something and whatever it is, it will be dangerous and is probably a risk to his life and I hate it already." Rey finished and exhaled while she stared at the floor.

Several seconds went by in silence until Leia started talking: "Thank you for telling us this. These are important information, but unfortunately, I don't have a clue how to help him right now, apart from kidnapping him, which won't work. I am sure you told him that we'd welcome him here. If one of you has an idea how to change his mind and get him away from there, tell now me, please. I am at a loss."

Poe and Rey shook their heads, as they too didn't know how to convince him to let go of the First Order and to join them.  
Before Rey went back to her room, Leia touched her arm and motioned her to stay a little more, as she asked:  
"I also need to ask something personal: Apart from the obvious, for what did you use ink? We don't have any paper here."  
Rey's face went hot again, but she answered: "Oh, he is helping me translate these sacred Jedi texts from Luke for some time now. He has paperscrolls.  
We are making great progress actually. He uses some calligraphy set for it. With real paper and ink and showed me how to write with it."

Leia inhaled sharply and her voice got shaky all of sudden: "That's really good to hear for you, Rey. Did...did the brush have silver rings and black ends?"  
Rey knitted her eyebrows together as she thought hard about it, trying to remember how the brush looked. "Uhm. Yeah...actually it did." She answered honestly.  
Right in this instant Leia suddenly started bawling her eyes out, so that Poe and Rey were equally shocked at her outburst. Poe instantly had an arm around her shoulder and asked her several times what happened, until she finally answered between sobs: "That's the ink-brushes Han gave him as a present, the day before we sent Ben to Luke. He kept it."

* * *

 **To anyone who doesn't know this and why this chapter resolves so much about the calligraphy set: If you look into the official, canon Last Jedi Visual Dictionary, you can see that Ben Solo had a calligraphy set. It isn't further explained except for him to be using it for 'Jedi insights'.  
I liked the idea and picked it up, thinking of him keeping and using it, as he obviously isn't able to let go of the past like he wants to. Also, the extra part of it being a present from Han makes it extra sad.**


	15. Chapter 15: White

Several days went by after their last meeting and Rey was nervous every now and then, wondering if Ben was unhurt and if there was or will be another attempt on his life. She wondered what exactly he was planning, what secret he couldn't tell her, what the hell he wanted or needed to do first, for whatever crazy stuff he needed more time and if she is endangering him by exposure within the First Order through their connection.  
She seriously pondered about not going to any missions anymore because of their connection but discarded this thought again fast, as she still was not sure if Ben's initial motivation to tell her not to take part in any missions was solely to keep her safe or if he wanted to weaken the Resistance by her absence.  
It was a fine line between trusting and betraying each other the whole time and Rey absolutely hated it, but at the same understood him too as she acts the same way he does, telling him to not do all of this but instead join her. But he had much more authority in his hands as the leader of the First Order than she had, a scavenger girl from Jakku. So, of course, it wouldn't be easy for him at all to say: Fuck it! and leave everything behind.

She kept on transcribing the secret texts of the Jedi books day and night when she found the time to do so. It was hard, boring work and she was frustrated as it took so much time to get nothing out of it in the end, as she couldn't understand anything of it now. But deep down, she knew it will definitely help Ben to translate these texts which will then again aid her to understand the force and become a Jedi somehow which at least kept her motivation up to continue.  
Was it even possible to become a Jedi without a master? Just through reading books? Hoping Ben would translate everything correctly?  
She didn't quite know, but it was certainly better than having none of this information at all, as she would still think Jedi's were just able to let rocks float and change one's mind through the force. So she actually learned something already from these books, as she already managed to heal a small cut on her finger with the translated paper scroll Ben wrote together with her.

When she accidentally cut herself on the edge of from a sharp metal plate which stuck out of a wall inside the Falcon which she tried to bent in again,  
Rey was unnerved at first as it was a stupid spot for the wound because it would certainly hinder her slightly from working on it further, as it hurt every time she moved the finger.  
But suddenly her mood changed to excitement and anticipation as she remembered the translated text had a chapter about force healing and she was somehow psyched up about the small wound as presented itself as the perfect opportunity to try that new technique on the small cut. So she excused herself from Chewbacca who helped her with the ship and darted at near lightspeed with that bleeding finger back to her room.  
The Wookie growled in confusion and threw his wrench to the side as he thought Rey would leave him to keep on working alone just like that.

When Rey reached her room, she sat cross-legged on the bed and stared at her finger, where the blood leapt out steadily as she occasionally read the texts about healing through the force, Ben had written down on the scroll for her, careful to not smear any blood on it.

She closed her eyes and brushed the other, unhurt hand with the fingertips against her temple as she tried to concentrate on the life around her and inside her, feeling the flow of the force steadily being emitted by everything which possessed a heartbeat surrounding her in a certain radius. She could feel all the other rebels moving inside the base and felt like she could see her own heart beating and pumping blood through her veins in a steady ryhtm.

It was a very intense sensation and she focused her mind on the wound of her finger. It felt like a slight disturbance, like a small ripple in the otherwise fleeting energy of the force which surrounded her, so she concentrated on this small rip in the energy flow of her body, trying to close it, mend the flesh together while she felt pain flooding through her finger from using the force on it.  
It took lots of strength from her and small drops of sweat started to form on her forehead from concentration, but after several minutes she felt her body to be whole again, the bleeding has ceased and the wound was finally closed.

Rey blinked several times and wiped away the remaining blood, to discover there was now just a thin white line left, a scar on her finger and it was indeed healed. She bolted up suddenly and cried out in joy, pumping a fist into the air while she jumped several times on her bed, realizing that these texts are indeed able to teach her certain things.  
After she calmed down a bit, Rey left her room again to keep on helping Chewbacca but stumbled over Finn who was pushing a cart with several different devices and metal pieces through the same corridor. He grinned at her and asked: "Hey Rey! What'cha doing?"  
Rey was still excited and pulled her finger upwards to shove it in his face: "Look Finn! Look! My finger!"

He blinked confused and backed off a little, as he took her hand to look at the said finger. "Yes...uhm. You have a finger. That's really great Rey. There's nine more,  
if you'd count them." He answered sarcastically.  
Rey shuffled forward and pointed with her other finger on the one with the scar.  
"No look Finn. The scar here. I just cut my finger minutes ago and it's healed. I healed it with the force. It's gone now!" She exclaimed with a big grin as she looked expectantly at Finn, who didn't seem to share her excitement at all.

"But...It's just a small cut, you could have just used a bacta patch...Do you need bacta patches? I have some in my room." He stated confused as he kept on looking at her finger for some more time, then let it drop down with a dismissing shake of his head. Rey now also looked at her finger and realized she might be the only one who'd understand why this is so exciting for her...and maybe Ben. He would find it fascinating too, she was sure of it. But of course, in Finn's eyes, she could just have used a bacta patch instead, always having a technical solution for everything. She couldn't blame him it. He always had these resources within the First Order to have medical supplies for all kinds of wounds.

Rey pulled her finger away from him and smiled: "Sorry, didn't want to disturb you. It was just something I found out I'd be able to do with the force.  
I'll go back to the Falcon now."  
Finn put a hand on her shoulder, squeezed it slightly and winked at her: "You didn't disturb me, it was funny. Next time try to heal a severed limp,  
like a whole hand or something like that. Then I'll certainly be more impressed."  
Rey punched him jokingly in his ribs and waved goodbye as she went back to the hangar to keep on repairing the ship, thinking about how far this force healing could go and if she seriously could repair severed limbs. Maybe she should ask in the med bay if she was allowed to train this ability on others as she couldn't always wait until she was hurt by accident.

* * *

Rey was finally, finally done with transcribing the Jedi texts and she leaned back exhausted, but a little proud from all this work over these past weeks.  
Now she just needed Ben to translate them and her training could start right away. This felt so right and so worth it, she thought everything will be getting better from this point on. She wondered what Ben was doing right now, as she hadn't seen him for several days and missed him dearly and of course worried for him. Her body ached after his presence and she had the urge to hold him in her arms, brush her hand through his soft black hair and tell him all about how force healing feels and how it works, as well as show him all the transcribed texts she worked out for him to translate. She wondered too if he did also miss her and if they'd someday be able to try out several things from the Jedi texts together, as well as maybe train lightsaber combat. At least he offered to be her teacher back then on Starkiller base. Even if it was the worst moment in history to ask her that, as he had just killed his father minutes before.  
But after everything which happened between them by now, maybe she'll even take this offer someday.  
Of course, she still needed a lightsaber, which she didn't have, as hers was unfortunately broken, but having these texts worked through gave her a sense of hope.

After healing her finger, several days had gone by and every time she heard somebody cursing while repairing a ship or cooking in the cantina she excitedly ran to them and asked if somebody was hurt. At first, this was some really strange behaviour and people kept making jokes about it, but she instantly explained everything while letting her force flow through them that she was training her ability to force heal other people. Mostly she treated just the smallest wounds, like scratches and such, but one time somebody had broken her smallest toe with a heavy object that fell down on it and Rey was instantly there to heal it.  
So yep, broken bones can be healed too, she happily thought while holding the foot of the girl who watched her with amazement as she was relieved of her pain.

Some days after her success with the broken toe, Rey decided she finally needs a lightsaber again, because she couldn't run around all day, looking for people who might have stubbed their toe too hard. There must be some way to repair the saber and she is going to find it out. She just didn't dare to do it before, as she knew it's mechanics looked extremely complicated, judging just from the broken ends where she could see the insides.  
She had more than enough expertise in building and taking apart things, so she'd maybe also be able to understand the mechanics of a lightsaber, but it will certainly not be an easy task.  
So she went into the hangar and picked out the right tools, the smallest ones she could find, and sat down with the saber to work on it.  
Rey cautiously disassembled the pieces, screwed off the outer hulls from both halves and opened the cases next to each other on the ground.  
There was a white crystal inside it and Rey was surprised by this. A crystal? What is this doing in there? Is this part of the weapon? Does it belong there? What is it's power source? Does this crystal power the weapon? Is it broken? All these questions ran through her head, to which she didn't know the answers to.

So she decided to find it out and took a small tool to extract the crystal which was firmly installed into the hilt. Rey had to put lots of pressure on it until she finally felt it moving just the slightest bit as she grunted with effort. Suddenly the crystal started to glow in bright white light all over the place and everybody in the hangar stared at her surprised and yelled, asking her what the hell she was doing, while they came running to her. She didn't know either and stared at the crystal which was still stuck in the hilt, as she turned it around while feeling a sudden wave of the force rush through her. She thought it came from the crystal, but it was Ben who stood with his back turned in her direction, right in front of her while he looked out of a big window into the open space. She could see at least two other Stardestroyers in the distance and they were approaching a planet. The First Order was planning something and Rey was sure, she didn't like it at all.

He suddenly turned around and stared at her, then his eyes widened as he saw the saber as well as the crystal and instantly darted forward with panic in his eyes, kneeled down to her and ripped the lightsaber from her hand, whilst he hastily pushed the crystal back with one finger into its original place as the dark room he stood in was now instead engulfed in white light.  
She protested in an instant and jumped up, but he pressed the saber to his chest and walked several steps backwards away from her, while he still fumbled with two fingers on the crystal until it clicked as he looked at her in shock. The white light disappeared suddenly and a surprised, but firm voice was heard from the background:  
"What the hell was that Supreme Leader?" And the figure of General Hux appeared somewhere behind him. Ben's eyes widened again and he suddenly slipped the broken saber inside his jacket and turned around to face Hux.

"The force." He simply answered and walked back to the window.  
Rey was confused at what was happening right now and she didn't know if she should do anything at all. She also went to the window and looked outside, trying to see which planet it might be and why they were approaching it. She had an unbelievably bad feeling about this and her stomach started to hurt from it, as sweat pearls started to appear on her forehead. "Ben what is this?" She whispered to him with a pressing voice, but she knew he wouldn't answer now as he would expose their link right away.

"The force...?" General Hux repeated with reluctance in his voice, of course not knowing Rey was there with them.  
"The force produces white light beams somehow in the room suddenly?"  
"...Yes." Ben slowly answered without explaining it any further.  
Rey looked at him in disbelief, then back to the window as one more Stardestroyer came into view. Meanwhile, other rebels had reached her and asked what just happened and what she was seeing.

Poe was there too and asked: "Is it Kylo Ren?" Rey just nodded seriously, as she knew something big and important would be happening any second so she immediately had to inform the General, for they might be able to prevent it: "Yes. Get Leia." She ordered. Poe instantly contacted Leia and waited next to Rey as he listened to her with concern.  
By hearing the name of Leia, she saw Ben shifting his weight nervously from one foot to the other and Rey walked over now to stand right before him as she stared intensely into his eyes, trying to figure out what exactly the First Order was doing right now while she again whispered: "Ben...please...whatever you are doing,  
stop it.". He looked at her from above for a brief second, then away again out of the window, as Hux approached and stood directly next to him.

"I do not understand the ways of the force and I am certainly not interested in it. Whatever this was, I see you are not going to tell me right now. Our fleet is reaching the atmosphere of Chandrila in two minutes standard time now and we need to prepare for the assault. The Stormtroopers divisions are in position and are landing simultaneously with us."  
General Hux stated as he held a datapad in his hands and typed in several things.  
"Very well. It seems like everything goes according to plan." Ben answered with a deep voice.

In the meantime, Leia had reached them and stood next to Rey a little out of breath as she came running as fast as she could.  
The moment she had reached Rey, Ben flinched together a little and leaned forward a bit, as if he was punched into his stomach but steadied his position again in an instant afterwards. "You seem distracted today Supreme Leader."  
Hux commented with eyes squinted together slightly and disgust in his voice. "It's nothing." Ben immediately hissed out with a growl and glared at his general.

"What is it Rey, what do you see?" Leia answered and looked over to the empty space, where Rey was staring at.  
"It's Ben. He's in a ship with General Hux and has a fleet of Stardestroyers and they are right now approaching Chandrila. It looks like they are going to attack it.  
They are reaching it in several minutes." She cried out while staring at Ben reproachfully, but he didn't lower his head to meet her eyes again.

"WHAT?" Leia yelled out in panic. "WHAT? Stars! You need to stop him! They can't attack the capital! Please tell me you can stop him! I can't believe this!"

Rey felt panicked now as she was starting to realize the seriousness of the situation, so she stepped forward to Ben, trying to grab and shake some sense into him whilst yelling: "Ben do not attack Chandrilla! If you do..." But she interrupted herself as her hands just flew through his chest the moment she tried to grab him.  
"No...no...no no no no. Ben! What is this? Stars! Why? Ben! Why are you doing this? Why can't I touch you anymore? What are you doing? Why didn't you tell me? Please don't ignore me. Talk to me!"  
She screamed at him now with tears in her eyes. Leia saw her desperation and that she was obviously unable to touch him, so the General put a hand on her shoulder to reassure her and stand by her side while she listened to Rey scream and sob.

The moment Leia touched Rey's shoulderblade she gasped out in shock and pulled her other hand to her mouth in an instant and Ben suddenly stumbled two steps backwards with wide eyes.  
Rey looked at Leia and Ben in shock as both of them stared now exactly at each other as Leia reached one hand forward and mumbled with tears in her eyes: "Ben..."

Now she understood that Leia and Ben were able to see each other through Rey's and his bond, the moment Leia touched her shoulder.  
She didn't know this was possible but obviously, it was - which made the situation even tenser right now.

Again Hux glared over to him with knitted eyebrows and said with a frown: "I really don't know what is going on right now, but if you don't feel like you are able to lead this attack today you might want to stay behind and we are doing everything as it was discussed before."  
Ben pulled his gaze away from Leia and turned his head around to Hux as he found his steady posture again to clarify:  
"This was another disturbance in the force. I'll lead the attack and you as well as the Stormtroopers will stick to the protocol."  
"As you wish...Supreme _Leader_." Hux sneered out as he emphasized the Leader part with hate and refusal in his voice, as if he tried mocking him with the title.  
Ben suddenly stared at him with a hateful glance and was about to reach out his hand to force choke him but the ship suddenly started to shake as it was hit by several cannon shots. Hux held himself steady at the window frame while Ben was able to stand still just like that, but let his arm fall down again.

"Ben! Pull back the assault right now!" Leia yelled at her son, but he didn't react to her.

"The ground forces are attacking us, as expected." Hux informed him and as it seemed several other generals somewhere else in the room.  
"Shoot their cannons down." Ben ordered with a firm voice as he pulled both hands behind his back while the ship kept on shaking the whole time.  
Leia's face had changed from pure shock to determination and also hurt as she pressed out: "Ben! I did not want to give up on you, but what you are doing right now... I can't believe this! You know as well as I do, that we are going to send out our whole fleet and we will protect the capital as well as contact every available force in the galaxy to aid us against the First Order!"

There were shots now to be seen coming from the ship Ben stayed on, as well as several TIE-fighters darting forwards left and right, as they shot back at the cannons on the ground, then suddenly Ben ordered: "Sent out several TIE-fighters to scout the planet for incoming Resistance ships. I don't want any disturbance.  
Keep them away by all means in case they somehow know and try to attack."

Hux suddenly stared at him shocked, with raised eyebrows: "Resistance ships? There is no possibility they could know about this attack!"  
"No there probably is not. But I want to be sure." Ben answered without looking at the general.  
"Then why sent out TIE-fighters? We've got several Stardestroyers ready, right above the planet.  
We'd crush them in seconds and they wouldn't be able to fight back or flee once they'd be here." Hux sneered at him with a thrill of anticipation in his voice.

"No. There will be no battlefield on our account right above the planet, if they decide to attack. Scout the planet with a radius of one parsec to pick up any attacking Resistance ships, if there are any. Lead them away from the planet." Ben ordered while the ship eventually made it's way to the ground and was preparing to land as it started shaking again.

"It sounds like you expect them to attack." Hux commented with a suspicious gaze, while he turned around and started to walk away from the window.  
"I don't expect them to attack. They'd be completely destroyed by the thirteen Stardestroyers and four Dreadnoughts in an instant. This would be suicide.  
But we can't know if they are called by the Chandrila government for aid right now." Ben informed the general while he looked with a pressing glance at Rey and Leia as he spoke out the numbers of battleships they had positioned around the planet.  
Leia and Rey glanced at each other as both understood that he just gave them a secret information with these numbers and they kept on watching him in silence but more so over disbelief. What game was he playing? Attacking the planet, but warning the Resistance not to interfere? Even if they'd had the chance to obliterate them once and for all. What are they doing on the planet exactly?

Then Ben turned around too and followed Hux, as the ship had landed and the ramp went down while the door opened to reveal a whole battalion of Stormtroopers right in front of the ship, waiting for their arrival.  
The two men left the ramp while Hux asked: "Called for aid? It must have slipped my net of information the Resistance has supporters on Chandrila."

"Their numbers of sympathizers are growing throughout the galaxy every day after Skywalker's return and passing. The First Order certainly doesn't know about every connection or supporters who'd work in their favour by now. That's why I prefer to take care." Ben answered the moment he stepped out of the ship, igniting his lightsaber.  
Rey pondered if he just talked about the whole situation regarding the galaxy or if he included himself in this sentence as he was indeed having a connection to the Resistance, passing information to them like he does right now at this very moment.

Hux walked next to him as several rows of Stormtroopers followed them left and right while they seemed to approach a huge building and were shot at by armed forces, which looked like the local police who tried to protect the building or at least tried to hold them off from entering. The Stormtroopers did most of the work as Ben and Hux easily walked through the battlefield but sometimes one or two shots reached them, which Ben blocked without any movement from himself in midair right before their heads, where it just stayed for several seconds while both men just ducked away from it or went around the frozen laser beams.  
"It's the government building..." Leia commented in defeat. "They are overtaking the government."

* * *

 **Ben, you are fucking it up again! Rey just waited for you, missing you and all, healing stubbed toes at the base and you decide to overthrow the government. *throws hands up in frustration***


	16. Chapter 16: Respect

One moment after Ben and General Hux had left the ship and Leia realized what they were going to do, the connection was severed suddenly.  
Leia and Rey both kneeled on the floor, while Rey cried and Leia still had a hand on her shoulder in shock.  
Poe heard some parts of the conversation, at least from their side and remarked: "So much about him being able to turn, having light in him and stuff like that.  
I just started to hate him not so much anymore...Shall we ready the ships to defend Chandrila General?"

Leia took some time before answering, as she slowly stood up and regained her posture. Her gaze was hard and she turned slowly around to Poe and replied:  
"No. We won't ready the ships. We will stay here and wait how the situation will play out. I'll contact someone from the council who'll give us a detailed report about the current events."

"What? We are sitting on our asses, doing nothing while the planet get's attacked? The capital of the New Republic taken over?  
We have enough ships to..." Poe yelled out in disbelief.

But Leia interrupted him as she barked:  
"No Commander Dameron! Ben gave away the number of battleships which are orbiting the planet, as well as he ordered TIE-fighters scouting around it to fend us off. He warned us to not interfere as we'd be taken out in an instant. This is no battle we could win. I want us to keep a clear head, monitor their actions precisely and then make plans what to do. No rash decisions right now. Understood?"

One of the rebels who also saw the whole event cried out: "So you trust him just like that, that he told you the right numbers of battleships? What if he lied?  
He could have told you anything to stop us from interfering! He's the damn leader of the First Order! Of course, he doesn't want us to interrupt their assault!"

"He did not lie! His words were true and he warned us - once again!" Rey interfered suddenly with anger in her voice.

"Yeah someone who likes to get fucked by the enemy would of course also believe his lies!" The man suddenly sneered at Rey reproachfully with a disgusted face.

Rey's eyes widened in shock as she had never been so personally attacked by someone from her own ranks before as she inhaled sharply and stumbled backwards.  
Suddenly Leia pulled back an arm, walked forwards and punched a fist directly into the rebel's right cheek which made him quit down in an instant as he stumbled back and held his face completely dumbfounded. Everybody gasped and stared at them stunned as Leia hissed out: "You can go scrub the Base's toilets for the whole next week and think about what you just said. Do not talk disrespectfully to Rey ever again. She is doing us a great service!"  
The man who just got punched by Leia went red all the way, while he held his bruised cheek as he stumbled backwards and left the hangar with his head hanging down in shame.

Leia huffed shortly and returned to her professional self again. "I want everybody no to go back to their tasks now, while I contact the council to obtain more information about the assault. Then we'll meet again and plan our strategy afterwards. Everybody: Dismissed!" Leia ordered and brought her hands to her back as she walked to her office and motioned Poe and Rey to follow.

Poe laid his palm reassuringly on Rey's back and softly shoved her forward into the direction of Leia's office, while she glanced onto the ground with angry tears in her eyes. "This guy...he is an asshole Rey. Don't listen to him. You don't deserve this." He tried to calm her.  
She gulped down once with a lump in her throat and started babbling everything out which clouded her mind right now: "But...what if he's right? What if Ben lied to me all the way? And I believed everything like an idiot just because I've got feelings for him? I don't know anymore! Why would he do that? How can he be all gentle and nice, trying to protect me on one side and attacking this planet on the other side? This is plainly cruel! I don't understand his way of thinking!  
Or why he does these things. Some things I understood when he explained them to me, but this - I do not understand it. Why all these battleships?  
Are they going to destroy the planet? Kill everyone? Like they did with the Hosnian system? How does this bring order to the galaxy? Ben said he wanted to change the First Order. I believed him!"

"I don't know Rey. You are no idiot for believing him. Leia does too and she certainly is no idiot! I don't understand either what he is planning right now, I thought he's trying to go a different route since he took over, but this doesn't look like that at all. Maybe...I don't know what...let's see what the member of the council has to say to Leia if she is able to contact him. Okay?" Poe answered with knitted eyebrows as they entered the office.

Leia sat there with her palms folded in front on the table and motioned them both to sit down.  
"So...What now? What will happen? What are we supposed to do?" Poe asked expectantly.

"So there are three possible scenarios I can think of how, or why they are doing this.  
Number one is: Attack the whole planet, kill everybody, destroy everything. Which is not likely as they want to establish a new order for which they'd need this planet to control the other systems.  
Number two: They are killing off every politician and replace them with their own. Also not likely, as it would bring chaos for some time and they'd need lot's of experienced people for these jobs.  
Number two and a half: "They are not killing every one of the politicians, but some and just replace the ones who wouldn't want to serve them.  
Very likely in my opinion.  
Number three: They want to keep an eye on the planet for some reason, that's why they brought so many battleships so nobody gets in or out without them knowing about it. Establishing a blockade. Very likely too, but I don't know why they'd do that. Maybe to search for something.  
Number three and a half: A combination of the options I just concluded."  
Leia explained while she looked at both of them.

"Okay. All of this sounds bad. But some things much worse than others. How do we find out? With that contact you have?" Rey asked and leaned back with arms crossed over her chest.  
"Yup. I'll try to reach him right now. I hope he's not in the middle of everything at the moment. But he might be." Leia answered and turned around to her communication system to activate it. I took some time for anything to happen, but after several minutes there was a small hologram of a young man appearing in front of them who greeted them slightly nervous: "Oh good morning General Organa! Such a coincidence you are calling right now!" He remarked with surprise.  
"Why?" Leia asked, but seemed to know why he was saying it.  
"Is...is your communication safe? Can it be backtracked to your location?" The man asked while he again looked around.  
"No, it is encrypted." Leia answered with a smile. "We received information about the First Order assaulting Chandrila. Are you safe? Can we talk?"

"Uhm...I think I am safe - for now. I am not sure though. Actually, I am in the government building at this moment and the First Order just marched in and is occupying the place." He answered still a little nervous.  
"Oh, kriff! Should I severe the connection? Are you hiding right now?" Leia suddenly questioned him with widened eyes.  
"No. No. It's ok, I guess. We are allowed to use communication devices." The man answered as he shrugged his shoulders.  
"You are allowed to?... Okay. What does the First Order do right now? What are their motives?" Leia asked again with raised eyebrows while Poe and Rey looked at her in confusion.

"General Hux and Supreme Leader Kylo Ren marched in, followed by several other generals and Stormtroopers. They blocked all doors and declared the planet Chandrila as occupied. The General delivered a frightening speech to us and accused our trade routes being used as smuggling lanes, our politicians to be corrupt and our politics bringing chaos to the Outer Rim system, supporting slave trade and the rise of piracy factions amongst the galaxy. Then he told us that the First Order is going to end this reign of chaos and anarchy and that everybody who is responsible for this will pay the ultimate price for it."

He paused for a moment and brushed a hand through his hair as if he was nervous again, while Leia nodded as she listened and commented: "Okay. What happened then? Keep on."

"After the General said these last words a panic broke out and several people tried to flee the hall, there was screaming and chaos, so they were called back by their colleagues as the situation instantly seemed to become really tense and dangerous. After some seconds one First Order Stormtrooper Commander ordered to open fire and few people who tried to flee were shot until Kylo Ren threw the attacking Stormtroopers across the room with the force and ordered them to stop the shooting in an instant and put their weapons to stun.  
This event seemed really strange to me as if they didn't have a plan about how to handle the possible situation of a panic outbreak before. Everybody was confused and scared then and refrained from trying to flee. While the generals seemed to start arguing among each other."  
The man kept on explaining while he pulled up his hands in confusion and pulled a grimace, then he lowered his head to the communicator and whispered:  
"Actually, the ones who tried to flee first were the ones who have the most skeletons in their closets...I would have tried to flee too if I were them, you know...".  
Rey nearly smiled when she heard the part about Ben stopping the troopers from shooting, but refrained from doing so as this was still a serious situation and she still couldn't understand his motives.

"Understandable." Leia answered with a hard gaze on him. "How did you get out of the hall, what happened after the panic?"

"They ordered everyone back to their seats as their so-called 'Supreme Leader' explained there would be no harm coming to us if we comply and that the First Order is going to lead everyone outside in a mannered fashion to give their ID's, as well as all their business contacts and backgrounds, a throughout examination.  
"Meanwhile, the First Order ships which are orbiting the planet will control every in- and outcoming transport ships through a blockade. Just small civilian ships are free to pass. I had my scan already and we were lead back into the building. Obviously, everybody who had a clean record of some kind - who knows how they'd determine that - got their communication devices back which were confiscated before and are allowed to move freely inside the building again. That's why I can talk right now. I don't know what will happen next. Or what exactly they plan to do with the ones who don't have a clean record. The situation is relatively calm right now here, at least for the few ones who already got checked." The man explained while he seemed to take a seat somewhere.

Leia remained silent for several seconds until she answered: "Well, I am glad nothing happened to you. Is there any sign they'll let you go soon? Or how long this occupation will last? Or when they'll give you further information?"  
"I've got no answer to any of these questions. I was allowed to go back to my office at least. But nothing else by now." He mentioned.  
"Ok. I'll thank you for informing us about the whole situation. This is really helpful. Do you mind to contact us if anything else happens? Keep us updated?  
Without endangering yourself of course." Leia asked the man, nodding her head thankfully.  
"Yes, I will." He affirmed.  
"Stay safe! May the force be with you!" Leia smiled at him and turned the device off, while she turned around in her seat to face Poe and Rey again.

"This...this did not sound as bad as I imagined it to be actually." Poe admitted with a confused glance and shrugged his shoulders at Leia.  
"No, it doesn't. Nonetheless, they are occupying the planet, stripping it off their government and seem to separate the wheat from the chaff. To do...whatever afterwards." Leia pointed out flatly. "But still, I wonder how they think to have any valuable data about every one of the senators as well as their business relationships and such."

It suddenly clicked and Poe and Rey simultaneously blurted out: "Daveron!" And looked at each other, knowing exactly what the other one meant.  
Leia looked back and forth between these two and demurred: "I see, more things you two just forgot to tell me? Rey, I know you hid some things from me,  
but Poe I'm a little surprised now. But maybe - actually - no I am not anymore. What about Daveron? What are you two talking about?"

Poe ducked his head slightly away and glanced at her guiltily, while he crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"Uhm yeah about that. Rey had this force connection date thing with Kylo Ren when you kind of imprisoned her inside the Falcon for three days back then."  
He started and was interrupted by Rey: "Stars! Poe this was not a date!"  
"Yeah, I am sure it was not." He added sarcastically while rolling his eyes. "So Kylo Ren was somewhere attacking another government building on Daveron.  
Guess this is his hobby or so, I don't know. He accidentally stepped on a mine then. We helped him to not get ripped apart by it and when he survived, he told Rey, that they raided the building to get their hands on batches of secret documents and purchasing contracts between several planets throughout the galaxy."

Leia brought her hand up to her face in annoyance. "Maker...Dameron does _anybody_ actually tell me anything here anymore at all? Maybe I am getting too old for this. Ok - thank you for helping my son to not getting ripped apart by a mine, that was so very kind. But I hope you two realize, that I could have warned the government of Chandrila about the First Order hunting down questionable businesses throughout the galaxy and that all of this could have been avoided today then?"

Rey's eyes widened and she gestured around with sarcasm in her voice: "Questionable businesses? This is straight up about drugs, slavery, misappropriating state funds and maker knows what else! And you would have wanted to warn them? Like: Hey there evil, corrupt politicians, the First Order is coming to get you if you don't hide your business relationships better soon! Have a nice day!"  
"Uhm...She is kind of right. I mean the First Order did extremely horrifying things in the past, but this sounds somehow harmless and to be true, the politicians deserve to be dismissed from their duty when they are involved in these kinds of businesses." Poe tossed in suddenly.

"Yes, they have to be dismissed then. But without the planet being occupied or with them being killed. They could have performed a self-indictment to avoid all of it, as they'd be found out anyway." Leia answered with a firm voice.  
"So...You kind of do not think the First Order is doing something wrong right now?" Rey asked with a raised eyebrow.  
"Let's say - I understand what they want to achieve and why, but I do not support the way they are doing it at all. They are still overtaking the government by force, which is against any democratic values we worked for in the last thirty years with the Galactic Senate. They are exerting their politics over the galaxy through pure violence or at least threatening to use deathly force, which is by all means not a way to establish peace and balance." Leia explained and folded her hands again, while she stared at Rey.

"I...I don't think what Ben is doing, or at least how he is doing it is right. But how else would you be able to reveal all these crimes throughout the galaxy at once and gain back control over the regions that got out of hand, because of the certain individuals of the Galactic Senate, who tolerate or even work with illegal deals to enrich themselves?" Rey questioned her irresolutely.  
"Uh oh Rey...You are stepping on some dangerous ground here. That's exactly the way Ben always thought about how everything is supposed to be. Getting rid of things which are not the way they should be, to establish something completely new. Something, which was in his mind better, or different than before. If it must be, by force. But that's just the easy and fast way out, with the most harmful side effects for everyone. You could establish these goals too with democracy, laws, education, sanctions and some patience." Leia said with a frown on her face but also hurt as she seemed to think back to Ben's and her difficult mother-son relationship.

"He told me once: 'Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.' I think I understand now exactly what he meant by this. He was tired of waiting, of everyone sitting on their asses, waiting for the galaxy to become a better place by doing nothing at all against the rising crimes in the Outer Rim. He was also tired of the old rules and laws, taking forever to establish new things. He took off to force them to change everything and as far as I see it, he is indeed succeeding right now. At which price it is done, is something entirely else. But he is changing things for billions of people in a short amount of time right now. I am glad he doesn't do it like Snoke did, obliterating a whole star system. He seems to do it in a more peaceful way, which is of course still forced upon everyone and absolutely radical. Which doesn't make it right. But to be true, I can on some level relate to his actions."  
Rey finished with a hard gaze at Leia who followed her every word with an equally serious gaze.

* * *

 **Are the First Order the goodies? And the New Republic the lazy, corrupt fucks? Who knows?  
Leia punching a guy for disrespecting Rey? I liked it :D**


	17. Chapter 17: Conflict

**Giovanna Bays: Thank you for commenting so often. I love knowing you are reading everything :D  
Guest: Yeah Rey has to grow and learn the ways of the force. But the question is how? Nobody except for Ben is left to teach her, she can't understand the secret Jedi texts on her own and her lightsaber is broken. The things she applies and trains right now are the only possibilities and knowledge she has and knows about the force right now (make rocks and trees float & force healing)**

* * *

After their conversation in Leia's office, the three of them had a heated debate about the possible new alignment of the First Order under Ben's leadership.  
Or to be exact: Kylo Ren's leadership. As this was the name he still uses in public, probably because he doesn't want the connection to Han Solo and Leia to be known throughout the galaxy. Which seemed to benefit both sides. It wasn't even clear if the First Order knew whose son he was.  
So far only Rey was allowed to be calling him Ben when they met face to face.  
Whilst they discussed how to handle the occupation of Chandrila and if they should offer their aid, attack or stay idle until something happens, there was eventually a moment where Rey even made the suggestion to offer peace talks between the Resistance and the First Order to find out about their new course.  
Obviously, Ben was following a different way of handling the First Order politics and by now, he warned the Rebel's two times and there were no signs of them searching for the new Resistance's base since Hux had found their old one through one of their spies. So Rey thought peace talks might work somehow. Anyhow.  
She didn't know how, but she had this connection to Ben who was by chance the leader of said Order and there might be a possibility to bring them together.

Poe and Leia were shocked about that proposal at first, as the First Order and the Resistance were arch enemies for decades by now and there was no imaginable way for Leia, how any kind of peace talks would be possible as their tactics about reaching their goals differed so immensely. Not just that, but their goals themselves were completely different, as the First Order wanted to change everything fast and if it must be by force, while the Resistance just wanted everything to stay as it was these last thirty years.  
Leia also reminded Rey about the history of the First Order which consisted of former hardliners of the fallen empire, which meant they would surely not be as allegedly 'nice' as Ben's leadership seemed to be right now.  
Nonetheless, Rey announced to them she would be talking to Ben about this idea the next time they'd be connected, to which Leia reluctantly complied after some time with a dry laugh, but warned her to not have any hopes up and foreshadowed her attempt to be completely fruitless.

After their discussion, Leia decided to inform the whole base about the current situation on Chandrila and there were many questions as well as confused rebels who didn't know if it was the right decision to just wait it out until something 'bad' happens as well as others who were just surprised about these relatively mild,  
nearly peaceful actions by the First Order while some claimed it to be some kind of trap or diversionary tactic.

Two days went by without the Resistance interfering the occupation on Chandrila, while they were occasionally informed by Leia's contact about any news he could acquire. At some point, the senator, named Jorpsen, was even allowed to go home, while others who didn't have a clean record were taken to the First Order ships.  
The offices of each politician were rummaged through and several more influential people all over the planet were dismissed from office and taken to the ships, while the others were forced to keep the governmental system running for now. Everything was conspicuously calm and peaceful and with every hour which went by without anything happening, the Resistance felt like it was experiencing the lull before the storm, without knowing at all what will happen.  
Poe was on the edge to start a secret scouting mission to the planet to find out if everything really was so quiet as it seemed, but Rey, Finn and Rose were able to persuade him not to disobey Leia once again and that it would be too dangerous to go out alone. After several arguments the friends had about his idea,  
he finally listened to them and decided to stay at the base for now.

* * *

On day three Rey went to bed, feeling quite uneasy for some reason and was just about to fall asleep when she felt the familiar tingling sensation of their force connection, so she instantly tore open her eyes completely hyperaware and nervous while she sat up in an instant to search around for Ben.  
Finally, he appeared and didn't look at all like she thought him to be. She thought he'd look satisfied and maybe even proud of what he was achieving as he was taking huge steps in favour of the goals for the First Order right now.  
Instead, she found him slumped together on the floor in his room, next to his door, sitting with his lightsaber in one hand as if he was waiting for someone to barge in any second, while his head was leaned back against the metallic surface and his eyes had dark circles under them as if he hadn't slept for days.  
He looked utterly exhausted and had some kind of haunted glance in his eyes which looked pretty disturbing.

The moment he saw her, he moved his head a little away from the door and stared at her with a tired gaze and his lip curled upwards the slightest bit to something that should have resembled a grin, but it looked more sad and tired than anything else.  
Rey knitted her eyebrows together and suddenly felt tense as she knew something extremely bad was going on with him, so she stood up and slowly tiptoed barefoot,  
in her sleeping clothes over to him, eying him suspiciously.  
Just before she reached him he breathed out a: "Hey." Without saying anything else as he looked up at her from the ground. Her heart jumped a bit, hearing his raspy voice and she wondered since when he would greet her with something normal as a 'Hey' which was really unusual for him, making her worry even more.

She sat down next to him cross-legged, brushing his shoulder with hers while she leaned against the wall too and glanced sideways to analyze his face,  
realizing he really looked tired and somehow uneasy, but at least didn't seem like he was hurt.  
Rey reached her hand hesitantly out to brush his knee as she didn't know if it was okay for him to be touched right now. She whispered with worry in her voice:  
"Ben, you look like..."  
"...bantha fodder?" He finished her sentence questioningly while he pulled up his own hand to his knee and brushed just his fingertips with hers, as if he was scared to touch her. She felt a wave of his sadness, fear, anger but for some reason, also relief wash through her from his touch and she couldn't pull together the meaning of his mixed feelings but entwined her fingers with his.

"That's not what I initially wanted to say. I wanted to say something along the lines ...like you didn't sleep since forever, or ...like you are waiting for a shadow to jump through this door and strangle you, or...like you just murdered someone and are not sure if it was the right decision. Something like that actually."  
She smiled reassuringly but also sadly at him, trying to lighten his mood just the slightest bit.

"Did you read my mind?" He asked with a groan and leaned his head back against the wall once again as he closed his eyes for a bit.  
She looked at him confused and clarified: "Uhm no. These were jokes actually."  
"Oh. Ok." He just stated and kept quiet.  
"Why did you think I read your mind?" She asked with knitted eyebrows.  
He blinked at her with one eye open while he pulled up the collar of his jacket over his mouth to hide an upcoming yawn. She had never seen him yawn as he was normally absolutely concentrated and awake when they met. Even when she woke him up by crying in her room this one night, she had never seen him so tired,  
that he'd yawn in front of her. This motion would have looked insanely cute, she thought, if he wouldn't look so stressed out simultaneously too.  
"Cause your jokes were so accurate." He plainly answered without explaining it further and pulled down his collar again to flatten out the fabric with his palm.  
"My jokes...? You...What the hell? Ben! Seriously tell me what's going on! Why are you even sitting here?" Rey demanded suddenly, losing her temper already and nodded onto the floor he was sitting on.

"It's First Order internals. Sorry." He apologized and leaned back again.  
"Are you fucking kidding me? You look like a whole bantha herd trampled over you, you say my jokes about killing someone, being strangled and not sleeping since days sound accurate and then you fob me off with 'Uh sorry it's internals'?" She ranted and tossed up her hands in disbelief.  
Ben stared at her little outburst for several seconds with as much interest as he was able to manage in his state until he plainly answered: "Yes."  
"Maker!" Rey cried out in frustration.

"Then something else: Since we already know you are occupying the planet. How is it going?" She questioned him now, trying asking him from another perspective, maybe getting him to talk a bit.  
"Confidential too." He instantly replied.  
She groaned in annoyance and pondered for some time before asking something else: "What are you going to do with all these senators who you are boarding onto your ships after you've done their background checks?"

He shifted slightly in unease and hissed out: "How'd you know about that? It's kept completely secret that we are checking them at the moment."  
She grinned at his reaction and stated boldly: "Oh...you know. It's confidential."  
He huffed out and seemed to lean back into his former position as he growled defeated: "I am sure it is."

She stared forward, away from him and tried it with a different approach as she asked: "Phew. Okay. Then: When was the last time you slept?"  
There was a pause until he finally answered: "Three days ago."  
Rey huffed out with worry, but it sounded more annoyed than anything else because again she knew he wouldn't tell her why, but tried it anyway: "Because...?"  
"Because things are changing. The universe is. I am. Several important things are happening right now and it's just...hard to bear." He admitted truthfully and looked to the floor as his arm glided back onto his thigh, away from his knee and also away from her hand.  
She stared at him with concern and breathed out as she leaned forward, more against his shoulder: "Ben. Do you remember you can always tell me if you'd ever need my help, I'd be there for you? I was serious about that. You are important to me. You are not alone."  
Ben looked up again and his eyes searched hers but trembled slightly from his lack of sleep most likely.  
"I remember. Yes." He breathed out so quietly she nearly overheard it and it made her shudder at how sad his voice sounded right now.

"Ben. I know there is something going on with you, which you are not telling me - let me help." She pleaded with tears in her eyes, while she pulled her hand up to wrap it around his head and bury it in his black hair, as she brought her face so close to his, their noses nearly touched. "...Please." Rey choked out with an equally broken voice as he had back then in the throne room when he asked her to join him, while searching his eyes for any hints.  
He stared at her the whole time while his lips started to tremble as if he was going to say something any moment, but he didn't but instead leaned his head forward just like that, to rest it against her collarbone. She was surprised by this gesture and felt heartbroken, as she knew he was suffering somehow and didn't tell her why but was desperate for her touch and reassurance. She slid her other arm around him too and pulled one leg around his body while she cradled him like a crying child in front of her chest, trying to soak up everything which was tearing him apart right now.  
Rey had never seen him so vulnerable before and she felt helpless because she didn't know anymore how to help him, whatever was going on was something he had to work out on his own if he couldn't, or wouldn't tell her and she thought the only thing she was able to do now, was to be there for him in silence and send him waves of peace and calm through their connection.

They stayed like this for some time until he pulled back slightly to look at her and mumble: "I still got your lightsaber."  
"Since when do you think it's mine? You always wanted it." She questioned him visibly confused.  
"Yes, I did. I changed my mind. It never called to me, it has always been your's." He answered and reached out with his hand to call the saber into his open palms.  
It looked somehow different than before he snatched it away and her eyes widened as she saw, he had done something with it.  
When he held it out to her to take it, she saw it looked exactly as it did before they broke it apart in the throne room, as in not broken anymore.  
Tears started trailing down her face now and her hand trembled when she took it from his. "Ben...you...you repaired it?"  
"Yes." He plainly answered and brushed a gloved finger over the hilt which then wandered down to her palm and her wrist whilst he still leaned his head against her collarbone.  
"Why did you even take it away from me in the first place? What was that white light? Was it dangerous?" She asked now with interest while she turned the lightsaber around to examine it and found it to be completely functional again as she ignited it for a second.

"It was about to explode any second." He informed her with concern in his tired eyes as his thumb brushed her jaw.  
Rey ripped her eyes open in shock and held out the saber away from her body as if would explode right now and cried out: "WHAT?"  
"Just don't open it again to fumble with the crystal." He plainly ordered and took her hand with the saber in his to pull it down to her lap to place them both there.  
"Ok...Thank you Ben. That was really nice and thoughtful. I dearly missed it since...you know what." She breathed out, as she brushed her lips against his forehead to thank him and to just feel his closeness.  
He squeezed her fingers in response with his gloved hand and closed his eyes as he leaned into her even more, while she took a handful of his hair and pressed his head into the crook of her neck.

"Do you want to rest for a bit?" She asked as she felt through their touch just how close he was to falling asleep every other minute.  
"...Yeah. But I've got to stay right here." He answered with a raspy voice after thinking about it for some time while he nodded at the door, meaning he wanted to keep on sitting there.  
"Ben. Whatever is haunting you, I'll stay here with you and watch over you as long as the bond stays intact. Please. Rest. I am worried about you. Okay?"  
She whispered and started to draw small reassuring circles with her thumb against the back of his head and straddled him between her legs to make it more comfortable for him.  
He seemed to relax into her and closed his eyes as he exhaled a bit relieved, while he pulled his hand away from hers and brought it up to her hip to place it there as he stretched out his legs over hers.  
They were fully cuddling right now as Rey leaned back against the wall and she could feel his body weight as well as his warmth comfortably pressing against her, even though both of them had their lightsabers in each hand as if somebody would attack them at any given second.  
Again, she thought this moment could be insanely cute and loveable if there wouldn't be this big unspoken thing lingering between them, because of why Ben acts like he does and what exactly he was hiding from her right now but she couldn't do something about it because pushing it out from him wouldn't work at all.  
So she tried it with kindness and compassion, hoping it would help him on whatever road he was taking at the moment, hoping it will be the right one, the one which will bring him back to the light, be together with her somehow and leave everything else behind.

She was slowly raking her fingers through his thick black hair as she felt him diving into sleep in her arms and right now, even with these dark circles under his eyes and this utterly disturbed and exhausted glance he had before, she thought him to be the most beautiful looking, and alluring man she had ever seen.  
He looked so peaceful and harmless in this position and with his now relaxed face she couldn't believe he was the same man, who was feared by the whole universe.  
Indeed, she thought, he was not the same man, as it was Ben who rested in her arms, not his alter ego Kylo Ren.

They stayed like this for several hours and she wondered why the force was giving them so much time, as they mostly just had about one or two hours when they were connected. By now it felt like they were there, arm in arm for at least four hours or more, but she didn't have an exact time.  
He didn't move a bit and slept silently with his head leaned against her chest and she couldn't help but cry and sob occasionally in silence, careful not to wake him,  
as her thoughts drifted to every possible scenario what would disturb him so much he didn't sleep for several days and had to wait at his door with his lightsaber in one hand, ready to attack.  
She had thousand different ideas about it, but couldn't quite put something together which explained everything. She was at least sure, he somewhat feared to be attacked or killed, but then also didn't understand why he'd still stay there with the First Order. Rey didn't try to pry into his mind by force, even if she was extremely tempted to do so, as he would surely wake up from it and then be pissed about it or deflect it in an instant.

The night was peaceful and luckily nobody barged in as she completely expected it to happen and eventually after several hours she felt him shift between her arms as he started to wake up.  
Now she was the one who was slightly tired from staying awake the whole night and her body ached from sitting on the hard floor in the same position, but she didn't dare to move or let him go as long while they stayed like this because she somehow felt this was a really important moment for both of them to gain trust, even if he was asleep the whole time.

He pulled his head away from her chest and his hair was somehow a mess, as Rey had been brushing through it every now and then and he stared at her with such an intensity suddenly she was nearly frightened by it.  
Ben started to get to his feet, but stayed on her level, as he kneeled before her and breathed out: "Rey...I think...no, I know...I fell in love with you. I truly did. Thank you for everything. You are the purest soul in the whole galaxy. You were the light to guide me."

Her eyes widened in shock but also with a rush of adrenaline from these sudden words of his feelings towards her. He already told her that she was special to him, she felt his compassion and feelings towards her through their bond, but she never thought he'd tell her, that he loves her and she had the slightest notion there was a reason he is telling her this right now at this very moment.  
Her mouth opened as she felt tears spilling out of her eyes in a second, fearing the worst and her chest felt insanely tense suddenly, while her heart beat wildly against her chest and started to hurt from fear. "Ben...I..." She breathed out with sobs and pulled her arm forward to his face. But he took it and shoved it back, as he leaned forward and shut her up as he caught her lips with his as he placed such a heartfelt kiss onto her mouth, which knocked her out of breath. His emotions seeped into her like blood would stain fabric until it would be completely soaked with it.  
She felt his fear and sorrow, but also just deep, pure, innocent love for her, but there was more. Guilt. Oh so much guilt. Why did he feel so guilty suddenly?  
What is happening? What is he going to do?

She pulled away from him and still cried, now even more while she asked with a trembling voice: "Ben...What...?" But he just kissed her forehead instead and let his lips brush against it as he mumbled with hurt dripping from his words: "I am so sorry Rey. I love you so much."  
Then he suddenly vanished as if he knew or felt exactly when the connection would break before it did.

* * *

Rey stood up, her legs were shaking and she felt like somebody had punched into her stomach. Her heart ached and she could still feel his touch while still holding the repaired lightsaber in her trembling hand. She knew something terrible was going to happen, or he will make it happen and she feared for the worst.  
For the galaxy, for her friends, for the Resistance, for herself but mostly for him too. She had to do something. Anything!  
Tell somebody about this, so someone will maybe tell her she's overreacting or has any plan what to do, as she was completely at a loss.

She darted out of her room and saw it was already dawn when she entered the hangar and the first rays of sunlight struck her tear-stained face.  
There was a bunch of people huddled together in a group, while Leia stood in the middle and everybody was listening closely to her comm-link.  
Finn, Rose and Poe were there too and Finn was holding Rose in his arm, while she trembled slightly.

Rey's heart felt like it leapt into her throat and she approached them slowly. Poe saw her first and his gaze was worried and disturbed. The comm-link went quiet several seconds before she reached them and she stumbled forwards as everyone stared at her now. "Leia...What happened?" She pressed out with a raspy voice and had problems standing on her own from her wobbly knees. Poe pulled his arm up and laid it on her shoulder blade to keep her steady.

Leia's gaze was full of sorrow and worry, as tears started to appear in her eyes.  
"This was my contact from Chandrila...Right now, the First Order is executing every one of the allegedly corrupt senators publicly in front of the government building while reading out their worst deeds.  
They also issued an ultimatum to the galaxy. They claim to possess a Starkiller Base II which they are going to use in three hours standard time to obliterate the Coruscant system, if Coruscant does not subject to their rule in the given time. The ultimatum was spoken and broadcasted out by the Supreme Leader himself...Ben."

* * *

 **Aww, Ben fell asleep like a baby in Rey's arms. Right before he announces to obliterate a whole star system with several planets. I bet he slept well.  
"I AM SURE HE DID!" (Rey angrily yells from the background)**


	18. Chapter 18: Freedom

"A...Another Starkiller Base? What? WHAT?" Rey cried out in disbelief, grabbing her head desperately as this was all too much for her to process.  
There could be no way, that there was another superweapon. It can not be! It must not be!  
"Yes. We don't know if what they say is true as we don't have any information about another planet with a superweapon, but we have every reason to take this threat very seriously." Leia explained with a firm voice as she stared at Rey with a hard gaze, but when she saw her tear-stained cheeks, Leia's eyes became softer and she cocked her head to the side slightly as she pressed her lips together before she asked with pity in her voice: "You saw Ben, didn't you? What happened?"

Rey glanced at the floor, while tears kept streaming down her cheeks. She didn't want to believe what she just heard. It couldn't be. It shouldn't be true.  
Why would Ben do this? How is this bringing any balance or peace to the galaxy? There would be no way, he could explain this course of action to her in any way she would understand it, as she did with the carpet bombing of Kessel. This - was mass murder again. But this time he was the one who ordered it.  
There would be no excuse or reason for him to do so, which would justify this unbelievably vile deed.

Rey really wished to doubt that he was the one who ordered it, but as she thought back to last night, at him acting all strange and apologizing before their connection was severed, the pieces came together to a whole new picture about everything he said. Did he apologize, because he knew she would eternally hate him for what he ordered today? Why else would he do so?  
Did he apologize, because he felt sorry for what he is going to do to the galaxy? But if so, why the hell would he do it anyway? Or did he just lie to her the whole time? About...everything? She knew he kept secrets, but it never felt as if he was lying. So either he was extremely good with it, or he told the truth.  
She did not understand anything at all and was seriously doubting her whole judgement about him, doubting every single moment they ever shared and everything he had ever said or done with her. To her. To her feelings. To her beliefs.

She felt utterly betrayed and guilty about believing him. Believing she could somehow redeem him, save him, turn him back to the light just by being there for him somehow, by developing feelings for him, showing him compassion and love. Of course, this wouldn't be enough. How would somebody who dwelled in the darkness for so long, who was so conflicted and mislead all his life just become good, by being loved? How stupid and blind she had been the whole time.  
Neither Leia nor Finn believed her before until she feverishly talked them into trusting him and they were just so right about it not doing so.  
In the meantime, nearly the whole Resistance base was assembled inside the hangar, while they listened to Leia and Rey talk with open mouths and shocked faces.

"Yes...I saw him. This night. He apologized to me and just vanished. He was not like himself. I now understand why."  
Rey answered after her sobbing finally ceased in a monotone voice as anger and hatred started to dwell up inside her and poured into her blood like poison.  
"He obviously knew _exactly_ what he was going to do today and didn't tell me. Of course, he didn't." She sneered in disgust and huffed out, changing her mood from being incredibly hurt to her standard self-protection program, which consisted of emotionlessness as well as defensive demeanour.

Leia closed her eyes with a hurtful glance and exhaled as she steadied herself, obviously also accepting that all these sparks of hope she fostered together with Rey slowly crumbled to dust.  
"I want every Resistance ship to be ready to take off. The First Order wants to have a full war, they will get one!  
I will contact all our allies of the New Republic to fight by our side. We can't let them take over the whole galaxy by force.  
We have three hours to find out where Starkiller Base II is located before they fire and we need every help we can get."  
Leia declared with a determined voice and resolution in her eyes. This incredible woman, she will never give up. Freeing and protecting the galaxy, holding up hope, fighting for the people it inherited will be what she does until her last breath leaves her lungs. Rey thought as she witnessed how fast Leia changed from being emotionally destroyed by her son - once again, to being her professional general self again.

Suddenly Finn stepped forward and uttered hesitantly: "I think I might have a clue where the base could be located..."  
Everyone gasped at him until Leia demanded: "Tell us, Finn. If you know anything - now is the right time to tell us! We're grasping at every straw."  
"I know, many years ago when the First Order searched for a fitting planet to build the superweapon, they decided for the ice planet as it matched all the needed requirements. But, they also had Mustafar in mind but decided against it as the ice planet was easier to handle, instead of a volcanic surface. But it mostly fit their desired requirements too. That's the only other planet I know of, which was mentioned to be built into a Starkiller Base that would work too. I...I didn't know, they might build another one there. Nobody knew. The decision fell on the ice planet and it was never mentioned again. And that's just some rumour I heard from other troopers who claimed to have heard it from some general who had babbled it out by accident."

"Mustafar? That's...that's were Darth Vader resided thirty years ago!" Leia gasped out. "That certainly would fit into Snoke's obsession with my father's legacy.  
Finn, are you absolutely sure about this?" She pressed him and took a step forward as she stared Finn down.  
Finn backed off a little, even if he was much taller than the general and stuttered: "I mean...I am not sure they continued these old plans. But at least I know, they had this planet as their second option back then. I can't tell for sure. If I'd known before this would be important or relevant somehow, I would have told you of course. But it wasn't mentioned for years. It's just a hunch, really. Maybe they found another planet. Or they are lying. We can't be sure. Don't nail me down on it!"  
He clarified and pulled up his hands in defence.

"That's good enough for me. We will make three divisions of our fleet. One will go to Mustafar, on to Chandrila, one to Coruscant.  
The one going to Mustafar will scout out if it's really the Starkiller Base II. If so, try to destroy it or at least interrupt the attack, distract them somehow, whatever works to buy us more time.  
The Chandrila crew will show presence and aid the local military with a counterattack if they decide to defend themselves against the occupation of their planet. They need to know, we are not leaving them alone with this.  
The Coruscant division will also show presence, contact the local military there and guide the fleet to Mustafar if it turns out to be Starkiller Base II and they decide to support us. This is what we can give the galaxy. If they decide to stand up for their own people, if they are brave enough to defy the First Order - now is the right time, their last chance to do so. The last spark of hope, before the fire goes out completely. I will contact every one of our allies immediately and wish you all well. Further instructions will follow as soon as everyone is ready to take off. May the force be with you!" General Leia instructed the whole base, everybody nodded to affirmed the plan and there were shouts of "May the force be with us" as well as "Good luck" And "Let the fire burn!" as the pilots hastily ran off to their X-wings and readied them for take off.

Rose and Finn shared a kiss and said goodbye as if they'd never see each other again, which was definitely a possibility as Rey realized when she thought about what they were going to do right now. She hugged them both and said her goodbyes too with teary eyes, hoping they all are doing the right thing, that the rest of the galaxy would be as willing and ready to defend their freedom and life's as the Resistance is and that everybody will get out alive somehow, even if she knew this was absolutely unlikely.

Poe, Chewbacca and Rey were the ones who'd board the Millenium Falcon and they also were the ones who'd lead the attack on Mustafar, hopes up it was the right planet.  
When the Falcon was ready to take off and Rey just was on her way to the ramp, Leia approached her and gave her a long heartfelt embrace as she consoled her:  
"Rey, I am sorry he did that to you. I am sorry he does this to everyone actually. There is too much darkness in him, too much of his grandfather, too much of Snoke's manipulation. I believed in him too again after you told me about your connection. After I saw him for that short amount of time when he saved you. But I see everything was for nothing. I give up. There is nothing more to save in him and it breaks my heart. I know yours is broken too, so I wanted to let you know,  
I believe in you, you are our all's hope and if you ever need support or just a shoulder to cry on, I'll be there for you. May the force guide your heart. Always."

Rey embraced her back, as tears started to form in her eyes for the approximately one-hundredth time in the last hours or so she thought and Chewbacca as well as Poe hugged Leia too and said their goodbyes.  
Then the three of them boarded the Falcon and jumped into hyperspace right after their take off. There were only two hours left since the message for the obliteration of the Coruscant system was broadcasted and it took them nearly one hour to reach Mustafar. They will barely be there in time and then just have one hour left to interrupt the attack, or even better destroy Starkiller Base II. Time is getting short and they had to find the base and make sure it is indeed the superweapon as Finn had predicted. If not, the Coruscant system will probably be obliterated and billions of people will die, or at least the First Order will take over the whole galaxy if the government decides to comply.

They flew through hyperspace and Rey felt extremely tense and conflicted. What if it was not the right planet? What if they failed? What if the other planets didn't want to support them? What if they'd rather give up and bow to the First Order? What if she had to fight Ben? So many questions, but no answers but they were on the verge of solving every single one in the next two hours.

Poe seemed to be nervous too and made some light-hearted jokes, but didn't really laugh when he told them which was unusual for him. He hoped the First Order would just have an electricity fallout before they'd shoot their superweapon or something similar. Or Rey would find out she could ward off such large laserbeams somehow with her super force magic powers.  
Rey let out some dry laughs but wasn't cheered up by anything he said. Her stomach hurt from anxiety and her hands felt sweaty and shaky around the control unit while they were on their way to Mustafar.  
A volcanic planet. She had never been to one. "Poe, did you ever go to Mustafar? How does it look?" She asked her copilot now. Chewbacca had taken the gunner seat again and was downstairs.  
"Nope. Never did. But I saw holo's of it. Everything is full of lava. They somehow mine minerals there. Really shitty, dark and a quite hot place I guess.  
Must be ugly." He answered and looked worried onto the ship's communication board every now and then as he was awaiting an update from Leia about the response from the other planets and their allies.

Eventually, the communicator finally started to crackle and Poe and Rey nearly crashed their heads together as they excitedly started to listen to the message.  
"This is General Leia, talking to the whole Resistance fleet right now. The division going to Chandrila reached their destination and are already in the middle of a space battle, supported by a huge number of individual civilians and their private spaceships who don't want to give up their freedom yet. The government is not lifting a finger as they are scared to go to war with the First Order after the announcement of a second possible Starkiller Base.  
Coruscant is on the verge to give up and bow to the First Order's demands but will decide after you reached Mustafar as they want to know for sure if they really possess another superweapon or not.  
If they do, the government doesn't want to jeopardize the lives of billions and will hand over the rule over the whole Coruscant system. Give me an update as soon as you reach Mustafar and can confirm it is another Starkiller Base or not."

"Black leader to Leia. Thank you for the update. We will keep you informed." Poe affirmed through the comm-link and leaned back in his seat annoyed.  
"Phew, that sounds like shit. I mean I didn't think civilians would go into a space battle to defend their freedom. That's actually fucking awesome!  
But the governments are lazy fucks and gave up already. These politicians don't have any courage, let alone a spine." The pilot spat out in disgust.

"Yeah, they seem to be sitting on their damn asses while the whole galaxy is being thrown into a dictatorship by force. This is horrible! For what do these systems even have a democracy if the politicians are not interested in defending it?" Rey cried out in frustration as she didn't understand how all these senators and counsellors could just give up everything like that, whilst their own people, the civilians are even taking a stance and interfere the occupation of their planet now to protect their freedom.

After some more time, Poe and Rey started to ready the Millenium Falcon to jump out of hyperspace as they were just five minutes away from the planet by now.  
"You okay?" Poe asked her as he put a hand on her shoulder and looked at her with worry in his eyes. "Yeah...No. Actually, I am not." Rey answered as her eyes wandered down to her hands where she held the lightsaber Ben had given her last night and brushed both thumbs against it. "I am scared that there truly will be another superweapon, that they will fire it and that I have to fight Ben. There will never be any balance nor peace in the universe then. Everything will succumb to darkness. We will be haunted and killed." Rey breathed out helplessly as she stared at him.

"Yeah, that sounds pretty shitty actually. You are right, but at least..." Poe started with a frown but the communication of the ship started to crackle again as a message from Leia reached them.  
"REY! Rey! What did you talk about with Ben? REY! Did he say anything else except apologizing and acting strange?" She heard Leia nearly scream panicky into the communicator.  
Rey was shocked at this sudden outburst by Leia and blurted out: "Leia? What is this all about? He...No, he didn't tell me anything else useful. Just something about the universe and him changing. And his emotions showed much guilt and fear. I don't know. As I said he was acting really strange. But nothing else. Why are you so agitated? What happened?"

"Right now I am receiving a message from his personal sequence on my private communicator. This is a sequence we last used when he was a child. He's sending something. A massive file actually. It's still transmitting. I can't open it as it's not done yet. I don't know what it is. Rey...please tell me did he do anything else?  
This is not normal!"  
Leia sounded panicked as if she was doubting her own actions right now. Why would Ben contact her? What is he sending her? A message to her personal communicator from his childhood?  
"Leia I don't know. He seemed really tired and jumpy, like if he expected something bad to happen. He...he told me he loves me. For the first time actually. Seconds before he apologized and vanished." Rey answered in desperation and shrugged her shoulders as she didn't know what else to say and it was slightly unpleasant to tell Leia this really private moment.  
"This sounds like a damn farewell to me!" Leia sneered out in anger and the communication stopped abruptly.

Poe looked confused at Rey and motioned a 'what?' with his mouth, while he jumped out of Hyperspace with the Falcon as they had finally reached their destination.  
From afar they could see the planet. It had a reddish glow and was sprinkled with black landmasses. It looked exactly like Rey would imagine the dark side if it was a planet.  
Poe and Rey both gasped as they leaned forward against the front window to have a better look. "You see that?" Rey asked in shock as she planted her index finger against the glass.

There was a whole fleet of First Order battleships nearby - at least seventy huge battleships floating in formation next to the planet.  
The planet itself seemed to be divided into two halves but bridged together and there was this huge cylinder, which obviously resembled the weapon's opening where the blast would leave it when it's being fired. It looked exactly like the first Starkiller Base but on another planet.  
"Shiiiiiiiit!" Poe burst out in panic as he instantly turned all the lights of the Falcon off, so they wouldn't be seen from the distance.  
"Black leader to all! If you jump out of Hyperspace turn off all your lights in an instant. There is a fleet of about seventy First Order battleships awaiting at Mustafar,  
which is indeed a super weapon as predicted." He commanded breathlessly from the shock of seeing this huge fleet.

There were several "Shits!' and "What the fucks?" As well as "Are you fucking serious's?" coming in simultaneously through their communication channel and Rey held her head in desperation. The other X-Wings now also appeared all around them but instantly went dark as they turned off their lights.  
"General Leia to the Mustafar division: Stay in position - don't attack!" Leia growled through the communicator.

"Stars...That's it Rey. We will never be able to interrupt them, let alone reach Mustafar. I didn't know they had such a fucking huge fleet.  
We always thought they'd have about thirty ships at a max. This is insane!" Poe yelled out as he pulled his palms up in desperation.  
"So...We are giving up?" Rey whispered out as she kept her glance straight on to the planet.  
"I don't know what to do now. We have absolutely no chance. We can as well shoot ourselves right now, would have the same effect in the end as attacking the planet with our small fleet. We would never get past that whole armada of battleships." He answered bitterly and rubbed his forehead.

Again their communicator crackled and they heard Leia's voice. Suddenly she sounded incredibly tense like she was about to cry and her voice was breaking every now and then. "Rey, Poe, I am just contacting you again...The transmission from Ben is through."  
"What is it?" Poe asked impatiently and leaned forward.  
"He sent us all the blueprints and plans of Starkiller Base II. All of them. The file was called 'hope'. Do you...do both you understand what this means?"  
Leia choked out, now fully crying and sobbing.  
"WHAT?" Poe and Rey screamed simultaneously into the communicator as they jumped up from their seats in shock.  
They instantly understood the heavy meaning of this exact act, of the special use of the word 'hope' as it was exactly the same word Leia used in her transmission to Obi-Wan Kenobi when she delivered the Deathstar plans to R2D2 for the Rebel's to destroy it. It was some kind of heroic story the rebel's on the base as well as all the people in the galaxy, who ever heard of the tale about the princess, the Jedi and the scoundrel who defeated the Empire and destroyed the Deathstar, liked to tell each other for decades and Rey had heard it several times by now and knew every detail about it.

Of course, Ben knew the story too and decided to give the plans the rebel's, to find out how to destroy Starkiller Base II as his mother did too, thirty years ago.  
Rey thought she was losing her mind at this turn of events once again and had to steady herself on a nearby wall.

"Is there anything else in the file?" Rey breathed out as she slowly lowered herself down onto the seat again. "There were several pages marked as important.  
Obviously, they overhauled their weak point we attacked last time. But..." Leia answered with a stressed out voice but was interrupted.  
"WAIT!" Poe yelled suddenly out and pointed at the planet in front of them. "Fuck! Look Rey, it's charging! Fuck, fuck, fuck why does it do that?  
The ultimatum is still an hour away!  
They gave Coruscant an hour more to decide! I don't understand anything! The fuck is happening?" He cried out desperately and pushed his palm against the glass in front of them to see better.  
"Leia - they are charging the weapon right now already!" Poe yelled into his communicator.  
"WHAT?" Leia just shouted back and they heard several confused voices over the communication of their channel from all the other rebels.  
Rey also stood up again and watched in disbelief as the weapon collects its energy in its cylinder-shaped opening as she gripped her lightsaber so hard, her knuckles started to hurt and turn white. "I need to see Ben...I need to know..." She mumbled out as she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself to concentrate.  
"What? What the hell? Rey? How? Why now? How the..." Poe started but was shushed by her in an instant.

Rey tried to reach out through the force the way Luke had taught her, feel everything surrounding her, Poe, Chewbacca, the metallic walls of the ship, the vibration of the engines, several Porgs which were still hatching in between small gaps in the corridors, the coldness of space, the rusty water pipe in the bathroom which was about to break any minute now.  
Then she tried to reach inside her, feel her heartbeat, her breath, the soft breeze of air circulating through the room from the air conditioner which brushed over her skin which gave her goosebumps, warm blood flowing through her veins, the force radiating off her in steady waves and then this other feeling, this humming, the tingle on her skin, this feeling she always shared with Ben when their connection was about to come to life. Maybe she was able to trigger it if she concentrated exactly on this feeling which brought them together every time.  
She put all her energy into this emotion and tried to clear her mind from everything else until she didn't even perceive anymore that she was on the Falcon or that Poe was still talking to her, as she didn't hear him anymore. While she did so she imagined reaching her hand out to Ben and whispered out to him: "Ben...Ben...Where are you...Ben...I need to see you...Please...Show me."

Eventually, a vision started to flicker in front of her eyes, it felt like the force connections she had with Ben before, but it wasn't steady and sometimes broke off for half a second before it reappeared.  
She saw Ben. And he saw her. They looked directly at each other now. His eyes widened in total shock and his mouth opened as it formed her name which he breathed out silently: "...Rey..." While she simultaneously whispered: "...Ben..." His lips started to tremble a bit and he pressed them together, while he gulped down and his eyes blinked slowly as he was fighting back tears suddenly.

After she stared at him for just some seconds, her eyes darted around to see him standing in front of several other generals who sat at a control board, with his hand outstretched into their direction as if he was mind controlling or intimidating them. In the background, there was a huge window through which she could see the outside, which mostly consisted of lava and steam and several metallic platforms. So he was obviously on Mustafar too. Then she also noticed screaming, shots and screeching metal outside as well. Really loud, as if it's right outside the room he was staying in and they tried to get in somehow.  
Suddenly one of the generals announced monotonously: "The weapon is charged, Supreme Leader."  
"Fire! NOW!" Ben yelled at him and used the force aggressively, to which the general grunted in pain to answer obviously under the influence of the force:  
"I will fire the weapon now." Then he and the other people in the room activated several buttons on the command board and the room started to shudder as a red light shone through the window and brightened Rey so much, she had to close her eyes, while she still heard people screaming who tried to enter the room.

Her vision faded as she found herself present on the Falcon once more as she stumbled backwards away from the bright light, but instead suddenly saw Poe standing in front of her screaming frantically with panic in his eyes, while he was shaking her shoulders with both hands. "REY! REY! FUCK! WAKE UP! REY! THEY ARE FIRING!" The moment she realized what he said she saw a thick red beam leaving Mustafar as well as some of the battleships suddenly jumping to lightspeed.  
But it was too late as the laser beam directly hit the whole First Order fleet of ships which weren't able to flee in time.  
A blinding red light illuminated space, nearly as big as a planet, while the ships exploded into huge red balls of sizzling energy with a loud bang as the reddish light flickered on Rey's and Poe's faces through the window of the Millenium Falcon.

And suddenly there was a silence. Absolute silence. And the space around Mustafar started to become dark as there was no more First Order ship orbiting it.  
All of them were gone. Nothing was left.

Obliterated to dust, flowing silently through space like glitter.

* * *

 **I imagine Ben standing in Leia's white dress in front of a droid, videotaping a holopad with: "Help me, Rey - soon to be Solo (after we are finally married). You are my only hope."**


	19. Chapter 19: Home

"What...the...actual...actual...FUCK?" Poe stammered out in absolute disbelief, with eyes so big they nearly popped out of their sockets as he suddenly let go of Rey's shoulders to turn around to press himself against the front window of the Falcon and watch the First Order ships being pulverized by the enormous, blinding red laser beam.  
They heard Chewie roar equally shocked from downstairs where he still sat in his gunner's chair, asking what just happened and who was responsible for this.  
Then their communication board started to blink like crazy as they received several messages at the same time, as all the rebels who also orbited Mustafar right now who saw what just happened, yelled into the channel simultaneously:

"What the hell happened?" - " _Who did this?_ " - "Was it a technical malfunction?" - " _Was it someone from us?_ " - "Did you all fucking see that?" - " _Fuck yeah!_ " - "Serves them right!" - " _Is this real?_ " "Did they do that to themselves?" - " _Are they somehow stupid?_ "

Everybody was extremely jubilant, cheered and cried out with surprise to the recent event while it became quite difficult to understand all these confused and joyful voices over their channel at the same time.  
Rey needed some seconds to process what had just taken place in front of their very eyes until she slowly turned her head around to Poe and remarked with a pale, uneasy face: "It was Ben." Poe was still pressed against the window, watching the metal pieces and dust clouds from the destroyed battleships float through space, but his head suddenly swirled around to her as he questioned with knitted eyebrows: "What? Why...why would he...wait...the file...Are you sure?" As he started to follow her thoughts.  
Rey's heart began to beat faster as she nodded sincerely at the pilot while her brain realized what Ben just did, what he planned all along and what he sacrificed for this moment. And that he was probably in deep trouble after his deed. If he was still alive. But she was certain she would feel if something were to happen to him.  
She already started to contemplate where exactly he was right now on Mustafar and how they are going to get there without being shot down by the ground defences of the planet.  
Right at this moment, the other voices from their channel were silenced as Leia's energetic voice came through their communicator: "Is it true?  
Did the weapon just destroy most of the First Order fleet? It was Ben...was he?"  
"Yes, Leia. I saw him through our bond just seconds ago, he did it. Some ships escaped, but most were destroyed. Leia...Ben is..." Rey started nervously to explain but was interrupted by the general. "...in deep trouble and you are going after him? I guessed so. Please bring him home and stay safe Rey! Poe you too. I trust you both and Chewbacca to come back alive from this - including my son."

"Pff. It appears to be I don't get a say in this rescue mission anyway." Poe snorted out and sat down in the pilot's seat, readying himself for the flight.  
"Poe...please." Rey also sat down and looked at him with pleading eyes.  
"Just kidding cinnamon roll! Of course, we'll get your boyfriend out there. Somehow...How exactly?" He grinned at her in anticipation with a bright smile.  
She exhaled in relief and grinned back at him a bit for the 'boyfriend' comment as she answered: "Han showed me this trick, how to avoid planetary shields on the last Starkiller Base. It's just a _little_ bit dangerous. But I guess we'll manage."  
"Which means?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.  
"Uhm - we need to bypass the shields trough hyperspace and jump out of it in time before we crash onto the surface. We did it once. It kind of worked."  
She explained proudly and fastened the seat belt around her torso.  
"Yeah. Ok. That sounds absolutely insane! Especially as there is lava everywhere...Nice! Let's do it then!" He laughed out loud as he made a circling motion next to his head with the index finger, motioning a 'We're fucking crazy for doing that' gesture and buckled up too.  
"Chewie - furball? You hear me? We are doing some stupid stuff now to land on Mustafar, then you gotta shoot down some stormtroopers and then we'll pick up the magic stick boy who just lost his job as the Supreme Leader." The pilot yelled down to the wookie.  
Chewbacca just growled back, that Ben better behave when they get him or he'll rip out his arms this time.

"Black Leader to all: Stay at your position and watch out for any approaching First Order ships. We are going on a _Solo_ mission." Poe announced to the other rebels via their channel with pride over his own joke.  
"Stars...Poe." Rey sneered at his Solo pun while she rolled her eyes.  
The mood within everyone in the Resistance had changed in seconds from total defeat and helplessness before the weapon was fired to hope and joy, finally seeing a chance again to push the First Order back, after the destruction of a huge part of their fleet. Of course, there still was Starkiller Base II, but they had the plans and they will find a way to destroy this one too.

Rey and Poe nodded at each other affirmingly until she yelled out: "Punch it Poe!" so they jumped into hyperspace - and out again a second afterwards as they already went through the shields. The ship was still extremely fast nearing the planet at an alarming rate and they both turned on the engines in an instant to work against the acceleration, so the ship won't crash into the lava. They were just seconds away from the burning ground suddenly and Rey ripped the control stick upwards as she switched some levers on and off to transfer the power from one engine to the others, so the ship would follow and lift itself up again. She heard Chewbacca groaning from downstairs in a slight panic as the ship's outer hull dipped slightly into the glowing hot lava already.  
"No Chewie - we are not going to die!...I think." Rey screamed out as she pulled the ship upwards with all her might, hoping they really won't sink into the hot,  
fluid ground underneath and that the Falcon's engines would be strong enough.  
Poe was yelling at the ship: "Come on girl - come on!" As he too pulled his controls upwards and pressed several buttons around him to reverse their direction.  
Finally, the Millenium Falcon lifted itself up again in the last possible second, after being dipped into lava a bit and they flew upwards while Rey and Poe high-fived each other in relief and cheered after this extremely tense moment with a near-ship-death experience.

The ground looked exactly like Poe had described it before. There was a never-ending ocean of lava under them, lots of smoke and sometimes small islands of igneous rock formations. Some platforms and bridges riddled the lava as well as several metallic formations which supposedly were First Order buildings.  
Suddenly they were being shot at from some ground defences which had already detected them and they had to manoeuvre the Falcon around it and away from the canons. "Okaaay - we gotta find him fast now! Can't stay here much longer! They've already found us!" Poe yelled out pretty stressed.  
The moment they breached through the shields of the planet Rey was already able to feel Ben's presence there and she got instantly excited but also worried as she hoped they'd be there in time because probably everyone on this planet is trying to get to him at the moment. After it was obvious what he had done to the First Order, they probably wanted to see him dead right now.

Rey steered the Falcon into the direction she felt his presence most, even if it was just a hunch and she didn't know if it was right. But somehow they had to find him.  
While they were still shot at by several cannons all over the planet, a number of TIE-fighters descended from the ground and started attacking them too.  
"Chewie! Get them!" Rey yelled as she also started shooting with the second cannon on their ship. It was hard to concentrate on flying, shooting and searching for Ben's presence through the force, but she had to somehow. As they went further and Chewbacca already hit two TIE-fighters, she started to hear this humming sound, which always sounded like calm breathing or the faint rhythm of a heartbeat to her and she instantly knew they were close to Ben now.  
"Nearly there...nearly there..." She mumbled to herself while they still avoided the attacks of Mustafar's defence system, while shooting down fighters all around them.

Then she finally saw Ben and her mouth fell open in shock. There was a huge building which partly laid in ruins, black smoke ascending from it, flames dancing inside the broken down walls.  
In front of it was a huge metal platform, surrounded by several bridges which were connected to other smaller platforms and buildings around it, which were built onto the flowing lava stream beneath them.  
Rey could see so many dead stormtroopers laying all around the platform, she wasn't able to count them anymore, some of them were even laying on top of each other and half of their bodies were eaten by lava as their armour started to burn and melt down. TIE-fighters circled the battlefield and shot at Ben, while he was defending himself with his lightsaber on a broken off bridge against several stormtroopers in unusual black armour. They either shot at him or attacked him directly with vibroweapons and he had to fend off laser blasts, direct attacks as well as dodge the TIE-fighter cannons all at once and it was a miracle he was still alive by then. In a nutshell: It looked really bad for him and she already saw some of the blasts going through his defences and directly hit him. He stumbled backwards mostly, further back onto the bridge and didn't attack anymore, but was purely in defence mode and obviously completely drained. He had just some minutes or maybe seconds to go before one shot will lethally injure him.  
"Deathtroopers..." Poe mumbled and looked out the window in disbelief. Rey didn't know what Deathtroopers were but concluded he meant the ones with the unusual black armour. Judging from their name, they seemed special, which probably meant they were much deadlier than normal troopers.

Rey unbuckled her belt instantly and jumped up, as she gripped her lightsaber and yelled: "Poe - let me down! Now! I'll get him!"  
"Are you fucking seriou...Damn! Whatever! I'll open the ramp, so you can jump out. We'll cover you from above!"  
Rey darted to the ramp as the door opened and Poe lowered the Falcon while Chewbacca kept shooting at pretty much every moving thing around them.  
When they nearly reached the ground, Ben and her changed glances for the fraction of a second, while he kept on swirling his lightsaber to avoid more incoming shots, but was simultaneously hit in the side by a vibrodagger from one of these Deathtroopers who again charged at him.

Rey ran forward as fast as her legs would carry her, jumped out of the Falcon, lightsaber raised next to her head as she let out a piercing scream at the top of her lungs the moment she saw Ben being injured. Then it all happened at once, she swung her blade while screaming even louder and the moment she landed on the metallic ground instantly beheaded two Deathtroopers with one strike, while the other four were thrown aside by some kind of force she suddenly pushed out of her body without knowing she would as if she had unleashed some kind of force through her scream.  
One short moment after the troopers fell down, Rey instantly ran over to Ben and stood in front of him in a defensive position with the raised lightsaber as he screamed at her: "Rey? No! Go back!"

"The fuck I'll do!" She yelled back angrily and warded of several incoming blaster shots from all sides together with Ben.  
The remaining Deathtroopers stood up again and charged at both force users, two pulled out their blasters and shot at them which Ben froze in midair with a raised hand as she parried off the strikes of their vibroweapons. TIE-fighters from above shot at them too and the whole bridge started to shake from the heavy blaster fire it had to endure and Rey struggled to stand upright as she ducked away and kicked one of the Deathtroopers in his stomach, while his weapon grazed her arm from which she cried out in pain.  
Finally, she heard the humming sound of the Millenium Falcon again somewhere behind them so she yelled: "Behind us!" and pushed Ben back with her own body so he'd go to the end of the bridge. He complied without resistance and froze several more blasts in midair to protect them while dealing heavy blows with his lightsaber to one of the Deathtroopers who was just about to stab Rey into her leg. Suddenly the bridge started to quiver immensely and she heard metal creaking under their feet. The bridge was about to collapse from the heavy blaster fire by the TIE-fighters above them and they were surrounded by lava, which meant they had to get off - now!

The creaking became even louder and suddenly she felt the ground move under her feet, as the metal floor started tilting towards the lava. On last push with the force as Rey screamed so loud, it rung in her own ears and she threw the remaining Deathtroopers onto their backs again with a push, turned herself around to face Ben and force pushed him too as the Falcon hovered directly behind him under the bridge. She saw him slide down the floor on his back as he fell down into the open ramp of the Falcon, while he reached out his own gloved hand and screamed her name. Then she felt a sudden pull somewhere around her hip and too slid down the bridge, which was now nearly vertical and was pulled into the Falcon by the force from his outreached hand where she was thrown against Ben's body and they both crashed into the wall behind them.

The second they were inside the ship, Poe instantly lifted the Millenium Falcon up and closed the ramp midflight as he directly jumped into hyperspace as soon as the door was closed. Rey and Ben laid extremely uncomfortably on top of each other, as her knee had hit his face while he had kicked his boot into her side accidentally from the collision.  
They both grunted out in pain as they tried to somehow get away from each other to not press into their injuries with their body weight.  
But it was obvious Ben had much more wounds than she had, as his clothes were perforated at multiple points as well as there were blood splatters all around him on the floor and the wall.

She instantly straightened herself and blurted out resentfully: "Ben, you are the fucking worst!" But the second she had said it, she already crashed her face down to his and kissed him feverishly and relieved to see him alive as she cupped his face with both hands and bruised her lips so much against his, it hurt.  
He tried to pull himself up from his slumped together, kind of seating position against the wall but wasn't able to and enveloped her wrists with his trembling hands as he eagerly kissed her back while he muttered into her open mouth, repeating her name and other things she didn't quite understand as they wouldn't let go of each other. Not even allowing the other one to breathe right now while he pulled her into his arms in an embrace as she climbed on top of his outstretched legs and gripped a handful of his black hair on the back of his head as she too mumbled his name into his ear and how stupid he is for doing all of that without telling her, while his mouth wandered all over her face now with wet, smacking and bloody kisses full of longing as if he tried to place one on every single one of her freckles.

Eventually, they were disrupted by the frisky voice of Poe, somewhere in the background, who used the communication device on board to inform Leia:  
"Black Leader to General Leia. We got him, he's hurt, but alive...and they are currently _very occupied_ with their reunion...yes. We'll head back to the base now,  
I'll order my squad back too." "Black leader to red squad - our Solo mission was a success, everybody head back to our base now."

Both slowly ceased their wild making out session when they heard Poe talking but didn't look away from each other and kept staring into their eyes.  
"Rey...you came for me. After everything..." He half asked, half stated as he brushed his thumb alongside her jaw while she kneeled in front of him and had a grip on his thighs.  
"Of course I did. After you fucking broke your promise to come to for me, at least I had to do this part!" She wailed out as she looked up and down his body to see blood seeping out of his wounds.  
"I am sorry! Things changed...I couldn't..." He stuttered and held one hand against a particular big wound on his chest while he coughed out and groaned.  
"I know Ben. I know. Stars, I know! We'll talk about this some other time. You are injured! Fucking much at that!" She cried out and touched his chest. She didn't even see where all these injuries were as most of the fabric from his clothes was by now soaked with blood.

"Come on, help me!" Rey ordered, as she pulled him forward and started to open his waistbelt and undo his tunic to undress him to see the amount of damage.  
Under any other circumstance she would have found this to be extremely arousing, but right now she just needed to see the injuries to his body, which seemed to be massive judging by the loss of blood which formed increasing red puddles under them.  
Poe had left his seat and walked over to them, as well as Chewbacca who just climbed up the stairs from his gunner position and Ben looked around as he saw them both and groaned in annoyance while he helped Rey to undress his upper body by pulling out his arms from the shirt.

Chewbacca just let out something like a whimper, which sounded as if he had said: _"Little Ben is hurt._ " Whilst Poe pulled up a hand to his forehead,  
pretty stressed with the situation and asked: "You two need any help or something?"  
They both looked up at him until Rey answered: "Yeah get all the bacta patches and bandages you can find, as well as the saline solution and painkillers."  
"Alright!" Poe saluted her and instantly walked off to gather the things.  
When she finally got the tunic off him, he still wore a sleeveless shirt under it, which she now pulled upwards to see his skin. She couldn't even count how many blaster wounds and slashes he had because blood was just everywhere. "Stars Ben...how often did you get shot?" She questioned him as she searched his eyes in panic and pulled her hand upwards to his chest, to the wound he held before in pain.

"Don't know. Didn't count." He pressed out as he seemingly started having problems with his breathing.  
"This one is the worst, I assume?" She asked as her hand hovered over the one, which was directly above his lungs. "Yeah." He breathed out faintly and nodded.  
"Ok." She stated with a firm voice and pulled one hand to her head, whilst the other stayed inches above his chest which started to glow slightly in a blueish light as she concentrated and used force healing on him.  
His eyes widened while his breathing sounded more rattled and uneven with every passing minute, while he touched the back of her hand with his fingertips in amazement as if he wanted to feel the flow of her energy with his own hand. Through the force, she found out why his breathing became so shallow. His left lung was punctuated and there was blood collecting in it already and he was on the verge to suffocate if it kept going on like that.  
Suddenly she felt frightened for him, as they still had an hour to fly through hyperspace before they'd reach the base and she never healed such a fatal wound like this.

Poe came back, with a box full of medical equipment and uttered a: "Maker...What the...?" When he saw all the blood around Ben now, which was still seeping out of him. He kneeled down beside them and Ben's eyes darted over to the pilot with a hateful glance but he was too weak already to do anything else than glare.  
"Ok magic stick boy you are bleeding out right here. I'll punch a needle inside you with the saline solution and put some bandages around you, whilst your girl does her force stuff. Don't try anything funny, okay?"  
Ben glared at him as if he tried to force choke him just through looks until Rey muttered a low warning: "...Ben". So he closed his eyes in annoyance and lifted up his left arm to Poe, so he'd be able to place the needle, whilst Rey kept on healing him.

Ben bowed sideways suddenly and Rey's hand was pushed away by his movement, as he started to cough again and blood splattered all over his arm which he held in front of his mouth to avoid having it everywhere, which quite didn't matter anymore because it was already everywhere. He didn't stop coughing and choking and it became worse with every second to the point that he was more gasping than breathing.  
"Ben! You have to stay calm!" She cried out as she saw he was starting to panic from lack of breath now.  
"Fuck, he's panicking. He's going to suffocate like that." Poe yelled out suddenly and pushed him down on his side into a recovery position while he held up the IV bag with the infusion, to which Ben surprisingly didn't even object as he was too busy with choking.  
Rey was starting to tear up right now, this couldn't be happening. She couldn't find Ben, willingly to come with her after he finally abandoned the First Order and then suffocate from his own blood because they didn't reach the base fast enough. This was horrible!

"Poe treat the other wounds - I'll try something out!" Rey ordered panicky and too laid down on her side to the floor, into Ben's puddles of blood as she shuffled forward to lay parallel to him.  
She pulled one hand forward and touched his forehead while the other was sprawled across his chest to keep on healing his ruptured lung.  
She was sending him steady and peaceful waves of light in the same rhythm as her own breathing through the force as she whispered to him to calm down and to keep focused on her voice, to concentrate on his breathing and to feel the healing of his lung by her hand. She repeated these things over and over while he was already shaking from exhaustion as he still coughed out blood onto the floor.

After some minutes his coughing ceased slowly as he stopped panicking and tried to keep his focus on her. His breathing rattled through his lungs and was extremely shallow, but he managed to keep it somehow even as he stared at Rey with fear but also concentration in his eyes.  
This must be extremely hard for him as she could hear by how he breathed that he had so much blood in his lungs, it sounded like he was trying to breathe underwater. Meanwhile, Poe watched them silently as he put one bacta patch after another on Ben's back and the sides, as well as he bandaged his arms and found two more blaster wounds on his legs, which he just bandaged over the fabric.

When he was done, he looked over to Chewbacca and said: "Chewie, please contact the base to prepare the med-bay for him. He has at least eight blaster wounds, several deep cuts and one punctured lung. He also needs a blood transfusion. Leia knows his blood type I guess."

Chewbacca growled in acknowledgement and went over to the communicator to contact her.  
While Ben's eyes were fixed on Rey's to concentrate on his breathing as he laid on his side, she was still whispering to him and she breathed out with a smile:  
"You know...I didn't have time to answer yesterday as you just vanished. But I wanted to say: I fell in love with you too. Right after Crait I slowly started to understand what was going on in my mind since we first met. Poe had to explain it to me after some time then, as I was too stupid to realize it myself at first.  
I never knew what love feels like. But now I know and it is the best damn thing that ever happened to me." Then she smiled at him, while his eyes darted for a second to Poe, then back to her and he pulled his hand forward with difficulty to brush his index finger against her cheek, while his mouth curled upwards just the slightest bit and his eyes started to glisten by her words. He still wasn't able to talk as he had to concentrate on not to suffocate but she could feel a wave of love and empathy and affection reach her as soon as his hand touched her skin.  
She reflected the same feelings and he closed his eyes for a moment as he let her emotions wash over him.

One hour. They had to stay for one hour like that, so he can get professional medical aid on the base.  
Lying next to Ben, calming him down and brushing her hand through his hair while he stared into her eyes was something she could do for an hour, with ease.


	20. Chapter 20: Finally

**And here we'll have another fluff chapter coming up. But they kind of deserve it after recent events I guess.**

* * *

Poe and Chewbacca directed the ship back to their base while receiving information from Leia that the First Order is withdrawing their fleet from Chandrila suddenly, as all their ships jumped into hyperspace an instant after the news of the events on Mustafar has reached the planet.  
Everybody was overjoyed at the absolutely unexpected outcome and they wanted to know the name of the Resistance hero who was responsible for it. But Leia refused to give them an honest answer for now, but instead claimed not to know yet who did it. She doubted Ben wants to be seen as a 'Resistance Hero', so she'd decided to better ask him before telling anybody about his actions. In the meantime, Poe talked with Finn and Rose, who also made it out unharmed and who were on their way back to the base too.

While the Millenium Falcon was still on its way, Rey remained on the floor next to Ben, who still had much trouble getting enough air in his lungs as he had refrained to rapid, shallow breathing which brought him on the edge of unconsciousness from the lack of oxygen. She was getting anxious from his steadily deteriorating condition but she tried to stay calm and not let it show too much, as she didn't want him to panic again because he'd definitely suffocate next time he'd hyperventilate.

Through force healing, Rey managed to close the injury in his chest and some of his blaster wounds, until she felt extremely drained, but that didn't make the blood go away which had already pooled inside his lungs. It was above her abilities to drain that out, so they dearly needed professional help so she hoped dearly they'd be there soon before he passes out.  
As they laid there face to face just inches away from each other, Rey thought she needed him to stay awake somehow as his eyes started trembling while his breathing was lowly rattling and getting slower with each passing minute to not strain his lungs too much.  
"Ben, I need you to stay awake until we reach the base. You know that, don't you?" She asked him with a smile, which was more to reassure him than to show that she was happy, which she wasn't at all right now. Happy to finally have him by her side yes, happy to see him like that - absolutely not.

Suddenly she felt him nudging her mind and she opened up to him like she once did on Cantonica, when he warned her before breaking off the cliff.

 _"I'm trying... Tell me something about yourself. Anything actually. Might keep me awake for some more minutes."_

Rey heard his voice in her mind as his fingertips grazed her wrist. She didn't know how she could answer him through the force back into his mind, she just knew how she accidentally slipped into his, when he tried to torture her but she wasn't going to do this right now as it would surely be stressful on him as it was to her back then. So she talked with her normal voice to him, while he could talk into her mind if he was able to.

"Isn't it straining for you, to talk to me through the bond right now?"

She asked first before answering him.

 _"So-so. Rather hard to form whole sentences right now. Need to concentrate on breathing."_

Rey heard his voice in her mind.

"Then, don't overstrain it. Ok...so something about me. Uhm. Actually, nobody ever asked me stuff about myself. Except for Luke, he asked me where I was from and laughed when I told him it's Jakku, saying this is pretty much nowhere. Then he kept on calling me _Rey from nowhere_. As if it was my last name. Because I have none." She grinned at that memory, but instantly thought she maybe shouldn't keep on talking about Luke with him right now.

"This is kind of hard to think of something. Let me ponder for a second."

Rey confessed and knitted her eyebrows together. Maybe she'll tell something from Jakku - what else should she tell him? It's not like she had anything else except this life on the desert planet before she joined the Resistance. Maybe something interesting or funny, which might spark his interest. He certainly doesn't want to hear about her scratching one line after another every day into the wall inside the old AT-AT she lived in. Then she remembered he already knew that, as well as certain other things from her life as he had seen it in her mind when he pried into her. Which he actually found quite interesting back then. So she might tell him something else, which he hadn't seen already.

"Ok. Got something! So, I had a speeder on Jakku. I built it myself. From scratch actually. I named it Baby and it was only unlocked by my fingerprint, so nobody could steal it from me. I painted it as orange as Jakku's sun and it was so incredibly fast, I could outrun any bandit with it. And it was the only thing I was really passionate about and the only thing I am actually sad, that I had to leave it behind in the desert when I had to flee in the Falcon together with Finn.  
It took me months to build it as I had to scavenge all these parts from old starship graveyards and Nima outpost. Some items I couldn't find anywhere else, I bought from Teedo traders. But I had to trade parts against other parts or portions against parts. So every now and then when I really needed to buy a part, I traded all my collected portions, so I had enough valuable things to exchange."

 _"S you starved yourself for the required parts?"_

She heard him question it in her head.

"Yeah. I had to. It was some kind of investment. Having a speeder meant, my radius grew wider for scavenging, being able to carry more stuff and such.  
Also, I wasn't so vulnerable anymore to thieves, robbers, creatures and everybody else, because I could just speed away with it, rather than fighting them or running away by foot. My baby saved my life several times because it was so fast. Stars I loved it. Speeding through the desert was my favourite thing! Apart from eating.  
I love food as I didn't have it regularly back then. Food is the best. After speeding. Or maybe both at the same time. Rey explained while her eyes closed for a second as she imagined herself flying the Falcon while eating all kinds of different foods simultaneously.

 _"I guessed you'd be a hellbent speeder, judging by your reckless flying skills."_

She heard him in her mind and had to laugh at that.

"Is this a compliment or an insult to my flying technique?"

She asked with a grin and poked his arm a little.

 _"A compliment."_

He honestly answered in her head with a sincere glance.

Then she asked with interest, as food was an important topic for her:

"Which food do you actually like most? Did you at least have better food on these First Order ships than these disgusting leftover imperial portions I always ate?

" _Fruits. Apples are my favourite. In recent times also berries. We also had portions there. But higher quality for the generals and commanders. Imperial and Republic food rations are disgusting and lack nutrition. Had them too when I was with Luke the whole time."_

She heard him and had to smile at the berry remark as she instantly knew he meant this one time they ate some together when they translated the Jedi texts and had kissed and licked the berry juice hungrily from each other's lips.

Suddenly he coughed and closed his eyes for some seconds as he pressed his lips together in concentration.

"Everything alright?"

She asked with a worried glance as he pulled his hand back from hers and brushed it over his mouth as there was blood running out once again and his breathing got even more shallow. Ben took several seconds and groans until he finally nodded slowly but didn't answer her anymore as it probably was too stressful right now.

"Ok. Tell me if you are not, please. We are nearly there. Just some more minutes."

Rey assured him as tears welled up in her eyes feeling so helpless right now, as she desperately sent him some soothing, light waves of the force once more,  
which seemed to somehow calm him just the slightest bit.

"How is he doing down there?"

Poe yelled at her from his pilot's chair as he looked over at them after hearing him coughing again.

"He is doing...not so well actually. We have to reach the base really soon Poe."

"It's just four more minutes actually. He'll do four minutes longer, won't he? Again - Ex-Supreme Leader Kylo Ren - I gotta say you've got some shitty ways of nearly dying, ya know? On the floor of your old man's ship is really not cool."

"Poe seriously? Now?"

Rey snapped at him as she turned around and eyed the pilot angrily.

 _"I'm gonna choke him someday if I'll get alive out of this!"_

She heard Ben's voice in her head again and nearly had to laugh out loud.  
"Why are you laughing suddenly?" Poe asked her with a raised eyebrow.  
"He told me he's gonna choke you someday." She answered and brushed away a tear which escaped her eyes from laughing, but moreover from this tense situation fearing Ben wouldn't make it out alive the whole time, but also happy that he was still able to get unnerved by Poe.

"Then you should make an effort not to die if you want to choke me! Rey, is he into that? He doesn't do that to you, does he? Are you into that?"

Poe now joked with a grimace, gesturing as if he was choking himself now.

"Maker Poe. Sometimes I want to choke you too, you know? No, of course, he doesn't do that to me and I think it's not your damn business what he or I am into or what not."

She snapped at him as her face turned red when she thought back to what Ben did to her, when she came out of the fresher, as she now wondered what he might be into actually. At least she knew he liked to have some kind of dominance and control in this kind of situation. But that was what he always likes to have, so this didn't mean too much.

"We'll choke him together."

She whispered to Ben who looked at her with knitted eyebrows and she didn't know if he was pissed, confused or found this situation remotely funny.

 _"I'm into pilots who know when to shut the fuck up."_

Rey's eyes widened at his sarcasm and she laughed once more as her hand brushed through his dark hair, hoping this awkward conversation the three of them are having is somehow helping him to keep focused and awake until they reach the base.

"Why are you laughing now? You talk through your bond thing, don't you?"

Poe questioned her and pointed with his index finger from him to her back and forth as if he was drawing a line.

"Yeah, we are. He can't talk normally right now, so we are using the bond instead. He said he totally likes you too."

Rey lied to Poe as she thought Ben kind of deserved it for saying all these mean things about her friend and also this conversation seemed to somehow work to keep him awake.

"He didn't really say that at all didn't he?"

Poe instantly laughed while Chewbacca growled in response, that he also didn't believe her one bit.

"No, not really."

Rey admitted as she felt Ben stare at her with a slightly pissed glance now.

"Ok guys - fun talk is over, I'm jumping out of hyperspace now. Hold on!"

Poe announced suddenly and the ship instantly jolted to normal speed and Rey had to hold on to some metal pipes at the wall, while also steadying Ben with her other hand, who was sliding across the floor, leaving a red, bloody smear across it, while he groaned out in pain and instantly started to cough and gasp for air from the movement of his body, while he reached out with his hand and grabbed onto her leg to not slide too far away.  
She could see the planet approaching right now and started to grin widely as she knew, Ben did it - he stayed alive for long enough and he'll get help right now.

"Ben you'll get help now, we did it!"

She exclaimed happily as she sat upright and put a hand on his arm.  
He was still coughing and more blood splattered onto the floor from it and she instantly sent him soothing light waves of the force as she tried to calm his breathing down again until she heard him in her mind once: __

 _"They won't imprison or handcuff me, won't they? I will not stay if they'll try."_

"No, they won't. I'll make sure of that. As long as you don't attack or try to kill anyone. Then I'm all in for putting you in handcuffs."

She answered as she stroke her hand alongside his arm, still sending her soothing light waves.

"He might be into that too Rey."

Poe commented with a smirk and readied the Falcon to land.  
Ben just looked upwards to the pilot with a gaze that could kill people and for a moment she thought he'd even be able to really do so. But nothing happened as his eyes wandered down to her with an annoying glance and she kissed his temple, as she whispered with a smirk:

"Poe is understandably still a little pissed about you torturing him and slashing down Finn in the forest and also kidnapping me and attacking us on Crait and everything else, you know. I guess you kind of deserve to be riled up by him...and me."

 _"Understandable. Still an asshole."_

He just answered in her mind monotonously.

"Would you immediately bring our medic to the Falcon? Poe, or Chewie? I guess it's not good to move Ben around too much now. He nearly choked by your the jump from hyperspace.

Rey asked the other two on the ship.

"Will do!"

Poe saluted her and landed the Falcon as smoothly as he was able to in the base's hangar.  
The moment they landed Ben stared at her intensely, while Rey had her hand still on his shoulder as she proceeded to send him steady waves of the force which seemed to soothe him a little and help him with breathing until she heard him in her head again:

 _"Thank you, Rey. For everything. You are incredibly strong and brave."  
_  
She smiled at him as tears found her eyes again and she brushed his hair aside while the door of the Falcon opened and some light beams fell in from outside.  
Rey could see Leia and several other rebels stand in front of it, awaiting them eagerly. Leia smiled in anticipation as soon as the ramp lowered, but it faded in an instant to a worried frown the moment she saw all the blood smeared on the floor, the walls, Rey and Poe and of course on Ben. Poe was the first to leave the ship and ordered the medic to get inside immediately to treat Kylo Ren as he still called him and the man instantly ran inside with a bag full of supplies and kneeled down beside the two force users. Leia also stalked inside unsteadily at the sight of her injured son and looked at Rey helplessly while Poe stood next to them and overlooked everything with knitted eyebrows.  
The medic pulled out his equipment and hesitated before treating Ben as he asked:

"He...he can't like...kill me with his mind?"

"I don't know if he can, but I assure you he won't, Kelmar. Please get the blood finally out of his lungs, he's nearly suffocating since an hour."

Rey growled as she wanted him to start immediately without losing any more time.

"He's like a puppy right now." Poe snorted out and folded his arms in front of his chest.

The medic, Kelmar nodded slowly and pulled out a needle while a small droid was scanning Ben's body as he explained to him:

"This is something to drain out the fluid from the lungs, but probably I need to punctuate them later too. Right now this will help you breathe a little better."

Then the droid beeped and showed a hologram with results from the scan. The doctor's eyes widened as he readied the needle and mumbled out in disbelief at Leia:

"What the...Okay he's not dead yet? Wow! Everybody else would have died three times already by this amount of liquid in their lungs. Sure he's human Leia?"

Leia's eyes started to water as she watched the doctor push the needle into Ben's arm, while Rey was still stroking his head with a smile, knowing he'll be better soon.

"Yes, he is human. He's my son and I can't even start to express how thankful I am for you being alive and home right now Ben."

Rey saw Ben close his eyes after his mother had said these words and his lip started to tremble slightly, then she heard in her mind:

" _Please tell her to come closer,_ _I need to show her something."_

Rey nodded at him and answered:

"Sure. Leia, Ben wants to show you something, you've got to come down, he can't really move or talk right now."

The moment she had said it, Leia was already on her knees next to her son as he opened his eyes and directly looked at her, while tears started to stream down her face as she wasn't so close to him since years. Rey stood up, to give both of them some space and waited next to Poe to watch them.

"Oh maker...Ben...I waited so long for this."

Leia sobbed out with a broken voice as she reached her hand slowly into his direction. He did too and they touched their fingertips the same way as Rey and he did through their force connection back then when she was on Ahch-To in the hut.  
Ben's eyes darted back and forth as well as Leia's did until tears rolled down her cheeks and she pulled her other hand in front of her mouth, seemingly deeply moved by something they talked about. Rey was just a spectator but found this whole scene so utterly touching and emotional she too started to cry, as mother and son - finally united after everything - were having a conversation, nobody else was able to listen to. At some point, he suddenly breathed in really deep and loud and Rey panicked slightly as she didn't know why he suddenly did, but the doctor Kelmar instantly informed her:

"The remedy is starting to have an effect, he'll soon be able to breath better and more regular again."

Leia too breathed in deep and started to uncontrollably sob suddenly, while bowing forward and cradling Ben's cheek as she just mumbled:

"Please don't...I...don't. No. Never. Yes even now."

Then some more minutes went by, while the doctor pumped even more medicine into him until Leia again said:

"Rey told me already. Yes."

Suddenly her eyes widened and she laughed out loud, still with tears glistening in her eyes, which she happily brushed away:

"Well - that's perfect. You are the worst rebel scum in the history of the galaxy. A true Solo and Organa actually!"

* * *

 **Leia being Leia, insulting her nearly dying son as rebel scum as soon as they meet again. She'll surely get the Mother of the year award.**


	21. Chapter 21: Together

After Ben's breathing became slightly better from the medicine Kelmar had injected him and his mother and he finished their silent conversation, Rey and Leia pulled him up from both sides carefully and helped him exit the ship as he was finally able to move a bit without suffocating. But he was really weak and had to support himself on both of them to walk at all. She knew he hated it but they had no other choice. Chewbacca also offered to carry him, but Ben declined instantly as he didn't want to be bridal carried outside by the Wookie, which Rey would have found to be pretty funny actually, but she didn't want to upset him in this already devastating state.

When they slowly walked down the ramp together, several rebels including Finn and Rose stood there and waited for them, as everybody wanted to see the infamous Kylo Ren and congratulate them as it was obvious someone from their ship was responsible for the destruction of the First Order Fleet, as nobody else of the rebels did it. Ben still looked menacing enough with his tall, strong figure and blood splattered all over him so that several people flinched together in shock as soon as they saw him, whilst other gasped or started to chatter instantly. Rey grinned and waved at Rose and Finn when she saw them and Rose gave her a thumbs up while Finn folded his arms in front of his chest and frowned in refusal to the whole situation.  
The other rebels were already informed before their landing, that they would bring their 'guest Kylo Ren' to the base and that he won't be a harm to them, but they still didn't know it was him who fired the weapon at the First Order fleet. So there were also lots of people who were pissed and wary when they saw him as they didn't believe he'd just join them because he suddenly turned 'good' or defected.

Somewhere in between the crowd were the two girls who questioned Rey back then after the mission on Cantonica about so many details of their relationship to each other and about him, so she rolled her eyes in annoyance instantly when she saw them, as one woman waved at him while she yelled:

"Kylo! You are the best!"

Then Rey heard the girl talking excitedly to her friend as they were discussing his height and his hair. How are they actually completely ignoring Rey just like that? He is her boyfr... Just now she realized she was somehow getting jealous and also didn't exactly know what kind of connection or relationship she and Ben were having, so she couldn't claim him as her 'boyfriend' right now.

"...the fuck?"

He mumbled to Leia and Rey after he heard the girl, as they finally reached the door to the medical room.

"You already got yourself a small fan club since Rey revealed your bond and saved us this one time on the first base."

Leia commented with an amused voice.

"Pathetic."

He groaned out as he was brought down by his mother and Rey onto a bed inside the base's medical wing.  
Rey laughed nervously as she was instantly relieved he didn't like the attention he received from these girls and he stared at her a little confused by her sudden, abnormal laugh.  
Ben then laid down as the doctor was scanning his chest with the droid again and unravelled the bandages as well as pulled off all these bacta patches from his body, revealing all these blaster shots and slashed he received, which were now better visible as they had stopped bleeding.

"Come on let's give him some privacy. We need to talk."

Leia advised Rey and put a hand on her shoulder, motioning her to follow.  
Rey nodded slowly while her eyes were locked on Ben's the whole time since he laid down until he waved his hand a bit and mumbled:

"Go. I'm good."

This was the approval she needed as she wasn't sure if it was okay to leave him alone already, so she darted forward and kissed his forehead as she whispered with a grin:

"I'll come back and you better be breathing normally without any pain then, okay? And...don't bolt!"  
He pulled up his hand to her hair and brushed his fingers through it as he whispered:

"I won't."

She smiled at him and turned around to follow Leia back through the hangar into her office, together with Poe, Finn, Rose and several other generals who already knew what Ben did today. While they walked, Leia hooked her arm around Rey's and beamed at her with so much joy in her voice:

"Rey my love, I can't even tell you how thankful I am for all of this. For bringing him back, for being his light. It is just incredible how calm he is when you two are together. So gentle and so much more like the boy I brought into this world, not the Kylo Ren persona everybody seems to know of him. You did what Han and I couldn't accomplish. Thank you so much."

Leia smiled at her with shining eyes.  
Rey didn't know what to say to this as she didn't feel like she did much. She kind of just fell in love and tried to have him by her side instead of him getting killed or falling into the darkness all alone. In the end, her motivation was utterly egoistic or so she thought. But it didn't matter why she fought for him, why she tried to bring him back. The important part was: he is here- alive - with her, with his mother and for now - safe.

When they reached Leia's office they sat down between the other people as Leia started to explain everything:

"My dear comrades and friends. Huge parts of the First Order fleet were destroyed by the superweapon on Starkiller Base II today. The man you know as Kylo Ren, leader of said Order, obviously now the former leader, whose original name is Ben Solo, son of Han Solo and me, ordered the attack on Coruscant as a distraction tactic for his own man to keep their trust in him as they doubted his leadership since months. Ultimately he used the time the weapon was charging to redirect the attack on to the First Order fleet.  
I did not talk to him about his motives for doing so by now, but of course, we will and he has to justify all his actions in the upcoming days.  
He will stay here on the base with us under the supervision of Rey. Nobody has to fear him, he won't be harming anybody here as he is not interested in being imprisoned or parted from her. You already know they share a special connection and I want this topic to be handled without judgement against him nor Rey.  
Fortunately, he managed to destroy the whole control room on Starkiller Base II before they found out what he did and he told me that the weapon can't charge again before this room is fully repaired, which will grant us several days before they could use it again. Time we should use to go into negotiations with Chandrila and Coruscant.  
He also sent me all plans and blueprints of Starkiller Base II with the note that they overhauled their last weak point and we will work day and night to find another way to destroy it. At the moment I can't say where his alliances lie, but he assured me that he sees the First Order as a great danger, because all other generals who will now take over the command after he betrayed them, consist solely of old hardliners from the former Empire and we all know very well what that means. Probably it's going to be General Hux who will be the next Supreme Leader, which was also the one who fired the first superweapon on Starkiller Base I to obliterate the Hosnian system.  
Ben promised me to give information out as soon as his injuries were taken care off, which happens right now. He agreed to work with us, to which level I don't know yet and I can absolutely assure you his political views and the execution of said differ immensely from mine and ours as the Resistance. Actually not just immensely but we will certainly clash with his behaviour and opinion towards certain topics, but we will work a way out somehow as we at least have a common enemy right now. We will have a meeting tomorrow morning with the whole base as I need to inform everybody about the whole event and talk about further actions. Ben will be invited too to this meeting as I expect him to share internal information as well as help us plan a strategy which is crucial to our decisions these upcoming days."

Rey looked at Leia wide-eyed as she hadn't seen or heard what Ben had shown his mother when he reached out to her on the Falcon minutes ago. But obviously,  
it was mostly business talk and she wondered how their relationship normally was when he was younger as this didn't seem to be a too emotional reunion as she imagined it to be.  
But she didn't say anything and the whole meeting started after Leia's announcement as everybody had questions regarding the safety of the base,  
his actions, how to start negotiations with the other planets and whom to assign to researching the weak point of the base and so on.

Rey wasn't too eager to hear all of this as she would rather be with Ben right now. She slumped back into her chair and thought about everything that had happened these last days. She knew he didn't betray her in the way she first thought, which was a huge relief. But she also knew he was profoundly convinced he will be killed today, in his last act as a Supreme Leader. It was just luck that Rey was at the Mustafar planet division, luck that she saw and felt he was there through their connection, luck that he survived the fight long enough for them to find him and luck that she just learned force healing to some level. But maybe all of this wasn't luck, but destiny somehow. Maybe it was the will of the force.  
If all of this hadn't happened like it did, how shall their shared vision come true someday? Standing together side by side, bringing balance to the galaxy.  
It was their destiny and they will fulfil it. She was sure they will. Now even more than ever.  
After hours of talking, the meeting was finally done and she instantly jumped up and excused herself as she darted over to the medical room again,  
but not before she snatched some apples on her way from the cantina.

It was already evening when she entered the medical room after this lengthy meeting again and found him to be lying on his side in the bed with a blanket draped over half his body as he was surrounded by an IV bag, as well as a blood bag and he seemingly was getting both injected right now.  
The moment Rey entered, his eyes snapped open as if he sensed her and he squeezed his lips together to something which looked like a smirk as he watched her approach.  
When she reached the bed he didn't sit up but scooched over to the side and left some space free next to him. Rey looked at him in bewilderment as she first didn't understand why he did that, but then her face went red suddenly and she kneeled down next to him and whispered:

"You want me to lie next to you? Do I understand this right?"

"Sure. I do."

He answered in a low voice which luckily sounded like he was breathing normally again. She saw his arm lying on top of the blanket and it looked like he didn't wear his sleeveless shirt anymore, but his chest was free and bandaged all over by now.

"Ok. But everybody can see."

Rey grinned nervously and pulled off her boots and jacket as she took the apple and sliced it into several pieces with the knife she brought with her before she crawled into the bed too. Right now she realized that they never laid in a bed next to each other, even if they cuddled and he fell asleep next to her, but never before in a bed and she started getting utterly excited and nervous as this suddenly felt really intimate for her as this was somehow a new step between their relationship.

"Do you care?"

He asked regarding her comment about being seen together, while she already slid down next to him onto the mattress and propped herself up on her elbow with the apple pieces in one hand.

"No. Not at all. But there are people who hate you for different reasons. Who dislike me too since they learned about us. It's just kind of annoying."

Rey answered as she looked around and saw some other rebels in the medical station who were hurt in the attack on Chandrila. Some were sleeping or talking,  
but one of them eyed them both suspiciously and she looked over with a grim face until he looked away.

Suddenly Ben pulled the blanket up over both their heads as he asked with a smirk:

"Better?"

They were now engulfed by the blanket in a dim light which shone from outside into their little 'tent' Ben built with the fabric over their heads and she could feel the warmth he radiated as their bodies were just inches away from each other. She reflexively looked downwards just to realize he was wearing nothing more than his boxers and bandages all over his legs, chest and arms and her face went red instantly as an involuntarily moan left her lips at this sight:

"Mmmhm..."

And her glance went upwards to his eyes again while she was grinning like an idiot.

"Yeah...so much better."

She breathed out and felt excitement run through her veins as she tried not to linger with her eyes on his body for too long. This blanket thing he just did was insanely sweet of him, as well as arousing and intimate and she felt somehow like they had their little protective space right now and there was nothing else anymore apart from them two inside this little makeshift cave which just belonged to them alone at the moment and the universe and everything else could just fuck off for now.

"How do you feel?"

She asked interestedly as she shoved one piece of the apple into her mouth, but also did so to Ben who couldn't answer because his mouth was now full too.  
She didn't ask if he wants to be fed she just shoved it down before he couldn't even protest, but he didn't anyway so he was probably okay with it or not interested in doing anything against it. Somehow she found it exciting to feed him, as her finger brushed his wet lips when she pushed the fruit into his mouth and her eyes lingered on his two crooked teeth, she still found insanely cute, as he bit off one half. He gulped down before he answered in a serious voice:

"Much better. My lungs are free again and I'm getting several transfusions right now. Tomorrow I'd be free to walk around without opening the wounds by my movement, your medic guy said. He's slightly annoying and preachy, but at least competent."

He answered as he took a second piece of the apple from her hand and ate it too and the longer she watched him and was so close, the bigger the urge grew to devour him in an instant. She didn't know where this degree of want came from every time she was close to him. If it was because she had such strong feelings for him, because of their of their bond, or just his extraordinary personality, or the force which radiated all around him which attracted her like a moth to a flame, or maybe a mix of everything together. No other person ever had this kind of effect on her and every time she was together with him, her breathing hitched in her throat as well as her heart started beating faster. Being close to him, not through their force connection but for real was an entirely different level and it felt much more intense then it does when their bond was activated throughout the galaxy. She could fell, smell, see, hear and sense him so much clearer like this,  
as if her senses were dull before when they connected via their force bond. This was making everything even more exciting of course and her body shivered a little from being so fluttered.

She found it somehow funny that they were lying under a blanket munching on apple slices together like children who are telling each other bedtime stories,  
but this just felt so right, she loved it and her heart was making jumps for joy as this was the first time she laid in a bed without feeling alone and abandoned as she always did back then on Jakku, but rather Rey now felt like she belonged somewhere, with someone.

"How's your arm?"

He asked as he brushed two fingers over her upper arm where she was hurt by the vibroweapon of a Deathtrooper. She wore a bacta patch on her injury as she wasn't able to heal it anymore because her energy was too drained from healing his lungs the whole flight.

"Oh, you noticed I was hurt? I didn't think you'd see that mid-fighting. It's not too deep. Will probably become a scar. But I think you won with your injuries today."

She answered with a smile and shoved another apple slice into her mouth more slowly and a little tempting, just to see his reaction as she glanced into his eyes because their look somehow changed and was fixed on hers.

"Good. Do you know what you did today while fighting?"

Ben asked with a low voice as his eyes wandered down to her mouth as she nibbled with quiet smacking noises on the piece of fruit, which made him inhale somehow shakingly, while she pondered about what he meant exactly.

"What do you mean? I did several things."

Rey asked as she shoved the rest of the apple slice in her mouth with one swift motion which made his gaze instantly dart away and back to her eyes.

"When you screamed at these Deathtroopers and they fell over. It was a force scream. A concentrated push of energy through your voice."

He explained and took the last piece from her hand and grinned slightly as if he was planning something.

"Oh, I did? I felt I did something, but I didn't know it was a thing. I just felt so powerful suddenly."

She pondered as she thought back to the moment she did it, because she was extremely angry and frightened the troopers would kill Ben at this very moment.

"Of course you felt powerful..."

He breathed out as he brought the apple slice he just snatched away from her forward and slowly pushed it into her mouth. Suddenly everything between them became wickedly sexual, as he not just pushed the fruit into her mouth, but also his thumb which he slowly glided back and forth on the slippery surface of her tongue to wet it while she suddenly let out a deep, thrilled growl by this gesture as it was somehow blatant what he was imitating with this movement until he brushed it over her open lips to wet them too. While she just stared dreamingly at him and let all these arousing feelings wash over which he was giving her with this wet thumb, he pulled himself forward to bring their bodies so close together their stomachs and legs were touching and she already got a tingling feeling between her thighs from the physical closeness. They were nose to nose now as she gulped the piece of apple down and he mumbled out as he leaned forward and kissed the bridge of her nose:

"...it's a dark side technique.".

She gasped out and pulled her head back suddenly as she cried out:

"What?"

"It is and you learned it on your own."

He explained as his eyes squinted together trying to understand her shocked reaction.

"But I'm not a dark side user!"

She protested with a glance of unbelief.

"No, you are not. You used force healing instantly afterwards. You can use both sides within seconds. Which is most impressive."

He stated as his hand wandered down from her face to her neck, which she craned for him, over to her arm until it reached her hip, under her shirt where he locked her in some kind of embrace as he circled his wet thumb on her lower abdomen just above her waistband which gave her goosebumps and she squeezed her lips together to not moan out loud.

"Is it...good...that I can do that? Isn't it like either dark or light?"

She asked uncertainly as she pushed her knee in response between his legs and twisted it upwards to press it into his groin which let him inhale sharply as he gave her an intense look and a groan left his lips.

"It is if you follow the rules of the Jedi or Sith. If you don't, it doesn't matter at all."

He whispered, shrugged his shoulders and smirked a bit as he massaged her hip under her shirt which made her moan silently. Both went quiet and their eyes searched each other as there was some kind of sudden understanding and realization between them as both could use dark and light sided techniques obviously which was really uncommon for most of the force users who lived before them as they normally decided for either light or dark and became Jedi or Sith's. As their eyes darted back and forth between each other, she suddenly grabbed the back of his neck at the same moment he pushed his hip into her and his head forward to crush his lips on hers as she opened up her mouth instantly and kissed back feverishly. They both tasted like fresh apples and their tongues instantly slipped against each other wantingly as he pressed it deep into her, to which she moaned into his mouth with a sudden want throbbing between her legs. She pulled herself even more forward as she pulled her upper leg out from between his and now pulled it over his hips and straddled him between her as she already felt his bulk pressing against her core. Stars he was so hard already for her, as she was getting so insanely moist for him and she bridged their minds for a moment to let him know exactly that, to which he ripped open his eyes and groaned as he pressed his thumb in the dips of her tighs, nearly pulling her pants down with it.

For a second she thought about if it's good for him to have an erection with all that blood loss while he's getting a transfusion, but as his hand wandered under her shirt up her stomach, her brain kind of decided to not work anymore at all and she pretty much started to dry hump him passionately, gliding her body against his as they were still flicking their tongues against each other without pausing. The moment his palm reached the form of her breasts, she again moaned into him in anticipation a little louder until they heard someone clearing his throat somewhere in the room. It was Kelmar who commented slightly annoyed:

"There are other people in the room too..."

Rey's eyes widened and she stopped kissing Ben instantly as she had already pushed the thought of them not being alone right now back into her mind since they went under that blanket and her face went so hot in an instant she thought she'd melt away any second. He looked at her with a mischievous smirk as he absolutely knew it the whole time and obviously decided to not tell her and let her do whatever her body wanted to. Rey suddenly knew exactly what he was into, answering Poe's question from hours before in her mind right now when she looked at his grinning face and she pulled a grimace at him, trying to look angry.  
In an instant, she pulled the blanket away from her head and her hair looked totally messy as she turned around to Kelmar and pointed at the second apple on the bedside cabinet she brought with her and explained:

"Uhm. Sorry. It's...We ate apples. Apples are really healthy. Like...for if you need to get better after being shot..."

She nearly smacked a hand against her forehead from this stupid comment but didn't as this would be even more stupid right now.

Kelmer just rolled his eyes and mumbled knowingly:

"Uh-Huh..."

And turned around as he was typing things into a holopad without further interest.

"...Stars. This is so embarrassing."

She whispered to Ben as she turned around again and placed herself against his body once more, but tried to get not aroused too much again - which was really hard for her as she already was and he still was too.  
He just grinned at her with a knowing glance and lowered his head slightly.

"Embarrassing or Exciting?"

He whispered back as he kissed her jaw right under her chin which again send shivers down her spine and she had to press her lips together to not moan again.  
Rey pondered for a moment and realized it somehow was also really exciting as she, of course, knew they weren't really alone, but her brain decided to shove that thought away as her arousal took over. What the hell did she get herself into with him by her side? She squeezed her eyes together and a flirtatious grin wandered over her lips as she kissed him and breathed against his mouth:

"Both."

* * *

 **Ben and Rey dry-humping each other under a blanket in a medical facility, as she's wondering if he's losing too much blood in his brain from an erection? Check!**  
 **Getting cockblocked again - not by Luke but by an unnerved doctor who obviously didn't see something like this the first time? Check!**  
 **Ben being into sex in public to show dominance? Canon! It already started a little in the ink chapter when he didn't tell her about her smudgy face,  
fully knowing everybody would see it.**


	22. Chapter 22: Reason

**Give me all the fluff!  
**

* * *

After their heavy making out session, Rey promised herself to not be lured again to go under the blanket with Ben, as she knew they wouldn't hold back next time. So she decided to go to sleep after this extremely long, exhausting day which was filled with way too much anxiety for her taste. Ben must have been even more exhausted and tired after just sleeping on the floor in her arms for four hours yesterday and after all that he's been through these last days, like nearly dying in her arms and being severely wounded.  
First, she pondered about going back to her own room, but her body didn't want to part itself from Ben, the soft mattress, his strong arms around her, or his body heat which was warming her up on several different levels.  
So she just sighed, shuffled closer again and pushed herself upwards a bit, so her head was a little higher than his. He didn't look up at her but laid his head against her chest instead like he did yesterday and closed his eyes as if he was listening to her heartbeat while his arm held her firmly pressed against his body.

Even if he was the one who'd fight until death, who doesn't flinch when he is being injured, who saved and protected Rey on several occasion, when they slept next to each other, the roles suddenly seemed to reverse and she became the protective one, who cradled him like a child while he was finally able to relax in her arms.  
He didn't protest at this position, he even seemed to long for exactly this, having some protective arms around him, which he obviously didn't have for so many years as well as Rey didn't have it too. So he gave her back as much as he could and locked her in his embrace too while he pushed his knee between her legs, so she felt absolutely engulfed by his body.  
 _You are not alone. Neither are you._ Was what they told each other via their force connection back then when Rey was still on Ahch-To. Right now they were finally able to live up to these words like they were meant to be.

They were silent for some time and she closed her eyes, laid her chin on his head and buried her hand in his super soft hair until she felt him nudging her mind and she opened up, somehow starting to like how they communicated like that. She had to learn that too, she noted: _"Did you ever realize our heartbeats adjust to each other after some seconds when we are balanced like this?"_ She heard his voice in her mind and instantly reached out with the force to feel for both of their heartbeats, just to hear them beat in exactly the same rhythm. She raked her fingers through his hair slowly and smiled as she answered in a hushed voice:

"Yes, I realized it when you embraced me the first time."

"Me too."

He answered in a low voice as he nuzzled his head into her chest and she just smiled into his hair while she whispered:

"Sleep well."

to which he responded with a soft squeeze of her hip and an already sleepy:

"Mhmmh.".

After some time they just fell asleep together in the medical room on his bed, totally entwined into each other as her head rested on his while he was pressed against her chest and Rey had never slept so well in her entire life.  
Normally back then on Jakku she would wake up several times, because of reoccurring nightmares, because she was too cold or much too warm, because she laid uncomfortable on her makeshift bed, because the sandstorms were howling loudly, because somebody tried to rob her, because she heard shooting, because she got sand in her mouth, because she didn't eat for days and was hungry, because she couldn't find sleep at all as her thoughts drifted to the day she was abandoned by her parents or because she just felt so incredibly lonely.

This night, next to Ben, was the first time in her whole life she slept through in total peace, feeling just so secure, without any interruptions and it felt like total paradise to her.

* * *

Next morning Ben was the first to wake up as he pulled himself out of Rey's embrace, trying not to wake her, but failed to do so as she woke up anyway.  
First, her eyes widened when she saw him, being a little shocked he'd still be there until she realized this was no more a force connection as it usually was when they saw each other, where he'd vanish any time, but he was still there for real and she just grinned widely and pressed herself closer to him.  
He rubbed his face with one hand, but looked so well rested he was practically glowing from it. Rey wondered if he felt the same as she did when she fell asleep yesterday until he said:

"Yes I did."

as he obviously read her mind.

"Hey, you can't always read my mind just like that!"

She nudged him playfully with a frown but meant it seriously.

"It's hard not to, especially with this bond and you so close."

He answered as he sat up on the side of the bed and stared at her a little remorseful.

"How could it be hard? You can just - not do it? I don't do it either."

She stated and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"You are not as trained in mind reading as I am and maybe your senses aren't that sensitive with it, which would be good for you. I am very much and I practically hear every superficial thought by everybody around me all the time. I have to specifically shut them out to not hear them. I do that practically every waking second which works for me. But shutting your thoughts out with that bond we share is more complex and your thoughts slip into my mind occasionally when I am not focused or too relaxed. So either you'll learn to shield your thoughts better, or you'll have to deal with it."

He explained calmly while he started getting dressed. Rey's eyes widened, as she didn't know before he was so sensitive to the minds of others and she blurted out:

"Stars! Every thought? By everyone? It's hard enough to see their gazes when they don't like you, but hearing their thoughts?  
This would drive me insane!"

He stopped dressing for a moment and stared at her a little amused as he snorted out:

"Do I appear like I am sane?"

Her face went from surprise to a playful grin as she also sat up, pulled him down to a kiss and answered:

"No. Not at all."

Then their heads slowly parted for some inches and he squeezed his eyes together while his lip twitched up as he pushed suddenly into her mind. Flashes of the moment she came out of the shower when he had her pressed against the cupboard in her room, while their minds were bridged - feeling each other's arousal which doubled every bodily response to their touch.  
Then his low voice whispered:

"Sometimes this has it's advantages too..."

Then he pulled away, stood up and put on his boots with his back to her. She instantly missed his warmth and sighed quietly as he stood there.

"I'm going to the fresher. We'll meet later in the situation room. Leia and the generals requested my presence."

He suddenly stated and pulled his lightsaber with a flick of a finger into his hand from the nightstand next to the bed. Is he really taking his weapon with him to the fresher? To be prepared in case someone attacked? She thought. Obviously, he needed to while he stayed within the First Order and she felt sorry for him that he had to.

She looked up at his back as she thought for a second if she'd ask to join him in the fresher as pictures of them both, naked bodies coated in water, hand gliding down from his wet hair to his slick skin as her breasts would be pressed against his chest, surfaced in her mind.

"No you won't...We'll definitely be too late for the meeting."

Then he just turned around and walked out of the room as she still sat on the bed dumbfounded at what he just suggested, realizing he again saw her thoughts. It took some time until she collected herself after imagining things with him in the fresher for much too long so she darted back to her own room, went into her own fresher too and dressed in new clothes.

Afterwards, she sprinted into the cantina and got something to eat on the go for herself and met Finn on the way who was also getting something.

"Finn!"

She yelled out in joy as he was about to pour coffee into a mug but was so startled by her yelling that he flinched and poured some hot liquid next to it,  
over his hand.

"Stars Rey!"

Finn pressed surprised and in pain, while he shook his now burned hand to cool it down. She instantly darted forward and cupped Finn's hand to heal it through the force while he watched her interestedly.

"Sorry - didn't want to startle you."

She apologized with a rueful gaze.

"It's okay, I'm just a little on edge right now. That force healing stuff is amazing after all - you were right!"

He answered as she was already done and pulled up his hand to examine it.

"Why are you on edge?"

She asked with a worried glance and placed her palm on his shoulder.

"What do you think why?"

He pouted as he filled the rest of his cup, without spilling anything this time.

"Because of Ben?"

Rey queried with a huff.

"Yeah, I don't feel safe with him around. As well as I don't feel anybody else to be safe. And I hate to see you both together.  
Every second I think he's going to hurt you. The image of him throwing you into that tree when we fought won't leave my head everytime I see him."

He confessed and poured sugar into his coffee.

"I can absolutely understand this Finn. I can assure you, you are safe, Rose is safe, I am and...yeah I don't know if Poe actually is, he's pressing Ben a lot and I think I am going to choke him soon if Ben doesn't do it before me."

She grinned at the former stormtrooper.

"He still is the darksider you used to know and fear, but he is also Ben and he can be talked to, he reasons and knows who to hurt and why and who not to hurt.  
He has no interest to hurt others if it's not related to self-defence or war itself. Okay, maybe he does when they unnerve him a lot like Poe likes to do, but apart from that, I can promise you that he won't hurt us. To put it into Poe's words: "He's like a puppy when he's around me'."

Finn huffed while he was still pouring sweetener into his coffee, while Rey wondered if he now had more liquid or more sugar in his mug by now.  
He realized her watching him and mumbled out a little embarrassed:

"We never got sugar for our coffee on the First Order ships..."

Rey snorted at that and answered:

"Then go for it!"

Finn grinned and pulled the sugar dispenser to his face, where he poured that sweet stuff right into his mouth while Rey fell into a laughing fit and snorted:

"Me too - me too! Didn't have that stuff on Jakku either!"

Finn laughed too and poured sugar into her open mouth as she was trying to chew it until she spluttered it out as it was too sweet.

"Ok stop! Stop! Timeout!"

She laughed with a full mouth and held her hands up in defence as both of them had sugar crystals all over their faces.  
Finn stopped and they laughed for solid two minutes while they tried to gulp down all the sugar until Rey asked a little more serious again:

"You think you can cope with it? You know, we are still best friends, don't you? I don't want you to feel scared."

He put the sugar dispenser down and embraced her as he mumbled into her shoulder:

"Sure we are. You are my best friend and I just don't like your boyfriend at all, because he's a murdering asshole. But I'll try to accept this somehow, as I told you before. And I believe you, when you tell me, we are not in danger. I mean, Leia wouldn't allow him to walk around freely if she didn't think so too. But I will definitely punch him in his face if he ever does something to hurt you or one of our friends here."

"He is not...I don't know what we are Finn. We didn't talk about it yet. Actually, yesterday was our first day being "together" at the same place without our force connection."

She explained as she thought about it, as it really was their first time being together for real, except for their fight, or when he saved her from drowning. But really 'having time' with him was mostly just the evening and night yesterday, as the hours before they were just fighting together on Mustafar or they were working on him not dying when he was nearly suffocating from his own blood in the Millenium Falcon.

"Yeah, then the people from the medical bay must have been imagining things then."

He snorted and took some bread, while Rey prepared some Porridge for herself.

"The people...Which people? Stars. Finn, what did they tell you?"

Her eyes widened with embarrassment as she thought most of them were asleep when Ben and she were under the blanket.

"They just told, you two were totally making out under a blanket while talking about force stuff until Kelmar interrupted you. Rumors are already spreading around the whole base...I really have to say the gossip here in the Resistance is the worst, we didn't have that back in the First Order. People were much too disciplined for that."

He answered as he pondered about his former deployment.

"Ugh. Stars...How unnerving. Was it like that too for you when you and Rose became a couple?"

Rey asked while she was stirring a spoon in her bowl.

"Yeah, it was. Because I'm a former Stormtrooper. Some thought Rose is betraying the Resistance you know? She punched a few faces for them to shut up.  
Now everybody accepts it and likes me and us together. Because we make the best team! Ever!"

He chuckled out and took a bite of his sandwich.  
Rey laughed out loud and answered:

"SHE punched a few faces for you? Haha, that's sweet. Somehow I can relate to this situation actually. Sounds very alike to mine right now."

"Hmm. Yes if you put it like that, I agree."

He answered with a full mouth and then added:

"Let's go to the situation room, the meeting is going to start soon. He'll be there too, right? I seriously doubt it will go smoothly today."

"Yup. I hope this goes somehow well. I seriously don't know how we'll work together with him on a political level as he has a really different opinion about everything, but let's see."

She grinned and picked up a mug with hot water and a tea as she had the idea of bringing Ben something to drink just so he'd know she thought about him too.

When they reached the situation room it was already crowded with several hundred chattering people and they found Poe and Rose sitting in the front row, waving and motioning them to come over. They did and sat down too as Rey put the still hot porridge on her lap and the mug with tea on the floor.

"Hey there cinnamon roll, I heard you slept very well this night!"

Poe grinned like an idiot at her and she huffed out in annoyance.

"Well, thank you Poe - I did!"

She grimaced at him, not believing how fast rumours are spreading on the base and tried to eat a spoonful of her breakfast but it was still too hot and it burned her tongue. Suddenly she felt Ben's presence entering the room as he walked in next to Leia and several other generals as everybody went absolutely quiet and stared at him in awe, because most of them hadn't seen him since he arrived at the base and everyone wanted to get a look at him. A couple of people gasped and started mumbling in an instant, but Leia shot them a glance and they quieted down suddenly.  
He ignored everyone who stared at him and just headed over to Rey and positioned himself next to her with a wide stance and hands folded behind his back ready to listen, while Leia and the other generals went forward to the big monitor where they usually project presentations about their next missions.

Finn flinched together a little when Ben was so close to the group of friends until Poe said with surprise in his voice:

"Yo! You can walk around just like that? You were nearly dead yesterday. Are you like some kind of superhuman?"

Ben didn't turn around to face him, but answered in a low voice:

"Apparently."

Rey snorted out at their exchange and was happy Ben didn't try to choke him, but she stood up with the tea in her hand and nudged Ben's arm. He glanced sideways down to her and she held the cup in front of him and offered it:

"Here, brought you some tea. I hope you like..." And she read the small sign of the teabag. "...ginger - cinnamon - citrus - herbs...Stars what kind of mix is this? "

She read out surprised with knitted eyebrows.

He stared at her for some seconds and she couldn't read what he thought of her gesture until his lip tucked up slightly on one side and he took the cup in his hand and smelled it as he answered:

"Sounds like bantha fodder, had worse. Thanks anyway."

Finn watched their exchange closely and was somehow surprised that he heard the word "Thanks" leave Kylo Ren's lips but maybe Rey was right about him behaving like a puppy when they were together.  
Several other people were watching them too as it was new to them to not see him swirling around his lightsaber, killing people or shooting down ships and something like an act of taking a cup of tea from Rey seemed like such a normal, human act, it didn't fit into their view of him at all.

Rey smiled at him and started to slurp on her spoon with the porridge as it was still really hot, but nearly okay enough to eat. Ben stood silently next to her and drank his tea as he watched the generals prepare the meeting together in front.  
As Rey was pretty hungry she started slurping even more, because she wanted to eat faster but it was too hot to gulp it all down like she normally would.  
After some time Ben glanced sideways at her and watched her eat until she realized being watched and she stopped for a second with the spoon in front of her mouth until she asked:

"What?"

He turned his head forward again and teased:

"The Resistance certainly lacks discipline regarding their table manners."

"The First Order certainly is a stuck up club of people with too much discipline for their own good."

She retorted jokingly as Ben was the only one who stood in some kind of tense, military position, while everybody else sat down or stood relaxed around while eating or drinking. Then she slurped extra loudly to make a point and just to annoy him for saying this.  
Poe snorted in the background at their conversation and took a loud slurp of his own coffee too now just to annoy him some more.  
The moment Rey wanted to bring her spoon to her mouth again she suddenly felt a pull on her hand which was obviously from the force and the spoon with porridge on top smeared all over her lips and her cheeks instead of landing in her mouth as it should have been if she had been in control. Then the force pull was over as fast as it came and she stared at Ben with all the food across her face in disbelief.

He shifted his weight a little from one foot to another and didn't look back, but she saw him pressing his lips together, hiding a mischievous grin.

"Ben..."

She growled out in a warning matter as she knew he did that right now, but he didn't reply and just took a satisfied sip of his tea instead.  
She snorted at this bold move and hissed:

"You know what?"

Then Rey bolted forward, clutched the back of his neck and pulled his head suddenly forward as she smeared her dirty face all over his mouth and cheeks,  
so he'd be dirty too while he tried to pull away by ducking to the side but she held him steady until she was satisfied with his face.

She parted and let go of him to grin mischievously while he stared at her in bewilderment and instantly brushed his sleeves over his mouth to get the food off.

"YOU absolutely deserved that."

She stated and kept on slurping her porridge again. This was the moment Finn understood what Rey meant when she told him that he'll never hurt her, as he saw Kylo Ren staring at her with a look of confusion, but more so over deep affection and love instead of a killing intent as he'd probably do if anybody else in the galaxy would have done something similiar.


	23. Chapter 23: Two Sides

Pretty much the whole room had seen Rey smear food over Ben's face to rile him up and she grinned satisfied at him while he stepped two steps away from her and glanced forward like nothing happened, with his hands again clasped together behind his back after he put the empty cup of tea on to the floor.  
Then she felt him press into her mind and heard his voice in a low threatening tone:

"Careful Rey. Do something like that one more time and you'll be moaning through the whole room. Smearing a spoonful of food in your face is not the only thing I am able to do without touching you..."

She instantly stopped slurping her porridge and nearly choked on it as she put her spoon back down into the bowl in disbelief. Was he really suggesting what she was thinking he did? One part of her was shocked and awed if he'd really be able to pull off what he just suggested and one small part of her was pretty interested in how it would feel and she suddenly felt flashes of arousal flow through her lower regions. So she rather decided to sit down next to Finn, Rose and Poe as her legs started to feel a little wobbly while she imagined what he just told her. This man will drive her crazy she thought, while she now ate her food quieter as she watched his back with an intense gaze until Finn asked confused while he gestured wildly back and forth between the two:

"What the hell was that?"

"Establishing dominance."

Rey shortly answered so loud Ben must have heard it too. He didn't react, but she could feel his force presence waver a little and again she felt satisfied by his reaction. She didn't know exactly why or when it started for both of them to rile each other up like that, but it was something they shared since some time and it was getting worse as the sexual tension was growing, since they realized they were greatly drawn to each other on multiple levels. She loved this kind of game between them immensely as it broke down his cool facade of the emotionless and menacing guy he seemed to be on the outside and she found out he can be really sarcastic and playful when he wants to, but also gentle at the right moments.

Leia had also seen what Rey and Ben did some seconds ago and she just smiled widely at both of them, obviously very much delighted to see her son like this.  
The generals were ready with their preparation and Leia motioned everybody in the room to shut up while she waved at Ben to come over and stand beside her.  
He steadily walked over and Rey wondered if he somehow would feel exposed in front of the crowd, but if he did he didn't show it as he looked as  
self-confident as always.  
He took a stance next to his mother, again in this tense military posture, both legs apart while his arms were clasped behind his back and he seemed to scan the room without looking at any one particular and she was sure he was forced to stand like this it all these years he was within the First Order, apart from kneeling in front of Snoke too of course.

Leia raised her voice and started to explain to the whole room of rebels:

"Standing next to me, you can see my son. Nearly all of you will know him under the name 'Kylo Ren', which is the name given by his former master Snoke.  
He was forbidden to use his birth name all these years he spent within the First Order, which is now over since Snoke is dead, he is to be called by his real name  
'Ben Solo' again, which is the name he was given by me and by his father. Bless Han Solo."

Rey saw Ben's eyes dart to the floor for a second at the mentioning of his father, but he instantly shifted his weight a little to seem emotionless again and his eyes looked forward once more, as well as the other rebel's stared at him with angry glances. Then she heard Leia continue:

"You are already aware that he helped us once to flee from our last base before the First Order attacked, through the force connection he shares with Rey.  
What you do not know by now is, that it was not Rey who killed the former Supreme Leader Snoke, it was Ben who did, with her help, saving her life when Snoke ordered him to murder her back on the Supremacy."

There were several gasps and open mouths when they heard that change of the story, as everybody thought Rey did it the whole time. She also didn't tell anybody the truth before, except for her friends as she didn't want to endanger Ben with it back then when the news of Snoke's death spread throughout the galaxy. All eyes were on him now again, but as well on her and she pitied him somehow as she would find this utterly unpleasant to be standing in front of this crowd.  
But his face remained as serious and unmoving as it always looked when he was in a tense moment.

"As you all heard yesterday, Ben broadcasted the threat for the destruction of the Coruscant system by another Starkiller Base II, if they won't bow to the First Order.  
You might wonder what happened afterwards as this obviously did not happen. The First Order planned a Coup d'état against him since months and were on the verge to perform it the upcoming days during the occupation. Ben was aware of that and used his internal knowledge and access to the system as Supreme Leader to use the superweapon against their own fleet, destroying approximately two-thirds of their battleships by doing so and as well destroyed the control room, which will give us several days before the base is fully functional again. He also sent us the plans to Starkiller Base II, which we will use to find out another weak point so we can destroy it once more. The threat of obliterating the Coruscant system, as well as the execution of the senators were tools of distraction to give his generals one last bit of trust, so he'd be able to get through with the whole plan in time."

Leia explained and looked around the room into the faces of the shocked and stunned rebels who stood and sat everywhere.  
Suddenly Ben turned his head to Leia and shifted his weight until he commented:

"That's just partly true."

"What? What is partly true?"

Leia asked with a raised eyebrow, looking at her son a little confused.

"The threat of obliterating the Coruscant system was a distraction. The execution of the senators was my order and I stand by that. They were the last filth of the galaxy and it was right to do so."

He answered in a calm voice and looked forward with a straight face again as if Leia just had to accept what he declared. There were lots of gasps and angry chattering again and Rey's eyes widened too as she also thought it was part of his distraction plan and not because he seriously wanted to do it kill these people.

"See! He is still the same!"

Finn growled angrily at her between gritted teeth.

"I beg to differ! It is not right to kill politicians, just because you don't like their style of governing the galaxy. This is why we have a democracy,  
why we hold general elections every other year or why we have actual laws and rules!"

Leia suddenly snapped at him with an angry face, as she too was obviously upset at what he just said.

"I couldn't care less about that. They were murderers, thieves, smugglers, slave traders, drug traffickers, child molesters and every action of them is destabilizing the order of our galaxy. These were no small fishes, they were the embodiment, the very soul of human greed. They did not deserve a seat in the galactic senate supporting their own businesses with the power they held through their position, as well as they did not deserve to draw a single breath anymore. Their reign of terror and chaos was brought to an end by their deaths."

He declared with sudden anger flaring up in his eyes as he turned around to face his mother again.

Leia just opened her mouth to say something, but before she was able to do so, was interrupted by a young man who was sitting on a chair and pointed with his index finger at Ben to accuse him angrily:

"You dare to fucking say they are murderers? What are you then? You ordered bombings, you let them built a second Starkiller Base, you were the damn leader of the fucking First Order! You could have stopped it all! Instead of doing so, you executed half of the Senate! The war raged on! You are fucking insane!  
And I can't believe you are allowed to stay here!"

Ben's eyes grew dark suddenly and he dipped his head down a bit while he stared at the young man who yelled at him with an intense gaze. The whole room was silent in an instant and the air felt so thick Rey thought she could practically slice it and she readied herself to intercept in case of Ben flipping out and choking the guy. She wasn't so sure anymore if he'd break his promise of not hurting anyone when he loses his temper right now.

Eventually Ben ordered in a threatening, slightly pissed voice:

"Stand the fuck up and come here."

"No."

The man answered boldly and folded his hands in front of his chest, but before he could do anything else, Ben already reached out his hand and force pulled him to his feet and let him slide over the floor until he suddenly stood in front of Ben.  
Rey instantly jumped up and was about to yell at him, as well as others did until he let go of the man and calmly said:

"I am not gonna harm you. But I'll make you understand."

The guy stood just inches away from him now and seemed to be nervous suddenly, being so close to the darksided force user as he huffed out and answered:

"Have fun trying. It won't change that you are a cold-blooded murderer."

"Ben!"

Leia hissed and walked forward to interrupt him, but the guy shot her a glance and tried to sound cool, as he said:

"I can handle myself. I am not scared by his force."

Leia stepped back a little helplessly while Ben stared deeply into the eyes of the man in front of him and Rey knew he was prying into his mind, reading his thoughts.  
Nobody dared to interrupt them as it was obvious the two men wanted to talk this out with each other.  
Suddenly Ben asked in a nearly calm voice:

"Why did you join the Resistance?"

"Because I heard of you persuading Luke Skywalker to kill him."

The man hissed back and it was obvious he was aggressive and about to flip out any second as he looked like he would punch Ben into his face any second.

"Why else?" Ben asked again and cocked his head to the side slightly.

"Because I couldn't stand to watch the First Order conquering the galaxy, killing thousands of people under your and before then under Snoke's command."

"Yes, we did. People were killed. What do you think happens when you are in the middle of a war? The very essence of war is taking the right to kill other people without their consent. The Resistance does this as well as the First Order does."

Ben explained even calmer, but with a dark gaze lingering on the man's face who stared back in anger.

"The Resistance does not kill people, we just fight against the First Order to protect the galaxy."

The man answered with certainty in his voice.  
Ben took a step forward and was now nearly nose to nose with him as the man started to grunt slightly in distraught while Ben pressed further into his mind.

"Ah...you took part in the mission to destroy the first Starkiller Base. Didn't you?" Ben asked while he huffed slightly.

"Yes, and I am proud we did it." The man stated with a stubborn glance.

"Starkiller Base was home to the largest deployment of Stormtroopers as well as generals of the First Order. The body count is 5.800.000 human casualties after it's destruction. 110.000 of them were higher ranked classes than Stormtroopers, which meant, they resided in monthly turns on the planet before they went back to their families. All of them are dead now, their wives and husbands widowed, as well as their children orphaned. Families destroyed. I see you also helped to plan out the bombardment of the dreadnought, as well as cherish the destruction of the Supremacy. Body count for the destruction of both ships counts up to 2.500.000.  
Tell me again how the Resistance does not kill people after 8.300.000 humans were burned alive or died by suffocating in space after your actions over these last months."

Ben exclaimed in one monotone sneer while he stared the man down.  
The rebel backed off with a shocked glance, first at Ben, then at Leia, who looked away with some kind of shame written in her face which pretty much confirmed what Ben just said.

"You still did not truthfully answer my question regarding your dedication to the Resistance. Why did you join?"

Ben pressed him and closed the distance between them both again as he loomed over the man. He didn't answer but just looked with widened eyes at him,  
seemingly getting smaller every second.

"Tell me." Ben nodded down at him with a suddenly calm, deep voice again.

As he still didn't answer, Ben cocked his head again and was obviously prying into his mind once more. Suddenly he hissed:

"You joined because your whole family was murdered in an attack of Rathar's on your village and you had nothing more to lose than your own life.  
Am I fucking right about that?" Suddenly the man became ashen-faced and again he backed off two more steps from Ben as he stuttered in disbelief:

"...Yes...yes."

"Why were the Rathar's on your planet?" Ben nearly yelled at him as he was nearing the point he was about to make.

"They...escaped a ship from..." The intimidated man stammered but was interrupted as Ben finished his sentence.

"...Mardie Latdou! A famous smuggler throughout the Outer Rim territories. They were to be brought to Senator Cladanc, collector of said species,  
who resided on your planet. Which he all financed through government funds."

Suddenly Rey and Finn gazes crossed knowingly as they stared at each other, remembering that Han was smuggling Rathar's just before they met him on the Millenium Falcon from where they barely made it out alive as they were chased by said deadly monsters.  
Rey wondered if Ben, apart from regretting killing his father, also hated him for being a smuggler. Because obviously, things went wrong all the time which will often cost innocent lives.

"Senator Cladanc? I...I knew he collected several species, but I...stars...are you serious?"

The man now nearly sobbed in shock when he started to realize what Ben was trying to explain to him.

"Yes, I am fucking serious. I saw all the contracts he had throughout the galaxy with different smugglers. Before I sliced his fucking head off with joy during the execution. He offered me Twi'lek children as payment to walk free. Tell me: Who is insane now?"

The man gasped in shock and disgust and suddenly started to weep as he held his hand in front of his mouth:

"The...the Twi'lek children? He...had an orphanage...mostly for Twi'leks. We...maker...we thought him to be so gracious."

"He was filth. As everybody else of these senators who were executed. He was one of the lighter cases actually. They deserved nothing less than death.  
It was gracious to give him such a fast ending."

Ben snorted with disgust in his voice.

The whole room was so silent, some could hear a pin drop on the floor after this tense conversation as everybody was in shock and right now pondering about what they'd think about the information they just received.

Ben started to talk again, but now it was more to the people in the room, rather to the guy standing in front of him:

"I do not deny being a murderer as well as I do not deny guiding the First Order on a course to wipe the dirt of human greed from the face of the galaxy.  
But I do despise people who tell me they are not guilty. Who join a war, thinking they do not as well have the blood of millions on their hands. Every single one in this room is a murderer. Everyone has blood on their hands and has taken part in mass murder, as well as tried to protect corrupt politicians who are responsible for the chaos and suffering brought into the outer Regions which is slowly spreading like venom to the other parts of the galaxy.  
Starkiller Base II was already constructed before I became Leader of the First Order. I used this available resource of power to destroy parts of the greater threat the galaxy will now be facing after I was forced to give up my leadership. Which will now fall into the hands of General Hux and all these other Hardliners from the former Empire. I can assure you they will not just remain to 'child's play' as my leadership was called by them, like executing some fucked up politicians.  
They will obliterate, raid and destroy planets. They will torture and kill everybody who is in any way supporting or relating to the Resistance.  
They will slaughter you and your families the moment they get the hands on any of you. Mark my words as the moment will come soon where you'll see the true face of the First Order and their plans they wield for the galaxy. They are planning for a totalitarian, unified state and we have mere days or weeks before it will completely unfold."

* * *

 **Badummtss! Man, that was a speech.  
Yes Rey, Ben seriously meant force-fucking. He can do that, why do you think he offered to be your teacher?**


	24. Chapter 24: Agree

"Stars! This was the most depressing pep talk I ever heard in my whole life!"

Poe suddenly remarked loudly and brought his palms up in disbelief as all heads turned into his direction.

"Well, thank you."

Ben hissed back sarcastically and folded his arms in front of his chest while he stared at Poe with knitted brows.

"This was not supposed to be a compliment." Poe snorted out and also crossed his arms in front of him as he leaned back in his seat.

"I know." Ben retorted as he squeezed his eyes together and stared at the pilot.

"You still hate me." Poe stated with a wide grin and waved at the man in front.

"Yes." Ben growled, but had a slight smirk on his lips, obviously having some sort of fun arguing with Poe.

The man who got 'the talk' from Ben scooted visibly shaken back to his chair and sat down while Leia stepped in front and clarified:

"Ben I am well aware that we have massive differences in our political views and especially the execution of such. Thank you for explaining your position and your goals you inherited in the First Order. I and the Resistance do not agree with what you did, there would have been other ways to punish these senators, but it doesn't make any sense to argue about this right now. Despite everything - you are right, we also kill people and we are _never_ allowed to forget or deny that. Every single one who does take part in this war has to be aware of the results of their actions, believing their own agenda is the right one. We do not differ so much from each other, we both want to have peace in the galaxy but the journey to reach that goal couldn't be any more different."

Ben listened closely and eventually responded with a serious voice while he stared at his mother with a somewhat warming look:

"We will never have the same views about handling the order in the galaxy. When the time comes, we will stand on opposing sides again.  
But for now, we can agree on not agreeing with our views, as well as agree on having a common enemy who needs to be stopped at all costs,  
as the body count of innocents will go up in huge numbers if we do not take action right now."

Rey gasped as she heard Ben practically saying he will keep on fighting the Resistance after agreeing to aid them against the First Order and she did not like it at all, as this meant everything she had right now with Ben would be at stake again afterwards if they even manage to survive the war together.  
But Leia was obviously aware of that before, as she didn't seem to be too shocked about it as she just stated drily:

"Let's agree on that for now and get to work on how to stop the First Order emerge to absolute power over the galaxy. As if we don't there won't be any of us left to fuss about politics. We are glad you agree to aid us for the time being."

Ben looked at her as if he didn't know what to do about that kind of acknowledgement he received by his mother, so he just shrugged his shoulders slightly and folded his arms behind his back again. Another general now took the word, who watched the whole conversation take place with a gaping mouth as well as most of the rebels didn't know how Ben's presence would affect their whole work. Obviously, the general was shocked by the things Ben said but simultaneously relieved as it wasn't as hard as he believed talking to the former Supreme Leader would be.  
Also, nobody got force choked or killed by now, which was probably a good sign too.

"General Organa told us, you agreed to share internal information about the First Order. What superweapons do they possess except Starkiller Base II?  
As well as how many ships and how many personnel do they deploy and what is your evaluation on what they are going to do these upcoming days?  
You said they will show their true face. I suppose you know what their original plans were before you took over the leadership and changed everything."

Ben nodded at the man and answered with some kind of obedient voice as if he was giving a situation report:

"The First Order is in possession of 4 super laser siege cannons as well as 12 electro-proton bombs.  
The total number of battleships before the destruction came up to 106 ships. The number of TIE-fighters were about 6.800.000. Stormtroopers excluding the generals and commanders came up to 24.600.000."

Gasping and murmuring went through the crowd as nobody believed the First Order to be that unbelievably huge.  
The general who asked started choking in shock as he had to lean against the table in front of him with one hand while he stammered:

"This...this is unbelievable."

"No, it is not. The Resistance, as well as the New Republic, underestimated the First Order for decades. They plotted their revenge for 30 years.  
Your lack of knowledge about your enemy as well as about your missions targets is disturbing and might as well some day be your downfall."

The general huffed in annoyance at Ben's insult to the Resistance lack of information but instantly tried to calmly keep the questioning on while his gaze darted to Leia for a second, who shrugged her shoulders at Ben's words as if she didn't care that he just said what he did.

"How much of it was destroyed when you obliterated their fleet?" The man questioned as sweat pearls started to appear on his forehead.

"I was able to order 78 Stardestroyers and Dreadnoughts to Mustafar. The moment the superweapon fired, the control room was already attacked by Deathtrooper squadrons and my betrayal was revealed. So several ships jumped into hyperspace before the laser beam reached them. I wasn't able to see it clearly as I was obviously occupied at the moment, but most of the fleet was hit as I perceived it. But I can't name a number." Ben explained.

Suddenly Rey commented: "We saw it. There were 5 or 6 ships who were able to jump to hyperspace. The rest was completely destroyed."

"So the First Order has approximately about 34 ships left? We can assume that at least. That is as much as we thought to have them all together actually..."  
Leia admitted with a sigh as she rubbed her forehead, obviously stressed out by these huge numbers for which she wasn't prepared.

"What were their plans before you became the Supreme Leader? Obviously, you changed their course for the time being." The general asked again.

"Total control and equalization of the government throughout the whole galaxy. Their plan was to kill or imprison every senator of the Coruscant as well the Chandrila system and replace them with their own men who'd stay on Stardestroyers while the planets are being occupied, effectively taking over the New Republic by doing so. The head of the police forces in every system would also be replaced by First Order officers and be militarized as well as the surveillance on planets will be increased dramatically to ensure total control. Every act of rebellion or the mere spoken thought of not acting conformably to the new oppressional state of the First Order government will be punished by execution or offenders brought to labour camps. Planets who are considered unruly would be obliterated by Starkiller Base II."

Then Ben looked at Rey for a moment, before he continued:  
"Also the hunting down of every force using person in the galaxy until their total annihilation, as they are seen as a threat and bringers of chaos.  
Giving them the option to join the dark side or be executed. This idea is, of course, obsolete since Snoke's death. So the latter one is what they are going with.  
To be summarized: An absolutely perfect plan to bring total control and obedience in a short amount of time to the whole galaxy - if you do not care about freedom for civilians at all." Ben explained with a twitch of his mouth in disgust as he finished his sentence.

The whole room went silent in shock once again, as Rose whispered to her friends: "Stars...I think I need to puke..."

Poe nodded and answered: "No shit...I thought Kylo Ren...Ben whatever he calls himself right now was a fucked up guy. But this is above all expectations actually.  
His leadership sounds like a damn pony farm in comparison to what's lying ahead of us."

"Told you all so." Rey replied a little snippy at the pilot while she crossed her arms in front of the chest.

The generals continued questioning Ben for further details, while everybody listened interestedly to their conversation as well as other rebels started to throw in their ideas or even asked him several things directly without any fear. Often the dialogue proved to be difficult as most rebels talked accusingly to Ben, whilst he talked sarcastically or in a degrading way with them as it was obvious there were several different viewpoints represented and it was hard for everyone to accept being on the same side now.  
Often enough Rey found herself agreeing with Ben's views from a certain point, at least when some would have a mindset of: 'Fuck the laws - Fuck the system - Fuck the old ways of living and create something new.' Which was pretty much what he already told her when he wanted her to join. Let the past die and create a new order was exactly what he wanted. Which contradicted with what the Resistance wanted, but somehow they managed to come to an agreement on how radical the First Order has to be taken care of right now.

After hours of discussing their current situation, Leia finally declared the meeting to be closed for this day and everybody was dismissed. Ben went back to Rey and her friends and wordlessly sat straddle-legged beside her, his thighs touching hers, as he huffed out and ran his fingers through his hair in annoyance while his elbow rested on his knee until he suddenly growled out:

"Stars I hate meetings. Had enough of this bantha shit within the First Order."

"But I bet Hux and the others were much more demanding than our generals!"

Rey laughed as she put her palm on his other knee because, after hours of watching him stand in front of the crowd, talking, explaining himself and the upcoming actions of the First Order, she had the feeling she needed to be close to him as well as he seemed to be searching for her contact too. His eyes darted to hers as he supported his head in his palm and answered with knitted eyebrows:

"Depends. Mostly they were scared shitless that I'll choke them if they wouldn't follow my command. Which I often enough did. Mostly Hux actually. They just said yes to everything and planned their revenge silently. Made meetings quiet easier for me. Less discussion, more action was the result at least."

Then he pulled his other gloved hand upwards too and brushed it over Rey's on his knee until he entwined his fingers with hers, as his brown eyes started to get lost in hers. She too stared back at him a little dreamy as her thumb started to brush the side of his hands and her heart fluttered from his gaze and this overwhelmingly nice feeling to be so close to him again after all these hours. There was nothing she wanted to do more, then scoot over to him right now and bury herself deep in his arms, but as there were so many people around them still and they were in the middle of talking, as well as she didn't know if he was okay with cuddling in public, she just grinned at him with a loving glance, while their fingers were interlocked. At least they were publicly holding hands right now which was somehow really sweet, she thought. For the mighty Kylo Ren, heir of Darth Vader, former Supreme Leader to be holding hands in front of everybody with a nobody, a scavenger girl like her. Then she suddenly heard his voice in her head: _"You are not just a scavenger girl Rey. You are much fucking more than that."_ Then he even grinned back at her a little while his head was cocked sideways and still rested on his palm.

"But here you can't just choke anybody who doesn't act as you like."

Finn suddenly announced as he looked at him with a reproachful glance. Ben took some seconds before he took his eyes off Rey's as they wandered over to the former Stormtrooper.

"I can, but I decide not to FN-2187..."

Ben plainly stated a little annoyed but suddenly Rose interrupted him.

"No! He is called Finn. Please don't call him like that anymore. He's not just a number anymore."

Ben turned his head a little around now to the talking girl, he didn't know yet until he answered:

"You are the one who Hux and Phasma planned to behead together with FN...Finn for trying to disable the tracker, aren't you?"

Rose pulled her chin up a little and answered with anger in her voice:

"Yes. I am. And we nearly did it, if we hadn't been betrayed by this slicer DJ."

Ben snorted suddenly and asked: "Did you even know what his abbreviation stands for?"

"Uhm...No. I guess his first and last name?" Rose asked with raised eyebrows while Finn shrugged his shoulders also not knowing it.

"Short for 'Don't join'. A nickname, given within the First Order ranks as he mostly betrayed us, or others to earn money. But in the end, brought good results so the First Order kept on working with him from time to time."

Ben explained as his hand wandered up to Rey's arm which he brushed absent-mindedly while Finn closely watched him as if he would hurt Rey any second.

"No shit! You two were punked by a guy who is called 'Don't join'? Seriously? This is remotely funny!"

Poe laughed and put a hand on Finn's shoulder who frowned now by this new information.

"Nah it's not! We nearly died there!" Finn growled and huffed out in annoyance. Then he turned around to Ben and asked with a serious voice:

"Is Captain Phasma dead?"

"Silverbucket melted in the fire."

Ben answered as he rubbed the scar on his face and Rey wondered if this was some kind of habit or if it was still healing which could sting sometimes.

"Silverbucket? How'd you know my crew secretly called her like that?"

Finn asked with surprise in his voice and widened eyes.  
Instead of Ben, Rey answered drily:

"He can hear the thoughts of everyone." And squeezed his knee a little while she smiled at Ben who frowned in response.

"What? So you heard all the thoughts of every trooper and general? Is this why you stared at me like that back on Jakku? Because you heard my thoughts?"  
Finn asked with a sudden interest but also anger when he thought back at that event.

"Yes." Ben affirmed plainly without further explanation.

"So you knew I'd flee?"  
Finn asked a little perplexed and Rey was amazed that these two men are actually talking to each other without a killing intent present.

"No. I didn't. I felt you were emotionally weak at this moment." Ben answered with a sneer.

"Which is the best thing that could have happened. Being emotional and feeling compassion is not a weakness. Every single one of us would be dead by now if there wouldn't have been somebody else who cared for the other one and at some point save them because they felt it was the right thing to do...Actually...wait...except for...Poe. Poe, you always have such luck! This is not normal!"

Rey explained and turned around to Poe while she stared at him with raised hands as if she would be accusing him of not needing any help.

"Sorry Cinnamon Roll. Nobody needs to save my really fine ass. I'm good enough on my own." He grinned widely at her and gestured a thumbs up.

"Cinnamon Roll...?"

Ben snorted and looked back and forth between Rey and Poe and she didn't know if he was jealous right now that the pilot has a nickname for her or just interested what it meant.

"It's her hair. It looks like cinnamon rolls when she's wearing it like that." Rose explained to him and he stared at her for some seconds, then to Rey's hair.

"Stars...people not this again!" Rey exclaimed annoyed while she tried to hide her hair with both hands on the back of her head.

Ben leaned back a little to look at her hair, while he pulled her hands down slowly with his fingers so she wouldn't hide the triple buns anymore.

"It's a practical hairstyle, so it would not get in my face while I am scavenging or fighting. And it's good, for when it's really hot, so the strands of hair wouldn't stick to my skin and..."

She started to explain herself while Ben's hand wandered to the back of her neck, where he drew small reassuring circles with his thumb on her skin as he finished what she initially wanted to say next:

"...and you nearly died once because your hair got caught in a moving machine part while you were scavenging and you had to rip it out to not get crushed."

Rey's head suddenly swirled around to look at Ben with wide eyes:

"...Yeah. That's...you saw that I was thinking about it right now didn't you Ben?"

"No, I saw it on Takodana already."

He answered as his warm hand wandered down her back, where he let it stay, as she leaned a bit into him and wondered what else he already knew about her since they met.

"Man I'm sorry Rey. I didn't know that. Shall I stop calling you like that?" Poe apologized suddenly with a guilty look.

"No. I kind of like the name - even if I don't think they look like cinnamon rolls at all. But then - I never really saw or ate some, maybe it'll change my mind when I do."

She grinned at the pilot and then turned around to Ben and asked: "Ben do you also think they look like cinnamon rolls?"

He took some time before answering as he looked at Rey for some seconds until he plainly stated: "Yes, and I am firmly convinced you would love cinnamon rolls."

Rey grinned at Ben as he already knew she loved food, especially if it's sweet stuff so his evaluation about her taste was probably exactly right as it was with the liquor he handed her via their force connection on her birthday.

"Then! Cinnamon roll it still is!"

Rose exclaimed and gestured as if she would bang a glass on an invisible table like she did the last time when they were celebrating Rey's birthday at the bar.  
Every one of her friends seemed to be somehow okay with Ben sitting with them, even Finn wasn't so tense anymore and all of them were able to have some kind of conversation which each other which made Rey glow with happiness from the inside. She didn't know before that it would be so important to her for everyone to get along like that but right now she realized that it was immensely important for her that she didn't have to decide between Ben or her friends if she wanted to spend some time with each.  
Rose seemed to be the most open one towards Ben, as well as he too seemed to not have any problem with her. If it was because she was a girl, or simply because she didn't have some underlying aggressions towards him like mostly Finn and sometimes jokingly Poe had, she didn't know. But she liked their interaction and was just happy that it worked somehow out like this.  
As they were still talking about nicknames, Rose told Ben with which nicknames for General Hux they came up with at that day and he snorted at some point and advised to try 'carrot' next time as this would rile him up at most for some reason.

Suddenly a rebel ran excitedly into the situation room, where they still sat with several others who too didn't leave by now and yelled:

"The First Order is sending a broadcast throughout the whole galaxy right now, turn on the monitor!"

Somebody in the front activated the big monitor and all their attention was on the screen right now as other rebels and also Leia and some generals flocked into the room again to watch too. Rey and Ben also turned their heads to the monitor, while she could feel him becoming tense a little, so she put her hand on his thigh to reassure him somehow.

General Hux face appeared. He had a hate-filled glance directly into the camera as he started his speech, but not before Poe commented sarcastically:

"Oh look - it's General Sucks!"

 _"This is the new Supreme Leader of the First Order. Supreme Leader Armitage Hux. Yesterday we experienced the worst kind of betrayal throughout the history of our Order._ _The force user - known as Kylo Ren - who took the position as Supreme Leader himself, after our much appraised former Leader Snoke was murdered - decided to use our superweapon Starkiller Base II against our own fleet. He is solely responsible for the death of 14.600.000 human souls on our ships."_

There was quiet chattering going through the room as well as Rey grabbed Ben's hand and squeezed it lightly when she heard this huge number of casualties.

 _"The whole First Order stood behind his leadership and trusted him completely until we had to learn the hard way that he plotted our obliteration with the help of the Resistance terrorist General Organa and another force user for a long time already. After throughout research of his records, we even discovered him to be the son of said General Organa and the famous smuggler Han Solo. His true identity is Ben Solo and he joined the First Order years ago with the sole goal to infiltrate and destroy us from the inside."  
_  
Hux bellowed out as his head became slightly red.

"Which is soooo not fucking true. I practically had to drag you out of the First Order!"  
Rey huffed in annoyance at Ben, who just shrugged his shoulders and kept on watching.

 _"We were able to retrieve video material from the day he killed our former leader in cold blood, with the help of a Resistance force user, who also helped him with firing the weapon against our fleet._ " The general continued with a disgusted face.

"What? There never was surveillance in Snoke's throne room! He forbid it!"  
Ben hissed out silently, suddenly really tense under Rey's hand while she gasped in shock and yelled angrily:

"What? I didn't help you fire the weapon! What a fucking liar!".

While Poe let out a disgruntled noise, obviously also pissed at what Hux just said. Then the picture changed from Hux face to the red throne room Rey remembered so well as if it happened just minutes ago. Ben shuffled next to her, into a straighter sitting position while he stared at the monitor in shock as this was a really tense and horrifying situation for Rey and him back then.  
It showed Rey in front of Snoke as she said:

"You underestimate Skywalker and Ben Solo and me. It will be your downfall!"

Then it jumped to Ben who looked forward with his lightsaber in hand: "I know what I have to do."

"This did not happen immediately afterwards! This is so wrong!" Rey yelled out to her friends in despair, nearly jumping up from the bench, while Finn patted her shoulder, so she would calm down a little. Then there were scenes of Ben and Rey killing off the Praetorian guards one by one while there were several:

"Shiiiit! - What the? - Stars you can do that? - Oh, my! - Maker!"

Comments and gasps throughout the rebels who saw these cruel fighting scenes and the glances again wandered over to both force users in the room, while the video of them fighting for their lives continued but it looked like they attacked first and the whole part about why they were fighting against the guards was of course missing.

Rey saw Ben's face distort with anger as they watched the scenes as well as she felt her blood boiling too as everything was in a different chronological order apart from how it really happened and it was of course not shown that Snoke tortured her before as well and ordered Ben to kill her.  
After the fight was shown, the next scene was how Ben flicked Rey's lightsaber through Snoke's abdomen and she got a hold of it in midair as she looked at him.  
Right afterwards Ben's voice was to be heard again, as he said to her:

 _"It's time to let old things die. Snoke...Skywalker...The Sith...The Jedi...Rey...We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy."  
_  
Rey's eyes widened at hearing his words again now in a totally different context, cut together from different scenes and with missing parts of his sentence, like killing off the Resistance too, it sounded like they both planned this out all along and were ruthlessly killing off Snoke and his guards to gain control over the First Order.

After the throne room, they showed them both fighting together on Mustafar against the Deathtroopers while the Millenium Falcon helped them as Hux voice in the background blatantly lied that they both allegedly started to attack and overwhelm the Stormtroopers so they'd be able to fire the superweapon in which they succeeded. General Hux face was to be seen again as he yelled:  
 _  
"The First Order will not accept these actions by two terrorists bringing chaos to our galaxy!_  
 _They are rogue force users who are not reluctant to kill millions to reach their goal to let the Resistance take over and bring total anarchy._  
 _We as the First Order want to ensure safety and protect our citizens against such menacing forces. Therefore the First Order will put out a bounty on the head of Kylo Ren, originally named Ben Solo of 25.000.000, on Rey of Jakku of 20.000.000 and General Leia Organa of the Resistance of 15.000.000 credits._  
 _Every bounty hunter, citizen, military and police forces are to be called upon the hunting down of said war criminals and we will double the price for each who is brought alive to our fleet. You can find more data about every person via the holonet. Hints regarding their recent location or their last contacts will also be generously rewarded. We are looking forward to see results very soon._ _End of broadcast!"_


	25. Chapter 25: Calm

After the broadcast was finished, Rey's trembling hand absent-mindedly found Ben's, as anger and fear boiled up inside her, while she could simultaneously feel his hatred radiating in waves through the force too. He was as well as she, not angry that the First Order was using them as propaganda against the Resistance,  
he probably even expected them to do so - after being surprisingly still alive since Rey and Poe saved him - but more so over they were greatly offended that the First Order was suddenly using this insanely important and intimate moment Ben and she shared back then in the throne room - against them. The moment they found balance together for at least the time they fought for survival, as well as Ben being able to finally free himself from his oppressor and save her life too. The moment she nearly decided to join him, to take his hand, the moment she felt his churning emotions for her the first time.

How dare the First Order to say Ben worked together with the Resistance for years? He still doesn't agree with most of their goals, killed his father and hunted them down before, because they were in the way of his own agenda. He never was on their side, let alone agreed with anything they did. They merely formed an alliance of convenience right now to fight against the greater evil which showed it's true face after Ben parted the ways with the Order and was forced to give up his leadership.  
How dare they weight the numbers of casualties he is responsible for, against the ones the First Order would have caused by the destruction of the Coruscant system? As if they were better somehow? As well as the numbers they already caused by the obliteration of the Hosnian system which counted up to billions and billions of people already. Their body count was much higher already and they started it all, Ben was merely reacting to what they were planning to do to prevent even further damage and death.  
How dare they say Rey helped him fire the weapon? She didn't even know if she would have had the guts to do it, would she have known his plans before.  
Probably not - as she couldn't bear the guilt of killing so many people, which he obviously was able to do as well as carry the heavy burden with him.  
How dare they call them terrorists, whilst it's the First Order itself who is terrorizing the whole galaxy with their superweapons, threatening and killing billions of people?  
How dare the First Order use these scenes against them like this, when Rey and Ben were the ones who were tortured and threatened and in great danger to be killed?  
How dare they say to have been standing loyally behind his leadership, whilst there were several assassination attempts in his own ranks on his life for the time he was their leader?

As all these bitter thoughts went through her head, she suddenly realized Ben's and her mind were somehow spiralling downwards together in a pool of hatred and anger, which was exactly not something she wanted to dwell in as this was somehow Ben's profession and not hers. So she closed her eyes and focused on herself,  
on him, the force, balance, life, hope, her friends and calmed her breathing down as her hate and anger slowly vanished and became peaceful again.  
Ben turned his head around and stared at her totally mesmerized as he felt what she was doing through their bond and he too calmed down just by watching her and feeling her force flow in steady waves through him. Rey knew she could somehow calm his mind through their bond too, at least she did so when he was panicking while he was on the verge to suffocate yesterday. But they were surprised at what was happening between them both right now as Ben surely would have lashed out instead and be overcome by anger after the broadcast. But he didn't because she was bringing balance and peace to both of them, which he wasn't able to do on his own yet.

With a knowing smile at him, while he stared at her in disbelief, she suddenly stood up and proclaimed through the whole room of rebels:

"We won't let them get us down like that! The moment people will understand who their real oppressor is will also be the moment the First Order will get to know the true power of collective revolts throughout the galaxy. We will fight them together! They do not just underestimate us, they underestimate the power of all the people combined who have the guts to fight for their freedom! The moment the civilians realize they are not alone in this war will be the moment rebels will emerge all over the galaxy!  
We will bring back peace and balance to the universe! As the darkness grows, there will be light to meet it! It already showed the people's will to revolt on Coruscant as civilians started to attack the fleet of battleships in defence of their planet, while the government remained idle and did nothing to protect them. The war against the First Order has just begun and we will get enough support to win! They can triple the bounty for all I care, but they will never be able to take away our will to fight for our freedom!"

Everybody's eyes were on Rey until Leia started to slowly clap and grin at her as several other people joined in and some cheered while Poe leaned forward and gloated at Ben:

" _That's_ how you do a pep talk!"

Ben huffed in response and glared at Poe as he retorted with a low voice:

"My speech was not supposed to be a motivating one."

Everyone was cheering or making fun of the threat General Hux just broadcasted, as well as talking about the fight in the throne room they just witnessed on screen, because most of them never saw force users fight as they were non-existent anymore, except for Rey and Ben of course. Their attention and glances luckily started to leave the couple again and they went on to other topics.

Rey sat down next to Ben again and leaned forward to look directly at him and search his eyes, as she grinned and coaxed:

"We're going to do this - together this time! The First Order will be so fucked when we join our forces Ben!"

He stared at her for some seconds with a certain look, she couldn't really decipher until she saw his eyes wander down to her lips and she didn't have to push into his mind to know what he was thinking at this moment. Ben dipped his head down slightly as his brown eyes were fixed on her's and he impulsively reached out with one arm, placing his palm behind her neck to pull her head forward as he gave her a sudden, nearly possessive kiss on her already opened lips while she felt his emotions wash over her in such strong waves she had to let out a small moan. Not from arousal but from the intensity of his emotions towards her. They consisted of pure admiration, proudness, understanding, secureness, love and a sudden fighting spirit as well as pictures of the force vision they shared, where they stood side by side fighting which each other, not against. It was his version he had seen, it differed from hers slightly, but it was not apparent who had joined whom, but more so over they were just together like that, without being on a particular side.

She understood the meaning of this kiss, it was his affirmation to what she just said to him, acknowledging the connection they shared, not just as a fun thing they accidentally had together, but more so over as something insanely important to him which will bring them together through anything they will face from now on.  
It felt like he had the sudden realization that he was not fighting all on his own, through the claws of the First Order anymore, or through Snoke, or against Luke,  
but instead had his equal, his bonding partner, his love now by his side, with whom he would be able to face anything.

And she felt exactly the same, as the First Order could pull out as much propaganda bantha shit they wanted to, as well set the bounty on their heads indefinitely high, they would be invincible together, support each other and fight for the freedom of the galaxy and for their own liberty.  
She threw all these emotions he was pouring into her back with the same intensity and instead of spiralling down with aggressive thoughts as they just had minutes before, they were pushing each other with warmth and trust now while Rey suddenly felt a massive amount of power burst through her body and she thought she could conquer everything right now. Now it was Ben who made a small noise against her lips who must have felt the power flash through him at this very moment as strong as she just had.  
Rey had her arms already entangled around his torso and kissed him back with a whole load of affection until they heard Poe and Finn yell at them:

"Whoa whoa stop it you two - what the hell is this?"

Ben groaned in annoyance and both pulled their lips apart as they turned their heads around to the two men who suddenly stood, instead of sitting as they did before and several of their things as well as some chairs were spread around them on the ground, as if they were thrown there. Rey's eyes widened and she asked perplexed:

"What was that? What happened?"

"You two did... _things_ and suddenly objects started to levitate around and fall over. Is this...like normal? Don't tell me this happens every time you two do - _stuff_!"

Finn suddenly commented, obviously having problems talking about them two kissing, while he gestured around the fallen over items in confusion.  
Ben looked around them too now at the objects lying on the floor as pulled away from Rey, muttering a little surprised:

"Oh...?"

"Yeah...Fucking 'Oh'." Poe laughed as he pulled a fallen over chair up and sat down again looking at them both confused.

"You felt the power boost too didn't you?"

Rey asked Ben a little shocked as she too didn't know something like that would happen if they'd kiss, as it never did before.  
But as she thought about it, their minds never were as balanced as they were right now, having a mutual resolution - a plan for a somewhat shared future together. There was always mistrust, secrets and a war between them going on all these months before and this was the first time they decided to stand together against their common enemy. Maybe this was the difference to their prior kisses.

"Yes, I felt it too. I think we accidentally melded our force power together by being perfectly balanced right now."

Ben commented still surprised as he pulled some objects upright again with the flick of his hand, which they had accidentally thrown over with the force when they kissed.

"Melding the force? We can do that? Is that something good? I felt insanely powerful suddenly!"

Rey breathed out and grabbed Ben's hand again as the force was still strongly pouring through her veins and she somehow had the feeling she had to share this flow with Ben as it was too overwhelming to carry alone. When they touched once more, he instantly reacted and folded his hand around hers as he exhaled and closed his eyes for a second. Obviously, it still felt powerful for him too and he had to concentrate on it to not release it in some power outburst as they did before.

"Stars - is like everything alright with you two? Rey? Did you two fight or something?"

Suddenly someone from the crowd yelled uncertainly and slightly nervous at them as several people stared over once again to see what had happened.

"Yeah - everything is alright. We are trying to find out what happened too. Wasn't intended - sorry!"

Rey yelled back apologetically and looked at Ben again with a questioning face.

"Obviously - we can do that - yes. And it's fucking fascinating we are able to! Normally only Sith or Jedi masters can do so after years of training. I...I don't know if this might have happened because of our bond."

Ben tried to explain while he examined their joined hands, but wasn't so sure himself why this suddenly happened and more so over why they were even able to do that yet.

"We absolutely need to keep translating these Jedi books! The whole part about force bonds is missing from your knowledge and we need to find out what else we are able to do with the connection we share. Stars there must be so much we don't know yet!"

Rey exclaimed as her eyes beamed with anticipation at Ben's.

"So is it like, if you two kiss or fuck around, you become like super powerful? That sounds practical!"

Poe suddenly questioned with curiosity and a mischievous grin.  
Rey's face started to turn red at Poe talking about them "fucking around" which they did not even do yet, as she too pondered about what would happen if they seriously started to "fuck around" with each other and if things would be destroyed by their combined force powers then. She hoped not. Ben looked at her as he obviously had heard what she thought and bit his lip to hold back a laughter at what she just imagined until he answered:

"No this should normally not happen. We should be able to control it, this was accidental. We still do not know what we are capable of if we use our bond correctly."

"Yes...We just see each other in person since yesterday as you all probably remember. This is very different compared to the connection we had throughout the galaxy over our bond." Rey interjected and shrugged her shoulders.

"Is this normal when two force users meet? To form such a bond? And to be this powerful together?" Rose suddenly asked interestedly.

"It certainly didn't happen when I met Luke Skywalker. But of course, we didn't have this emotional connection as Ben and I have. Maybe it happened previously with other Jedi who were in love? I don't know." Rey asked and grinned knowingly at Ben who just knitted his eyebrows together as he listened to her.

" _Jedi_ were never 'in love'." Ben drily answered as he emphasised the word Jedi with disgust.

"What? Why not? Isn't love the purest form of balance and peace? What could be more balanced and more powerful than two people who love each other?"

Rey asked perplexed now as the others closely listened to their conversation, obviously also wanting to know the answers.

"Skywalker did not teach you anything at all. Stars..." Ben suddenly growled with a low voice and buried his forehead in his palm.

"No, he did not, you know that."

Rey pouted and put her head between her palms and propped her elbows on her knees as she thought back to how frustrating the time with Luke was.

"The Jedi code forbids to love someone, form emotional bonds, marry, or have any other attachments to individuals."  
Ben recited while he rubbed his scar in annoyance.

"What? This is bantha shit! You are not allowed to love someone as a Jedi? How the hell are you supposed to be on the light side, if you are forbidden to love?"  
Rose protested visibly shaken as she quizzed Ben.

"Don't ask me - I am no Jedi."

He answered a little snippy and folded his arms in front of his chest while he stared at Rey who actually was the one who was pursuing the goal to become a Jedi.  
Rey became really silent for some time as she pondered about what she just learned until she concluded:

"Luke told me, it was time for the Jedi to die. He was right about that. Even if I don't know most of the Jedi code yet, I know this part is just so wrong,  
I can't believe it actually. There must be something else in between all of this. Jedi - Sith - light side - dark side stuff. All these rules don't make any sense and are so restricting. Stars...Ok, I do not want to become a Jedi anymore. Seriously! I am already breaking every one of these rules. Apart from the marriage thing.  
But I will never want to become a Sith either!"

"You don't have to become anything of these two old obsolete things, you can just become what you are meant to be."  
Ben suddenly suggested as he partly recited something he already said to her some time ago when they had one of their force connection moments.

"Let old things die...the Sith...the Jedi... - Stars Ben! This is what you meant the whole time?"

Rey's eyes widened as she stared at him with sudden understanding.  
He didn't answer, but his brown eyes were fixed on hers and she did not even need to hear an answer from him as his glance said everything already. And finally,  
she understood him and completely agreed with what he had said to her back then.

They were no Jedi, nor Sith but something in between and they will find out together what they were capable of as they were free from the chains of the old ways of the force users who lived before them and made all these rules. Rey and Ben were the new generation of force users and they were the ones who will decide about their own destiny as well as how the force will be used from now on.  
There were no more rules, no more masters and no one to tell them how to do this.  
They were free to grow on their own and to find out where their place in all of this will be.

After they saved the whole galaxy of course.

* * *

 **Did anyone understand, that Ben actually is the most radical anarchist of all the character's in my story?  
The Resistance is radical too, but they want to keep the alleged order in the galaxy and want to keep the political system the way it is, which obviously fails at bringing peace to the Outer territories.  
He tried to radically fight off human greed throughout the galaxy (ok by killing everyone), he tried to change a fascist order from the inside (ok by leading it instead), he tried to sacrifice himself to give people a chance for freedom (ok by killing million others) and he rebelled against the old ways of the Jedi and Sith and found his own way which is not bound to any rules.  
Luckily Rey has the same mindset and starts to understand his ideas. Of course, Ben was totally mesmerized by her speech as she didn't let herself get pulled down by the broadcast, but instead started to plant ideas into the rebels heads to engineer revolts throughout the galaxy, instead of hoping for the government to act, in which he also doesn't believe it to happen.  
And yes - things will probably start to explode when they have sex the first time.**


	26. Chapter 26: New

**Aww, they are getting to know each other better in this chapter. On multiple levels. Also, jealousy, Ben making jokes & insults, swearing and nipples.**

* * *

After the broadcast and the discovery of being able to meld their force together, Rey and Ben decided to part their ways with the other rebels and her friends for today after these endless hours of hanging out together in the situation room, listening to everyone talk for so long.  
Rey was pretty hungry and guessed Ben must be too and they decided to go to her room, eat something and translate the Jedi texts, to maybe find out what happened today and what else they were capable of together, especially Rey who was much more on the light side of the force, than Ben was.  
As both had the need to have some time alone together after this long day, Rey asked him if he'd want to have his own room, or maybe and she hoped he'd say yes, wanted to stay in her room, to which he answered: "I don't care for an own room. I just need you close to me. But if you don't want to..." he started but she abruptly blurted out:  
"I want! Yes!" And she grinned at him in anticipation to sleep in his arms again later, as last night still was the best sleep she ever got in her whole life.

"Ok, first we are going to get the books, then some food and do you care for some wine actually? I always drank some when I worked on the texts.  
I could show and tell you some stuff about the base too, while we gather the stuff."  
"To everything you just said: Yes." He plainly answered and walked beside her, with his hands folded behind his back as they were strolling through the corridors which looked so different from the first Order ones. Much brighter, more open and with access to the outside of course, as they were on a planet and not on a battleship.  
While they were walking next to each other, they occasionally passed some other rebels who'd greet them and thanked Rey and even Ben for their speeches today as well as others who absolutely ignored them or threw wary glances at the couple. At some point, Ben commented sneeringly: "They are _so_ easy to read, I don't even have to listen to their thoughts to know what they think about you."  
"That's how they are towards me since I was forced to reveal our connection. Some accept it, some think it's good - an opportunity and some hate me for it. Guess it's intensified now that you are here of course." Rey answered as they reached the hangar and went over to the Falcon together.  
"At least I haven't met anybody who seems to have plan's to hurt or kill you for it." Ben stated while she opened the door to the Falcon as he stood next to the ship and eyed it with disgust.  
"And you? Do people want to kill you here on this base?" She stood at the door and stared at him, waiting for his answer.  
"Yes. Several. But they don't plan on acting on it, as they don't know how to accomplish it." He replied unaffectedly as he too waited in front of the Falcon while he looked up at the ship with knitted eyebrows.  
"That sounds so...comforting...not" Rey sneered sarcastically. "I will rip their fucking guts out if they try to."

Ben's eyes darted away from the ship to her's as he let out something like a half-laugh, half-huff with a slightly shocked glance as he was surprised at how angry and protective she was at this topic regarding him. "I'd love to see that." He plainly answered and together they walked into the Millenium Falcon.  
She felt him becoming tense as soon as he stepped over the ramp and she knew it was because it was his father's old ship, probably reviving lots of memories in him now.  
Of course, he was on the ship already yesterday, but then he was on the verge of suffocating and didn't really have the time to take in anything around him.  
So when they stepped in, he looked all around himself as his gaze grew dark with a deep frown.  
They went through the old, yellowed corridors to Rey's quarters as she asked: "How do you feel being on his ship again?"

He stopped in his track for a second before he kept on walking until he hissed out: "Disgusted.  
They had reached Rey's quarters and she turned around to face him, as she asked with a raised eyebrow: "Why do you hate this ship so much? You told me, you didn't hate your father, but why this ship then?"  
He stared at her for a long time, as if he considered answering at all, or not and she could see his jaw shove forward slightly as he bit his lip until he inhaled and closed his eyes for a second before he blurted out:  
"Because it is an old fucking piece of junk and everyone who flies it is lucky to be still alive afterwards. Because my father used it for smuggling pretty much everything throughout the galaxy. Because I never knew if he'd ever come back alive when he boarded it to go to one of his so-called 'missions'.  
Because this was the last ship I saw before he brought me to Skywalker. It's even infested right now. As if it's dying already."

Rey watched his little outburst with interest, as she didn't know these were the reasons why he reacted to it like that every time he saw it. With the word infested he probably meant the Porgs which were nesting kind of everywhere, even if Chewie and she tried to find and throw them all out, they magically appeared again and again.  
"You hated what your father did to earn money, didn't you? Did he really smuggle everything?" She asked and hoped he'd say no, as she couldn't imagine Han Solo smuggling slaves or children through the galaxy.  
"Yes. I loathed it - all the time. He didn't smuggle humans, but apart from that everything else, yes." Ben answered as he looked her straight in the eye, knowingly destroying the positive image she had in her mind about his father.

"Yes, I thought so. When I first met him he was smuggling Rathar's. I thought it to be funny back then as we managed to flee from space pirates because of these monsters. But when I heard about this rebel's family today, slaughtered by exactly such creatures. Phew... This wasn't funny at all anymore and I wondered about your opinion about his smuggling then."  
Rey explained as she walked towards him, while he stood in the doorway to her room. She positioned herself in front of him and splayed her palm on his chest as she stood on tiptoes to be a little more face to face with him, while he looked downwards at her as he still was much bigger.  
"Then you thought exactly right about my opinion on that topic." He stated as his brown eyes bored into hers from above.  
"Ben, I really cherish that we can talk so freely now without secrets or be scared of accidentally prattling something out, we shouldn't.  
I learned so much about you since yesterday and it keeps getting more interesting with every second. This lets me understand so much about...actually everything."  
She smiled at him and brushed her palm over his cheek.

"Yes. It makes it much easier. But I get to know a lot about you too, which is quite fascinating as well." He answered and kissed her forehead as he leaned down a bit.  
"Because you always read my mind, which is unfair." She pouted and leaned flatly against his chest. He let his lips rest on her head, while he mumbled:  
"Which I do, because you don't shield it against me. I told you before I can't..." He started but she interrupted him as she looked up again:  
"I don't care anymore if you do. Somehow I like it actually. It's unfair, that I can't answer in your mind too. You have to teach me, so we can communicate like that on both sides."  
"Oh." He breathed out surprised. "Sure I'll teach you. Does this finally make me your teacher after all?" He smirked at her obviously referring to the moment they fought on Starkiller Base when he offered to become her teacher.  
She pulled him down to a kiss, to which he reacted by tilting his head to the side and brushing his mouth over hers as she mumbled against his lips with a playful voice: "Mhhmm did I ever take one of your offers? Shall I this time? Do I have to call you master then?"

He snorted a little and cupped her face, as he kissed the bridge of her nose: "You don't have a master and you don't need one. But I'd still be honoured to teach you."  
Ben muttered and she felt his lips moving as his deep voice vibrated against her skin.  
She pulled back and laughed at him: "Heh! You are honoured to teach me? Then I am honoured that you feel honoured! Let's get the books, I am still starving!"

Then Rey turned around and went to the cupboard with the books as she pulled them out of the drawers as well as the holopad she used for the translation. "Here you go!" She said and levitated them one by one over to Ben, who caught them all in his arms.  
"And look what else I got!" She grinned and pulled out a small bottle of brown liquid from another drawer.  
"Hazelnut liquor? Do you plan on getting drunk tonight?" He asked with a raised eyebrow as he watched her.  
"No. But I'd like to have a drink with you to commemorate what you did, that you are still alive, here on this base and with me. I am just really happy it turned out to be like that." She grinned and squeezed the bottle between all these books he already held.  
"Uh-huh..." He replied nonchalantly.  
"Do you want to bicker about that?" She teased, as she knew he didn't plan at all to be saved and in this situation right now, but he kind of didn't have any other chance after she kidnapped him from Mustafar during his fight.  
"No, not at all. It's better like this. Not being dead and having you around is alright with me." He sarcastically replied and smirked at her.

Rey wondered how often she had seen him smile or smirk since yesterday and realized it was more and more every time, as he also started to speak more openly to her. Obviously, a huge weight fell from his shoulders the moment he left the First Order and being around her added to his better mood and much more open conversation.  
And she loved everything about it as she felt Ben Solo emerging through these years of abuse by Snoke he had to live through and absolutely knew for what she was fighting the whole time since she learned the truth about him.  
For this man who was standing in the doorway smirking like a young boy at her right now, with his arms full of Jedi books, with its content he mostly disapproved, which he will translate anyway just to help her grow and to understand their bond better. If his arms wouldn't be so packed, she would jump him right now and kiss him as long as her breath would last.

But before she'd do that she still needed to get food desperately so they turned around and were about to leave the Millenium Falcon until Ben took a turn and walked to the cockpit, where he stood in front, put the books down onto the pilot's chair and pulled down the golden dices and examined them which hung from the ceiling. As he put them back he mumbled to himself with a sad look in his eyes: "Still there..." and instantly picked up the books again to follow Rey outside. She didn't ask what exactly he meant, as it was probably something about his father and he might tell her if he wanted to by himself.

They went over to the cantina, while she explained him several things about the base to which he listened interestedly. There were several other rebels in the room,  
who watched them come in and started chattering quietly when they saw them until Rey growled: "Stars...the staring is so annoying. Finn told me it was the same for them when people learned about him and Rose."  
"Because he was a Stormtrooper and they both were regarded as traitors at the moment?" He concluded.  
Rey turned around and eyed him for some seconds as she answered: "Actually...yes exactly because of this. It is slightly comparable. But you are much worse to them of course, which makes me a much bigger traitor.  
Apart from that, I'll get some fucking food right now or I am gonna die any second. I'll get us some and we'll go to my room. Anything you don't like?"  
She asked as she already turned around to walk to the serving counter. "No pick whatever you like." Was his answer as he waited near the door.

Rey turned around and picked two bowls of rice and different vegetables as this was something she liked to eat herself. As she waited for it to be given to her, she talked to the cantina lady who told her how good she felt after Rey's short speech today and that she too thought, that they all together will win against the First Order.  
Rey nodded with a big smile, took the two bowls and turned around as she suddenly saw one woman standing directly in front of Ben as she talked to him.  
It was one of the girls who asked her so many details about him, whom Leia titled as 'his fanclub'. Rey growled in annoyance and strolled over slowly as she didn't want to appeal somehow possessive. Ben's gaze was a deep frown and she saw him saying something to her with eyes squeezed together in concentration, as the woman instantly afterwards turned around and walked forwards with a somehow empty gaze, while Rey heard her say: "I will turn around, go back to my table and eat my food in silence."

Rey snorted as she exactly knew what Ben did right now and mumbled to him: "That's exactly what I did to your Stormtrooper when you kidnapped me."  
"I know." He answered and they both left the cantina as they finally went to her room.  
"What did she even want?" Rey asked a little upset.  
"She was really direct. She invited me to her room tonight." He replied with a frown.  
Rey let the two bowls of food nearly fall down as she stopped in her tracks and gasped with an open mouth at him.  
"You are kidding me, aren't you?" She hissed.  
"No." He replied in a stern voice.

"Stars...This fucking...fuck...maker I will freaking punch this woman in her face if she fucking does this ever again. I hate her. Stars how I hate her. She is so horrible! Actually, I'd like to go back and punch her right now! The fuck is wrong with her?" Rey suddenly blurted out with rage as she kept on walking, now pretty fast through the corridor as he again followed her.  
"You made fun of me being jealous on your so-called 'birthday'. Tell me what this is right now." He sneered at her with a nod.  
"Nothing." She replied shortly.  
"Tell me." He demanded.  
She didn't say anything anymore.  
"Say it." He demanded once more.  
Rey suddenly stopped again and looked at the floor: "I am fucking jealous... How dare she ask you that, while I am obviously in the same room? As if I do not exist?" Then she slowly started walking with a somehow sad look in her eyes.  
Ben took a step sideways as he walked next to her and deliberately bumped into her arm just the slightest bit, so she wouldn't let go of the bowls as he said: "Because she's a disrespectful moof-milker."

Rey finally smiled again after being enraged, jealous and also feeling overlooked by this woman as she huffed out between laughs: "You got all these insults so much from your mother. I don't know who of you two is better at swearing!"  
"Leia is." He instantly replied while they had reached Rey's room and she opened the door. He put the books and the bottle down onto a table in the middle of the room,  
while she placed the two bowls of food onto the dresser.

He watched her until a wide grin appeared on his face as he dipped his head down and folded his arms behind his back, staring at her knowingly: "It's _that_ dresser. I see."  
Rey swirled around suddenly as her face went red completely while she thought back to what they nearly did on this dresser through their force connection after she came out from the fresher. "Yes, it's _that_ dresser..." She breathed out and before she could even say something more, he was already in front of her, heaved her up onto the piece of furniture and pressed his body between her legs as she was only just able to push the bowls aside in time, so they wouldn't drop down.

Even if she sat higher now, she was just as big as he is which was uncommon but exciting too and he instantly crushed his lips down on hers hungrily and didn't let any time pass before he slipped his tongue into her, while she gripped the hair on the back of his head and pressed herself into him, feeling really aroused by his sudden, unexpected move on her. Ben too pressed his hips against her groin and brought one hand up to her thigh which he was nearly able to clasp around completely while he pressed his other hand flatly against her chest, pulling her forwards to him with two fingers which he had slipped behind the collar between her breasts. Oh, boy is he ready! She thought as she felt his hard member pressing against her inner thigh which inflamed her desire immensely and she couldn't wait how all of this would feel without any clothes parting them.

After some seconds he kissed down a sloppy trail from her lips, over to her jaw and to her neck, where he stayed for some time and alternately let his wet tongue glide over her skin, or sucked on it with his puffy lips which made her cry out as she closed her eyes and entangled her legs around his hips to shove herself against him, because she just needed more of him. To be even closer, to feel more of his body heat, his muscles, his arousal, smell him, hear him just take everything from him that she was able to reach just through their bodies being pressed against each other right now.

Again this man was making her go crazy in a matter of seconds and she nearly yelled out, when she suddenly felt his mouth directly cup her whole nipple, over the thin fabric of her tunic, but instead of a yell there was just this deep choked growl that escaped her lips as her head fell back and she gripped a fistful of his hair.  
"Fuck...Ben..." She panted out, as she felt the fabric getting wet and him biting down oh so gentle on to her suddenly very erect nipple.  
"Your food is getting cold...Rey." He mumbled with a grin, she could even feel without looking down, as he cupped her breast now and peaked it a little by squeezing it together, while he flicked his tongue against the fabric onto the small raised part of her skin which was sending shivers through her in waves already as it was such an intense feeling. Every now and then he would part away a bit and the wet fabric would get a little colder from the air around them until he dipped his head down again to suck on it with his super warm tongue and these small smacking noises he did, which made her arch against him from the prickling feeling in her skin and these noises which too drove her crazy.  
"Fuck the food..." She managed to breath out as he took her other breast into his hand and squeezed it gently as he let his index finger glide above the sensitive part there too, until she ripped his head away from her breast and bowed forwards to wantingly bite and lick his lower lip, while he growled into her mouth, finally not being so dominant anymore, but even more losing his control to her too.  
They were still fully clothed but she already felt dizzy from all these sensations she experienced through his touch and again she found herself pressing against him in a rhythmical pattern already as she wished he would just rip everything down from her and take her right now on this damn dresser.


	27. Chapter 27: Spark

**There is so much fluff and sexual tension stuff in this chapter - phew! But I promise next one will have more action again.**

* * *

Rey couldn't wait any longer now as his hot, wet lips bruised hers from kissing each other so hard and sloppy, that she had to pause every now and then to let out a shaky moan against the corner of his mouth while she caught her trembling breath every time just a bit at least, before they instantly continued, as he too seemed like he couldn't wait too long anymore. So she started to unclip his belt, as well as slowly open every little button on the inside of his tunic while her tongue rolled over his, which he did too pretty harsh, but she liked this immensely as she wasn't the soft type either when it came to making out, especially when it came to him. Ben held her cheek with one hand and with the other massaged her nipple roughly as well as cupped and squeezed her breast which was already oversensitive from his touch and made her body shudder with want. So much actually that she felt like if he kept on doing so, she would find release just by this circling motion from his thumb without the need to go any further at all while she already whimpered into his mouth, feeling the pleasure building up inside her, as she pressed her already super moist entrance against his erection, legs straddled around his hips, cursing all this fabric which was still between them.

When she finally opened his tunic and pulled it apart in front of his chest, which was covered by a sleeveless black shirt, she realized he still had these bandages draped all over his body and she gasped for a second as she totally forgot he still was very much injured from yesterday's fight. Of course, he was - he was shot 12 times by Deathroopers as well as sustained several slashes by vibro-weapons against his chest, arms and legs. "Oh, Ben...I totally forgot...Doesn't it hurt? It must be hurting! You really don't let it show at all the whole time!" She gasped out as she brushed her palm delicately over the bandages, without applying too much pressure.  
"It just hurts if you press yourself against it too much, or if I move too fast." He smiled down at her and planted a kiss on her hair.  
"But to reassure you, I would have stopped you anyway now, as I do not think I'd be wholeheartedly able to fuck you the way you deserve and want it right now."  
He explained cockily as he kissed the bridge of her nose and mumbled against her skin: "But maker...your flushed, aroused face is the most fucking beautiful thing in the galaxy. I can't wait to see the moment you'll completely lose control."

Rey huffed out at his crass, and funnily true words. Which actually meant he wanted her. A lot. And not just that, he wanted her to come. Come hard at that too.  
Oh, how right he was as she too was looking forward to this very moment, as she already knew from these few things they have done by now, this would be the most amazing, thrilling sex she'll ever experience in her whole life. And she wanted to see him lose control too, to spoil him, to feel him become undone, wanted to hear him moan in her ear. When he was able to nearly make her come just by teasing her nipples, everything that could happen when they'd continue with actually anything at all, can just be even better. He too deserved a good fucking and she was thrilled to give him exactly that someday soon. "Uh-huh...So you just intentionally teased me? Stars that's just so cruel. I will so fucking much tease you these next days, you'll be begging for it on your knees!" She hummed against his neck as she nibbled alongside his jaw and felt him inhale a little shaky after hearing her words as if he would be either anticipating what she was said or fearing how much it would affect him the upcoming days.  
"You are the only one for whom I would kneel down ever again." He suddenly announced as he held her head in between both his palms and searched her eyes. "And if it's just for begging to be allowed to touch you, I would do so without hesitation." He added and gave her another sweet kiss on the corner of her lips as she grinned at his words.

"Stars...you can be quite the romantic if you want to." She declared with a smile and started buttoning his tunic together again,  
but he stopped her with a palm on her hands.  
"Actually, you can pull it off. It's not like we are leaving your room anymore tonight, aren't we?" He muttered as he watched her hands resting on his chest.  
"No, I don't think so."  
Rey grinned at him as she slowly pulled the tunic over his shoulders and brushed the sleeves down his arms carefully to not press against the injuries.  
Even if she already undressed him yesterday on the Millenium Falcon after saving him and saw him through one of their force connection moments, naked from the waist up, this time was so different than before as she took as long as she wanted to watch his torso being peeled out from under his clothes by her hands. It was also the first time she was able to take in the shape of his body without any distraction or embarrassment, and it was an insanely perfect body he had. Stars, he was so big, muscular, well trained and overly just beautifully shaped she wanted to glide her hands all over him, to feel every inch of his body and to find every scar he possesses as well as she wanted to know each story behind every single one, even if she already knew how several of them happened or to be true she was responsible for some of them too.

He watched her interestedly as she peeled him out of his clothes but helped a bit when she pulled it over his broad shoulders while her fingers brushed down a slow trail to the crook of his arms. She couldn't hide her amazement at how much her fingertips prickled when she touched him while concentrating on it, not being distracted by her own lust as she often was these last times they shared such proximity. Every time they so were close they either felt a total rush of overwhelming lust and desire for each other or on the other hand slipped in some kind of trance-like state where they just deeply concentrated on the exciting, but also calming feelings their clashing force powers are giving them when they were at total balance, just exploring the presence of the other one as they had never before felt such a thing.

It felt as if sparks were being ignited in the small space between her fingertips and his skin, which made her heart flutter with excitement and she couldn't get enough of this ever. She had the same feeling when they touched hands the first time via their force connection on Ahch-To, just before Luke interrupted them.  
But really touching him, without million miles of galaxy between them, was on a whole other level.  
After she reached his wrist and finally his palms with her fingertips, he closed his hands around hers for some seconds and squeezed them, as she looked up into his eyes with a dreamy gaze. "You feel these sparks of the force too when I touch you, don't you?" She asked him as she wanted to find out if she just imagined it as she never had this feeling with any other person.  
"Yes. I do. Every time. It's intense and extraordinary." He answered and was fixed on her eyes, while he pulled one arm forward and grabbed beside her to take the forgotten bowl from the dresser she was still sitting on as he shoved it into her hands. "And I feel you are still starving. There you go."

"Stars yes I am!" She answered and handed him his bowl too, as they both eventually left the dresser and decided to sit at the table in her room. Rey was still extremely aroused but she tried to not think too much about it right now as she was seriously hungry. She opened up a bottle of wine as announced before and poured two glasses for them while she sat sideways on his lap to still see him and raised the glass with the red liquid before her face. Somehow their relationship developed unbelievably fast as if they've known each other since forever. Where there was uncertainty and sometimes even shyness before over the last months, everything had suddenly changed since the moment they knew they had feelings for each other and she felt absolutely secure around him and just did things without asking or thinking about if he liked to do this or not, like sitting on his lap right now. But as he instantly reacted on actions from her like these, by putting his arm around her hip as soon as she sat down, she knew he also felt secure and wanted the same thing right now: Being as close as possible to each other.

"To letting the past die and bringing a new order to the galaxy - together?" She asked intentionally with the usage of his own quote, which somehow changed its meaning by now, but still applied as she pulled up the glass to her mouth with a wide grin, but waited for him to answer before she started drinking.

"We will bring balance - together." He tilted the glass forwards a bit while he nodded and they both took some gulps to celebrate this day as a new era the galaxy will experience through their combined forces, as Rey and Ben on a completely personal level will too. Just before she stood up and parted from him, she, of course, couldn't just let go, before giving him an intense kiss on his lips, which were wetted with the alcohol and she had to moan a bit as kissing him with the really sweet taste of red wine between them, was getting to her head really fast and she had to pull herself together to not devour him, instead of her food.  
He pulled back a little to take another gulp out of his glass, but instantly brought his lips up to hers again and she felt some of the wine he left intentionally in his mouth drip slowly onto her tongue as he pushed the liquid into her opened lips right now and this was probably the sexiest and most arousing gesture anybody has ever done to her.  
Her body shuddered wantingly on top of his and she let out a deep growl as she really slowly pulled away from him and breathed out: "Damn...I was the one who wanted to tease you. Not the other way round."  
He raised his eyebrows at her and answered smugly: "Kriff. Must have misunderstood that. I am really not sorry."  
She snorted and finally stood up from his lap to sit on her own chair, already missing his warmth and that hard part of his body which was pressed against her bottom the whole time she sat on his legs. At least, she knew, he was teasing himself too with such actions.

While they ate together she started asking him questions about how force melding worked, about the First Order, about what the biggest rock was he ever lifted, which he replied to that it wasn't a rock, but a huge steel part of a ship he had to rip open, which weighed a few tons, as well as she wanted to know since when he knew he was force sensitive which began for him already at the age of two. At some point, she knew he was about to comment her eating manners again, while she stuffed her face ungracefully with food, but as she looked at him with a glance that could kill, he refrained from doing so, as he obviously remembered what she did this morning when he commented it.  
He asked her about how she learned to fight with her quarterstaff and how she managed to build it, which she explained him in great detail as it took a long time and several funny, but also violent encounters to get all the needed parts. As well as for the fighting she learned it from watching old empire holovideos she found in the abandoned Starships as well as just had to learn it by defending herself against thieves and other attackers. After some time he described to her that there was a time when some Jedi and Sith possessed saberstaffs and how their mechanics worked as her eyes started to glow at his words in excitement as this certainly was a weapon type she was really familiar with, much more at least than she was with the lightsaber form. He warned her about this weapon as it was not used by many as it needed special training and that even he wouldn't dare to use it as some could easily stab themselves in midfight with it. Nonetheless, he lit a huge spark of interest in Rey with giving her this information and she planned to build one when the time is right. With his help of course, as she obviously had no idea about it as hers nearly exploded last time she tinkered with it.

When they were done talking and eating, they put their bowls together and she showed him some things in her room. Some of it he had already seen through their connection but they never talked about it before. There was the flower she picked every other day, as she never had flowers on Jakku, as well as she showed him her staff as he had never seen or touched it for real and he swirled it around and commented it being too small for his height, but obviously perfect for her. Then she showed him several droid parts on which she was tinkering every now and then, as well as some shiny objects she found in the Falcon which were brought by all these Porgs which resided in the ship, to where he asked what exactly these Porgs were and why they don't just kill them instead of just throwing them out.  
To which she snapped at him, that they are really sweet and should not be killed and that she is going to show them to him the next days so he'd understand, as he rolled his eyes. Then she remembered that someone like him would probably find nothing sweet at all and really saw them as an infestation and nothing more.

Afterwards, she showed him several pictures on small flat-holoframes of Finn, Poe, Rose and her they did together in these last months as she smiled and told him about the days they made the pictures. One was from her birthday, one from the day they all together tried to make the Falcon Porg free, where they failed miserably, one from the day she was locked up in the Falcon for three days by the order of his mother and all of them decided to visit her until she had the fight with Finn, one was from Finn and her having a cookie eating contest, where he had to puke afterwards. Ben listened closely and stated after some time: "These people. They are really important to you.  
They are your family."  
"Yes, Ben...they are. They are the family I never had and I don't want anybody of them to ever get hurt. I would give my life for them. You belong to this group of people who are so insanely important to me too. You are just not in these pictures, as you weren't there. Actually, when I think about: I should have tried to take a picture of you through our connection. Do you think it would have worked?" She explained with the flat-holos in her hands as she turned around and looked at him questioningly.

"No, it wouldn't have worked as the connection just flows through our minds. No device can capture this. Also, I really hate pictures." He answered and took one holo to inspect it closely. "I am sorry, you had to worry about them because of my actions." Obviously, he was mostly talking about Finn right now as he had slashed him down with his lightsaber on Starkiller Base back then, maybe also about Poe who he had tortured to find the map.  
"This sounded like a half-assed apology, but it's okay. As you said some time ago to me, that's what happens if you use weapons against each other. But you can tell Finn and Poe that by yourself someday." She acknowledged and walked over to the table with the books as she picked up some, as well as the holopad and went to her bed with them in her arms to sit down. He didn't answer to her remark about the two men, but she was sure he was thinking about it somehow as he too, took the other books and walked over to carefully put them on her mattress, while he kicked off his boots and joined her on the bed. Stars he was in HER bed right now. She would have never dreamed this would ever happen. Having the mighty Kylo Ren sitting cross-legged on her bed with his arms full of books. If anybody would see him now, nobody would believe it was him.

"What a bummer you didn't give me the scroll you already wrote before you did your suicidal mission. We lost that work already. But I guess you had other things on your mind that night."  
She huffed out as she turned the holopad on and watched him, while he was eagerly flipping through the books already with widened eyes full of amazement.  
Stars he could be so sweet when he was fascinated by something, she thought.  
"Yes, I should have given them to you. But the night we met before Mustafar I wasn't really...there with my mind. My only thought was that you really needed your lightsaber back before I'll die and that I at least owed you this." He mumbled as his index finger brushed over some drawings in one of the books he was holding right now.  
"Do you care to tell me next time you plan some insane things which will 100% kill you? I'd like to join you, so the chances split up to 50/50 you know?"  
She stated half-jokingly, half-seriously while she stared intensely at Ben as she finally was able to somehow accuse him of knowing he'd get killed without telling her about it at all, which still hurt a lot. Not because he decided not to tell her, as she obviously would have tried to hinder him, which he probably tried to avoid, but more so over because he wouldn't be sitting next to her right now, but would be lying dead at the First Order base now. Maybe that's also why she had the urge to always be near him, touch him and talk to him the whole time since she saved him from Starkiller Base II. Because she knew, that he knew, he wouldn't have been getting out alive from Mustafar or even stayed at the Resistance Base right now. So he somehow got a second chance at living he didn't know he'd get and she was eager to use every minute she was finally given with him.

Finally, he looked up from the books and stared back, as he answered: "Don't worry. We will have more than enough situations in the upcoming days, weeks and months were we can get killed - together. But from now on I prefer to be on your side for that."  
She snorted at that and said: "Pff. You talk so easily about that. I hope we are not going to get killed. You don't have any fear of dying, don't you?"  
He plainly stated: "No. My fear regards your safety only and I will work on this issue."  
"You mean we will work on this issue." She commented with a raised eyebrow.  
Ben's eyes darted to her's and his glance changed to an understanding one as he replied: "Yes...We."  
It was obvious, he always fought alone and had no one to fight with him by his side all these years. So, of course, he had to adjust to this new situation.  
Rey understood why it was so hard for him to accept that he wasn't alone anymore as she too fought alone and just for her own survival her whole life on Jakku and only when she met Finn, she started to learn what it meant to fight as a team, help each other and share an emotional bond which made them stronger together.

She handed the holopad over to him, as she said: "I guess you also don't have your ink brushes anymore, for which I am sorry. I know it was important to you.  
So we got to translate it with this. I have every book already transcribed in there."  
"You were really hard-working. I like that." He commented as he scrolled through the signs until he activated a function which showed a small hologram of Rey's transcribed texts above the holopad itself, so he could simultaneously type on the monitor while seeing her spadework.  
"Yeah it was tiring, but I hope worth it. I don't know what to do now as you have to translate it. Can I help you somehow?"  
She answered and sipped her wine. He turned his head to her and answered with a small grin playing on his lips:  
"Sure. Come over and sit closer already."

If he wanted her to sit closer he could have it, she thought. So she shuffled over to him and positioned herself right between his legs, with her back leaning against his chest, not too much, to not put too much pressure on his wounds, as he wrapped his arm around her, while the other held the holopad. "Close enough?" She asked with a grin as she looked at him over her shoulder.  
"Never." He answered and dipped his head down to give her a kiss. Stars...they were just so lovestruck Rey realized right now. But as this was the best feeling she ever felt in her whole life she just dwelled in it as much as she wanted to.

* * *

 **I think Rey's eating manners will at some point draw Ben into insanity and he'll kill her for chewing too loud.  
But I could understand him, as I too have the urge to strangle people who are eating loudly.**


	28. Chapter 28: Attack

**Giovanna Bays: Let's see...Maybe it does...or maybe not ;)**  
 **mileni-chan: I am really happy to hear that, I hope your emotional rollercoaster continues with the next chapters.**  
 **littleluny: Ha! Hast du an meiner Art des Schreibens erkannt, dass ich deutsch spreche? Hatte es nämlich nirgendwo erwähnt bisher. Und danke für das Lob! Ich versuche die Charaktere möglichst originalgetreu zu behalten, wobei Ben sicherlich mehr fluff hat als im Original.**

* * *

While he explained her every other minute everything he was translating, as well as answering her questions she sometimes looked in amazement at him as he was - at least when it came to the theoretical part of teaching - the best teacher she could ever imagine. Where Luke was grumpy and beyond hope, Ben was patient and eager to explain her as much as he was able to and she was already looking forward to training lightsaber combat with him too.

Finally, there was someone who she could bombard with all these questions about what was happening with her and what she was able to do with the power she possessed. He never seemed to be unnerved by her questioning, but more so over even excited by teaching her these things and slowly she understood why he asked her about becoming her teacher back then on Starkiller Base. Apart from being fascinated by her already back then, he just really liked to talk about the force, spinning theories about the possible abilities as well as trying to prove why this or that ability is not pure light or dark,  
but more so over a power without a certain touch by any side to it. He had a huge thirst for knowledge about everything regarding the force and he was flourishing with light while he explained her everything. She listened closely to everything he told her as she was as thirsty for knowledge as he was and everything he said was just so unbelievable and interesting she virtually hung on his every word.

After hours of translating and talking she started feeling dizzy from the wine, but at the same time wanted to drink more as it made her body tickle pleasantly, so she pulled the bottle with hazelnut liquor over into her arms with a flick of her hand and opened it, while he eyed her with a grin, as he asked: "So what was that again about not getting drunk tonight?"  
"I am totally not!" She blurted out as she took a large gulp and instantly turned around to give him a sloppy kiss as she also offered him the bottle. "This one is the best!" She added with a grin.  
"It's my favourite liquor. That's why I gave it to you last time." He commented and took some sips too as he laid the holopad down and gave it back to her. "Yeah, it's really good. Thanks for showing it to me." She replied.  
"Do you like...ever get drunk? It looks like you are not affected at all by it." She slurred a bit and turned around to fully face him with a questioning glance.  
"Of course I do. But you are much smaller and the alcohol concentration in your blood is getting faster to your head by a lesser amount than it does to mine.  
I just need much more. But to reassure you: I'm starting to feel dizzy." He answered and trailed his thumb over her nose and her lips.  
"Oh, you do? Very well!" She laughed and took another gulp and handed him the bottle back, which he emptied as it was already near empty anyway.  
"So now that everything is empty I guess it's better for you to not drink anything else tonight." He lectured her as he put away the holopad, pulled her forward and placed his hands on her hips while she sat in front of him.

"Hmm, no...but I could instead strip down for you." She mumbled with a mischievous grin.  
His eyes suddenly widened with shock and he stuttered while he leaned away from her a bit: "I...You shouldn't when you are drunk."  
Before he could even finish what he wanted to say she already opened her brown belt and pulled apart the white shirt she was wearing, revealing she was not wearing anything under it. Her breasts were not yet visible but were on the verge of showing when the fabric would slip one inch to the side.  
His eyes wandered up and down her body without daring to touch her, while she pulled herself up, to kneel directly in front of him, her chest now directly on the level of his head, while she clasped the waistband of her pants and opened them in front of him, as she heard his breathing getting faster and him mumbling in a warning manner: "Rey...What do you think you are you doing?"  
"Stripping down. As I told you." She answered with a giggle, while she pulled her pants down to her knees, then suddenly plopped onto her back next to him, bent her knees and pushed the trousers over her thighs with her feet, until it was off completely and she tossed it aside onto the floor with the flick of her leg.

She now lay just in her underpants and with her partly opened shirt on the bed, which revealed a line of skin beginning from her waistband to her lower abdomen,  
over to her stomach, to the space between her breasts and to her neck.  
Then she slowly sprawled out one leg over his and brushed her thigh teasingly against the fabric of his pants while she looked at him with a flirtatious grin.  
He still looked at her in total shock as if he had just seen Darth Vader himself, for he would probably the only one in the galaxy who'd be positively surprised about it.  
"Not so smug anymore aren't you?" She sneered at him and drew her hand over the revealed skin of her stomach.  
He snapped out of his shocked staring and answered slowly: "I don't know if what you are doing is good when you are drunk Rey." While he raised his hands and laid them on her knee, from where he gently massaged and caressed a trail upwards to her thigh.  
"Uh, I am sober enough to know what I am doing. What do you think I am doing right now?" She questioned him as she let her palm slowly wander down her own body, over her hips and to his hands which were on her upper thigh by now.

He leaned forward from his seating position suddenly and loomed over her, while he placed himself between her thighs and bent the leg he massaged before next to her body while his gaze showed that he was obviously amazed at how flexible she was.  
Then he bowed down and started to kiss her naked stomach and nibbled a wet trail close to the waistband of her underwear, as one hand held her leg up at the backside of her thigh, as the other grabbed around her hip, but still without revealing her breasts. The soft smooching sounds he made while doing so and the prickling feeling from his teeth scraping just slightly on her skin made her body quiver with want, as they were again from 0 to 100 in an instant. And once again she was the one who initiated.  
But then again, she just promised to tease him, didn't she? Or did she tease herself? Obviously, they were both already professionals at teasing each other and couldn't stop it somehow.

Then he breathed against her skin as he answered to her question: "You are using an unbeknown force power to seduce me once again."  
She grabbed a fistful of his hair, as she guided his head to her chest, between her opened tunic, while he kissed, nibbled and sometimes bit his way upwards and let his body weight rest on her, as she could feel his already hardened member press against her core.  
She growled at this sensation as she panted out: "Mhmmm...I think you must be totally mistaken. That's not at all what I wanted to do."  
When he had reached the space between her breasts, she felt how he was getting fidgety under her grasp, so she straddled her legs around his hips and pressed herself against his lower body, to which he let out a pleasured hiss as he looked at her with such a wanting glance, she thought he'd undress her right now just by looking at her.  
"Rey fuck...If you don't stop I'll really don't care landing in the medical facility later on again anymore..." He growled out, referring to his wounds he didn't want to open up again, as he kept on nibbling into the direction of her left breast, while his thumb wandered along the curve right under it.

Suddenly she had a wicked grin on her face, as she ordered: "Would you hand me that shirt behind you?"  
Ben suddenly stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes widened and he pulled his head up a little: "Shirt?"  
"Yeah. It's the shirt I sleep in. Would you hand me that one? " She repeated still grinning.  
He pulled himself up a bit more, turned around and grabbed behind him as he took hold of her shirt, then handed it to her.  
"Now you can turn around so I can change. Thank you very much." She announced as she laid the shirt on her stomach.  
"You were serious with the teasing you mentioned earlier." He stated with a growl while he indeed turned away from her, so she could change.

Rey came up from her lying position and kneeled behind him, as she pulled her tunic away now being nearly completely naked save for her underwear, which were black panties, which she of course totally coincidentally wore today, as she pulled her weight forward and positioned herself bare-chested against his back, embracing him from behind, knowingly pressing her naked breasts against his torso which made him inhale shakily.  
"Uh-huh. Of course, I am." She mumbled into his ear, as she planted kisses on the side of his neck while she pulled her wide sleeping shirt over herself. The one she wore when they had the force connection the day he was shot at by one of his manipulated training droids.

He tilted his head to the side, to give her better access to his skin as he let out an aroused groan which satisfied her immensely while he answered:  
"Stars...Rey you are seriously..." Then he instantly went quiet and his body grew tense, as he pulled his lightsaber into his hand with a fast gesture and muttered out: "FUCK!" As he jumped from the bed, into his boots in one swift motion and darted over to the door.  
She felt something happening too through the force and also jumped up as she grabbed her lightsaber, followed him outside too and they both ran through the corridors while a siren suddenly started to ring through the hallways with a red warning light blinking on the walls.  
"What is it?" She yelled at Ben while he ran forwards while she had problems holding up, as, for every step he took, she had to take two.  
He slowed down just the slightest bit, as he realised he was too fast and hissed out: "Enemy ships are approaching."  
Obviously, he knew that, before even seeing or hearing about it. So this might be the force precognition they talked about earlier.  
"WHAT? Fuck! How'd they know about the base? Who?" She yelled as she started running faster right behind him.  
"Don't know!" He answered, as they nearly ran into Poe who just darted around a corner with a raised blaster while he held his communicator up and listened to someone screaming orders, while he yelled back into it also giving out orders.

They instantly stopped for a second, then kept on running together to the exit, while he informed them: "Three enemy ships approaching. Presumably space pirates and headhunters."  
"How many attackers?" Ben questioned with a stern voice as they finally reached the hangar, where rebels were already hiding behind cargo boxes, shooting at a ship which was landing right now.  
"Might be 200-300 people judging by the ship's dimensions." Poe answered as he pressed his back flatly against the wall with his blaster in front of his chest as he listened to the voices coming from his communicator and kept a watch out on the landing ship. Then he turned his head to look at Rey and Ben the first time since they ran together, who also were pressed at the wall on the other side of the corridor, their lightsabers already ignited to watch the ship too and the pilot's face distorted into a grin the moment his eyes fell on Rey. She just came in her shirt and her underpants, her hair a mess as she didn't have any time to dress herself before Ben darted out of the room.  
"Nice pants cinnamon roll!" He commented sarcastically and looked over his shoulder again while the ramp to the enemy ship opened as Ben and Rey simultaneously growled:  
"Fuck you Poe!" And both darted in an instant forward to the battleship, glowing lightsabers clutched to their sides to fend off the first attackers who were suddenly streaming out of the ship shooting with their blasters on every moving target around them.

The attackers were armoured and used different blasters, smaller handguns as well as bigger ones with a fast rate of fire.  
Ben lashed forward with massive strides, slicing through one guy after another while he sometimes grabbed the attackers with his free hand and shoved them over to Rey to get them out of his way.  
She instantly used this to plunge her saber into their chests while she let out screams of fury with each one she stroke down.  
At the same time, they had to evade and deflect the blaster shots which Ben did with ease, while Rey had problems with it as she hadn't done this often enough by now.  
But every time she missed one, Ben already froze the shots in front of her as she ducked away instantly and darted forward to defend him when he was concentrated on stopping the blasters.

From a distance, the rebels flanked them from all sides, killing off a good amount of enemies too which made it slightly easier for the two force users as everyone worked together and protected one another. She saw Poe running from one wall to another as he shot down several space pirates with rigour, while Finn stayed behind a ship and shot some down every now and then too.  
There was yelling, explosions, screams and shots to be heard everywhere as well as the sizzling sounds of their swirling lightsabers and the laser beams while some of the cargo boxes in the hangar already caught fire by blaster shots and smoke filled the hall.

Rey ducked to the side as one huge man aimed at her, whilst she dashed forward to stab through him, but with a grunting noise he blocked her saber with the armour on his underarm, which obviously was able to withstand lightsabers. She stumbled backwards and tried to jab his legs instead, but he was faster and kicked into her stomach, sending her down, sliding onto her back over the concrete as he lashed forward with the blaster aimed at her head.  
He yelled: "Fucking Jedi Scum! 2000 grand for me!" As he stomped with one boot on her wrist which clasped the lightsaber desperately and she couldn't move it anymore. Rey heard the click of him triggering the weapon and she screamed in panic as she had no way to evade this shot in her position, thinking she'd die right now.  
Suddenly the sizzling blue laser beam from his blaster halted an inch before her nose and she held her breath as she saw Ben tackling the man from behind, taking him in a headlock and held his deactivated lightsaber next to his temple, just to ignite it directly through his head. Then he let the lifeless body of the attacker slump to the side,  
while Rey shuffled away from the frozen blaster bolt and instantly jumped up again as their glances exchanged for a second with a small nod and they turned around in unison to carve their way through the next wave of attackers who already surrounded them. They stood back to back as she heard Ben growling in anger while he plunged his saber through someone behind her, the same moment she kicked a guy away in the front and threw her blade into his chest, just to retrieve it a second later by pulling it out through the force as she stumbled into Ben's back, who grabbed her arm in an instant and pulled her to the side as one shot flew right next to her face where she just stood a moment before. Slowly the enemies became less and the dead bodies on the floor became more, while the rebels gained some ground and moved forward too.

Suddenly there were more explosions and the loud noises of ion engines, belonging to two other ships which were about to land right behind the first one, which Rey perceived from the corner of her eye, while she ducked away from more blaster shots. She breathed rapidly and huffed out, while she kicked one attacker back and then sliced through his legs, as she was already exhausted from the fight and got sloppy in her movements.  
There'd be much more to come after they fought off the crew of the first ship and she was sure, they wouldn't hold out much longer if they'd keep to this insane tempo.  
Her head swirled around to Ben, who just split one man in the middle and instantly turned around to defend himself against two incoming blaster shots, deflecting them back with his lightsaber  
"Ben!" Rey screamed and pointed over to the approaching ships. His head turned around to her, then to the ships and he squeezed his eyes together as he strode over to her fast.  
Suddenly he took her head in both his palms and leaned forward to her with just an inch between them, as his black hair, wetted by blood and sweat hung into his eyes and he panted out:  
"Rey! Remember the force melding we did? We'll do it again. Now! Crash one ship into the other one. I'll guide you!"  
"WHAT? It's a fucking huge ship - I'll never ever..." She yelled out in shock as he interrupted her and bellowed: "You fucking can Rey!"  
Then he yelled at the other rebels who were still shooting at the leftover attackers surrounding them: "Cover us!"  
As he grabbed her hand suddenly and pulled his other one upwards into the air to the direction of the landing ships.  
Suddenly the engines of one ship made unbelievably loud noises and Rey knew it was him who did it with the force, stopping it in midair somehow and her eyes widened as he truly was able to stop a battleship this size. But judging by his stressed and concentrated face, as well the grinding of his teeth it was unbelievably straining and he was barely holding it.

She also pulled her arm up and did the same, trying to concentrate on the ship as well as on their connection and the force flowing through her and him.  
Rey opened her mind completely as she dived into his simultaneously and suddenly she heard voices around her everywhere, from the rebels surrounding them to the attackers in the ship. Most of the thoughts were screamed ones and she couldn't understand what they were saying as they were all mixed up. So this was how it is all the time in his head? This is insane! She couldn't concentrate at all like this. "Block them out! Concentrate on your power! Draw strength from your anger, your exhaustion, fear! Feel my mind!"

She did and it felt like dark liquid started to pump through her veins as she thought about the moment that man nearly shot into her face, the feeling as she saw Finn nearly being hit by a laser beam just minutes ago, before he shot the attacker down, she felt her breathing which was burning in her lungs from overexertion as well as she saw pure hate in Ben's mind against the whole group of space pirates, as well as every single one who he had seen attack Rey through the fight. She blocked everything out, the screaming thoughts in her and his head as well as everything surrounding them, except for Ben and the two ships.  
She let out an infuriated scream while she finally felt this massive boost of power flow through her she already felt when they kissed in the situation room and the ship slowly started to tilt to the side into the direction of the other ship.  
Suddenly she felt a hot, sharp pain in her thigh and she knew she had been shot as her legs buckled under her weight from the burning sensation of the laser blaster.  
She yelped out and felt Ben's hand grab her arm, holding her in an upright position. "No! Feel it!" He yelled at her and hindered her with his grip from falling down.  
Then she heard Finn yelling her name somewhere in the distance, but Ben's voice was next to her again as she turned her head slowly around to him, face distorted by pain as she whimpered: "Ben...I can't anymore...it hurts too much." She wouldn't be able to concentrate on pulling the battleship down while her leg was giving up and she felt blinded by the pain which was crawling up her whole body right now.

Meanwhile, the ship which they tried to bring down trusted all its engines against their combined force power as she saw Ben's head turn away from the ships, eyes were fixed on her's and he whispered with such a calm deep voice, she nearly overheard it: "There is only the force. Set it free Rey."  
She blinked several times at his words, trying to comprehend them. Then she closed her eyes and concentrated on the pain radiating from her leg through her whole body, without fearing it anymore. As well on Ben's breathing next to her and suddenly she could hear his heartbeat through their bond too and it felt like as if the pain was somehow sucked away from her and her mind was completely clear once again.  
" _I am ready._ " She whispered into his mind and suddenly felt their force seep into each other to create something exceptionally new and powerful and she opened her eyes slowly to look forward as they together pulled the battleship down, letting it crash into the second one and they both combusted into a huge explosion as they were slowly descending down until they reached the ground and smashed into a million pieces directly in front of the hangar.  
The impact of the crashing ships was so huge she felt the ground shaking beneath her feet and the heat from the explosion burned on her face as she had to close her eyes from the bright light they produced. Then came a shockwave and she stumbled backwards the same moment her legs gave up again.

Not just, because the pain came back, but also because she suddenly felt utterly drained and exhausted by using the force excessively just seconds ago.  
Ben got a hold of her in an instant and they both crashed down into a seating position, as he sat behind her back, supporting her while he leaned over her shoulder, taking her naked, bleeding thigh into his left hand and reached with his other one out to a wall in the hangar to rip down a first aid kit, which flew over to them with a flick of his fingers.

He opened it hastily and pulled out some bacta bandages while his head was next to her ears and he mumbled: "This is the first time you've been shot, isn't it?"  
"Yes. This shit hurts!" She hissed out in pain, while he cleaned the wound in a practised way and instantly applied a bacta patch and bandages around her exposed leg in a matter of seconds, while he whispered with a somehow proud voice: "Rey you did extremely well right now. And yes, that shit hurts."  
Just after he said it Finn suddenly stood before them with a raised blaster against Ben as he screamed: "What the fuck did you do to her?  
She is in pain because of whatever you did!"  
"Finn stop! Put the blaster down!" She cried out as she didn't want the two men to fight.  
"You have no idea how the force works, yet you decide on judging it's usage." Ben answered visibly unfazed by Finn's raised gun while he gripped her hip as well as her thighs and swooped her up into his arms to carry her. She gasped for a second because pain shot through her leg again by the movement and she was surprised that he'd carry her at all. She took a grasp on his arm, to have a better hold somehow while she felt his fingers on her bare skin and he was sending her waves of reassurance through their bond, the way she had done when they were on the Falcon.  
Ben just started walking without looking at the former Stormtrooper anymore, while parts of the hangar where burning around them, as well as the huge fire of the destroyed ships in the background illuminated everything in a warm orange light.

"You fucking..." Finn started but was interrupted by Rey who was upset at his stubbornness right now. "Finn! I am alright okay! The enemy ships are gone, everybody is alive and I agreed to what we did!"  
Her best friend gave her a certain look she couldn't really get a grip on then glared at Ben with squeezed eyes and back to her as he finally put away his blaster and walked next to them as Ben carried her over to the other rebels in the direction of the medical room. The others looked at them with opened mouths as some yelled:  
"You just pulled two battleships out of the sky!"  
"You saved us!"  
"You are fucking heroes!"  
"You are insane!"  
Poe came running to them too now and blurted out while he was brandishing his blaster: "Man this was the fucking coolest shit I have ever seen! The explosion was SO BIG! And you two were just like wagging around with your hands and then BOOM! You should do that more often! And the fight! Rey when you threw your saber whoa! Freaking awesome!" Then he paused for a moment as he looked down at her thigh: "Oh Rey! Your leg looks fucked up. But nothing serious I guess?" He questiongly looked at Ben then. "Nothing serious, but unnecessary anyway." Ben answered with a frown.

Kelmar the doctor waited already for them with a slightly annoyed glance and rubber gloves in his hands: "Blaster wound?"  
"Yep." Ben and Rey simultaneously answered.  
"Come in." He ordered and opened the door, while he put the gloves on as they heard rebels cheering behind them already.

* * *

 **If anybody noticed:**  
 **Force melding itself is a light sided technique while using pain to strengthen yourself is a dark sided one. So when they both pulled the ships down from the sky at least Rey used both sides, while Ben used the light side.**  
 **Who knows where the quote _"There is only the force."_ comes from, Ben used when he tried to push Rey into using both sides? You'll get a virtual cookie if you know :)**


	29. Chapter 29: Understanding

**mtziggorot: Thank you for pointing that one out. I took a look at other fanfics from more experienced user's and saw how they organize the paragraphs.  
I tried to do this too this time and even liked it more than I normally write it. I hope it's easier to read now. Thanks again :) **

* * *

Ben carried Rey into the medical room, while Finn and Poe followed them. Finn was silent the whole time and glared at Ben, obviously trying not to insult him right now,  
while Poe was reciting the whole fight with energetic hand gestures as he was mostly enthralled by the huge explosion of the two ships.

The moment Rey was sat down on the hospital bed, she hissed out in pain by the movement and commented with gritted teeth at Poe,  
who now pondered how much fuel probably was needed to create an explosion this size:

"Stars Poe. You are a pyromaniac! This is an unhealthy obsession."

He instantly shut up by being scolded by her until Ben suddenly chimed in:

"It _was_ a nice explosion."

Rey turned her head in disbelief at him and saw him smirking just the slightest bit at Poe, while the pilot grinned like an idiot at this affirmation.  
Just great! They found a way to somehow connect. Over total destruction and explosions.  
If this wasn't the best foundation for a friendship she didn't know what else is. She thought sarcastically.

Kelmar who stood next to the group shook his head in annoyance but didn't comment their conversation. Instead, he ran a diagnostic on Rey's leg with his droid while he tested her movement and reflexes and injected her some painkillers. She gritted her teeth together as the wound burned and saw Ben staring at her exposed leg as if he was responsible for the injury.

"Is it bad?" Finn suddenly asked with concern in his voice. "Will she ever walk again?"

Everyone looked at Finn with knitted eyebrows, even the doctor as her friend obviously thought everything is much more serious than it actually was until Kelmar rubbed his forehead and answered reassuringly:

"It's just a blaster shot through the leg. As it was immediately patched up and bandaged with bacta, she didn't even lose much blood.  
It will be as good as new in two days."  
Then he paused and looked at the two force users with one raised eyebrow as he unravelled Ben's by now bloody arms under his bandages to stitch and renew them,  
until he grimaced:

"Also, you shouldn't really be drunk when fighting - Rey. Ben, you too. Your injuries are open again and I really don't have the nerve for such shit.  
Doubles my workload. And the usage of medical supplies. Do you have any idea how expensive bacta supplies are? This one here costs 150 credits.  
The bandages are 170 credits."

The doctor explained, but everyone but Ben just laughed a bit about his rambling about the costs.

Poe suddenly snorted as he had to hold his stomach from laughing: "You both were fucking drunk? I can't believe this shit!  
You hacked through I don't know - how many? Like 100 attackers! Then brought down two huge battleships just with holding your hands up doing your force thing,  
got shot and all of this while being drunk. Maker! You two are insane! This is even better than my drunk birthday stories!"

"It's not that we planned on fighting headhunters tonight..." Ben retorted as he rolled his eyes and flattened out his undershirt after Kelmar was done patching him up too. "Are there any survivors?" He questioned the pilot.

"I ordered the others to check exactly that at the moment. Got the feeling there are, we are going to interrogate them tonight about how they gained knowledge of this location. Can't let this happen again. If anybody else knows, we need to move...Once again."  
Poe informed them as he made a frustrated hand gesture at the thought of moving the base once more.

Ben nodded in acknowledgement and offered with a serious glance: "I can aid with the interrogation. Will be more effective to find the truth."

"Actually...I'll take this offer. After having first-hand experiences with your interrogation method, I _know_ how effective it is."  
The pilot suddenly snarled angrily at him and Rey felt uncomfortable as the two men never before talked about what Ben did to Poe when he took him prisoner back then.

But she knew Ben was right, the rebels could interrogate or even torture the survivors of the attack as much as they'd want to and they could still lie,  
just to buy time to get saved by even more headhunters who knew about the location. So they had to find out fast if they were the only ones who had the knowledge about it, or if there's a second wave of attackers already on their way to the planet.

"I'll go back to my room then and get some sleep. I feel seriously exhausted after all this. Finn? Would you like to help me get back?"  
Rey asked and looked pleadingly at the former Stormtrooper who seemed surprised that she asked him instead of Ben.

"Uhm. Yeah...yeah, of course, I'll do!" He blurted out and was next to Rey in an instant offering his arm to help her stand up.

Ben monitored the interaction between them both with a disgruntled face and she knew he was unreasonably jealous right now again, so she grinned at him as pulled her arm up to rake a hand through his hair for a second, which was wet from blood, grime and sweat so it fell in front of his eyes and she snickered with a blink at him:

"See you later."

He glanced at her with a frown and immediately brought a hand up to stroke his hair back again, while she turned around and supported herself on Finn's shoulder to leave the medical area with him.  
She knew Ben didn't like seeing her and the former Stormtrooper together, or her and Poe. Probably any human male actually.  
But he had to accept that she was friends with them and he seemed to start doing so. At least he didn't snap right now, which was some kind of progress at least.

While she limbed through the corridors back to her room with Finn, he started asking her carefully:

"So you...you really were okay with what he did? I mean, I saw you were in so much pain and he just forced you to keep on standing and doing this thing with the ships. Which yes - of course, was incredible and saved our asses. But he pressed you into doing it, you know?"

Rey pondered for some time before answering as they reached the door to her room, then she explained:

"Yes. I know he did. Of course, I am not okay at all with being forced to do things I don't want. But this was different. I was on the verge to give up because I thought,  
I couldn't take the pain anymore. But as much as I got to know him by now, he is someone who often has to react really fast and spontaneous to dangerous situations to ensure his, or in some cases our survival. You remember how he didn't flinch when he was being shot by Chewbacca?  
He told me it hurt a lot back then, but he doesn't give up as he just has to go on to ensure survival or to reach his goals.  
That's what he did right now with me. Ensure I'd help him crash the ships so we all will survive. We are both pretty exhausted from the fight actually,  
he too. We wouldn't have been able to fight off much more attackers. We would have lost the battle if we had to keep on fighting like that.  
So it was a do or do not situation and he took it. Knowing I wasn't lethally hurt and would pull through it easily.  
You saw how he immediately afterwards started to tend my wound after he knew it was over."

Finn opened the door to her room and brought Rey over to the bed, where he sat her down as he took a look around, seeing the books still lying on the bed,  
as well as his tunic and the two empty food bowls to which he made a grimace of disgust.

"I just saw your pained face while you screamed when he forced you to stand and I felt so enraged by this.  
It's still hard to have any trust in his actions. I am used to see him hurting others." Then Finn stopped for a second as he took one of the sacred Jedi books and asked:

"Are you...you two are translating the texts, don't you? Does he help you with it?"

Rey grinned and took the holopad, which laid between the books as she handed it over to Finn, but felt just the slightest bit embarrassed as he sat exactly at the spot on the bed, where Ben and she were making out heavily before the attack.

"Yep. Here take a look."

Finn took the holopad and scrolled through the translated texts as his eyes widened:

"Whoa, this is all stuff you could do someday? This is unbelievable! Wow! But...why does he actually help you with this?  
Doesn't he like, want the Jedi to die? He said so himself."

"Yeah. He wants them to die. As well as the Sith." Rey started but was interrupted by Finn.

"But he _is_ a Sith!"

"Haha no. Not at all. Snoke wanted him to become one by his training. He nearly succeeded in doing so, hadn't Ben decided against it to save me.  
Ben uses both sides of the force, as well as I do. Of course, he is so much more on the dark side, while I am more on the light side.  
But in the end, we use both sides.  
I guess he helps me because he likes to gain knowledge and power. To know what he, or actually we are capable of.  
He thinks both Jedi and Sith are wrong, their views obsolete and their rules have to die with them.  
I don't know exactly what he is planning in his mind with all of it, I just know he wants to be neither of these two."

Rey explained and thought about asking Ben someday, what he thinks what his plans for the future are when both gained the knowledge they need through the books, completing his knowledge gaps actually, while she can at least learn one side, while she maybe even doesn't want to learn too much about the dark side anyway.

"You use the dark side?"

Finn suddenly snapped as he sharply inhaled and looked at her with a confused glance.

"Yes. Not often though. I remember using it two times. When I saved Ben, I did something like a - uh he called it force scream - I think.  
He was on the verge of getting killed by these Deathtroopers and I seriously feared for his life, because he was so outnumbered and injured.  
So I somehow screamed at them and they all fell over as if I pushed them. And the second time was just right now.  
Gaining strength through pain and suffering. That's why he pounded into his wound back then on Starkiller Base when we fought against him.  
I don't know how this one is called, but he guided me through it and it worked, so I was able to keep on.  
But simultaneously we used a lightsided technique as we melded our powers together. So it kind of mixes together."

Rey illustrated to Finn what exactly they did today while she pondered about it herself.

"Uh...okay. This is sometimes hard to distinguish. I mean, if you use the dark or light side.  
I always thought using the dark side is really evil and people who do it are cold-hearted, bloody murderers who'd look like beasts in a rage mode when they use it."

Finn disclosed and shrugged his shoulders, looking questioningly at her.

"That's how Ben probably was the whole time, while Snoke controlled his every thought and abused him all these years."

She answered with a sad look, as she hadn't talked with Ben about most of what he lived through since he was taken as Snoke's apprentice,  
but she saw several fractions of his past. Some which he had shown her voluntarily and some she had seen just for a second when they touch and it was obvious at how he reacted to certain situations.

"He was abused by Snoke? But he had like the highest position in the First Order, together with Hux. He was allowed to command everyone.  
Nobody would have ever dared to raise his hand against him. Everyone was scared of him."

Finn commented with disbelief plastered all over his face.

"Nobody - but Snoke.  
Finn, I know you don't trust him, you don't like him, you think of him as an evil person.  
But I told you before, there are reasons, so unbelievably many reasons why he is like he is. This day, where we two fought in the throne room together,  
wasn't the first time he tried to end the connection he had with his former master. He tried it sometime before too and was attacked with lightning for it.  
His mind was tortured as he had to translate Sith texts for him for hours and days on, he was impelled to kill his father when he never wanted or planned to.  
Snoke was constantly roaming through his head and it drove him insane. This doesn't excuse all of his actions. Of course not.  
He still has an extremely radical and violent way of handling the future of the galaxy. But that certainly explains why he is like he is.  
But he is free of his master, he is at least for now away from all these generals who planned to kill him every day since he took over the position as Supreme Leader and he is changing so much. Or maybe not changing. Maybe just becoming who he was meant to be.  
Ben Solo, who he was before everything started to fall into darkness, back then in the Jedi Academy when Luke tried to kill him."

There was a pause, as Rey thought about if she says it or not, but she decided to as Finn seemed interested in Ben's behaviour right now.

"You know, I showed him our flat-holos we did together. He apologized to me that I had to worry about you because of his actions.  
He didn't say it, but I know he's thinking about apologizing to you too someday."

Finn shuffled around suddenly a little nervous and tense by hearing that, as it was obviously a topic which was really important to him as he had a huge grudge on Ben for hurting him and Rey on Starkiller Base and of course killing Han.

"He is? Oh...okay. Uhm. Wow. I don't know what to say to all of this. I mean, you already told me about him not being that 'bad' before.  
But I didn't know so much about him. This actually sounds really tragic somehow."

Finn stuttered as he put the holopad aside and looked at Rey with knitted eyebrows.

"No, he has much light in him. He isn't bad. But an asshole with violent tendencies towards his enemies anyway."

Rey grinned at her best friend, who huffed out and pulled her into an embrace as he mumbled:

"Thank you for explaining me all of this. I try to not threaten him with a blaster so often anymore. Can I help you with something? Does your leg still hurt?"

"No. Thank you, I am good Finn. I'll go into the fresher and then to sleep finally. My leg just feels kind of numb right now.  
Guess the painkillers are working wonders."

Rey answered and grinned at her friend reassuringly.

* * *

Some hours later Rey felt fresh again after she took a shower in the fresher, laid in her bed and tried to sleep,  
which didn't really work because she felt as if something was missing. Or actually someone.  
She turned around several times like she always did when she wasn't able to get any sleep and huffed out in annoyance.  
Suddenly Rey felt a tingling feeling on her skin and she knew Ben was about to come into the room and her smile couldn't be any bigger the moment the door opened and he stepped in. The room was nearly dark and it was hard to see anything, but she saw his form and he looked really exhausted by his slumped walk.

"You are still awake?"

He asked when he stepped in as he instantly started to pull off his clothing and draped it over the chair in the room.

"Hmmhm. I couldn't sleep. Were there any survivors? Did you interrogate somebody?"

Rey asked as she turned around to the side and propped herself up on her elbow to watch him while her face became a little red in the darkness,  
seeing him getting undressed.

"Yup. Three survivors. One of them, you cut off both his feet." Ben snorted at that as if it was funny.  
"The attackers were a closed clan of space pirates and headhunters. They saw the broadcast by the First Order and decided to search for planets in the Outer Rim who might be used as a base. They just had luck they found us here.  
They acted on their own account and nobody else knows about it, as they wanted to have the bounty for themselves of course.  
Which means, there is nobody else following after them."

Ben explained as Rey heard him step into the fresher too. Stars he was naked in there she just realized and groaned suddenly at the knowledge of this.

"Okay. That's at least a little comforting. What about them now? Are they imprisoned?"

Rey asked a little louder, so he'd hear it over the sound of the running water.

"No."

He plainly answered without further explanation and she didn't even have to ask why they were not imprisoned, as she just stated:

"Because you killed them."

There was a pause, where he didn't answer, but after some time she heard:

"Leia is angry at me. But it's plain stupid and dangerous to let them stay here. If they'd escape, contact somebody else or attack anybody, then it was all for nothing."

The water kept running as she heard him still under the fresher and she pondered about what he just said. Did it make sense to let them live?  
Today she killed so many people already, why did she care about these three suddenly?  
Why did she have the urge to let them live, just because they are prisoners?  
Of course, they'd take any chance they could get to escape or contact others to help them, the same she would too if she would be imprisoned.  
There wasn't really anything she could say against it, except for swinging with the moral club around.  
But she didn't like to do it as she knew his action might prove to be their rescue someday, as well as him forcing her to use her power today like she did, was.

He was done in the fresher and came out with just a towel around him and again she groaned and turned around to not face him anymore as she didn't want to see him naked right now, not having the nerve to get aroused at the moment, but just wanted him to come over already so they'd be able to sleep next to each other.

"Relax. I am getting dressed."

He uttered and a moment later she felt the bed slightly budging as he sat next to her and brushed his hand over her hip while she laid on the side,  
away from him as he asked:

"How does your leg feel?"

She turned her head a bit around to him and saw that he was indeed dressed, at least in boxers and his undershirt, while she still laid away from him and answered:

"It's just numb. But I don't feel any pain right now. Are you alright?"

"Good. Yes, I am. Just really exhausted and waiting for approval to sleep beside this ridiculously powerful woman, -  
who pulls ships down from the sky in her panties, which made me fall in love all over again."

He grinned at her with the biggest smirk she had ever seen on his face until now and she too had to laugh at that as it really was ridiculous how she fought today in her panties but still managed together with him to save the base. Also, again he told her, he fell in love with her which made her heart beat faster and her stomach tingle with luck and happiness.

"Stars Ben. You are an ass. But a fucking loveable one. Come on already!"

Rey snorted out, pulled her blanket up and pulled him down to her as they both instantly embraced each other and entwined their bodies,  
while he watched out to not touch her wounded thigh.  
He was now the one, who had his head on top of hers, his body protectively curled around hers, as he kissed her forehead and she fell asleep in his arms in a matter of seconds as he did too.

* * *

 **Ben and Poe finding something they both like: Explosion and destruction. They'll be BFFs forever.**  
 **Also, Finn again trying to understand Ben, maybe it works this time.**  
 **Were was Rose actually the whole time? Sleeping? Nobody knows.**


	30. Chapter 30: They can fly!

**Did I really use 7 chapters to describe just one day? I just counted. Yes, I did. The other chapters before had a span which went over weeks or months when Ben and Rey just connected via forcetime.  
But right now, every detail seems so important suddenly, so yes everything get's stretched :)  
mileni-chan: Thanks for the compliment again. It seems like a part of your review is missing in the end?**

* * *

This morning Rey was the first to wake up, just to find her face pressed into Ben's wide chest as he had an arm draped around her side while she had her injured leg comfortably resting on his hip. Luckily her leg felt much better and as Kelmar said, it would probably be fully healed tomorrow.  
Ben breathed silently and she felt his heartbeat next to her ear, while she closed her eyes again and nuzzled her head deeper into him to which he groaned a bit and shuffled around which made the blanket fall down from the bed.

Great. Now she had to move to pick it up, she thought and tried to turn around without waking him up.  
Just when she was halfway around and laid on her back to pull the blanket up with the force, his eyes suddenly snapped open panicky and with a flick of his fingers,  
he had his lightsaber in one hand while the cover still levitated over them where she stopped it with a yelp in surprise by his sudden movement.

He let his head fall down in relief as soon as he saw what she did and groaned out while he put the saber away next to him and mumbled: "...Fuck."

Her mouth was agape as she thought he'd attack her, but her brain started to add everything together and she let the blanket fall over them again as she breathed out:

"You thought Luke was hovering over you when you felt me using the force and saw the shadow of the cover, didn't you?"

He didn't answer for a while but stared up at the ceiling, then turned around to face her and laid his hand on her side,  
as he kissed her arm in an apologizing way and muttered against her skin:

"Yes. I am sorry. I didn't want to scare you."

"You did a little, but I understand it. I'll never use the force again while you sleep. I am sorry."

She apologized too and brushed his hair aside while their eyes searched each other as she whispered:

"I think when we sleep next to each other, this is the safest we can ever be. Two bonded force users sensing everything that's happening around them?  
Best defence against everything!"

"That's probably why we can sleep that well. And why we overslept."

He answered as his thumb drew small circles on her hip, which made her stomach tickle with excitement and her legs shift a bit under the blanket.  
When he said they overslept, maker knows how he was able to feel they did, her body suddenly jolted up and she pressed out:

"Overslept? What? How long? We've got to stand up!"

Rey shuffled away from the bed and stood up suddenly as he watched her move around hastily, while he supported himself on his elbow.

"Don't know how long, but I am certain we did."

He answered as his eyes followed her moving around, pulling her clothes together. Just when she was about to pull off her bigger sleeping shirt to get into her normal clothes again, she hesitated for a moment as she remembered that she did wear nothing under it and he was watching her.  
Her head turned around to him and she grinned for a second until she said with a shrug of her shoulders:

"You'll see them anyways someday, so - who cares?"

Rey pulled off her sleeping shirt and stood there bare-chested as she pulled her white tunic over her head to get dressed.  
She saw Ben watching her with interest first, then his eyes widened as he mouthed a surprised: "Oh."  
And he blinked several times while she pulled the fabric over her body again. Just when she was about to wrap together, he stopped her and broke in:

"Wait! I didn't see them long enough!"

She stopped in her movement and slowly walked over to sit on the edge of the bed, while she let her hands glide away from the tunic and it fell open again,  
while she sneered with a grin:

"Of course, you didn't."

Ben still laid on his side, supporting himself on his elbow as she sat in front and he pulled one hand up to her opened tunic as he slowly slipped it to the side to reveal her breasts again and she heard him inhaling sharply the moment he saw them.  
Suddenly she felt excited too, even if she didn't before when she changed and she saw his hand gliding away from the fabric to her upper stomach where he pointed two fingers out which he brushed over her skin, which had already formed goosebumps by his electrifying touch.

Then he slid his hand upwards and reached the curved form of her breast, which he followed with his fingertips until he nearly got to her armpit,  
from where he trailed back until he reached her hardened nipple. Over which he too glided so delicately she had to let out a long-drawn-out, deep hum,  
as this was the first time he touched her there with both their skin exposed and the sensation sent sizzling waves through her body.  
It felt suddenly really intense and apart from it feeling extremely arousing, more so over she had a deep feeling of trust and secureness which they both shared and she knew there won't be any moment where she would ever feel embarrassed for anything regarding her body, because just from how he was handling it as well as how he was looking at her, she knew he was worshipping it as if she was something holy, just to be touched with the utmost respect.

"This is perfection."

He simply stated as he let his fingers glide away from her nipples to again draw along the curve of her breast. Then he seated himself up as he reached out with both his hands, closed her tunic and knotted it together on the side as she usually does, while he gave her a soft kiss on the lips and pulled back again.  
She watched this whole scene with amazement, as he appeared to be so mesmerized by seeing her like this.  
She, on the other hand, was just so interested in watching his reaction that she just kept on following his eyes the whole time,  
until she was suddenly half dressed by him without really paying attention to it as her glance lingered on his face.

"This was intense...Once again."

She stammered out and couldn't bring herself to stand up again as she grinned like an idiot at him, while his brown eyes searched hers.  
They looked different than they did over all these months she had known him by now.  
Normally he often had anger or a look like some caged animal in them, but not now, they were somehow warmer, more at ease and calm.  
She knew something about him was changing for the better and she hoped he felt it too.

Suddenly he stood up and jumped out of the bed as he pulled her up into a deep, but short kiss and then started to get dressed too while he handed over her pants which still laid on the floor.  
Rey pulled them on and watched him put on his clothes as well. Stars, he was dashing whatever he wore. He could be half naked, as well as fully clothed in his usual black attire and she couldn't keep her eyes off him and she suddenly understood how he perceived her body as perfect as she too thought the same thing about him.

When they both were done, they nodded at each other as he suggested:

"Let's observe the damage and get updated on our current situation. Chandrila and Coruscant surely have a decision by now, how they'll face the First Order.  
As well as your rebel friends might have worked out weak point to Starkiller Base II."

They both left her room and walked next to each other through the corridors until Rey asked:

"Do you think the New Republic will finally fight the First Order?"

"No."

He plainly stated with a grim face as he crossed his hand behind his back.

"Why not?"

She asked a little perplex at his absolutely confident answer regarding that topic, as she thought and hoped the New Republic would finally stand up against the First Order, after hearing the news of two-thirds of their fleet being destroyed as well as their former leader somehow deflecting to the Resistance,  
as well as them being informed that Starkiller Base is currently not functioning for a certain amount of time.  
So the best time to do a counterattack would be exactly right now.

Ben was quiet for some steps as they met several rebels on their way who suddenly changed their rude behaviour from the day before, where they glared at them - to a cheerful smile, while some even thanked them for what they did yesterday night.  
He didn't react to any of the acknowledgements but more so over, waited until they were finally done to keep on walking with her.  
Eventually, he answered:

"Because they had this chance years ago already and never took it. They never stood up for their people. They don't have a real military force,  
which would be able to withstand the First Order. Because they still earn money from the chaos in the outer regions with all the deals I haven't yet revealed.  
They are feared of taking a step forward, they fear the First Order. They would rather silently bow and sell out their people,  
instead of taking a stand. As I said before. Most politicians don't have a spine."

Rey felt her heart sink into her boots as she heard his words and they reached the hangar, while she hoped to hear better news than the ones Ben predicted right now.  
The dead bodies of the space pirates were all gone, as well as the puddles of blood. But all of the three ships remained, one intact,  
two completely destroyed somewhere behind the hangar.  
Everyone was working either on the destroyed ship or the hangar which started to burn at some places yesterday and was partly destroyed.  
Somehow it also looked as if it wasn't morning anymore.  
Rey saw Leia, Finn, Poe and Rose standing next to the Millenium Falcon as they discussed something over a holopad Leia held in her hands and Rey nodded at Ben as they both decided to walk over.  
When they both approached, the heads of her friends turned around to them and at least Rose and Poe smiled at the two force users.

"Hey, sleepyheads! Finally fell out of your bed?" Poe greeted them with a toothy grin.

"How late is it actually? And what did we miss? And sorry, we were freaking exhausted after yesterday I guess."

Rey asked as she looked at them all with a puzzled glance and noticed Ben glaring at his mother resentfully.  
Then she suddenly remembered him telling her yesterday that his mother was angry at him for killing off the three prisoners after interrogating them.  
His mother stared back at him too until she closed her eyes and sighed:

"Ben, I had a lengthy discussion with Mr Dameron here this morning. He tried to sell me _shit_ by convincing me that Kelmar told you about medical supplies being so expensive and rare, thus it making sense to not use them on our enemies, but instead use them for our own people.  
I know why you killed them and actually...kriff it. I don't care anymore. One problem less to care about right now."

Poe looked a little guilty, but also proud, while Ben's eyes darted from Poe to his mother with a puzzled glance, without answering, but obviously a bit relieved to not have to argue about that topic again. Then Leia continued:

"To answer your questions Rey: It is already 14:00 standard time and it absolutely understandable and okay you took your time.  
You two pulled off a huge thing yesterday and saved all of us. The base would be destroyed and we'd be all dead, or at least hostages right now.  
So yes, you two certainly deserved to have a damn good sleep as long as you needed.  
And yes you missed a few things regarding the answers of the other..." Leia stopped suddenly as there were loud scratching and squeaking noises behind her.

Everyone stared at the point from where the noise came, which was somewhere in the hull of the Millenium Falcon next to them.  
Suddenly a metal plate detached itself and a Porg fell down from the hole and landed on the ground while chirping angrily.

"Ben! Look!"

Rey yelled out and dashed forward to pick up this little mammal with both hands to hold it up into the air.  
Ben glanced at her and the animal with such a disgust as if he was about to vomit any second.  
Then she pushed it forward directly in front of his chest and motioned him to hold it.

"Look! This is a porg! I told you about them. They are so sweet! Here take it!"

"No. This is disgusting."

He answered while he folded his arms in front of his chest and eyed the small creature with disdain.  
Rose started to giggle and leaned forward to have a better view of their interaction, while Leia and Poe also smiled and Finn just stood there with knitted eyebrows.

"Aww come one Ben! Look at its eyes! Tell me it's not the sweetest thing in the galaxy!" Rey beamed at him while pushing it further into his direction.

 _"Thwaaak. Braraaaa!"_ The Porg cried out and wobbled its small wings around.

Ben stared at Rey as if he would explode any second and set the animal on fire until he reached out with his hand into the Porg's direction and Rey already started grinning as he was obviously about to take it. But instead, he flicked his finger and the Porg was shot out of her hands with the force and flew so far out of the hangar she nearly wasn't able to see it anymore as it somehow flew about 100 feet high into the air while it constantly chirped and whistled on its way.

"BEN! NOOOOO! You killed it!" Rey suddenly screamed as she still saw the Porg being flung away by his force push.

"No - look!"  
Rose pointed at it and shielded her eyes from the sun as the animal wobbled around with his small wings in the air somewhere afar.

"It can fly!"  
Finn pointed out with an open mouth, also shielding his eyes.

Ben couldn't take it anymore and clasped his hand against his forehead as he rubbed his scar in an annoyed gesture and commented sarcastically:

"Ok. Awesome. Rats can apparently fly. I am _so delighted_ we were able to find that out.  
Let's get back to just slightly more important topics, like how the galaxy is getting enslaved right now and how the New Republic is facing this new threat."

Everybody turned around to him and Leia opened her mouth to answer, but another Porg fell out of the same hole the first had one opened and plopped onto the ground with a squeaking noise.  
Ben growled angrily and reached out with his hand to open the ramp of the Falcon and used the force on something inside.  
Suddenly Rey heard metal clinking everywhere, chirping and about 20 Porgs flew out of the ship and were force pushed as far away by him as the first one.  
All the other rebels in the hangar now looked at them, because of the loud squeaking of the animals and watched them being shot into the distance until they also started to fly as the first one, as others now too pointed at the sky and yelled in surprise: "They can fly!"

"Stars! This fucking piece of junk!"

Ben barked out and folded his arms again in front of his chest, while everybody stared at him in shock.  
Leia also looked at him with widened eyes until she scolded him:

"Ben Solo! This was your father's 'piece of junk'!"

"Yes. And you know damn well why I call it like that!"

He growled back at his mother and she gave him a bitter look while it seemed like they didn't have this conversation the first time.  
Suddenly Poe walked between them and shook his head while he pulled his hands up in defence and tried to reconcile them:

"Well okay, you two. Maybe you'd like to save this talk for later in private. Actually, Rey wanted to know what she missed.  
So, yeah the New Republic...They are not going to help us. They are too scared the First Order will use Starkiller Base II, after they witnessed - as everybody else did - how they destroyed the Hosnian system. So...apparently they just give up and we won't be getting any support."

Everybody ducked their heads down defeated, while Ben huffed out in disgust at the spineless republic, while Rey inhaled sharply as everything exactly happened like Ben predicted, while she had her hopes still high up all the time.

"Stars...This is horrible. And fucked up. Forsaking their people like that. They get paid for protecting their nation. Phew. Okay. So anything else?  
Did anybody find a weak spot at Starkiller Base II?"

Rey questioned with disappointment, while she kicked a small pebble away.

"No, we didn't find a weak point by now. The file is massive - by the way, nice idea calling it 'hope' Ben, really dramatic and all - so we need some time to dig through all of it.  
But - here it comes Rey - I got at least some good news: You said there'd be revolts coming and you might be right about that. We had lots of messages incoming from groups of people who want to support us locally, from their different planets. They don't believe in the government anymore after the politicians not reacting to the destruction of most of the First Order fleet and want to take matters into their own hands. They already formed groups and started to arm themselves, as well as acquire ships and want us to guide them, bring them together, give them a plan."

Poe grinned at Rey and patted her shoulder, while Ben glared at him after his comment regarding the file's name.  
But then he seemed to look interested again after hearing about the people forming resisting groups.

"About how many groups and people are we talking right now?"

Rey asked as she was really surprised about this course of events.

"Thousands to ten-thousands probably. We have to check in with all of them, to find out if they are legit and if we can trust them.  
But this is no coincidence. People have enough and are fucking pissed at their government everywhere.  
The revolution is coming and we are the spark that will light the fires everywhere throughout the galaxy."

* * *

 **Ben was totally mesmerized by Rey's beeewbs. Of course, he was, boobs are awesome!  
Poe, your tendency to burn things down is showing again.  
Also: Porgs! And Ben trying to kill them, but failing at it. Did he knew they'd be able to fly? Who knows?**


	31. Chapter 31: Monster

**littleluny: Nope I guess you have to wait just little bit more. I like teasing, makes it just so much more thrilling the whole time :)**

* * *

"Ten-thousands of people ready to revolt against the First Order? This is incredible! Did we already start to check in with all these groups?"

Rey asked very excitedly suddenly and beamed at Poe and Leia, then Ben, who also looked like he was really surprised by this information.

"Yes, we already sent lots of rebels to different planets since this morning to meet with the other revolutionaries. Actually, Finn, Poe and Rose here are also being sent to a planet right now, I was just briefing them. And you two are being sent to Chandrila to meet the people there. There's the biggest known group by now as well as allegedly two force sensitives wanting to join. People on Coruscant also called us, but they are currently being occupied by another First Order fleet, so we're going there incognito and try to get people to fight against them as they already did on Chandrila."

Leia answered with a warm smile and patted her hand on Rey's shoulder as she continued:

"Maybe Ben likes to tell you some things about Chandrila while you are there. Show you some places and such."

Ben's eyes darted with a frown to his mother, while he folded his arms behind his back and huffed out in disbelief.  
Rey didn't know why Leia said this as well as why Ben reacted like that. Was it because he killed these corrupt senators there?  
But why should he then show here some places? She didn't understand this, but will surely ask Ben later about it.  
And there are two force sensitives? What did sensitive mean? Are they able to use the force, or a just be sensitive to it, like Maz Katana is?

"Two force sensitives? Wow, that sounds so exciting! I can't wait to meet them. When shall we depart?"

Rey asked totally thrilled as she took a hold of Ben's arm and grinned at him, while he just looked down at her with a reserved face.

"Right now actually. As soon as you packed everything. You should both mask yourself to hide your identities. There will certainly be bounty hunters on the planet."  
Leia answered and nodded at them both.

* * *

Several hours later Rey and Ben sat in a small Resistance ship and were on their way to Chandrila. There was barely enough space for two people and some of their things, like food, clothes and medical equipment and they had to sit back against back and pilot the ship together.  
They never piloted a ship together and it worked overwhelmingly well. They didn't have to talk about anything the other one was about to do,  
as they already did everything simultaneously and with the same ideas behind every action at the same moment as if their minds were deliberately connected.  
Rey was wondering how well this would even work when they are situated in a space battle. Surely they'd be incredible together and she was sure they'd find out soon.

When they jumped to lightspeed and were able to relax while waiting until they reached the planet, Rey took off her seatbelt and turned around so she could see him,  
but wasn't able to stand up, due to the ships small size. He had his head turned sideways, leaning against the pilot's chair and glanced at her with raised eyebrows as if he knew what she was going to ask.

"Ben? Why did your mother say that about Chandrila? I am aware there's often stuff from your past going on between you two, that I don't know off.  
But she said you should show me some things there. What did she mean?"

"She said that because I was born on Chandrila and we lived there for some time. She wanted me to show you where...we...lived."

Ben explained with a dejected voice where he emphasized the word 'we' as if he didn't like talking about his family as a union,  
which it absolutely was not any more of course and his eyes darted away from hers as soon as he mentioned it.

Rey's eyes widened as she heard this and she inhaled sharply while she grabbed his hand from the side and asked:

"Chandrila is your birthplace? Wow! I would really love to see where you lived before! Will you show it to me? I am sure we have enough time for this!"

"No."

He plainly answered and pulled his hand away from hers as he looked forward into space and the moving stars, which were formed into long stripes of light by the speed their ship was moving.

"Why not?"

She pleaded him with a stern glace, hoping he would look at her again and not sink into this deep dark place, where he would stop talking to her.

"It's an unimportant detail from my past and there is no need to dwell on it."

Ben answered with a cold voice and still didn't look at her. Rey leaned back with a huff and folded her arms in front of her chest as she knew what he meant by that.  
There it was again 'Let the past die'.  
He hated his past and didn't want to experience it with her, didn't want to show what it meant to be Ben Solo before he fell to the dark side.  
Obviously, she had to accept it, as she couldn't force him to show it to her, as well as it would be awkward and not as nice as Leia probably imagined it in her mind.  
Ben showing Rey happily the garden with the swing set he played on as a toddler, while they jump hand in hand through the high grass was absolutely not going to happen and she should have known better about it. So she just shut up and didn't press him anymore.

They flew for two more hours and changed the topic abruptly from his birthplace to the upcoming meeting with the other 'revolutionaries' as Leia had called them and they decided to make a plan on how to work with the people and to take their time with the force sensitives. Ben was suddenly in a better mood and she had the feeling he was even just the slightest bit excited to meet the two allegedly force sensitive people, which she was too as she thought Ben and her were the only ones right now.

They landed the ship in a secluded area in a forest nearby the city, where they wanted to meet the others and then they got dressed in the clothes they brought to not get recognized.  
They consisted of long robes, which would hide their body forms as well as scarves and visors and goggles for their faces, so they could disguise themselves.  
Rey's whole outfit was in a white/grey, while Ben's was of course completely black.  
This look resembled the attire he wore when she met him the first time in Takodana immensely and she had to stare at him for some time until he stated,  
as if he had read her mind:

"You have the same caged animal look right now, you had on Takodana."

"Yes. Because you look nearly exactly like you looked when you chased me through the woods. I thought you'd kill me.  
I don't know...not seeing your face, it kind of scared me and it still feels not right. Actually, I like seeing your face. A lot."

Rey admitted while she stared at the black visor not being able to see how he reacted to anything she just said.  
Ben took some steps forward and she realized he looked unbelievably menacing like that again until he stood directly in front of her and pulled the visor up,  
as well as the scarf down, while he slipped his other arm around her torso and pulled her into him.  
She looked up at his eyes while being pressed against his chest and he wore such a big smile on his face, all the tension from seeing him like that instantly fell off her as he bent down and caught her lips in a loving kiss and her breathing seemed to stop while he pushed a memory into her mind:

 _The scene was from Takodana, where he followed her through the woods. She could practically see everything out of his eyes,  
watching herself running away from him while she shot with the blaster in his direction and he deflected every shot._  
 _Suddenly she even heard the thoughts he had specifically at this moment:_

 _"Stars...she is so bad at shooting. Did nobody teach her how to hold a blaster right? I must freeze her, so she'll finally stop this bantha shit."_

 _Ben, back then still Kylo Ren stopped Rey in her movement and walked forward to take a look at her, while his head went up and down to take her appearance in.  
Again she could hear his thoughts._

 _"So this is the scavenger girl...She is really just a girl. She is so...fascinating? So much power and resolve in her eyes. Are they green and brown?  
Stars, they are. I have never seen this before. She has so many freckles, probably sunkissed by Jakku's sun. I wonder how her life on this planet was.  
Probably lonely and hard to survive. But she must be strong if she did until now.  
How did she come into this whole mess, when she is just a scavenger? What is her name actually?  
Something about her must be special. What is she thinking?_  
 _She seems scared. I won't hurt her. Does she think I'll hurt her? I won't. I just need this map. Stars, why is she looking at me like that?_  
 _What is this feeling? There is something more. My fingertips are burning. I never had this sensation. What would happen if my fingertips would touch hers?_  
 _Would I be able to understand what this sizzling feeling is? Why is she causing this? This is not normal. She certainly hates me right now.  
But that's okay, everyone does._ _I am sorry scavenger girl, don't be scared, I just need the map. Please don't hate me, I won't hurt you. Sleep now."_

 _Then she fell unconscious and her body slumped together, but he caught her and pulled her into his arms, as he carried her bridal style through the woods._

The memory ended and he pulled away from her lips, as he still grinned at her and even looked just the slightest bit shy as if he revealed a part about him, which he didn't like to admit because it made him look weak. It certainly showed him in such an other light as she thought back then in the forest. She thought he had a pure kill intent when he chased her, but obviously, this wasn't the case at all. He even told himself three times that he won't hurt her and begged her to not hate him. Even if she didn't hear it.  
Obviously, he already cared about how she thought about him and that she shouldn't be too scared of him back then.

"Wow...Ben. I can't believe what you just showed me. This is what was going on in your head? It's incredible. I really thought you wanted to kill me back then.  
I didn't know you thought like that. Actually...actually it sounds like you already started to fall in love with me back then. Or at least felt some kind connection between us. And did you seriously carry me all the way back to the ship? I didn't know that! Finn just told me he somehow saw you with me, but not enough to see what happened.  
You must have carried me for some time through the forest then. This is somehow strange and sweet - if you observe it from today's perspective at least!"

Rey breathed out against his lips and looked up at his brown eyes, who were darting back and forth between hers and started to glisten just the slightest bit until he answered in a low voice:

"Yes. That's what I was thinking the first time I saw you. The day you thought of me as a monster. I felt our connection but didn't understand it.  
Thinking back, you might be right about falling in love already. At least you nearly slipped out of my arms, because I was suddenly so excited that my hands started trembling when I caught you, as so much of your memories transferred to my mind. Somehow I didn't want to let you go, feeling this familiar energy you radiated when I carried you and didn't want any stormtrooper to handle you crudely. So yes, I carried you back to the ship."

"Oh, Ben...This is in your own twisted way so freaking romantic and sweet!  
You should have said so before, we could have had a nice chat there in the forest instead. Maybe I would have let you touch my fingertips already back then."

Rey smirked cheekily at him and pushed herself up on her tiptoes to kiss him again, while he still smiled down at her.

"Because this certainly would have worked given the circumstances we were in."

Ben remarked sarcastically while he rolled his eyes at her suggestion.

"Oh it certainly would have, if you've said please and had taken off your mask, so I could see this absolutely stunning, beautiful face, with these unbelievably tasty lips,  
this black hair I like most when I ruffled through it so it looks messy, these deep brown eyes, which look like they know everything about me and these two incredibly sweet slightly crooked teeth you show when you are smiling."

Rey purred and brushed her fingertips over everything she just listed, while his eyes followed the movement of her fingers.  
Once again she felt her heart beating so fast as they stared at each other for the longest of times, feeling so lovestruck she wondered if he too felt like she did right now.  
At least he said his hands trembled when he touched her the first time, so she knew he could be nervous around her, even if he would never admit it.  
Her breathing hitched as her legs suddenly started to feel a little wobbly by his staring and again she wondered how this man's presence can bring everything about her mind and her body in such an ecstatic state that she was totally lost in him.

While his eyes darted back and forth again after she told him all these things and his smile faded, he suddenly backed off and pulled his scarf up,  
as well as his visor down and stated plainly:

"Let's go!"

"You are just SO bad at taking compliments, Ben. Seriously."

Rey bickered and walked beside him, as she too pulled up her scarf and the spectacles down. Suddenly they both were two unrecognizable figures walking next to each other through the forest as she already saw the beginning of the city in the distance. The revolutionaries would wait for them about one hour of footwalk away in some kind of factory and she was absolutely excited to meet them. The attire she wore reminded her a bit of the days she was scavenging on Jakku, shielding her face from the sand as well as the sun with some cloth and goggles too.

"I'll use the force to slightly alter their minds and cloak our presence. They will still see us, but forget about us in a matter of seconds."

Ben suddenly stated while they entered the city, which was called Hanna city.  
Rey nodded and looked around with an open mouth, which was of course hidden by her scarf, as she had never been to such a big city.  
Everywhere people passed by in a hasty manner, some stared at them for a second, then kept on walking as if they hadn't seen anything.  
There were blinking lights and advertisements everywhere, music from bars, shopping districts, skyscrapers and so many other things Rey just saw on holo-videos until now.  
Sometimes she had to stop for a second to take the view in but kept on walking instantly to not lose Ben in the crowd who walked forward with confident steps,  
as he obviously exactly knew where they were going.

She walked closer to him as the streets were getting even more crowded and they had to press through the people until Ben growled:

"Fuck, today is market. I forgot. Let's walk this way."

Then he pulled out his hand and motioned Rey to link arms with him, which she gladly did as the people started to press them apart, while he just walked through all of them pushing them away with his pure strength and body size as they sometimes looked at the dark hooded figure with a shocked face, but instantly kept on chattering as soon as they were through the masses. Finally, they reached a smaller alley with not so many people anymore and he relaxed, as well as Rey did because she feared the whole time to somehow get recognized, even if they were hidden.

"Wow, I've never been to such a big city with so many people in one space. This is somewhat frightening, but also fascinating at once.  
How'd you know there's a market? I didn't see any."

Rey asked and kept on being linked to his arm, not because they needed to, but just because she liked it.

"The market is further down the street, you can't see it from here. I knew because I went there as a child all the time when Han dragged me there to make his 'deals' with people on the street. Mostly about smuggling their wares from someplace else to here. Most of the sold goods are illegal but are being tolerated by corrupt police officers.  
He always said I brought him luck when I was with him."

Ben suddenly explained and she could hear from his voice that he spat this story out with disgust.

"Why did he think, you brought him luck? Dragging a child to illegal smuggling deals doesn't sound like something you should have been part of."

Rey asked as she squeezed his arm, knowing he didn't like to talk about this, but did it anyway right now because she asked interestedly.

"Because I truly did bring him luck. I altered the minds of his business partners unknowingly with the force. As a child, I thought I needed to help my father.  
I thought what he did was good for our family. So every time we went out, I looked at the people he was talking to, wishing they would accept his ridiculous deals,  
or wouldn't try to shoot him. Years later I found out, I made them act in his favour because I forced them to."

Ben explained and she could feel him getting tense again. Obviously, this topic was one of the many which riled him up about his father and every time she heard something new, she understood where his torn feelings about Han came from. Dragging his child along while making deals with people who might shoot them, with wares that are illegal and probably bring harm to people who buy them, is absolutely not something a good father would do. Rey knew it was a dangerous game to play, as he already said he didn't want to dwell on his past, but right now he seemed open to tell some parts of it, so she decided to keep asking as she really was interested in learning more about him:

"What about your mother? Didn't she do something against it? Did she knew he took you with him?"

Ben stopped for a second and looked at her through his visor, then let go off her arm and she knew he was about to shut himself out of the conversation and wants to change the topic:

"No, she did not. I lived by either one of them as they got separated early.  
If we follow this street and turn left we should find the factory.  
I want you to be on alert because this could be a trap as well it can be a chance if the people who contacted your friends speak the truth."

Rey nodded and silently mumbled:

"Thank you, Ben. For sharing this."

Ben tensed a little again but strode forward the way he told her before while she followed him silently.  
Between all these high buildings suddenly a factory came in sight with several big chimneys towering above the roofs. It had red brick walls and looked like it was currently in service as there were people coming in and going out with big transport trolleys.  
As they approached the building Rey saw that the workers, as well as droids, were producing fabrics of many different colours and she was amazed at how many nuances and different patterns they had.

"So Leia said, we should approach this door over there and say: 'May the force be with you.' and they'll know it's us.  
Stars I hope it's not a hall full of headhunters waiting for us. But actually, I don't feel any hostile people right now. Do you?"

Rey asked and looked over at Ben, while they neared the door.

"No."

He answered and she knew he was in deep concentration while he clutched his lightsaber already, for the case they'd get attacked anyway.  
Rey rung a bell and waited for some time until one woman opened the door and looked at them with a raised eyebrow.

"May the force be with you."

Rey said a little unsure as it suddenly sounded stupid without saying anything else like 'Hello' or 'We are here to start a revolution'.  
The woman seemed unfazed by what Rey just said until she snarled:

"Reveal yourselves."

Rey was a little surprised at this, as she thought they just had to say this sentence and everything will be alright, they'd be let in to meet the others.  
But she shrugged her shoulders and was about to pull off her scarf as the woman obviously also wanted to be sure it's really them,  
but Ben stopped her hand with his, as he hissed out:

"No. We will. After you reacted accordingly to what she just said."

The woman stared at him for some time, clicked her tongue in annoyance and yelled something over her back in another language while she kept standing at the door.  
A male voice from somewhere else answered in the same language, Rey couldn't understand, but they both sounded nervous or angry.  
Rey suddenly started to feel nervous too and she could feel Ben's energy radiating in angry waves around him, as he balls his fists on both sides of his cape next to where she knew his lightsaber was and suddenly everything felt really tense. Maybe they really walked right into a trap.  
Then they heard footsteps approaching and she too placed her hand next to her lightsaber, just in case.  
A man appeared in the doorframe and the breath she was holding in the whole time suddenly left her lungs in relief as she yelled out surprised:

"Jorspen! You?"

The man smiled at her, then looked for a second at Ben who shuffled around a bit and glanced at Rey, probably surprised or warily but she couldn't see his face,  
so she just nodded at him to show that everything was indeed all right. The man who just approached them was the same senator,  
Leia had secretly contact to when the First Order under Ben's command, occupied the planet to sort out the corrupt politicians.  
Then Jorspen told the woman something in the language they talked before and she nodded and went away, while he opened the door completely and held out his arm, motioning for them to come inside, while he said:

"It's good to have you two here. Come in Rey. You too...Ben. I guess you don't remember my face."

"Who are you? From where should I remember your face?"

Ben asked still warily, while they slowly followed the man through the corridors of the building and went downstairs.

"Rey knows me. General Organa too. I was a senator in the galactic senate for years. You occupied the planet and executed the other politicians.  
I was in contact with your general during the occupation, informing her about what was happening the whole time.  
I saw what you did. I saw how you tried to protect the others from your Order. And I saw the murder of the politicians you picked out.  
I also heard the deeds they had done when you ordered your stormtroopers to read them out loud to us on the Senate Plaza before the execution.  
Actually...this was the day I quit my job. Not because I was scared to be hunted down too. But because I wasn't aware just how corrupt the Senate was.  
As well as I realised that the other's will never lift a finger against the First Order. The planet is doomed to be ruled by this new force.  
I needed another way to fight this and I knew it wouldn't work as a politician. It had to be coming from the people, the underground.  
From people who still believe in their freedom. Not stuck up senators who'd take money over human lives.  
As I said, it's good to have you two here. And: Ben Solo. I thank you for defecting and blowing up most of their fleet.  
I knew you weren't one of them, the moment I heard you talk in comparison to General Hux. It was a difference as night and day."

Ben turned around to Rey and mumbled a little relieved:

"That's where you got your information from. I see."

Rey grinned at him until she again remembered he wouldn't see it anyway. Then they entered a cellar room and she was absolutely overwhelmed.  
It was completely stuffed with hundreds, or maybe thousands of people who were sitting and standing around, chattering excitedly and gesturing around,  
showing each other holopads or communicated with their commlinks.

The former senator went up to a makeshift platform in the front and motioned them to follow him.  
The chattering became quieter as the people in the crowd saw him stepping up the stage and they searched the room to see if the promised guests also arrived.  
Rey took Ben's gloved hand and squeezed it a little, before letting go again, to somehow reassure them both as it was a big moment for them right now.  
Then she turned her head around to him and declared:

"Okay - this is it Ben. Let's start a damn revolution together!" 

* * *

**If you watch the scene from 'The force awakens' again, where Kylo Ren meets Rey the first time in the forest, he is seriously checking her out.**  
 **Watch the clip again on a video platform of your choice and you'll see his head going up and down her body.**


	32. Chapter 32: Silk

**littleluny: I hope you'll be satisfied with this chapter. You know why ;)**

* * *

Ben and Rey followed the former senator Jorspen to the platform and stood next to him, while he started a small speech so everybody would quiet down.  
Both of them were still disguised and listened to the man, as they didn't know yet if the other knew who exactly from the Resistance were sent to them.

"I thank all of you for coming here on this important evening.  
Today we are gathered to welcome our guests, who flew all the way here to grace us with their presence.  
As you were already informed, two delegates from the Resistance came to visit us to guide you through our upcoming course of action,  
you as well as I didn't know whom we have the privilege to meet today. So you might be pretty surprised actually."

Oh no. This will be awkward. Rey thought as she bowed slightly forward to look at Ben, who stood in his typical military position and looked forward.  
Of course, Rey couldn't see his face and she sighed until she heard him in her mind:

 _"Watch out for attackers when we reveal ourselves. They didn't know it would be us."_

Yorpsen stepped aside and offered with a gesture of his hand:

"You may want to introduce yourself to your followers."

Now Ben, in fact, looked over to Rey, before he pulled off his scarf, visor and the hood of his cape, as well as she did and a sudden murmur went through the whole hall as they all started to realize who stood before the crowd.  
Suddenly one man between all these people, screamed and jumped up with a blaster aimed at them and shot at Ben, who casually flipped his two fingers up and froze the laser beam in midair in the middle of the room, while he reached out with his other hand and forced the man to hold the blaster against his chin and trigger it again, effectively shooting himself in the head.

There was a blast, then a groan and a thud, when the lifeless body of the attacker fell down on the floor.  
Ben stepped aside and released the laser beam, which still floated in the air, as it darted right next to his head against the wall behind him.  
Rey watched the whole scene with widened eyes as she had instantly felt something was going to happen when they revealed their faces but wasn't as fast as Ben,  
to react to it. So there was someone who wanted to kill them at least. What a great entry they made.  
5 seconds on stage and Ben already killed someone. Would be a new record for him, she thought sarcastically as she rolled her eyes.  
But in the end, the guy tried to kill him. So this might count as self-defence, she tried to excuse his action.

Ben now looked resentfully at the rows of people and yelled:

"Anybody who dares to betray or tries to harm us at this crucial moment will be killed for our own safety. I advise you to leave the room now if you think of doing so.  
I can scan your minds, see your very intentions and will not hesitate to use the force on you, while Rey will talk you through everything."

The crowd was dead silent as most of them stared at him, at the dead man on the ground as well at each other as if they expected another traitor in their own rows.  
But either nobody dared to leave, or there was no one else who wanted to betray them as nobody left the room right now.  
Rey looked through the mass of people until she realized two of them somehow stood out, as they were the only ones who didn't look shocked, but more so over amazed at what Ben did right now. They stood next to each other and looked like brother and sister in their teenage years. The girl a bit older than the boy, maybe about 15 and 13. Their eyes were wide and they beamed at the two force users. The moment Rey concentrated at them she could already feel their force radiate around them.  
By far not as strong as Ben's or hers, but it was there and she felt it.

"I am sorry you had to see this. Since Ben turned against the First Order we are being hunted from all sides. Just yesterday we barely survived an attack on the Resistance base by space pirates and expect more attacks against us personally as well the base too. I assume you all watched the broadcast by General Hux these days.  
We have to take precautions and can't afford to let any loose ends open because we'd be dead right now if we would.  
The same will apply to you as well, as soon as you start to follow our lead to revolt.  
You will instantly be declared a foe to the First Order and are being put on the "kill" list of them.  
You have to be aware that taking part in this can cost you your life, as well as you must be prepared to kill others for your own survival and your goals.  
You won't be coming out of this as 'the good ones without blood on your hands.  
You will be coming out of this as the ones who made their hands dirty to fight the oppression of the First Order, fight for your freedom and create a balanced,  
stable new order throughout the galaxy."

Everyone followed Rey now totally mesmerized by her words while she kept on explaining the plans of the First Order after their plan of taking over the government.  
She updated them on the status of the Resistance fleet and about the news of all these other groups throughout the galaxy which also recently formed for mutual reasons.  
Then she explained how they'd be able to keep contact in an encrypted way, how to organize themselves, assigning generals and such as well as how to avoid being found out by officials or the First Order itself. Afterwards, she told them the upcoming plans, which involved blowing up Starkiller Base II once again, searching for the other superweapons, getting rid of them and decimate the fleet to such a degree that the First Order won't stand a chance against anyone anymore and has to surrender themselves, as well as freeing the Coruscant system who is being occupied right now, which would be one of their first acts.

It took her hours to explain all of this, as they had a lot to do and there were many questions as all of them had pretty much the same goal, but needed more information on how to reach it. Ben let Rey yield to the whole speech most of the time and watched her sometimes as mesmerized as the others did, while he at some points added his knowledge or too answered questions and gave his advice on certain topics.  
Some of the people in the crowd even thanked him openly for the time he was Supreme Leader as the use of drugs, as well as smuggling of illegal wares and slaves dramatically dropped since he overtook, but they were also scared of what will happen now, that he is not the leader anymore. To which he just shrugged his shoulders and answered something along the lines, that he just saw a chance and took it. Yep, he still was bad at taking compliments. Rey thought with a smile.  
At some point, one of the spectators cried out, about the First Order sending another broadcast right now as he held his holopad up high. They weren't able to see it,  
due to the small screen, but everybody was able to hear, how General Hux announced to the public to hunt down every force sensitive in every corner of the galaxy to kill them or bring them to the First Order ships on Coruscant in exchange for a bounty. He described them as filth, agitators, bringer of chaos and even monstrosities.  
Everything started to happen exactly like Ben predicted it and Rey felt a lump growing in her throat as she saw the frightened faces of the two teenagers from whom she felt,  
were force sensitives.  
After Rey and Ben explained everything and most of the questions were finally answered, they both thanked the people and Yorpsen for the invitation, as well as their support and were just about to leave the platform, but Ben announced with a nod of his head into the crowd:

"You two. The siblings standing at the wall. We'd like to talk to you. Don't leave now."

So Ben had felt it too the whole time and Rey grinned at him as they together left the stage while Yorpsen thanked them for everything and asked them about a 100 times if they wanted anything, food, a bed to sleep, some of the expensive fabrics of the factory or anything else they thought was appropriate as a thank you.  
They declined everything and said their goodbyes to him, as they walked over to the two siblings who waited exactly at the wall where they stood the whole time,  
stepping from one foot to the other from nervousness as Rey and Ben approached.  
Rey smiled at them in a warming way, while Ben eyed them with squeezed eyes as if he was trying to read their minds, which he probably even did right now.  
When they stood before them, Rey beamed at the siblings:

"So...my guts tell me you two are the two force sensitives we heard about. Actually, we can feel your force radiating around you. Since when are you able to use it?"

The older sister answered:

"We were able to use it since being toddlers I think. But we just realized it some years ago.  
We weren't able to do much, mostly just float small things around. Nothing special.  
But we feel our power growing since some weeks. It feels overwhelming. We know we can do so much more. We just don't know how. But there is something inside of us."

"Your powers are growing because the darkness is spreading throughout the galaxy right now, it has nearly taken over already.  
The force is trying to maintain balance by letting the light side blossom in different life forms."

Ben explained in such a warm tone, Rey looked at him surprised as he normally just talks to her in this way instead of his usual cold,  
unemotional voice he maintained when talking to others.

"Is this what happened to you two? You were the darkness and Rey the light?"

The younger boy asked him while he looked with a slightly flushed face at both while Ben straightened himself a bit with a perplexed look plastered on his face as he glanced from the boy to Rey.  
Rey wasn't perplexed at all by this question, as she saw how much the two teenagers already understood about the force,  
as she put her palm on the shoulder of the boy and confirmed:

"Yes, that's exactly what happened. Ben was trapped in a really dark place and I came to meet him in the light. We found balance together."

The two siblings looked at each other with widened eyes, then grinned at the two force users, while Ben didn't say anything but laid his palm on Rey's shoulder in affirmation to her words. Then he offered to the two siblings:

"You heard the broadcast about the First Order hunting down force sensitives as you two are. As _we_ are. We can't teach you anything at the time given.  
There is no time for that in a war. You won't have any masters, an academy or any structures at all which could provide you with the knowledge you seek right now.  
Hereby I'll offer you a certain degree of protection at the Resistance base.  
The base itself will probably be victim of further attacks by space pirates, headhunters or the First Order itself,  
but I can assure you, you are safer there with us around, then alone on the streets on a planet who will probably be occupied by the First Order in the upcoming days.  
I saw in your minds you two are orphans, so there should be no problem at leaving your life on this planet behind."

Rey's eyes widened at Ben's offer and she looked over at him to see if he was serious.  
They didn't talk about that before and she was suddenly super excited when she heard this.  
In summary, he just said that Rey and he will teach a new generation of force users when the war is over and she couldn't believe her luck. Or the sibling's luck.  
Or anything at all anymore. Right now she just wanted to tackle Ben down and kiss him until they'll fall unconscious from lack of breath for what he just offered.

The children's eyes beamed with joy at his offer and their gazes darted from him to each other, to Rey and back to him, while a huge grin appeared on their faces until they both nodded so much, their heads nearly fell off.

"We would love to come with you! We are aware that there will be people looking for us after that broadcast hours ago.  
We were scared afterwards as we didn't know what to do. We planned on asking you anyways after your speech."

The older girl beamed at him and looked excited.

"I know."

Ben answered and grinned just the slightest bit at the two before he continued:

"We can't take you with us tonight, as our ship is too small. But we will contact the base and sent you a ship to get you as soon as possible. It's in your best interest to not use the force until you are picked up by a Resistance ship as well as you should go into hiding for the time being. Maybe ask Jorspen to hide you two. It will be just several hours from now. If you have any friends here, do not contact them. Do not contact anyone actually. They might turn you in. The First Order offered high sums for force sensitives and there will be people, foes as well as friends who will try to earn this money. This is your best chance at surviving these next hours."

"We will be extremely cautious. Thank you both."

The girl answered and embraced her younger brother from the side as both nodded their thanks and went over to Jorspen to talk to him.

"Stars Ben. I can't believe what you just offered them. Actually, I am speechless."

Rey smiled at him while they walked through the now near empty factory, back to the entrance, while she bowed forward to see his eyes.

"They'd be slaughtered like pigs in the upcoming 24 hours if they'd not be picked up. They have several poor friends, who'd probably betray and rat them out to earn the bounty. Also...it feels wrong to let them alone with this sudden power they are starting to possess. I lived through that long enough, as well as you did."

He explained with a stern voice while he glanced back at Rey who just smiled at him, still happy about his decision. Then she complimented him:

"You have so much light in you, I think you don't even realise it yourself. You are a freaking good human being...Sometimes at least."

"You are giving me an awful lot of compliments lately."

He drily commented with a frown as they passed by a huge room with several different coloured cloths hanging from the ceiling, as well as being stacked onto each other everywhere. Rey looked into the room in amazement by all these different styles of fabric and took a step forward into it, then she turned around to face him as she wanted to answer his comment and grinned really widely while saying this:

"Yes, I do. Because I fucking love you Ben Solo."

He stood there glued to the spot, with his arms folded behind his back and looked at her with a shocked expression by her words,  
as this was the first time she directly told him that she loved him.  
By now they just told each other, they fell in love, or are lovestruck, or were important to each other, but never used these holy three words in a row,  
or in Rey's case four words, if someone counts the swearword in.

Then his expression changed to something completely different, something which felt dangerous as well as passionate, his breathing hitched and he took a step towards her without letting his eyes go off hers, while he pulled one arm back and let the door fall shut behind him through a push of the force.  
Then she heard the lock click get closed and she flinched a little together from hearing the metallic noise.  
Suddenly her eyes widened as she knew what was going on in his head this very moment.  
Rey's legs started to feel wobbly as he approached her slowly, but with such a purposeful stride it reminded her of how he walked towards her after they killed off the Praetorian Guards in Snoke's throne room.

"Ben..."

She whispered in a trembling voice as she was totally overwhelmed as well as excited by his sudden behaviour, while she instantly pulled her arms up and around his neck,  
the moment he reached her and didn't let a second go to waste as he dipped his head down to kiss her in such a wanting manner she could practically feel just from how his tongue explored her mouth how much he wanted her right now. Ben was already biting and nibbling his way from her mouth to the jaw and neck, while he pressed her backwards against one of these stacked linen heaps, which were all around them.  
The moment she had to stop stumbling backwards from pushing, she also felt his body press against hers and even when both of them wore thick robes she could feel his hardened member against her upper thigh and she inhaled sharply when she felt this.

That's when it too clicked in her head and she moaned while he was sucking a wet trail down her neck and she could feel him grin against her skin when he heard her thoughts. She pressed him back with both hands and stared at him, as well as he did, not knowing why she pushed him away. Then Rey ordered while pointing at his robe:

"Get that thing off. And mine too."

He huffed out and smirked at her, as he answered:

"With pleasure."

Then he flicked his fingers in the air and suddenly her cape was ripped off her body and was pushed over her head as it fell onto the ground next to her,  
while he pulled his own off normally.  
Rey walked towards him, as soon as this annoying piece of clothing was gone and shoved him onto one of the big rolls with a red kind of fabric, she didn't know which one it is but it looked extremely soft. He fell down and had to sit on it, while she climbed on top of him and pressed him even more down, so he had to lie on his back,  
surrounded by this red cloth.  
Again she kissed him and bit his lip while pulling it forward to which he let out a groan and grabbed her butt to press her down on his erection to which she too moaned into his mouth as she made circular movements on top of him with her hip, grounding into the bulge he presented her.

Eventually, she parted her head from his and asked with a smirk, just to tease him:

"What kind of fabric is this?"

He looked a bit perplex, but finally glanced to the side at the material he laid on and answered:

"Red velvet. Really soft, something to show royalty."

"Mhhmmhm. Interesting."

She mumbled while she started to unbutton his tunic until it was completely open. Again he wore his undershirt, but that was fastly pulled upwards to reveal his chest and his really well-trained stomach. She crouched down from his hip and started to kiss and lick the lower area of his abdomen to which he reacted by grabbing her head,  
closing his eyes and groaning and muttering swear words.  
Her head was directly next to the huge bulge in his pants and she wondered what would happen, if she just slightly brushed her palm over it, what she did the next second while still sucking on the skin of his abdomen with smacking noises.  
It twitched a little the moment she touched it and she felt his abdominal muscle tense at the same time, to which she let out a satisfied humm,  
while he looked down at her a little as he muttered out her name.

"Guess you like that. Maybe I should do more of this."

She said teasingly and now started to open his pants which had the buttons on the side while deliberately and repeatedly brushing the side of her hand against his raging boner. It took some time, as his clothing was a little complex to open and he groaned the whole time, until he suddenly pushed himself up and pulled her into a standing position. Then he grabbed her thighs and heaved her up, while he turned sideways and pushed her against the wall next to them which was covered in some kind of different fabric she also didn't know.

He pressed her against it with his whole body, while kissing her again so sloppy her lips were completely wet while having differences finding each other's tongues again,  
from moaning too much, while she straddled his hips between her legs which she pulled around him. Suddenly he pulled on the side of her tunic and opened the knot on the side to reveal her skin, as she again didn't wear anything under it to cover her chest, as she mostly never did.  
Then he paused the kissing for some seconds, to glide his hand over her stomach and up to her now showing breasts after he tucked the shirt completely away from her and tossed it onto the floor. Rey now felt the fabric she was pressed against on her back and it felt really soft as well as sleek.  
Ben dipped his head down to her left breast, while he squeezed it with one hand and without any prior warning took her already hardened nipple into his mouth,  
to suck and flick his tongue against it so wickedly good, she could only dig her fingernails into his scalp as well his shoulder while pressing her thighs even more around him as she moaned out:

"Uhhh fuck Ben. Stars...you are ffffucking good at this."

Then he pulled up his hand and pressed his thumb against her lip, he ordered with a low voice and a wild look in his eyes:

"Lick it."

Rey watched him, while she opened her mouth as he instantly let his thumb glide over her tongue, which she moved around to wet his finger and once again he moved it rhythmically back and forth as if he was fucking her mouth with his thumb and it made such arousing smacking noises, she already felt her lower abdomen pulling together by this blatant action. It was an insanely kinky gesture and she whimpered while he did it as her hand stroked over his muscular torso, which was just partly plastered with bacta patches. Not so many anymore as it was two days ago. His muscles tensed when her hand brushed over it and she was in awe at how strong he was.

When he pulled his thumb out of her mouth with a quiet plop, he brought it down to her nipple and made a circling motion with her saliva on the sensitive skin,  
while he attended the other one with his mouth again which made her squirm between him and the wall and she could already feel waves of pleasure crawling up her body while her panty started to feel just so moist. If he wouldn't press his body so hard against hers right now, she would probably slip down from this slick fabric behind her back,  
so she mewled out to slow everything down as she thought she would come already if he kept on doing so:

"B...Ben...what kind of fabric is this?

He stopped for a second with his mouth but kept on circling her nipple with his wet thumb as he looked up and beside her,  
then knitted his eyebrows together and answered with a raspy voice:

"Satin. Slick and lustrous. Mostly used for lingerie. This would feel so freaking good on your skin..."

Rey had gripped a fistful of the fabric and felt it, while he explained. The next moment he pressed his hardened member so deep against her pants, it felt like he was already penetrating her. She couldn't wait much longer, the friction was too heavy and her entrance already so wet for him, she let out a strangled moan and panted out:

"Get them off me. Now. Ben."

Ben pulled her away from the wall and threw her ungracefully onto another heap of fabric, this time it was black and slightly transparent.  
She loved how rough he was with her, as their arousal was too built up over these last weeks or even months to have vanilla sex right now.  
He positioned himself between her legs and grinned mischievously as he took the sight of her exposed body in until he started to rip open her waistband while he purred with a grin and a nod to the fabric under her:

"This is nylon. You know nylons?"

"No."

She breathed out and watched him fumble with her pants until it was opened and he slowly started to pull it downwards. Then he leaned down to her hips and her breathing got faster while started to kiss her lower abdomen. While he torturingly slow pulled them down, he followed every inch of skin, which was revealed, kissing her legs and inner thighs on the way, as well as biting softly which drove her crazy with want and she wondered if the space between her legs was already wet and if so, if he saw it.  
The moment the pants reached her knees, he mumbled on her skin which tickled by his breath:

"Nylons are being used for stockings. You can pull them down like this, or rip them open easily and start right away if you are in a hurry."

With that, he ripped down her pants, as well as her boots one by one and she laid before him just in her panties, on this heap of nylon cloth under her.  
Ben loomed over her as she pulled him down and his undershirt finally off while she straddled his hips between her legs, now feeling so much more of him, through having practically close to nothing between her slick folds and him anymore.  
Then she shoved his pants down too, with both her feet next to his legs as they were already opened from before as he just smirked at her and huffed out:

"Smart."

Again she felt him so much more of him, just being separated by the thin fabrics of their underwear and she moaned out while she rhythmically moved against his body already, trying to press her groin area even more into his as she finally wanted to have him inside her. Her core was now nearly screaming for it and he obviously knew it,  
as he shoved his hand down between her legs and lifted his hips up a bit to have some space while he dove his fingers under her underwear and directly found her little nub of pleasure, without even searching for it. Stars this man can read her mind. Of course, he would know exactly where to find it the first try. She thought and cried out as he gathered all the liquid which already seeped out of her to gently circle his fingers around her clit and she was reaching her orgasm so fast she pressed her legs together while she dug her nails into his shoulder as her body was already starting to jerk under his touch. But a second before she came he suddenly stopped and instead pushed two fingers inside her with a groan as he obviously was really aroused by doing these things to her. She arched her back by this sudden penetration and screamed out,  
but held both her hands over her mouth to not be too loud, which muffled her scream into a whimper, while he kept pounding into her with his fingers,  
but sometimes brushed one thumb over her clit, to leave her dwelling on this near orgasm point. He was teasing her. Again.

"You think you are already allowed to come?"

Ben asked and pulled his fingers out as he pressed his palm flat against her unbelievably wet folds and torturingly slow slid it back and forth, giving her a sensation all over her vagina, which was even more arousing while he then also leaned down to suck on her nipple once again.  
Rey didn't understand how he was trying to forbid her from coming because what he was doing right now will definitely make her come any second anyway as she already again felt her walls contracting and even more fluid dripping out of her. He growled onto her nipple on which he still nibbled and she felt the vibration of his voice against her skin, which brought her nearly over the edge. Just one more stroke of his palm and she will explode as she already had to close her eyes and lean her head backwards, feeling the orgasm coming, while she opened her lips and panted in high pitched tones.

Again he stopped and suddenly pulled his hand away, to bring it up to her lips and just pushed the fingers which just played with her juices into her opened mouth and she blinked at him in surprise at tasting herself like that. But it was good and aroused her even more, despite thinking this couldn't be possible anymore.

"Look what you did Rey."

He muttered, regarding her wetness with such a wanting gaze as he followed his coated fingers disappearing into her mouth again, which she licked clean completely,  
gaining an exhale with a little moan in the end by him.  
She couldn't take his teasing anymore and pushed him away from her, rolling him to the side onto another heap of cloth next to them with a shimmering surface with golden patterns on top. It felt as soft as the satin did before, but a little stronger to the touch.

Rey ripped off his pants now, as well as hers and they both were suddenly completely naked, while she slowly sat on top of his groin, without pushing him inside.  
She just took a short look at his manhood before seating herself and oh boy, she was not disappointed, not at all, more so over she wondered if everything would fit.  
The moment she sat down and felt his warm, pulsating skin beneath her opening he moaned and was now the one who let his head fall back onto the surface beneath him.  
She sat upright on top of him and had her palms splained across his chest and made just the smallest circling motion with her hips, spreading her fluids all over his cock, which let it twitch every now and then, while she raked her nails over the skin of his stomach.  
Now he was the one receiving the teasing treatment and she loved every second of him quivering under her body, while his cheeks flushed with pleasure.  
He had his hands pressed flat against the side of her hips and pressed his thumbs into the dips of her legs, while he moaned her name in some kind of warning manner  
as if he couldn't hold back anymore from entering her. But she wouldn't let him.

She bowed down to him and nibbled on his jaw while sliding back and forth on his super hard member as he kept on groaning, but had his eyes open again,  
staring at her while he massaged her butt. To tease him further, she asked in a hushed tone, already trembled with excitement:

"What kind of fabric is this one?"

"Stars...Rey, really?"

He asked with a broken voice as he stared at her with a gaze, that said: _I am going to fuck you into oblivion any second._

"Yeah really. Enlighten me."

She answered with a wide grin and nodded over to the shimmering fabric under his messy hair.  
His head turned around slowly to look at it and he opened his mouth to answer with a shaky breath:

"It's si...aaAaAhhhh...lk."

He managed to breathe out the moment, she again slid over his member and dipped the tip of it into her entrance, but instantly pulled it out again,  
gaining a loud and long-drawn-out moan from his lips as he arched under her body.

"Hmmmhmm. What is siaaaahlk? Never heard of such a thing."

She provoked him with such a wide grin, she nearly started to laugh out loud at seeing his now pissed face.

"Fuck you, Rey."

He growled out with a deep voice, but she parried instantly with:

"No fuck me, Ben."

By saying this, something inside him snapped as the pupils of his eyes seemed to become smaller and he suddenly pulled up his torso from his lying position,  
gripped her hips on both sides hard and pushed her with one swift motion completely down onto his cock, without any warning.  
Rey cried out in surprise, then in pain, which lasted only for a second and then suddenly ultimate pleasure as it just felt so good to finally be filled by him.  
Her whole body started to tremble and she felt their force suddenly ripple through her veins, sending sizzling waves of power through them as it mixed up with his too.  
Ben growled out loudly and pressed his body against hers, while he bit into her shoulder and pushed her hips against him even more.

"Arrrhhg fuck...Ben...fuck...kiss me!"

Rey ordered through moans and pulled his head away from her shoulder while she started to ride him, with both her legs bent on the side of his hips.  
With every pounding down of her body, her pleasure rose again and she cupped his face between both her palms as they again kissed each other feverishly,  
while he embraced her completely as if he was trying to press their bodies as close to each other as anatomically possible.  
They both didn't go easy on each other as he pressed her down hard, pumping into her, while she ground his hips into his, trying to feel all of him in her,  
even if it didn't fit completely right now.

Again she started to feel it, the waves of her orgasm were nearing and she moaned into his mouth and had to pull her head away a bit,  
to lean her sweaty forehead against his.

"Ben...Seriously this time I am...hnnngn...ffffuuuuuuck...coming."

She breathed out against him and rolled her hips around as she started to see white stars in front of her eyes already.  
He pulled one hand away from her hip and held her jaw in place, so she was forced to stare at him, while he moaned out:

"Look at me when you come, Rey."

And she did. It felt as if something inside her burst open when she came.  
Her core started to contract and pump more fluid against his hard length inside her, while her legs started to spasm next to her body.  
Her hand which was sprained on his chest cramped while she dug her fingernails into his skin, feeling one wave after another roll over her while he was still pushing and pushing and with every move another moan escaped her lips, as she completely dissolved into pleasure which spread out through her whole body.  
She wasn't able to look at him the whole time, as her eyelids fluttered uncontrollably, while she gritted her teeth to let out a loud growl, which evolved into a muffled scream and then a whimper. At some point, she saw him staring at her in amazement, while his hand wandered from her jaw to her neck and he held her as if he would strangle her, which he didn't and she felt his member twitching inside her rhythmically as he started growling a line of swear words she had never heard of.  
The moment she felt his seed filling her, it sent another wave of pleasure through her body and she arched into him, prolonging her unnaturally long and intense orgasm even more and she thought for a second she will forever be in this ecstatic state with him.

But they weren't and she slowly came to her senses after some time, as she rid him out and just kept on rolling her hips a little to let her orgasm roll off, as well as his.  
They both panted heavily while staring deep into each other's eyes, totally sweaty, hair a mess, the faces and chests totally flushed.  
When they were finally calmed down, which took some time, he leaned forward a bit, gripped the back of her hair and pulled her face forward to plant a kiss on her forehead, as he mumbled against her skin:

"I love you too Rey. So much. You are everything to me." 

* * *

**They have finally done the thing!**  
 **I liked Ben's 'Si...aaaAaaA..lk' part. Always trying to have control, but obviously not when Rey is playing around with him :D**


	33. Chapter 33: Holotape

**Because one time is never enough!**

* * *

After they stayed in a loving embrace for several minutes with many sweet kisses in between, they finally decided to get dressed again and get back to the ship,  
needing to fly back to the base. Rey ogled Ben the whole time and if it was up to her she would be glued to him right now, as she wanted to stay close,  
touch him and actually had the strong need to do something so ordinary like just cuddling right now, preferably under a warm blanket or anything comfy at all.  
She wondered if he too felt like this, as they were dressed in their robes again, as well in their scarves and visors to appear disguised while they walked through the streets of Hanna city once more.

At some point, he suddenly reached out with his hand, laid it flatly against her back and then glided down to her hips, where he let it rest on her tailbone,  
just above her butt, drawing small circles with his thumb against the fabric of her clothes while they kept on walking through the alleys next to each other.  
This time a slightly different route, so they wouldn't need to squeeze again through so many people like they had to do before.  
She turned her head to him, but he stared straight forward with his masked face without saying anything.  
But she assumed by his action that he too had the need to keep on touching her right now and she just smiled inwardly while she savoured his gesture the whole time they went back.

Suddenly she felt some fluid running down her leg under her clothing and she blushed, which luckily couldn't be seen by anyone as she too was masked.  
It was his cum which was slowly dripping out of her now, even when she thought she got rid of it back then in the factory.  
Obviously, there still was something inside her and it aroused her once again, while she felt it running down to her knees inside her pants.  
Rey groaned a bit and he turned a little in her direction, probably looking surprised right now as she silently muttered under her breath:

"It's dripping out of me right now."

The circling of his thumb took a halt on her back and his fingers pressed into her skin while he stopped in his track for a second to glance sideways at her.  
Then he kept on walking, looking forward again, while he mumbled back with shaky exhale:

"I am glad we are wearing cowls right now."

She wondered for a second why he said that until it clicked and her lips warped into a mischievous grin as she imagined him walking around with a boner in public and now she too was glad that they wore the robes, or else she'd be all over him again.  
The people they crossed paths with, either ignored or stared at them, before looking away as if they hadn't seen them because he obviously cloaked their presence again.  
While walking back they talked about several buildings, places and regions they passed as she mostly asked him about everything and listened interestedly to his explanations. He knew a lot about this planet and its capital, as well as the government, which he partly executed and it was interesting to hear how the whole system here worked. But it was also depressing, as most people who lived there were so good situated they didn't understand how being poor works or how it could happen to anybody.  
So ironically the ones who were going to fight for the Resistance, would be the workers, the lower classes of the planet as they were the ones who are being oppressed most and know how it is to fight for the sole purpose of staying alive.  
At some point, she even found out on which day he was born, as it was the same day the Galactic Concordance was signed which he believed to be a farce as it led to a hollow peace instead of true balance.

Finally, they reached the forested area again, where the ship was parked, pulled off their robes and scarves once again and she stared at Ben getting undressed.  
He wore his usual black attire but she was overwhelmed to see him again like that anyway, even when they wore their disguise just for some hours right now.  
She couldn't help but walk over to him, while he typed something into the board computer, as she just had to embrace him from behind,  
to be close to him once again. She felt his body heat against her stomach and chest as well as heard his voice resonate through his ribcage when he asked:

"Missed me already?"

Then he laid his right hand on hers, which was draped across his torso, while he kept on typing in the coordinates for the base.  
Rey nuzzled her head into his back and smelled his clothing, which smelled fresh but also like himself.  
A mix of burned wood, something sweet like fruits and also like copper, as he mostly had blood somewhere on his clothes, from himself or from enemies actually.  
Finally, she answered while her face was buried in his back:

"Mhhhhm...Yeah, I did."

He was done typing the coordinates in and turned around to face her, while her arms were still draped around him.  
Then he wordlessly heaved her up and sat her on the lower side of the ship, so she'd be at the same height as his head is, while he positioned himself between her legs and stared so deeply into her eyes, her heart started to flutter once again from excitement.  
Ben leaned forward, brushed his lips against hers carefully and started sucking a bit on her lower lip in a slow stimulating fashion,  
as she reached her hand up to rake through his hair, her favourite occupation lately, messing it up completely again.

Slowly he pressed her down onto the ships hull with his palm around her neck, while their kiss deepened and everything went from just being affectionate with each other,  
to all of their touches becoming arousing once again as she moaned against his lips.  
She seriously pondered about if this degree of finding practically everything about the other person arousing was normal anymore,  
but then again she thought that nothing at all about both of them is normal, so she discarded the thought fast and brought her knees up beside his hips,  
pressing them together and pushing him down into her as she already felt him being hard against her inner thighs.  
So at least it reassured her, that he was as wicked about her, as she was about him and too couldn't let his fingers off her.

He trailed a kiss from her mouth over to her jaw and further down as she craned her neck, so he had better access to suck and nibble on her skin and she hoped she wouldn't have any hickeys afterwards until he whispered into her ear:

"You still need to contact the base."

"Oh shit. Yeah, I'll do it right now. Got a message just hours ago that Poe is already back. I'll contact him. Leia is probably as always busy."

Rey groaned out and pulled the commlink from her belt, while she stayed in the position on her back into which he had pushed her before.  
She searched for the right frequency and spoke into the device, while Ben still loomed over and watched her:

"Hey, Poe! We are done here, everything went more or less smoothly. We'll be flying back any minute now, but need another shuttle as soon as possible with space for two more persons, as we need to take in two force sensitive people for their own protection. Don't ask about it, we'll explain later."

There was a crackling noise and Poe's voice was to be heard, while Ben brushed his fingers over the form of Rey's hardened nipple, its elevation slightly visible through the fabric and Rey had to hold back a moan by his prickling touch.

"Hey, there cinnamon roll! Good to hear, our mission went also really well. Apart from Finn...he...Stars. Let's not talk about it. Ok fuck it, I'll do it anyway.  
He accidentally got high from eating some cookies we were offered by a hippie group. Maker, I told him not to take anything, Rose too but he thought they were being so nice. He was talking bantha shit the whole flight back, I was just a second away from shooting him with a stun beam, but Rose forbid it.  
Phew ok, got that off from my shoulders. So yeah, I'm sending a ship over, guess to the meeting point you were invited, isn't it?"

Poe told her and laughed about the story while doing so. In the meantime, Rey had a fistful of Ben's hair in her hand and laughed at the story and also moaned loudly, because he had already pulled open her tunic and was sucking on her nipple directly, while he pressed a hand against her inner thigh as he wandered up slowly.  
She couldn't answer like this right now, so she tried to pull herself together before she reached for the commlink again and breathed out:

"Maker...that sounds freaking funny. Would love to have seen this. Yeah, they are at the me...aaaAhaa...ting point."

She moaned out that one word, because Ben suddenly ripped her pants down and pressed both his thumbs against her slick folds, from the sides brushing up and down, spreading her fluids under her underwear. He was not really doing any foreplay, but obviously, she didn't need it right now as she was still heavily aroused from before. Actually from the whole day and everything going on between them.

"Everything alright with you? You sounded like you were in pain or something? Is Ben with you?"

Poe asked and sounded a little worried. Rey's breath hitched in her throat while Ben started massaging her clit with one thumb,  
while he dipped just the tip of the other one in and out of her and she let out a deep moan as her head fell back onto the ships hull. Stars what was he doing to her again?  
She pulled at his head who was somewhere at her stomach, licking his way downwards, so he'd look up at her face again and he smirked.  
This bastard smirked at her, knowing perfectly well she had trouble talking to Poe like that and he was fucking amused by it.  
Of course, he was, as he obviously liked to do things in public, or be in danger of being found out.  
She had to squeeze her legs together, so he'd stop this wonderful wicked circling of her clit which already melted her body under his as she breathed out,  
trying to sound angry, but totally failing at that:

"Fuck Ben. You are impossible. Would you just stop that for a minute, so Poe doesn't think you are killing me right now?"

"Sure."

He plainly answered and pulled her up into a standing position, as he turned her away from him so she looked at the ship and the commlink which still laid on its hull.  
She took it but was also very aware, that her tunic was open and her pants pulled down to her knees right now, which suddenly felt ridiculous when she stood around like that. She grabbed the commlink, glanced warily over her shoulder at Ben as if he would try anything funny, but he didn't and then messaged the pilot once again:

"Yeah he is with me, everything is alright. I just tripped over a stone. Sorry. We'll be back in three hours."

The moment she stopped talking, Ben instantly pushed her upper body forward and she was forced to bent over the cold metallic surface beneath her which brushed against her hardened nipples and left a cool sensation on them.  
Oh, she knew what he was planning to do and she felt her panty already being drenched by her juices as her walls started to swell in anticipation.  
Rey wanted to feel him like this since he bent her over the first time on her dresser when they accidentally connected via their force bond after her shower and she already squirmed under his touch, while her breathing hitched in her throat from feeling all these sensations.

"I wonder why you said, we need three hours when the flight just takes two. But I am sure you had your reasons, didn't you?"

He asked her in a low, sarcastic voice and stroked his flat palm against her underwear, rubbing the fabric between her slick inner lips, drenching the fabric completely with her fluids. She cried out and pushed further against his hand, searching for even more contact, while he massaged her scalp with his other hand and pulled her head back just a bit.

"Yes...I thought you might want to tell me more about siaaahlk. You didn't finish this one."

She pressed out with a grin, knowingly riling him up and pushed her butt back against his groin, while he dug his finger into the sides of her hip.  
Then he ripped down her underwear in one swift motion, so she was bent over and completely naked down below, slipped his thumb into her slippery entrance until it reached his knuckles, which made her arch against him and cry out in pleasure, while he growled out:

"Are you mocking me again?"

"Absolutely."

She panted out and already moved her body rhythmically against his thumb sliding over it in her own tempo, in preparation for what will come afterwards.  
Suddenly the commlink crackled again and she heard Poe's voice amused but simultaneously slightly pissed:

"Ok, you two weirdos. Seriously, if you fuck around, make sure to turn your commlink off!  
People thought I am listening to porn audio-holotapes in the cantina! Not funny!"

Rey's face went so red and hot suddenly, she thought it would explode as she grabbed the commlink in an instant and turned it off while still moaning from his movement. Obviously, she somehow pressed her body against it, when he bent her down and the device powered on again, messaging Poe the whole time.  
Stars this was probably the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to her.  
Ben just snorted at that and kept on stroking her little nub, earning a quivering body from her, whilst pumping into her slit with his thumb, until he sneered:

"Must have been a nice audio-holotape then."

"Ben you are fucking unbelievable! I bet you knew about it!"

Rey moaned out as she was already nearing her climax from him stroking and penetrating her center the whole time and her legs felt shaky until he shuffled behind her and she knew that playtime was over and he's going in for real now. Just as she thought it, he felt him gliding into her slick entrance with his hard member, this time really slow and she threw her head back and let out a strangled noise as she felt his full length entering her inch for inch.  
He too groaned behind her, while he grabbed her ass hard and pushed into her, while he again played with his thumb in her juices smearing it around his cock on her clit, rubbing it slowly. This is fucking torture! She thought as he finally filled her up completely, slowly dragging it in and out, whilst he circled her little nub of pleasure simultaneously. Her body started to tremble in want and pleasure while she huffed against the metallic surface under her head, which fogged from every exhale against it.

"Maybe I did."

He answered and intensified the pressure on her clit, while still extremely slowly pulling in and out of her, obviously savouring every thrust himself too while she heard him breathe heavily behind her. By now Rey was so moist, her fluids ran down her inner thighs and she heard smacking sounds from his movement.  
Her walls started contracting around him and she closed her eyes as she felt the waves of the orgasm wash over her while she stammered out his name and some insults at him for knowing that Poe heard them the whole time, while he pulled his thumb away from her clit, grabbed her from behind and started pounding into her so hard while moaning himself too now. She cried out as her climax, which started out really slow suddenly intensified immensely by him hitting a certain spot deep inside her which made her feel things she never had before.  
It felt as if a huge wave crashed against her body and she was totally taken away with it, numbing all her senses while she only felt this ripple of white, hot liquid running through her whole body.  
She clawed her fingernails into the metal beneath her and screamed out his name while nearly unbearable pleasure hit her over and over again, every time he thrust into her.  
After some seconds he too panted heavily and she felt him cum into her center, feeling his pulsating member dripping into her and it spurred her climax even further again.  
He slowed his rhythm and she heard squishy noises as she was obviously filled with her own as well as his fluids which ran down in streams on her inner thighs now.

Her breathing slowly started to normalize itself again, while he bowed down but didn't pull out, to carefully lay his chest on her back and kiss the exposed skin on her shoulders, while stroking her sides affectionally, then he panted out:

"Stars Rey, I think I am fucking addicted to you already."

Rey loved that he didn't pull out and to still feel him twitching inside her, while she pulled one of his hands to her mouth, turned her head sideways so she could see him,  
with his again messy hair and this wild gaze in his brown eyes, sweat on his forehead and kissed his fingertips.

"Me too Ben, me too."

* * *

 **I bet Poe wasn't really in the cantina when he heard them. More so over in his bed, with his dick in his hand :D**


	34. Chapter 34: What bomb?

**I decided to make every following chapter about them having sex in different public places, while Poe has to listen to them, or watch them accidentally every time.  
Ok. No, I am just kidding. There will be also other content apart from them having a lot of sexy time right now.**

* * *

After their second intense lovemaking session on Chandrila, they flew back to the base and of course, decided they were too sweaty and coated in each other's bodily fluids, to walk around the base just like that. So right after landing they directly had to go to the fresher together, which lead to them doing it a third time in the shower, which again was insanely good, with all the water around their naked bodies.

Because two times certainly were not enough for them.

After every time they did it today, Rey thought she could never feel more satisfied than she did right afterwards, but one electrifying touch by his fingertips or one lingering glance and it all started over again. It was as if something that lurked between them the whole time was finally released and they had to let it all out to the point where they were totally whacked. Rey thought they finally had reached that point after their third time in the shower, but soon found out that wasn't the case at all when her gaze lingered longingly over to him in the late evening as they once again had to assemble in the situation room with everyone to bring together their updates regarding the groups they visited throughout the galaxy today.

The two young force sensitives they picked up on Chandrila were luckily brought to the base safely and sat together between all these other rebels, listening to the continuous exchange of information interestedly, while Rey and Ben took their time before the meeting to welcome them and talk a little.

When Rey and Ben entered the room, Finn, Rose and Poe sat at the same spot in front, where they mostly lingered around when there was a meeting and Leia as well as the other generals again stood in front, while a huge monitor behind them was visible with a map of parts of a star system, as well as news updates from the holonet.  
Rey and Ben walked over to the group of her friends and Poe grinned like an idiot as he asked sassily:

"Heard you had a nice time on Chandrila?"

Rey's face went completely red, while Ben glared at the pilot and answered with a scoff:

"Heard you had a nice time in the cantina?"

Poe scowled with a frown suddenly and hissed out:

"Fuck you magic stick boy."

"Fuck you too, Flyboy!"

Ben growled back as he folded his arms in front of his chest and leaned down slightly to better glare at Poe.

"Ben! Poe! Seriously - both of you shut up right now!"

Rey scolded both men with an annoyed click of her tongue as she doesn't want to bring that topic up with Finn around because he would certainly not like to hear about any of what accidentally happened today with the commlink.  
Rose and Finn looked between all of them back and forth with a confused glance, until Rose stated with a wagging finger and knitted eyebrows at the others:

"Ok there's something strange going on between the three of you and I don't even want to know what it is."

All of them looked at Rose until Poe leaned back as well as Ben turned around, away from the pilot and looked forward to the generals,  
waiting for them to start. Rey's face was still slightly red, while she eyed Poe warningly and slowly turned around too.  
Leia started to talk, as she explained the for the greater part successful meetings with the other groups, except for two incidents were rebels were lead into a trap and were unfortunately murdered by First Order troops who already waited for them, but weren't luckily able to retrieve the location of the base.  
The mood was a little gloomy afterwards when they held a minute of silence for their fallen rebels, but in summary, the Resistance just won about ten thousand people as their somehow personal army, who'd voluntarily revolt against the First Order.  
They were extremely bad armed, untrained and didn't possess many battleships, but it was a start.  
It was much more than the New Republic offered to their people as protection. The important part was:  
They wanted it, they had a fire burning inside them, driven by the strong will to uphold their freedom and bring back peace and balance to the galaxy.

"Our next aim will be the occupation of Coruscant by the First Order. Currently, they are orbiting the planet with 5 Stardestroyers and 3 Dreadnoughts.  
They already purged the government building and took over the Senate. Force-sensitives all over the planet have been found to be publicly executed by stormtroopers.  
Currently, we won't be able to fight the fleet, even if we have a lot support for our course. We lack battleships as well as firepower to make a serious threat to the fleet."

Leia explained and looked bitterly into the crowd in front of her.  
Suddenly Ben asked with a pressing voice:

"Is it known which ships exactly are taking part in the occupation?"

"As far as our sources tell, the ships are the: Black Cloud, Nihilus, Stormspike, Trident, Valor, Starhunter, Arden and the Executor."

Leia answered with raised eyebrows at her son, wondering in which direction his questioning will go.

"If they hadn't changed the layouts of the ship, which is near impossible in this short amount of time, there will be one electro-proton bomb each on the Nihilus,  
as well as on the Arden. If we..."

Ben started, but was instantly interrupted by Leia as she gasped angrily and scolded him:

"We are NOT going to use a superweapon. No. Absolutely not!  
Igniting such a bomb would contravene the Galactic Concordance in its very core, especially if it happens on Coruscant territory.  
This would be considered a war crime!"

Ben pressed his lips together the moment she interrupted him and Rey instantly felt how anger flared up inside him,  
while he dipped his head slightly down and had some kind of staring contest with his mother, until he answered in a low voice:

"I am aware of that."

"Well, then you are certainly well aware that there is no way in this or any other dimension the Resistance is going to acquire these bombs, let alone ignite them.  
Doing so would also be suicide for everyone involved. I think we understand each other, don't we Ben?"

Leia glared at him with such a determining tone on her lips, Rey was startled at how she tried to press him into complying without further discussing the topic.  
Then Rey glanced over at Ben who had something like a hostile look in his eyes, but suddenly it changed as he shuffled his stance a little until he nodded and plainly answered as if confirming an order:

"Understood."

Leia stared at him for several more seconds as if she was trying to find out if he seriously understood, until she obviously was convinced, then glanced away and continued to talk about the occupation, as well as gave an intermediate state of the research about the weak point of Starkiller Base. They found several flaws, but none of them were accessible by any means, so they had to keep on digging. Rey listened closely and the meeting went on for about two hours.  
At some point, she saw Ben suddenly sitting down next to Poe and they talked to each other in hushed voices while still staring forward to listen to the generals.  
She didn't hear about what they were talking but she was absolutely certain, whatever it was, _shit was about to go down_ when these two overcame their differences and talked normally without bickering at each other anymore.  
The two men didn't talk for too long and then remained to sit next to each other for the rest of the meeting until it was dissolved.  
Rey found this highly suspicious and wondered if she was the only one who thought so.

They were finally done and everybody left the room. Poe darted out instantly, while Finn and Rose excused themselves as they were scheduled to keep on researching the weak point of Starkiller Base II. So Ben and Rey were left alone and they too wandered out together while Rey immediately questioned him with raised eyebrows in suspicion about that short conversation with Poe:

"Ben. I saw you and Poe. How bad is it what you are planning?"

He walked next to her and glanced sideways as he answered with the side of his mouth tucking upwards just the slightest bit as if he was suppressing a grin:

"Bad enough for two us to go outside now, so I can explain it."

"Stars..."

Rey groaned as she assumed the worst. They left through the hangar and took a walk together outside until they reached the place she deforested at some point because she was angry on their force connection breaking off the moment they wanted to share their first kiss after they fought over the carpet bombing.  
Since then it somehow became her favourite spot in the forest as the sun shone through the gap between the trees and the stumps served nicely as seats when she wanted to take a break from her training.  
Ben glanced around and looked at all these ripped out trees until his eyes darted to Rey and he stated:

"I recognize this place. You were here after my attack on Kessel. So you tore out some more trees? On whom did you throw these?"

"I didn't throw trees at anyone except for you."

She sneered at him and plopped down onto a tree stump with her arms folded in front of her chest, while he walked alongside one of the fallen down trees and slowly brushed his gloved palm over the bark, as he remarked with a deep voice, which gave her goosebumps:

"Hmmhm. So I should feel honoured about it."

Rey rolled her eyes and snapped back jokingly:

"Yeah, that was my way of telling you how much I liked you back then. So, out with it: What's up with Poe and you?"

Ben kept walking along the other trees, brushing his palm over the bark as if he still felt the force with which Rey ripped them out before,  
then he turned around and eyed her as he smirked a bit:

"When Leia and I talked about the electro-proton bomb..."

Rey interrupted him suddenly with a groan and he held his mouth shut suddenly by her reaction:

" _Maker_...ok I know where this is going...Okay. Keep on."

" _Thank you_." He remarked sarcastically to her interruption, then continued:

"Dameron thought of Leia's decision to be the wrong one and wants to take every chance he gets to get this First Order's fleet down.  
I talked to him and he'll be gathering other trustworthy people who would be willing to disobey Leia's order...We'll meet in approximately two hours with all of them."

"Yep. Poe is an absolute _expert_ at blowing things up, as well as disobeying orders. Phew, poor Leia."

"She should have seen it coming. Staying diplomatic in a war is impossible if you want to reach certain goals."

Rey huffed out at the thought of betraying Leia once again until she realized Ben didn't even ask her yet to participate but at least told her about his plan.  
So she asked with a raised eyebrow, in the hope he'll answer what she wanted to hear:

"You planned on asking me too, did you?"

Ben walked forward and squatted down in front of her, bringing his face to a lower level than hers so she had to look down on him,  
while he propped up his elbows on her knees and brushed his thumb alongside her arm as he answered:

"No. Because I knew you'll stand with me, without the need to ask you."

She exhaled in a huff but in the end smiled, as he was absolutely right with it. This wasn't the answer she expected, but it was an even better one.  
Apart from her never letting Ben go on such suicidal missions alone anymore, she too thought that Leia is missing out a great chance to get rid of several First Order battleships as well as the superweapons they contain as well as stop the occupation with it.  
Rey stroked alongside his cheek and raked her fingers through his hair, while she grinned at him:

"Seems you were perfectly right about that."

She stated and cupped his, from this perspective absolutely sweet looking face between her palms and leaned downwards to kiss him for about the 100th time today.  
Still, his lips tasted so sweet and were a little puffy against hers as she slipped the tip of her tongue slowly against his which he returned as carefully as she gave it to him, while his arms rested on her thighs. To her, it was absolutely fascinating how they were able to find pretty much everything about each other arousing, to a degree  
where they were about to devour each other right on the spot, as well as they were able, just like they did right now to bathe in each other's presence, the mutual trust and love and just be sweet together without any sexual feelings behind it.

It was already getting dark outside and with a smooching sound she parted from his lips but directly gave him another short kiss, to which he just grinned a bit,  
making her insides tingle by doing so until she looked up and sarcastically said with a bitter smile:

"It's getting dark already. I'll gather some wood and start a fire so we won't be sitting in complete darkness when we'll plan our betrayal of pretty much everyone here as well as your mother."

"Then - show me your lightsaber skills."

Ben ordered, while he pulled his palms on her knees and pressed himself up as he gave her a kiss on the forehead and stepped back, so she could stand up too.  
Rey grinned and ignited her lightsaber to chop down several trees into smaller pieces, while he watched her with his arms folded in front of his chest.  
As she was just swinging it sideways to slice through a still intact tree, her lightsaber was suddenly stopped by his red crossguard one and they met with a sizzling sound.  
Suddenly her heart started pounding excitedly against her chest, as the last time their lightsabers clashed was when he tried to hunt her down on the first Starkiller Base.  
Her eyes darted at his and she inhaled sharply while both their faces were illuminated by blue as well as red light, while he slowly let his blade glide back and forth on hers which produced a crackling sound. Rey knew he was challenging her right now and waited for her reaction. She felt nervous suddenly but was sure it was just some kind of play or even training and he would watch out not to hurt her, while she too had no intention of doing so.  
So she gave him, what he wanted with a smirk and pulled her lightsaber back and so, the dance between the two force users began.

In one swift motion, she swirled around to instantly lunge out again and bring the blade down against his, which he blocked by shoving it aside.  
Then Rey slashed it sideways as he jumped back to avoid the attack and reacted by plunging it forward.  
She reacted fast and ducked away while tackling his chest, which let him stumble back a bit in surprise with his saber above his head and she used the opening to pull up her own weapon and slice it down, but he dodged it and again the lightsabers clashed with a sizzling sound, directly above their heads and Rey thought she could smell strands of her hair melting under it.  
Again their faces were illuminated by both colours and were just inches apart from each other as she blinked from these bright lights above them.  
This scene strangely reminding her of the one when they fought and he offered her to show her 'the ways of force', but this time it was a completely different situation. Instead of hate and fear, she felt an utter sense of belonging and love radiating between them and instead of looking confused or angry at him, she was smiling and leaned forward fast to give him a small kiss, which obviously distracted him enough, for her to be able to kick him in his stomach and he groaned out, while pulling his lightsaber down.

"That's cheating!"

He yelled out while lashing forward again to directly strike at her with a smirk on his lips.  
His blows were suddenly much stronger until Rey realized he probably held back the whole time and she now had trouble to keep her lightsaber still up against his,  
as he was just pressing it away by his pure strength every time.  
She grunted in effort while holding against him, but suddenly had the idea to turn her saber off for a split second and instantly ignite it again, after his weapon glided through the space where hers was before, so she was able to push his from the other side away.  
His arms followed her movement and with a surprised glance at her and he instantly reacted by ducking away from her while she already slashed above his head.  
He twirled around and grabbed her torso with one arm, to tackle her rudely down on the ground where she landed with a groan because it actually hurt to fall on to the hard, earthy surface between the trees.  
When she laid on her back, he instantly brought down his red lightsaber over her head and she blocked it the last second.  
They now were both locked right above her face and she had to grab the hilt with both her hands to have enough strength to press against him.

By now it was completely dark in the forest and the only light source were their lightsabers flickering between them,  
lighting everything up in a mixture of both their weapons colours.  
Ben loomed over her and pressed his weapon down with one hand, but soon dropped down to his knees and positioned himself right over her hips as he pushed further and she grunted from her through effort trembling arms.  
He let go one hand from his hilt and started stroking her side slowly, while he leaned down to directly look into her eyes and purred out:

"Do you have just the slightest idea how amazing you are right now?"

"Yeah!"

She answered with a self-confident grin, the moment she pulled her legs as far apart as she was able to, which pressed his thighs apart as well and let him lose his balance as he had to support himself on the ground with one arm stretched behind his back, which she used to shove him sideways and tackle him down, making him fall onto his stomach and be pressed into the earthy forest floor by her weight.  
Rey immediately jumped onto his back and pushed his hand without the lightsaber down, whilst she pressed the other one down with her own weapon,  
while he tried to defend himself from this really unfortunate position.  
But in the end, she was able to press his saber completely down to the ground, where it started to burn itself into the plants with a sizzling noise and smoke rising until he turned it off and just relaxed under her until he growled out defeated:

"You won."

She turned hers off to and started laughing maniacally as she right now sat on Ben's back, twisting and pinning his one arm behind him, as well as his other above his head and she proudly announced with sarcasm dripping from her voice:

"Hahahaaa I conquered the mighty Ben Solo! Supreme Master of...stars...what are you master of right now? Neither First Order nor the knights of Ren anymore!  
What shall we call you then?  
Master of giving me 7 orgasms in a matter of 4 hours?"

Ben snorted loudly, while his cheek laid in the dirt of the forest floor beneath her, as he sneered out:

"Please make this my official title. I want you to announce that every time I enter a room with you, kneeling down in front of me."

* * *

 **And thus - we witnessed the beginning of another bromance!  
Seriously, I think if Ben wouldn't have fallen to the dark side Ben and Poe would be slaying everything together as best friends.**


	35. Chapter 35: This bomb!

**And the bromance between Ben and Poe continues.**

* * *

Rey was absolutely aware that Ben let her win deliberately and was not fighting with his full power at all,  
but she was also sure he was surprised at least one or two times by her actions during their fight judging by his staggered expression.  
After they jokingly agreed on his new master title they decided to keep on with some lightsaber fighting as they still had about one and a half hours to dawdle away until the others will join them.  
Their fighting became more intense with every round, as he was obviously probing her how far he can go without seriously hurting each other.  
But he didn't go easy on her, as well as she didn't go easy on him and there were scratches, burned hair strands, bruises and several trees were chopped off and caught fire in the process. But every now and then they paused when Ben explained her something about holding the weapon differently,  
changing her stance, focusing the force better and several other bits of advice which she greatly took and directly tried to correct afterwards.  
Which indeed improved her fighting instantly and made her again realize how good he is as a teacher to her.  
In between, they took their time to stupidly grin or catch a kiss from the other, to ease the intense fight and just because they realized how good they were at training together and probably because both had fun at play fighting against someone the first time in their lives, instead of fighting to survive.

So when Poe and the other rebels arrived and both force users were in the middle of an intense fight, while burning leaves fell down from the ignited trees,  
which they had accidentally sliced with their lightsabers and both of them were covered in grime from the forest floor as well as at least Rey had several bruises on her arms, Finn was about to snap at Ben once again, but Poe reassured him not to and let them be.  
Rey and Ben stood in front of each other and both realized the other rebels were approaching, but that didn't stop them as they were locked in an intense standoff.  
Rey stood on top of a fallen over tree, striking her lightsaber down while Ben parried it above his head with a grunt and shoved it away to one side, darted forward and grabbed with his other arm around her waist, to just heave her up while both held their sabers sideways away from their bodies as Rey gasped in surprise from being uplifted by him.

But the second she realized he had heaved her up to end their fight because the others waited for them to finish, she just grinned and leaned down a bit to give him a short kiss and both turned off their lightsabers while he let her down slowly to the ground again, while both stared at each other with a loving glance and panted slightly from the exhausting fight.  
They both turned around and looked at the other rebels who had watched them with interest until Rose exclaimed with a huge smile:

"That was so beautiful! You two looked like you were dancing!"

Rey bowed down overdramatically several times as if she had just given a performance,  
while Ben clasped his lightsaber to his belt again and rubbed his face clean as it was partly covered in grime and sweat from their training.  
Poe clapped slowly and announced jokingly while nodding to the burning trees around them:

"Ladies and Gentleman, here you can see our newest addition to the Resistance:  
Two force users who can burn down half the forest by wagging around with their magic light sticks!"

Ben rolled his eyes in annoyance while Rey laughed out loud and everybody sat down, funnily Poe and Ben next to each other.  
Rey seriously wondered what exactly happened between these two that made them somehow overcome their differences, as it didn't seem like they talked to each other for more than some seconds in the situation room or all these times they were bickering at each other since Ben arrived at the base.  
So she was really keen to see what this meeting will bring.  
The people who came were Finn, Rose, Poe, Lieteunant Connix as well as several others who had already aided Poe with his small, but useless revolt against General Holdo some time ago.  
Suddenly BB-8 came rolling towards them too from somewhere in the forest and Poe greeted him with outstretched arms, but instead of going to the pilot, BB-8 started bleeping and screeching in high pitched tones, all of them which were insults directed at Ben, to whom the droid rolled in highspeed,  
while he watched it with raised eyebrows.  
When the droid reached Ben's knees it extended its little metal arms and tried to shock him while still bleeping aggressively, but he just pressed his boot against it with his arms folded in front of his chest, while he eyed Poe suspiciously and commented:

"Your droid is clearly malfunctioning."

Poe snorted at that and answered:

"Oh no. BB-8 is perfectly fine. He just doesn't like you for obvious reasons."

"Doesn't like me? You are aware that droids do not feel emotions or have likes and dislikes, do you?"

Ben queried with a frown, more like a rhetorical question while BB-8 now tried to burn his boots with the little flamer the droid possessed to which Ben had to change his feet and kick him back with his other leg. Rey watched this whole scene and had to hold back a laugh as it just looked incredibly funny right now and she granted BB-8 his little revenge as she commented a little resentfully:

"Ben! You are hurting BB-8's feelings by telling it, that it can't have any."

Ben looked at her a little shocked, then perplexed as if he tried to find out if she was kidding him or not. When he saw that she was indeed not kidding,  
he huffed out in annoyance, rubbed his scar with one gloved hand and kicked the droid off into Poe's direction as he hissed out with a frown:

"Make this thing stop, or I will."

Poe glared at him with a scoff, then nodded over to the droid and ordered cheekily:

"Come on over BB-8, buddy. Thanks for showing him, I think he totally understood and I am sure he'll apologize to you later."

Again Benn rolled his eyes and balled his fists and Rey didn't know if he'd jump up any second to choke Poe, or force punch BB-8 into the sky as he did with the Porgs.  
He did neither but instead tried to relax again by lying his palms flat on his knees and looking at the group of rebels who had by now just observe the whole scene without commenting it. Then he inhaled and started to explain:

"Commander Dameron gathered you tonight on my behalf. I am sure he informed you about why you are here and we will go through the plan step by step to make you understand what exactly is going to happen.  
As you all perceived in the situation room today, General Organa once again tries to stay true to law and order. This might be honourable on several accounts, but not when the galaxy is at war and the First Order is gaining territory with each passing hour. I am certain this night, or tomorrow they are going to reform the police forces all over the systems and thus the oppression of the civilians will begin. Having 8 battleships, including 2 superweapons in one place is a massive advantage, as we'll be able to take out all of them in one go if we are doing this right, which will give the local populace a realistic chance to fight off the ground forces themselves, thus liberating the planet from its occupation. I am certain, they'll broadcast the execution of every senator this night as well as announce the taking over of the government as..."

Then Ben got interrupted by one rebel, who held up his holopad and wagged it around, while he explained:

"Nah...they already announced it an hour ago. Guess you just didn't see it, while you were here in the forest.  
The galactic senate is gone, everybody was murdered and the Coruscant system is in the middle being adjusted to a rule by the First Order right now and yep they are replacing the heads of every police forces as well as occupying every weapon and ship factory on the planet. People are already taken as political prisoners right now."

Ben stared at the rebel and listened, nodded in acknowledgement then his eyes darted over to Rey who looked at him a little shocked.  
Poe cleared his throat, ordered BB-8 to project a three-dimensional map of Coruscant above their heads, where he pointed at several locations while explaining:

"So, yeah everything happens exactly as you have foretold us, which is actually bad - but more so over can be used as an advantage for us.  
We have these 8 battleships. They are positioned here, here, there and here and so on. Most of them are positioned above these factories,  
as well as above hangars to control air traffic.  
All but one: The Nihilius. This one is actually directly above a densely populated area of the city as it was the one from which the execution of the senators was performed.  
As you might remember this one was also the one with the electro-proton bomb on it. If you are not familiar with these kinds of bombs:  
They are considered a super weapon, because once dropped they will release a huge electromagnetic shockwave all over the planet's surface which will disable any electronic device, including ships, blasters, commlinks, droids just fucking everything actually which is powered by electricity.  
Everything should go back to normal after 1 to 10 hours, depending on which kind of device is affected.  
Which means - there is enough time for the ships to drop down from the sky and go out with one huge explosion!"

Poe mimicked explosions with his hands and made 'phew phew' noises while doing so, as Ben glanced over with a raised eyebrow and arms folded in front of his chest.  
Rey seriously wondered right now, when both men had the time to talk about all of this until she realized they sat nearly two hours next to each other in the situation room during the meeting before, without moving or saying anything and she was now absolutely sure that Ben had communicated with Poe through his mind.  
Probably the pilot was mind pried by Ben and answered through thinking his answers. Really smart, Rey thought and grinned inwardly at how these two worked together right now without her doing or aid at all, but by their sole common interest to bring these ships down. And maybe because they both had the same level of craziness regarding suicidal missions and blowing things up. While Poe was still occupied with pondering about how big exactly these explosions could be, Ben continued:

"That's the goal of the mission. Acquire access to the bomb, ignite it, bring all the battleships down in one swift process. The tricky part is to get to these bomb of course without notice.  
The whole airspace is controlled by the First Order right now of course. So If we just fly over, we will be shot down immediately.  
Luckily Rey and Poe already found a tactic to go unnoticed, which requires a certain skill as a pilot, but works if its done right - and if the ship survives it."

Everyone looked bewildered at him, as they wondered why he said 'if it survives' until Finn asked half sarcastically, half distressed while he waved his hands in front of his chest in denial:

"Stars. Don't tell me you plan to land on a Dreadnought via jumping out of hyperspace as we did on Starkiller Base I and II? No No No. Naaah. You don't!  
I am sure that's not what you wanted to say, as this would be plain insane and we would all just die as the ship would with dead certainty crash down on the surface.  
It's not like you have the whole atmosphere between jumping out of hyperspace and stopping the ship.  
So...uhm yeah please continue, as this was most certainly not what you wanted to say at all, didn't you?"

Everybody looked at Finn, then to Ben and waited for his answer. Ben stared at Finn with knitted eyebrows, then he pressed his lips together while the former stormtrooper rambled about his concerns until he clarified:

"Actually - that's exactly what we plan to do. I am aware that this is a seriously dangerous manoeuvre and probably no normal human being would be able to pull this off.  
As you are all well aware Rey and I share a force bond and we are able to recognize dangers seconds before they happen, she already landed the Falcon on Starkiller Base II with this move and we can amplify our power when we are balanced.  
So I am absolutely certain, if we fly the ship, the force will guide us in landing it safely on the Nihilus without crashing it in the process."

Rey's head suddenly spun around to Ben with widened eyes and she pointed at herself mouthing a 'Me?' in disbelief, but he just dipped his head down and stared at her.  
Poe shuffled his seating position a bit and changed the projection on BB-8 to some blueprints of the dreadnought they plan to land on. Then he continued:

"Yep, that's exactly the plan. If we crash, yeah then we are all kind of dead or something I guess. But I mean, who cares?  
We are dead people anyway if we don't do something soon as the First Order will certainly find us these upcoming days, or headhunters, or the police, or space pirates,  
or actually anybody interested in gaining a fat bounty. So better be the first one to attack, instead of waiting for them to get us.  
So everybody still listens? Good. So after Rey and Ben - did not crash the ship to our deaths on the dreadnought, but totally smoothly landed it underneath so we won't be detected, we will dock it on the outer hull, climb out, go down thiiiiiiiis way."

Poe gestured through the whole explanation, showing everyone where they'd plan to go and to land on the projection made by BB-8.

"Then we'll reach a small armoury where we'll get stormtrooper uniforms to move freely around the ship. From there we will divide into three divisions.  
The first one will go to the communication room and order the total termination of every air traffic on the planet, so no other ship, except for the First Order ships will fall from the sky.  
The second team will go the command bridge, overpower the generals and steer the dreadnought away from the populated area so there will be as few as possible civil casualties.  
The third team will ignite the electro-proton bomb and afterwards we need to get off the ship as fast as possible.  
We can't use any ship, of course as they won't work, so we'll need to jump, use parachutes and hope to get as far away as possible so we won't be crushed by this huge battleship falling down on our heads.  
Afterwards, we'll get some drinks, watch the explosions, wait until every other device functions again so we can fly back to the base and explain Leia everything.  
That's actually the part of which I am most frightened of. She can be really menacing sometimes if you don't follow her orders."

The whole group of rebels stared back and forth between Ben and Poe as if they just suggested for everybody to shoot themselves.  
Even Rey looked at them in shock as she just now realized what they already planned out in detail and it suddenly occurred to her, that they both right now looked like two brothers who just presented their master plan to play the biggest prank in the whole galaxy to their mother.  
Of course, Leia was only Ben's mother, not Poe's but she obviously was in some kind of motherly role with the pilot and just now Rey realized how many similarities they both shared when it came to planning out dangerous missions together as well as evade orders from Leia, and being sarcastic or snippy to each other.  
After she had overcome the first shock of hearing this whole plan out, she started to relax as she was sure the two men hadn't come up with it,  
if they didn't see a chance of survival. So she grinned and affirmed:

"I think both of you are insane, this plan is insane and everybody who wants to take part in this must be insane too. But sounds good enough for me,  
I think we can pull it off and I am with you on this."

Ben's eyes darted to hers and he pressed his lips together a bit, while the side of his mouth twitched up to something like a proud, knowing smirk while Poe just grinned widely, nodded and then looked into the group of the other rebels, waiting for their affirmation.  
Finn inhaled deeply, then exhaled to calm down while Rose seemed to be totally mesmerized while the other rebels looked as if they were deep in thought,  
going over the plan in their heads.  
Suddenly Rose beamed at them, while everybody looked at her:

"I am positive we can do this. I suggest Finn and I take BB-8, disguised as a First Order droid with us and will act as the division that ignites the electro-proton bomb,  
as it's not just pressing a button, but putting in different sequences to fire such a weapon in which we both have knowledge of. Ben, Rey, Poe and whoever wants to go with them, make the team who will overpower the command bridge as there will be the most fighting. I guess with two force users it might be easier.  
Lieutenant Connix and the rest will do the communication with Coruscant to cease air traffic as you are most familiar with different communication control boards and how to announce such things, so it sounds official."

"So I need to go too if you go. Kriff. Okay, I'll do it. I can give you some insights beforehand how to act like a stormtrooper so nobody will attract attention while we move around on the ship. After all of this is through, we really need some fucking drinks then. This sounds crazy as hell and I am actually not sure anymore who of you two has more of a bad influence on the other one right now."

Finn groaned and looked back and forth between Ben and Poe as he talked about the bad influence of each other, probably regarding them doing dangerous missions as well as blowing things up. Poe grinned widely and looked over at Ben, who looked bored as he let his head rest on his palm and stared back at Finn.  
Rey felt motivation bubbling up inside of her chest and she had to press her lips together to not cry out in anticipation. But she stated with a wide grin:

"Stepping up our game from bringing 2 small ships down from the sky, to 8 huge battleships? Sounds good enough to me. When do we start?"

* * *

 **Did you realize that Rey had the high ground when they were fighting?  
She stood on a tree stump, looming above Ben. But instead of striking him down, they just decided to kiss each other. Awwww!  
To anyone who wonders who Lieutenant Connix ist: It's the young woman with blond hair and these two buns on top of her head,  
who helped Poe with his revolt against Admiral Holdo in The last Jedi. In real life, she is Carrie Fisher's daughter.**


	36. Chapter 36: Damn birds!

**I updated the stories description as well as the picture for it. Did the picture myself and am totally in love with it, take a look :D**

 **littleluny: Aww thank you I would love to have some cinnamon rolls!**  
 **megumisakura: Thank you for reading!**

* * *

After they discussed their plan elaborately in the group and afterwards split up, Rey and Ben went back to the base finally and entered her room,  
as they planned to depart really early the next morning to not get discovered by any other rebels.  
Once again this was such an extraordinarily long day, absolutely crammed full with action and things to plan, important people to meet, as well as having the most breathtaking sex Rey ever experienced in her whole life and finally also finding some time to train lightsaber combat somehow in between,  
while making plans to free a whole system from the First Order occupation by founding a small, more radical rebel group inside the Resistance itself.

Since Ben betrayed the First Order shit was going down extremely fast and they had to react to everything in an instant to still have a chance to bring balance and in the end plainly survive this whole war. There was no more time to dawdle around, but more so over everything was planned out throughout the day and their schedules were completely full from early morning to the late night. So Rey was extremely exhausted and yawned the whole time on their way back, while Ben was cautious as always but she saw him blinking more often than he usually would.

At some point, Rey asked Ben about how he communicated with Poe, which was exactly like she thought he did. Prying into the pilot's mind, while he then thought his answers in return, so Ben would be able to read them. This was actually a good way of communicating in secret if Ben was the one who'd initiate the conversation,  
but no one was able to get through to him like that when someone, or to be exact Rey, wanted to talk to him.  
While they were both finally getting ready for bed, Rey just pulled her big sleeping shirt over herself, not minding her nakedness in front of him anymore at all,  
as he already had seen every inch of her body today by now and asked:

"Ben, you often listen to my thoughts. I know you can't do anything against it. But what if I want to talk to you for an instant?  
I can't hear your thoughts, but what if I need to tell you something? What if we are in a dangerous situation tomorrow and I need to warn you or ask for help?  
I don't want to pry into you with the force like we did to each other on Starkiller Base back then.  
And you can't possibly concentrate enough to hear my thoughts all the time. Which I actually don't want anyway. So how do you do it?  
Talking in my head without hurting me?"

He sat on the bed and flipped through the pages of the old Jedi bocks as if he was searching for something until he looked up and answered a little cryptically:

"It's not hard if the one receiving it has an open mind to the one transmitting it."

Rey pondered about what he just said and then knitted her eyebrows together as she stated a little disappointed:

"So, you are saying you don't have an open mind to me, while I have an open one to you?"

Ben clasped the book closed in his hands and held it between his knees as he looked down for a second, then exhaled and looked up at her again as if it was somehow hard for him to answer to this question, while he laid the book aside:

"You remember how Snoke said, that he can see my mind, my very intend?  
Back then when I joined the First Order it started out slow and less often, but over the years it grew constant.  
I couldn't hide any thought from him anymore. He knew everything about me. My beliefs, my emotions, my conflicts.  
I started to learn how to cloud and alter my mind. Never enough, for he would have noticed it, never enough to shut him out completely.  
But I built up a constant defence against his prying into my head.  
It is so constant, I have to focus on not defending it, as I do it automatically by now.  
I am aware that you sometimes can feel my emotions, but you'll never hear my thoughts or talk in my mind except when I deliberately let you.  
So - yes, your mind is open to me, my mind is closed to everyone, including you."

Again a new horrible thing she learned about Ben's past. Of course, she heard Snoke saying this line back then and she understood that he pried into Ben's mind at this very moment he ordered him to kill her. But she never knew it was so regular that Ben had to live through it every waking hour, so far that he had to build a defence which became a constant companion in his mind. So he heard people thoughts, while simultaneously tried to fend off the mind prying from Snoke.  
No wonder he was so incredibly torn when she first met him. Who wouldn't be torn by this?

Also, the realisation hit her that he would never have been able to get away from his former master with Snoke clawing through his mind the whole time,  
as he would have known beforehand if Ben ever planned on abandoning the First Order.  
She slowly walked towards him and their eyes were fixed on each other until she kneeled before his sitting form and laid both her arms on his knees and her chin on top of them as she stared up at him.  
He looked down at her with a slightly troubled gaze and she had to fight back tears after hearing about what he had to live through these past years until she asked in a hushed voice:

"Ben? You can let your defences down around me. I will never hurt you, or pry into your mind without you allowing it. I want you to know that.  
I know we can do that. I talked in your mind when we melded our force together because you let me because we were at balance.  
I tell you that because I am nervous about tomorrow. We never went on a mission, we were only in extreme, life-threatening situations together which weren't planned before. I just want us to...I don't know. Understand each other tomorrow? Work as a team?  
Make sure we both get out there alive, not just me. I want you to be alive tomorrow too. You remember? No suicidal stunts without me anymore. "

Ben listened to her explanation closely while slowly pulling out all the three hair ties from the buns on the back of her head, to rake his fingers slowly through her brown,  
silky hair. Then he blinked two times and his thumb brushed over the length of her nose until he reached the tip of it. Eventually, he leaned down to brush his lips against her forehead and prompted her in a low voice:  
"I understand. Try it - right now. I'll let you in."

Rey suddenly felt excited as she mostly did not know what he was thinking or feeling, while he, on the other hand, was able to know it from her nearly all the time.  
She didn't want to invade his privacy, but not understanding him or his actions right now as well as not being able to talk to him,  
while he was able to talk to her would maybe play out to be fatal in upcoming situations like tomorrow, while he still was not a stable personality at all.

Her eyes darted back and forth between his, as she again searched for allowance, but his gaze was so determined she lost her doubts in an instant.  
So she tried to focus, as she did back on Starkiller base when she accidentally slipped into his mind while he tried to torture her.  
Rey didn't want to hurt him, as she knew from the experience with Snoke that it can extremely hurt if someone invades the mind of an individual,  
as well as she didn't want him to be reminded of Snoke's claws which were hovering over his mind all these years.  
Rey tried it with such a soft approach as if a feather would brush over someone's skin while surrounding herself with light, focused on his breathing and kept her eyes fixed on his while he too stared back at her's from above with these brown orbs she learned to love so much.  
Suddenly she felt as if she was falling - then floating - into a deep, dark pond and she started to shiver as her skin instantly got goosebumps from the sensation,  
while somewhere far away shreds of his voice were suddenly to be heard, telling himself:

 _'...Don't let her fall...side...my mind.'_

'Ben?'

She asked tentatively in his mind, while she heard his muffled thoughts spiralling around in his head like an underwater turmoil and she just understood snippets of it,  
while his direct answers to her were clearly to be heard. So she tried to focus on what he answered her, not on all these other thoughts surrounding his mind as it was too overwhelming.

'...Yes?'  
'...Using this name...still odd...'

He asked a little hesitantly, confirming that she indeed entered his mind and he was right now adjusting to it while his eyes darted back and forth between hers.  
Again Rey heard these snippets, obviously, he found it still odd to be called Ben by her, which was understandable, as Snoke forbid everyone in the whole First Order to use his birth name since he joined. The first one who had ever spoken it aloud to him after years was his father when he called for Ben on the bridge.  
Even then he forbade his own father to use it, whilst Rey was the first one he ever allowed to call him like that again.

'Why did you think right now, you would let me fall? Where to?'

Rey asked again while she slowly brushed his arm, as she felt him tense up by her roaming around in his mind,  
probably feeling uneasy as she heard something he didn't want her to hear.  
It still felt extremely dark and he sounded as if he was far away and still only pieces of his mind came forward,  
but she was somehow shining her own way through this complex and partly tangled mind of his to better understand him and keep the connection stable.  
After some time he thought his answer aloud, so she could hear it while he balled his hands into fists on top of his knees:

 _'Fall to the dark side. I am aware of the state of my mind and I don't want you to get tainted by it.'  
_

Rey grinned a bit and just stuck her index finger between his balled fists as she slowly pulled them apart, so he'd be more relaxed again while he watched her with knitted eyebrows doing so. Then she leaned forward, kissed the knuckles of each hand until his tensely pressed together lips opened a little to let out a quiet huff, followed by the smallest smirk while he simultaneously looked at her cheeks and obviously thought about her freckles as she heard by more snippets of his mind which just flew past her like a cool breeze.

'Stars...the freckles...does she know how sweet...'

Rey answered with a grin playing on her lips, by hearing how he thought about her appearance:

' _If anybody is tainting anyone here, it's me tainting your mind with light. Do you actually realize how much you started to smile since you came here?'_

 _'No.'_

He plainly answered. Then he bit his bottom lip a bit, probably to hold back the smile, so his two slightly crooked front teeth showed again which still was the sweetest thing in the whole galaxy she thought. She pulled herself out of his mind, grinned too and tugged him down, to cup his face and kiss those full lips of his, as she mumbled against the corner of his mouth:

"You are smiling right now actually."

She felt his lips curling upwards even more while he brushed some strands of hair behind her ear and kissed her back softly.  
When their heads parted his eyes searched hers and where he was tense before, he now looked totally relaxed as he obviously didn't perceive it as an intrusion anymore when she did it, in comparison to when Snoke did it all these years. Then she asked out aloud again, what she wanted to ask from the beginning and why she actually started this conversation in the first place:

"Thank you for letting me in. Will you allow me to do this tomorrow too when I need to talk to you? Just in case something happens?"

"Yes. I might not open my mind immediately as I need to be balanced for it, but I'll try to.  
You were right when you said it's unfair that I can talk into your mind, while you can't talk into mine. We shall be equals."

He answered while she laid her head sideways with the cheek on his knees as he let his fingers gently brush through her hair.  
She 'hmmhd' in acknowledgement to him saying they shall be equals while his stroking made her suddenly really sleepy and it just felt so gentle right now,  
she closed her eyes and just savoured the mutual feeling of trust they both shared at the moment, hoping everything will work out the next day how they planned it to be,  
while she still kneeled in front of him. It was nice of him to say they shall be equals, but she knew they weren't if it came down to knowledge and usage of the force.  
If she would break it down, he'd be of course superior to her, as he had years and years of training in Luke's academy, as well as he was under Snoke's tutelage and she held a lightsaber in her hands the first time just months ago - and managed to break it as well as nearly make it explode too.

But she liked the idea of him trying not to see them on different levels, but more so over as equals while he was helping her to become stronger every day and find out more about herself and the force, while she too helped him to find his way back to the light and keep balance in his tormented mind.  
She yawned once again, as she already felt sleep crawling into her mind while he still slowly brushed her head as if he too just savoured this mutual understanding they shared right now.  
After some time he suddenly raised her up from the kneeling position and pulled her body on top of his, so she lied directly on his chest as he let himself fall down onto his back, laid his arms around her and scolded her jokingly:

"Being equals also means not sleeping on the floor Rey!"

"Stars...I am so tired right now. Let's just sleep - aaand not die tomorrow. Please."

Rey mumbled out and nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck, while he just held her close to him.  
Somehow she had the feeling, he too was a bit frightened for the next day as still everything about the plan sounded just as insane as it could possibly be.  
She knew from her previous missions he was scared for her life several times and tried to talk her out of it, while she too was scared for him after learning about these assassination attempts on him.  
But this was the first time, they'd be together on a mission and she was absolutely certain they both will do everything in their power to protect each other's lives.

* * *

It was really early in the morning when they woke up after she had fallen asleep on his chest, embraced in his strong arms, while they didn't even care to get a blanket or anything anymore as they just slumbered away seconds later after their conversation yesterday.  
They stood up together and everything happened really fast afterwards as if they acted completely on autopilot.  
Got dressed, clouded their presence, slipped out of the base without anybody noticing, met with the others outside, stole a ship where everybody fits in and jumped to hyperspace.

Everybody seemed nervous, except for Poe and Ben. Poe was in a good mood, joking around, while Ben seemed concentrated and serious.  
They had to fly for one hour until they'd reach Coruscant and once again talked through their plan, so everybody knew exactly what each one's task was.  
Rey understood now why Ben always mocked the Resistance for their lack of information they were granting their pilots as he on the other side was extremely determined for everyone to be aware what they were doing, how they are going to do it and gave them a clarification of the possible dangers they are going to encounter.  
She was glad he did this, as it made her feel safer, knowing what would be happening if everything went according to plan, instead of wildly jumping into the action like she usually did with the Resistance sometimes.  
Rey and Ben were controlling the ship, sitting next to each other in the pilot's chair and the time came, where they finally had to somehow land it right under the Nihilus by jumping out of hyperspace.  
For once Rey was the one who was more experienced when it came to landing a ship like this and she announced to the others with a somehow nervous voice:

"Okay guys, we are going to jump out of hyperspace now. This will nearly crush our bodies by the G-forces when we'll decelerate, you might become unconscious for a few seconds or at least feel extremely bad. So buckle up and hold on to...actually anything...Can somebody get a hold of BB-8? He'll shoot around like a cannonball if he's not fixed somewhere!"

BB-8 bleeped around and fixed himself as well as all the others with several metal wires he shot out of his small droid body.  
Rey looked amazed at it while she heard Finn muttering several swear words as well as prayers as he obviously was a second away from losing his shit,  
while Poe gave her a thumbs up and a wide grin and Rose announced:

"May the force be with us."

Then she turned her head around to Ben as he looked back concentrated and stated in a low voice:

"Let's connect our minds."

Her eyes widened at his offer as he was the one who had problems to bring himself yesterday night to open up his mind and now he even invited her into it.  
But well, she wouldn't say anything about it as she too felt this was the best way to get this ship down without crashing it.  
Rey nodded slowly and felt him opening up, as well as she did. Then she explained to him into his mind:

 _'The board computer will tell us the moment we hit the atmosphere, afterwards it's just us who can feel when to jump out. No technical help anymore'_

 _'We'll need to concentrate on living things. There will be thousands of people on the ship and you'll feel their presence. The moment before we'll come into contact with them,  
we already need to pull back. You need to feel it before you would normally sense them. Like a foreshadow. The same way you felt it before our bond connected every time.'_

He answered as she listened closely and nodded it affirmation:

 _'We will both sense them together.'_

Both now buckled their seatbelts on and readied the ship for jumping out of hyperspace and their hands acted mirrored to each other on the ship's controls.  
Rey heard the others holding their breath's and she as well as Ben closed their eyes to concentrate as she heard the beeping sound of the ship,  
telling them that they just hit the atmosphere.  
Suddenly her skin started to prickle and her heart made a small jump in her chest, but this wasn't the right moment yet...not yet...not yet...not yet...there it was!  
Total silence and then - a heartbeat, a small heartbeat - which was not hers. It was just the small heartbeat of a birdlike creature which was right now landing on the outer hull of the First Order ship. She saw it clearly and the moment before it's little feet touched the surface, she screamed into Ben's mind:

 _'NOW!'_

As well as she heard him scream it back to her at exactly the same moment.  
Both pulled the ship out of hyperspace so hard her hand nearly slipped off the handle and she could hear the ship's metal hull arch from the sudden jolt.  
She felt such a strong yank going through her body all the air was pressed out of her lungs and she groaned in pain while pressing several buttons at once,  
partly crossing hands with Ben as they operated each other's command boards while simultaneously also controlling their own to reroute energy to different parts of the ship.  
The ship got finally slower while the engines were creaking under the strain they put them under and they had to put even more pressure on it to bring it to a complete halt.

Rey opened her eyes, while she heard some of the rebels screaming behind her and she already saw the hull of the First Order ship coming dangerously close to their front window - too close actually. With this speed, they are definitely going to crash against it. So she did the only thing she could think of to still save them all.  
She completely let go of the controls and reached her hand out to the front window, as she talked into Ben's mind:

 _'Use the force.'  
_  
He too instantly let go of the controls and reached his hand out next to hers while somebody in the background screamed at them if they were crazy,  
but they found their breathing, their balance and released the force directly in front of the ship and it slowed down more and more until it came to a complete halt just inches above the metallic surface of the Nihilus.  
Then Rey suddenly saw it. The birdlike creature she saw before, landed in the space between their ship and the dreadnought.  
Exactly as she had seen it before as if she had a force vision.  
It hasn't even realized while it landed that it's nearly going to be squished between two ships, it just realized it as soon as its small feet touched the ground.

Then it let out a startled: 'krahaaraaaaraaa' and flew away into the sky in an instant.

Rey and Ben panted next to each other from the pent-up tension until he suddenly pointed forward to the bolting bird and screamed:

"THAT FUCKING BIRD! KRIFF THIS FUCKING PIECE OF BANTHA FODDER SHITBIRD! FUCKING CREATURE!"

Rey's eyes widened at his outburst until she laughed out in absolute relief as she realized they somehow survived this insane manoeuvre because of this little mammal as she watched it fly away into the horizon.

"You saw the bird too didn't you?"

Ben stroked his hand through his hair and seemed totally stressed suddenly as he hissed out with as many swear words he was able to squeeze into one sentence:

"Yes I saw these fucking small feet of this kriffin creature landing on the fucking ship. I couldn't concentrate on anything else anymore."

"Stars end! We are freaking alive! What's with you two and that bird suddenly? Why was that damn bird in front of the ship?"

Poe suddenly asked in disbelief and stood up a little wobbly from the pressure they were exposed to before, so he clutched a wall to not fall over.  
Rey and Ben turned around in their chairs and glanced at the others, as she saw Finn looking somehow unconscious, as well as someone puking in the background and the others looking absolutely shocked as if they were still going to die, while Rose suddenly explained really calm:

"It was a Kiro bird. It's said to be a highly intelligent creature, which can understand human language and allegedly also is a force sensitive creature."

Rey unbuckled her belt, as well as Ben and the others did too but didn't dare to stand up as she still felt incredibly dizzy and was sure to just fall down if she'd set one foot on the ground while she answered:

"Well, that might explain, why we were able to feel it through the force. Ben don't be mad at it! It might have saved us by landing there a second before we did."

Ben stood up from the pilot's chair and bent over to press his palms against his knees, probably to somehow feel better after nearly being crushed by these strong G-forces,  
while he looked down at the floor and mumbled out sarcastically:

"Great. Thank you _shitbird_."

Rey giggled at the whole swearing he did since their landing, as it obviously was some kind of stress relief for him right now which again reminded her so much of his mother.  
Rose tried to wake up Finn and another girl behind her, as both had fallen unconscious, while everyone watched her until the former Stormtrooper suddenly snapped his eyes open and looked around perplexed, asking nervously:

"Are we still alive?"

Rose gave him a kiss on the cheek and beamed at him:

"Yup alive and well. A little bird helped us!"

* * *

 **The mind prying Snoke did with Ben: I often read about people comparing it to child predators.  
I too think like that and it's supposed to sound like that too in this chapter.**  
 **Also: Kiro birds are real Star Wars birds, they are really intelligent and understand human language, just the force sensitive part was added by me.  
But it fits the story better like that. Also maybe revenge to Ben being so mean to the Porg's before.**


	37. Chapter 37: Insult

After they landed their ship directly under the outer hull of the Nihilus, with the help of this small flying mammal, while Ben couldn't get over it as he was still mumbling insults at that bird, they slowly started to gain balance on their feet again and readied themselves to board the First Order ship.  
They left their own ship together and climbed around on the metallic surface of the Dreadnought, carefully to not fall down as they were several thousand feet up in the sky. Rey was in the front, guiding the others as she knew from years of scavenging the old empire ships where they could enter without anybody noticing them.

The group reached a ventilation shaft with huge fans inside, which were rotating at high speed to provide the ship with fresh air from the outside.  
Rey stopped the fan blades with the force and everybody climbed through fast until she let them go and they started rotating again,  
blowing a strong gust of wind into their backs the whole time.  
Luckily the ventilation shaft was big enough for everyone to stand upright, even Ben, and they went through it, while Poe ordered BB-8 to open up a small hologram blueprint of the ship's schematics. The group stopped for a moment as they observed the schematic to find out where to go next as this ship was huge and it wasn't exactly easy to find a place where they could appear without being noticed.

Poe pointed at a certain part of the hologram and suggested:

"Take a look, guys! The closest armoury is right there. We can't make it completely through these vents as they don't reach the mentioned room,  
there is one corridor between it we've got to pass where we might have our first enemy contact. Everything has to happen fast and we definitely can't let them ring an alarm or we are fucked."

Everybody understood and nodded as they kept on walking. Again they stood in front of huge rotating fan blades and everybody pressed their bodies flat against the wall,  
so they couldn't be seen from the corridors. Ben moved forward and reached his hand out, while he closed his eyes to use the force and sense for lifeforms outside,  
then turned around and announced:

"There are four Stormtroopers patrolling the corridor into the direction of the armoury. The armoury itself is empty. Rey and I will force pull them to us, you shoot them and we'll hide the bodies here, then proceed to move."

Everybody nodded in affirmation, as Rey reached out her hand, stopped the fan blades and whispered:

"Go!"

They jumped out and the four troopers instantly turned around and reached for their weapons, as one of them yelled in disbelief:

"Kylo Ren?!" And then: "Open fire!"

Rey and Ben ignited their lightsabers and parried the blaster shots, while simultaneously reaching out with their other hand to pull the troopers to them,  
as the others shot them in a quick process. They levitated their bodies behind the fan blades as Rey let them rotate again, so they'd be hidden and without uttering a word everybody proceeded swiftly to the armoury, where Ben directly went to the control pad of the door and typed in a sequence of numbers, until the door opened,  
to which he let out a surprised gasp:

"Pff. These Nerfherders of the First Order didn't even change the sequences..."

The door opened and everybody slipped inside as Ben closed the door and locked it from the inside.  
Everybody exhaled in relief as this was their second step of the mission and so far everything went according to plan.

"Didn't think everything would just run so smoothly..."

One rebel uttered with a huff while everybody started to search for fitting pieces of Stormtrooper armour and got dressed.  
Poe pulled on the white leg protectors, while he sat on a bench and snorted out:

"Oh, believe me, something will happen. I never went on a mission where everything went as planned. I'll bet my arse on it!"

Rey too was getting dressed and pulled out her hair buns, so they wouldn't press against the helmet, while she saw Finn and Ben going over to a rack of armour which looked a little different from the others while they were discussing something. She watched the two men open up a locker and then grinned a bit as she saw that both pulled out armour of high ranked Stormtroopers. Ben, of course, took the black uniform of a Deathtrooper while Finn got the uniform as a Squad leader with an orange pauldron and she saw him getting pretty excited by wearing it as he never wore a high ranked uniform before.

When both men were completely dressed except for the helmets, which they clasped beside their bodies, they went back to the others, as everybody else too was ready.  
They stood next to each other, as Finn explained with a grin to the group:

"Luckily we found these high ranked uniforms, which will help us get around more easily as at least none of the other troopers will try to give us commands because we are the ones who command this squad. Above us are just the Generals, who could command us now. You have to act as if you obey everything we say, salute us and always answer with 'Yes sir' so it is believable."

"Yes, sir!"  
Poe saluted him and clicked his armoured legs together, while he bowed down slightly until Finn snapped at him:

"Don't do that leg thing and don't bow Poe, that's ridiculous! Hold your blaster in front of your body like this and put it to your side when you salute us.  
All of you show me a proper salute and upright posture right now!"

Everyone stood straight and saluted Finn several times as a 'Yes sir!' echoed through the armoury until he was satisfied with their performance.  
He nodded and corrected some of the rebels as how to hold their weapons as well as he changed small parts of their uniform which they wore wrong.  
Rey didn't like to do anything about it at all, but they had to act like real stormtroopers to not attract attention, so this small training made perfect sense.

"The women of our squad have to go on the left side, while the men have to be on the right side. Normally female cadets are not allowed to walk along male troops as it's forbidden to mix them up. If anybody asks, we are escorting you back to the training rooms. We are the ones who will answer any questions in case somebody talks to us, everyone else has to remain quiet as you are just low ranked troopers."

Nobody liked to agree to that, but everybody had to as this was how the First Order's command hierarchy worked so they just nodded in affirmation to Finn's words.  
Ben listened closely to everything and seemed content as Finn obviously exactly knew how to disguise them as troopers, as he was the only one who obviously was one before. Eventually, everyone put on their helmets and suddenly they were a squad of faceless troopers.

Rey tried to remember who everybody was by their body height as they seriously all looked like the same now, except for Ben and Finn who looked differently because of their high ranks and Ben just being huge.  
Rose put a black laundry basket the wrong way round on BB-8 to hide him, while Ben just huffed out and asked if she was serious, to which she replied that it worked perfectly fine the last time. Eventually, Poe's voice came a little distorted through the helmet:

"Okay everybody's ready? Finn and Ben, you know the way. The walk will take about 10 minutes until we reach an elevator, which we need to take all the way to the upper level. Rose, Finn and BB-8 will get out some levels before. Then we'll proceed to the command bridge, pirate this ship and bring it down. Then everything goes boom and we'll have our drinks."

Everybody except for Ben cheered and then took their position as Finn had ordered them before. They both walked in front of the others and Rey just now realized she had never seen Ben holding a blaster which seemed somehow really unfitting for him, but he looked like he knew how to hold it and also looked absolutely menacing in this black uniform, being the biggest one of the group, looming over all the others. Again this whole look reminded her of him before when he still wore his mask and a slight shudder went through her body, thinking back to this time.  
They left the armoury together and instantly passed the first stormtroopers on their way who saluted Ben and Finn every time, even higher ranked ones.  
Everything seemed to go as they planned it until they met a general going their way who looked at them with a raised eyebrow, as he stopped right before the group and ordered them to stop as he looked at Ben and asked suspiciously:

"Stop right there! DT-L3487 why are there female cadets with you?"

"General Virmiss, they've been taken to a medical examination and we are leading them back to the training room.  
Direct orders from General Fribar at 8:21 standard time as there were not enough female commanders on this part of the ship to escort them."

"Ah, yes, yes. Most of them are on the Stormspike right now. Would you escort them to the hangar, so they'll also be brought over to the Stormspike?  
The training rooms are empty right now, so it doesn't really make sense to bring them there. I'll contact General Fribar about it right now."

The general answered and pulled out his commlink and everybody of the group got a little nervous as whoever General Fribar was, he or she obviously didn't know about their mission and they would be busted if the General in front of them contacts the other one.  
Suddenly Ben interrupted the General before he turned on his communication device and said in a monotone voice:

"Affirmative. General Fribar is currently in a meeting, I'll inform her later about your order."

"Well. Perfect, then I don't have to do it. Keep on then DT-L3487."

Ben saluted the general and stomped forward in self-confident steps into another corridor which wasn't the one they planned to go before,  
but instead obviously was the one which would bring them to the hangar as he ordered the others so the General heard them:

"Follow me."

Rey got nervous suddenly as this wasn't planned and they were walking in the wrong direction while she looked left and right to the others to see what they were doing.  
Everybody silently followed Finn and Ben and she saw Rose looking at her too as she shrugged her shoulders a bit, obviously also at a loss what to do.  
After some time they heard Finn's voice a little muffled as he tried to talk quietly, so nobody heard them.

"Ok, we are going the wrong way right now, but we had to or we would have been busted. Any idea where we can turn around?"

"No. I am thinking of a solution right now."

Ben plainly answered in a hushed voice while walking straight forward leading the group through the corridors with the black walls and white lights.  
Rey groaned inwardly as they somehow were trapped right now because they had to go someplace else and didn't have the possibility to walk back at the moment.  
Suddenly Ben walked a little slower, then pulled his hand up to gesture everybody to stop in their tracks.

"Ok. Got something. We'll walk straight through the cantina, there is another elevator next to it, we could take.  
There will be lots of troopers and generals, but I'll cloak our presence for the time we walk through it.  
They'll see us, it will be extremely suspicious, but they'll forget about us in a matter of seconds. If somebody talks to you, ignore them and keep on walking.  
We have to be fast and stay together closely as it takes a lot of concentration for me to cloak all of us."

"Are you sure? That sounds insane! There will be like thousands of troopers!"

Finn pressed out in disbelief pulled up his palms as he glared at Ben while everybody looked around nervously to see if anybody else was coming.

"Yes, I am. Stay close, everybody shut up and follow me. Look straight forward. This is our only chance or else we have to go to the hangar."

"Phew...Ok if you say so. Let's do it then."

Finn exhaled nervously and slowly started walking forwards again, motioning the others to follow. They did and walked to more black walled corridors until they reached a huge metallic door, which opened automatically as soon as they approached it. When it opened Rey could see a huge hall with several thousand Stormtroopers, as well as Generals, sitting, standing and walking around and it was just overwhelming. Do they seriously plan to walk through all of them right now?  
It was one thing to walk through the people on Chandrila as Ben cloaked just the presence of her and him - two people.  
But cloaking the presence of the whole group as they were already highly suspicious walking with male and female cadets around the ship was another thing altogether and she gulped down in fear of being exposed right now between a huge bunch of their enemies.  
Suddenly she heard Ben's voice in her mind, as he said reassuringly:

 _"Don't worry, we'll get through this."_

She looked at his back and carefully brushed his mind too, as she answered in his head:

 _"Good. I trust you. Please stay concentrated."_

 _"I will."_

Ben answered in her mind and gestured the others to follow him now, which they silently did. The moment the group entered the hall, several heads turned around to them and gasps were to be heard as they stared at the obviously much smaller, female troopers. Rey's heart was already beating so much against her chest it started to hurt but suddenly she saw the heads which looked at them before in shock turn around again and continue their chattering and eating as if nothing strange was going on at all.  
While they walked forwards exactly the same behaviour happened several times until one General suddenly stepped right in front of Ben, nearly touching his chest by standing so close and growled with underlying anger in his voice:

"What do you all think you are doing? Female cadets are to be brought to the Stormspike, not walk around the cantina. You are disobeying orders!"

Suddenly Finn took a step forward and just like that shoved the General aside as he commanded:

"Move along."

Ben and Finn then continued walking as the group followed them, while the General looked at them perplexed, opened his mouth to say something, but then suddenly turned around and got a plate full of food as if he had completely forgotten that he saw them.  
They reached the end of the cantina, another automatic door opened and they all slipped through just to find themselves in an empty corridor, while the door closed behind them. Suddenly Ben groaned and bent over a bit as he steadied himself against a wall, muttering out a 'fuck'.  
Obviously, the whole situation was extremely straining for him right now and he had to catch his breath for a second.  
Rey asked in a worried voice, while she took a step forward and placed a hand on his arm:

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah...I nearly lost my concentration because of that one guy. Thanks for intervening, Finn."

Ben answered and straightened himself again as he let go off the wall and brushed alongside Rey's hand to motion her that everything is alright,  
while Finn just nodded at his acknowledgement.  
Rey was relieved they did it through the cantina without further complications, while she also felt overwhelmed at Finn and Ben working together like that since they put on the Stormtrooper uniforms. But then again, they were the only ones who knew the First Order in such a detail from the inside that they'd also be the only ones who'd know how to react to everything which is going on here right now.

"Keep walking."

Finn ordered as two Stormtroopers rounded the corner on the end of the corridor and everybody moved out again, following him and Ben.  
Finally, they reached the mentioned elevator and Rey let out a small huff in relief as she heard several other rebels doing the same.  
After Finn pressed the button to call the elevator, they waited for several incredibly long moments until she could finally see it approaching while she stepped from one leg to the other by nervousness.  
Eventually, the door opened and inside stood two talking Generals, one of them laughed until both turned their heads to the group while they entered the elevator.  
Just fucking great, even more Generals and they will be pretty much caged with them through the whole elevator ride right now.

The moment they stepped in, the two Generals eyed them suspiciously until one commented:

"DT-L3487 Female cadets? Explain!"

"Order from General Fribar to escort them to the command bridge."

Ben lied to them, now changing their story so it fits again to the place they planned to go. Rey crossed her fingers, they wouldn't again try to change the command or ask any more questions about it, until one of the Generals, the older one stated:

"Ah. Then you'll have to wait some time. She is in a meeting right now. Position yourself next to the doors then and wait in front of the command bridge.  
Wait...Aren't you one of the Deathtroopers who was on Starkiller Base II, when that maniac fired the weapon on our fleet? Your squad was there!  
I remember, most of them got killed by him, you were one of the few survivors!"

Oh fuck. Rey thought and through Ben's waving energy she could feel him getting tense too suddenly. Hopefully, this elevator ride will play out well and will end soon.

"Affirmative".

Ben plainly answered with a steady voice. The two Generals started laughing until the younger one questioned him with a wide grin:

"Did you hit him? I saw on the holotapes! He was shot several times by your squad. Stars I hope this fucker was in severe pain at least before this little Jedi bitch got a hold of him. I would have loved to see him getting slashed apart."

"Affirmative. One clean shot to the lung."

Ben answered in a monotone voice, but she could feel his energy changing to an angry one, while she herself tried to stay calm after getting called 'Jedi bitch' and hearing them making fun of him getting injured. Everybody else stayed silent as nobody wanted to interrupt the conversation because Ben obviously tried just get them through this elevator ride without being suspicious until the older General turned to the other one and snorted:

"Very well done. I am so glad Supreme Leader Hux finally took over, bringing us on the right path again. Kylo Ren or however this maniac calls himself nearly brought the First Order apart with his leadership. Do you know what he suggested before he went nuts and blew up the fleet?"

"No? Tell me!" The younger General answered in anticipation.

"Ok this one is good - listen: He seriously tried to order us to cease the Stormtrooper program and replace them over the span of the upcoming months with droids.  
Can you believe that? That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!"

Both Generals started to laugh out loud once again and held their stomachs while doing so and Rey shifted nervously on her feet as she looked at Ben's unmoving body.  
She wondered how he felt about the Generals talking like that, but didn't have to ask him as she saw how he balled his fists hard on his blaster and she hoped he wouldn't lose control. The older General turned around to Ben and questioned him again:

"DT-L3487! You know how much each of your Stormtroopers cost! How much is it?"

"30 credits each." Ben answered while both Generals nodded in affirmation. Until the older one asked again:

"And Droids cost how much?"

"35 credits each." Ben stated once more through his black Deathtrooper helmet as he stood straight and looked at them.

"Exactly! Isn't this ridiculous? Seriously! He must be unbelievably stupid and incapable if he demanded something like this hahaha!  
5 credits more so we'd use machines instead of these thrown away children as cannon fodder? Unbelievable! Probably his little Jedi Rebel Scum whispered that to him."

The older General laughed once again and she saw Finn shifting a little at hearing this while she wondered how long this whole elevator ride would still take.  
But then she remembered that Ben and she also were pretty long in the elevator last time he brought her to Snoke, so this might take some time and again she groaned inwardly, hoping the two men would finally shut up as everything they said right now was insanely disgusting and evil.

"This little Jedi girl must have some kind of superpowers on him. He was beaten by her on Starkiller Base I. He looked so fucked up afterwards!  
There were rumours between the doctors he had an emotional breakdown in the medical room after that fight! Hahahaa! First stabbing his father, getting beaten up by a girl,  
then crying over it like a bitch. I never understood why Snoke took him in, he always seemed as if he was plainly insane! But well, obviously he was a good enough weapon."

Stars how could they talk like that? Where they talking and thinking like that, while Ben was still the Supreme Leader? Did he hear all of that already before?  
They probably did and he probably heard it all as he can hear the minds of other people. Everything about them was so absolutely disgusting she felt her own anger welling up inside her and her hands started to tremble while she listened to them. Rey had a hard time, not leashing out and pushing her lightsaber through their throats right now.  
Suddenly she heard Ben's warning voice in her mind:

 _"Don't!"_

Then the older General started talking again to the other one and Rey had the urge to cover her ears so she wouldn't hear any more of them, as she nearly couldn't bear it anymore while tears streamed down her cheeks under the helmet. _  
_  
"You know what my theory is? That one time when Kylo Ren kidnapped this Jedi slut and brought her to Starkiller Base to 'interrogate' her,  
where she mysteriously managed to flee afterwards, he let her go because she probably was just a good fuck. You know what they say about the girls of Jakku?  
They are so poor they sell their body for everything. Acquiring food or sucking a commanders dic..."

Suddenly several things happened at once in a span of just several seconds as if someone had given her friends a silent command:  
Ben darted forward, grabbed the head of the talking General and smashed it several times against the glass wall of the elevator so hard Rey could hear his skull crack open while the glass broke and its splinters got stuck in his face which was unrecognizable as blood gushed out from basically everywhere.  
Simultaneously Rose stopped the elevator, while Poe shot the second General and Finn opened a hatch of the elevator's roof, while the other rebels pushed the dead bodies of the two Generals through it and closed the hatch instantly again.

All of it took merely 15 seconds, not more and Rey couldn't believe her eyes.  
Then they were all alone and everybody panted loud into their masks while there was total silence between them and Rey looked around in absolute shock at what just happened, while she pressed her back against the wall to have a hold onto anything at all because she couldn't believe this whole situation and her legs felt wobbly suddenly.  
Tears streamed down her face but she tried to sound calm as she lied to her friends:

"You all shouldn't have done that. It was okay, I...I didn't really listen to them anyway."

"You are crying." Ben simply stated as he took a step forward to her.

"I don't! We have a mission to do!" Rey again lied while tears still streamed down her cheeks as her palms searched for hold on the wall behind her.

Ben walked another step forward, grabbed her Stormtrooper helmet and pulled it upwards to reveal her face which showed her red, puffy eyes.

"You are." He repeated and reached out with his gloved hand, to brush away the tears on her cheeks, while she leaned slightly into his touch.

"Ben...I never did what he said..." Rey sobbed, not wanting her friends to think she ever used her body like the general told 'girls of Jakku' allegedly do.

Ben pulled her Stormtrooper helmet down again, while he leaned down to be helmet to helmet with her and laid a hand on her shoulder,  
shaking her a little while he hummed encouragingly:

"I know...We all know Rey. Now stop wasting your tears and show these fucking Nerfherders outside what a girl of Jakku really is capable of! Starting a revolution and such."

Rose walked forward first and hugged Rey from the side, while Poe and Finn too darted forward and hugged her until they were a huge pile of huddled together Stormtroopers until Rey suddenly started laughing in between tears as all her friends came together to support her after being heavily insulted by the two Generals,  
who weren't even aware the whole time with whom they shared the elevator.  
She looked over to Ben who stood beside the group of friends, watching them and she knew he would never come over and participate in this group hug,  
so she instead reached out a hand between her friends and hooked her fingers with his as she brushed his mind, telling him:

 _"Thank you, Ben. I am sorry they said these horrible things about you. Actually, you were the best Leader the First Order could have ever dreamed of.  
But they missed their chance with you, so let's bring these fuckers down together!"_

* * *

 **Because: Power of friendship! And also Girlpower whoho!  
Poor Ben doesn't want to participate in the group hug, but at least he gets to hold hands with Rey.**


	38. Chapter 38: Two parts

When everybody eventually parted from their group hug after this sudden act of collaborative murder, Finn, Rose, BB-8 and two other rebels left the elevator some levels earlier than the others as planned, so they'd be able to ignite the bomb. Everybody wished them luck, as they were on their own now and Rey hoped so much they wouldn't run into any more trouble.

Rey was left with Ben, Poe, Lieutenant Connix and three other rebels in the elevator again as they kept on their ride, luckily with no one else joining them at least.  
After several more straining seconds, which felt like hours, they finally reached the upper level of the Nihilus. Again they separated into two divisions, as Connix took the three other rebels with her so they'd go to the communication room and send out the broadcast to cease the air traffic on Coruscant,  
while Poe, Ben and Rey stayed together as they were the ones who'd be going to hijack the command bridge.

It was obvious they'd be outnumbered once they'll reach the bridge, but as Poe had a dead-aim as well as Rey and Ben were powerful force users,  
their best bet was that it simply didn't matter much how many First Order Generals would be in that room, as they'd be at an advantage anyways and be able to overpower them. At least they hoped so.

Ben cloaked their presence once again, as it was much easier for him now to do so with just three people instead of a whole group and they passed several Stormtroopers and Generals who didn't seem to mind them at all, or at least looked away after some seconds when they walked by.  
Rey made a note to herself to ask Ben to teach her this technique too, as it turned out to be extremely useful every time and she was also sure he was using a light sided technique which made it even more interesting for her to learn.  
If the galaxy wouldn't be thrown into an age of darkness by the First Order right now, she would probably drill Ben with questions the whole time and urge him to train her day in and day out as there was so much to learn and discover with the force and she was so eager to learn all about it. As well as she was sure Ben would do everything to teach her all he knew about the force.

But for now, she was destined to only use everything she discovered by herself and absorb every bit of information or knowledge she was able to gain just through learning by doing, reading the Jedi texts or by chance being pressed by Ben to use a certain technique in dire situations to somehow survive.  
As they were walking through these typical First Order corridors, Rey's breathing became faster as she heard the boots of her Stormtrooper uniform clicking on the silverish metallic floor. Everything seemed so silent suddenly as if it was the calm before the storm.  
Eventually, she heard a beeping sound and saw Poe shuffling around in his uniform as if he was searching for something. Luckily they were alone and nobody else heard or saw it. The pilot pulled out a commlink he had hidden under the white armour, turned it on and Lieutenant Connix voice was to be heard as she announced:

"The broadcast was sent, air traffic on the whole planet will be ceased. We'll leave the ship now. May the force be with you!"

"Stars end! You heard that - right?"

Poe effused in a joyful manner but instantly refrained to walk like a good Stormtrooper again in case somebody else would cross their path.  
Ben nodded, while Rey bumped her shoulder into Poe's in relief and joy that the other group did it and were on their way to safety right now.  
So one-third of their mission was accomplished at least, it was up to them, Finn and Rose now.  
They passed several doors until Ben suddenly walked a little slower and nodded forwards while he stated:

"The door over there. That's it."

Suddenly said door opened as two Generals darted outside, visibly stressed as they were yelling orders into their commlinks and Rey heard it was because of the broadcast as they obviously didn't understand who sent it and why. While they went straight into their direction, one General suddenly bellowed at them:

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Command by General Virmiss to deliver an urgent message to General Fribar after the meeting, sir."

Ben lied, now putting together several names and information they gathered through their last encounters to spin another story as he stood face to face with them.  
The commlink of one General beeped again and a Stormtrooper informed them about several dead troopers in the communication room.  
The man grew obviously nervous and looked from his commlink to Ben in his Deathtrooper uniform, then back to the device until he muttered out:

"Go on then, the meeting is over anyway, we've got other incidents to attend to right now."

"Affirmative."

Ben answered and saluted the General. Rey thought it to be absolutely unfitting for him to salute anybody as he was the damn leader of the whole First Order just several days ago, but he did it as if he had done it a thousand times already and nobody noticed who he really was.  
The two Generals gave orders through their commlinks once again and hastily stepped down the corridors, leaving the group alone.  
That's it, they'll be going into the command bridge room now.  
Suddenly she heard Ben's slightly concerned voice in her mind:

 _"I'll leave my mind open for you. Use caution. There are 43 people in this room. We have to work fast and kill them all. Stay close to me."  
_  
 _"I will. Let's keep an eye on each other, as well as on Poe, please."_

Rey answered a little worried too as Ben turned around to her and the pilot as everybody nodded, motioning each other that they are ready.  
Both force users pulled their lightsabers out, while Poe readied his blaster and Ben pressed the control pad of the door leading to the command bridge.  
It opened with a hissing sound and inside sat and stood several Generals on the controls, talking hurriedly with each other, probably because of the news about the broadcast.  
The first ones sitting near the door looked over to the group in annoyance as if they didn't want another thing to be pestered with right now,  
until Rey and Ben simultaneously ignited their lightsabers illuminating their Stormtrooper masks in red and blue lights.  
The faces of the Generals were absolutely flabbergasted and they jumped off from their chairs, to reach for their blasters while screaming through the whole room:

"ITS THEM! SHOOT THEM!"

And then shit was going down fast.

Ben and Rey parried the incoming shots, while Poe stood behind them and aimed at the others, bringing down one after another with perfectly aimed headshots each time.  
Everybody in the room now realized what exactly was happening at the moment and started shooting at them, while simultaneously calling for back up.  
Rey closed the door fast and destroyed the control pad with her saber, so nobody was able to come inside for now, while she saw Ben jumping over a console,  
bringing his lightsaber down to behead two attacking men with one fast swipe.

Rey was still close to Poe, who hid behind a corner to deal out shots here and there, then she leapt forward to cut off the hand of an officer who held out his arm and was about to shoot at them.  
The clinking of metal was to be heard everywhere as the laser beams hit the walls around them, as well as screamed orders and insults from the Generals.  
She turned around and ducked away just in time as one shot flew over her head, just to come up again and force push the attacker to Ben who instantly impaled him.  
Rey jumped on top of a jut to instantly kick one guy in the face while plunging her lightsaber through another and dodge a shot aimed at her side.  
Meanwhile, Ben froze several laser beams in midair and stormed forward, relentlessly mowing his way through the attackers as Rey did the same from a higher position,  
using her lightsaber, as well as force pushes to kill their enemies.

Suddenly there was a pained scream, of a voice Rey knew all too well and she turned around so fast, she nearly tripped and toppled over her own feet.  
Poe had a pained expression on his face and kneeled down as one of his legs was obviously injured. A General stood right behind him and had just ripped the helmet off him, holding a blaster to his now exposed head and announced through the whole room:

"Playtime is over! One wrong move now and your legendary pilot gets shot in his face!"

There were 5 Generals and Officers left alive by now and everybody including Rey and Ben looked with a shocked face in his direction and ceased their fighting in an instant.  
Nobody dared to move until Poe mumbled out between gritted teeth:

"Don't listen to this fucker guys!"

The man shot into his shoulder to make a point and Poe groaned out in pain as Rey screamed and was about to jump forward,  
but the General pushed the blaster so hard against Poe's temple again that he winced from the pressure and had to hold his head to the side while he gritted his teeth.  
Rey stopped her movements and instantly contacted Ben through her mind in total panic:

 _"BEN BEN BEN! Stars! What do we do? What do we do now?"_

 _"Stay calm and comply with his demands for now."_

He answered and she turned her head around to him with tears in her eyes as she was absolutely scared for Poe's life right now.  
Ben glanced back at her for a second with a meaningful gaze and retreated from his fighting position, obviously waiting for the General to say something,  
which he did a moment later:

"Turn off your lightsabers, throw them in the middle of the room and surrender yourselves right now."

Rey's gaze still was fixed on Ben who indeed turned his lightsaber off while he stared intensely at Poe who was panting heavily with a strained face from the two injuries he received while blood started dripping on the ground next to him.  
Shit, they fucked up. They didn't have a good enough eye on one of her best friends. Rey thought and tears started rolling down her face as she saw Poe suffering like this.  
Ben tossed his lightsaber in the middle of the room as inelegantly as Luke did it on Ahch-To when he tossed the saber over his shoulder and kneeled down, pulling his hands behind his head, while two Generals walked over and stood next to him with pointed blasters at his kneeling form.

Rey's breathing became faster from fear, as she too turned off her lightsaber and kneeled down to roll it over the floor to the spot where Ben had tossed his as she also pulled her hands up behind her head.  
How the hell shall they ever get out of this situation? They were absolutely fucked and clearly failed, getting themselves captured by the way.  
If any of them dared to move right now, Poe would be shot in an instant and Rey held all her hopes up that Ben cared enough about Rey's feelings towards the pilot as one part of her family that he doesn't just leash out to kill the others regardless of Poe being shot as a result of such action.

The other two Generals walked over to Rey and also pointed their blasters in the direction of her head and she froze in fear, not daring to move a muscle.  
The man who was holding Poe at gunpoint grinned maliciously and with victory written all over his face, as he ordered:

"Pull off your helmets - fucking Jedi scum!"

Ben and Rey did as they were ordered and pulled off their helmets to let them drop on to the floor next to them with a loud clonk. She couldn't read Ben's face at all as he looked extremely concentrated instead of angry while his glance darted back and forth between Poe, her and the Generals. Suddenly she heard him in her mind:

 _"Try to talk to them, distract them without angering him. Tell them something they want to know. I need a moment to solve it."_

"So...Kylo Ren. Missed the First Order already? After blowing half of it to bits like the maniac you are? Resistance was not your thing then? Did you come here to reclaim your leadership or what is it you seek?"

"No." Ben plainly answered as he stared daggers at the man.  
 _  
_Suddenly Poe mumbled out between gritted teeth:

"We are here for something entirely else actually! This is just a distraction."

The Generals changed glances fast, not knowing what that meant while Rey started hearing noises outside of the door of First Order troops trying to open it from the outside with blasters. Meanwhile, she saw Ben staring specifically at a point somewhere behind Poe and his hostage-taker and she was absolutely sure he was planning something out at the very moment and she knew she had to make sure he'd be free of any obligations to be able to do so.  
One General who stood beside her, who obviously had no idea why else they'd be here spat out:

"Then enlighten us! Why are you really here?"

"Actually we are here because your former leader over there knew you'd still have that electro-proton bomb on the Nihilus.  
We were going to ignite it to bring down all your ships at once."

Rey announced, hoping they'd catch on and win some time. She didn't even have to invent a story, as this was the truth, which should be shocking enough for them right now. The First Order Generals now looked at her wide-eyed, obviously not believing her, until the one who held Poe at gunpoint snorted out:

„Yeah...sure. Then you are doing a pretty bad job right now, being on the command bridge. It's a few levels down from here actually. Nice try. But I didn't expect anything intelligent coming from rebel scum such as you are."

„You assume we came alone?"

Ben sneered at the man who just talked before, obviously also trying to buy time right now while Rey could see he was moving his index finger and ring finger just the slightest bit in circling motions behind his head. So he was absolutely doing something right now. Luckily the Generals who were holding him at gunpoint didn't see this,  
as they probably weren't aware that he'd be able to use the force with small hand gestures too as he did when he killed Snoke back then.

Suddenly Poe's commlink started beeping again for an incoming message and all the Generals flinched together a bit until one ordered the other who threatened Rey at the moment, to come over and grab the device from Poe's chest protector. It kept on beeping as the message wasn't being taken and Finn, as well as Rose, probably kept on contacting them right now.

„You should really take it. We made an agreement for when we don't answer in the span of 30 seconds, they'll ignite the bomb, assuming we are dead already."

Poe lied at them, probably to let them hear, they are right about the others and the General behind him smacked his gun against his temple to make him shut up to which the pilot once again winced out in pain and ceased the talking. Rey felt just the slightest bit of the force being used somewhere right behind her and knew Ben was doing something and she hoped the others wouldn't notice anything.

„Take it."

The man behind Poe ordered the other one, who then turned on the commlink to receive the message.  
It was Rose voice and she panted out excitedly:

„Ok guys! We are at the bomb, BB-8 already overcame all the security systems and we are ready to ignite it. Did the ship move already?"

The Generals gasped out in complete shock as Ben, Rey and Poe obviously didn't lie to them and suddenly everything happened at once:  
The officer who had the pilots commlink in his hand, grabbed his own and was about to contact other First Order troopers in an instant to warn them, maybe to jump to lightspeed to save the fleet, while Rey felt Ben yelling into her mind suddenly:

„DUCK!"

She bent forward in an instant on his command and saw from the corner of her eye a large metal plate being ripped from its wall behind her, slicing the general apart horizontally just above his stomach as it darted forward just an inch over her head and shot over to Poe who ducked down exactly the same moment she did and both Generals who stood around him were too sliced in half as they stood on a straight line before.

The two leftover Generals who held Ben at gunpoint realized what happened and instantly started shooting at his head, but he held both blaster shots in midair just an inch next to his temple as Rey called both lightsabers into her hands, darted forward in one swift motion and impaled the attackers from behind as they were both turned to Ben.  
Their bodies dropped down a second afterwards as Rey stood behind him panting heavily as her shoulders heaved up and down from the tension and just now saw that all their attackers are finally dead and Poe is safe. As well as Rey and Ben are unhurt.

Ben turned around with wide eyes and watched Rey in absolute amazement with the two sabers in her hands until a proud smirk appeared on his face as their glances met and he let go of the light beams next to his head, which shot at a wall then. They didn't need to tell each other what they just achieved in a matter of about 3 seconds,  
so she just smirked too and threw him his lightsaber back, which he caught easily above his head as his eyes were fixed on hers in a sudden longing way as if he was just about to crush into her and devour her right now.

But he didn't and both turned to the pilot, who was kneeling on the floor, leaning still over as he had also bent forward under the metal plate because Ben had obviously too warned him before he did it. He gripped his bleeding leg as well as stared at them in utter shock until his brain started to realize too that they got rid of their enemies and they were free to continue.  
He gritted out between his clenched jaw with a big, pained grin:

„What in the universe...! Stars you two are fucking unbelievable! That was freaking awesome!  
I thought we were goners, seriously! Ewww, that guy bled on me when he was dissected!"

Rey laughed a bit in relief and instantly darted towards Poe, to support him as he tried to stand up with her help, while Ben took the beeping commlink from the dead Generals upper half of his body and glanced over to them with a strange look.  
If he was jealous right now or not, Rey couldn't tell, but there was no place or time for this kind of negative feelings in their situation right now.  
Obviously, he knew too and turned the device on to finally answer Rose:

"We had an inconvenience. Everything is under control now. We are about to move the ship and call you back in an instant."

"Ok – everybody's alright?" She asked a little suspiciously.

"Yes."

Ben lied and turned the commlink off, as he turned around to Rey and Poe, who was being held up by Rey. They could still hear the pounding and by now usage of heavy machinery of the Stormtroopers outside trying to pry open the door and once again Rey grew uneasy as she didn't know how much time they had left before the door bursts open. Stars, that's how Ben must have felt when he locked himself inside of Starkiller Base II to fire the superweapon.  
But back then he was all alone, hearing this earsplitting banging on the metal surface of the door while waiting for the second the troopers burst in to kill him.  
Suddenly he turned around and went to where the loud noises were coming from as he announced:

"Go, steer the ship, I'll guard the door, in case they'll come through."

"Alright! Take care, big guy!"

Poe saluted him, while Rey nodded in understatement, hoping they wouldn't be able to come in too soon as she dragged her friend over to the control panel and seated him on a chair, as they both fastly started to operate the controls which moved the ship in a sharp turn around, away from the city. Rey had never steered a ship this size and she felt a little excited doing so, Poe obviously had neither and he just huffed out in annoyance as he held his bleeding leg:

"Boy, is this piece of shit slow!"

Suddenly a big monitor flickered on and General Hux was to be seen, absolutely enraged as he yelled out:

"Why is the Nihilus moving its position and what is this broadcast all ab..."

Then he suddenly stopped himself as he obviously saw Rey and Poe steering the ship and his eyes widened in realisation of what was happening right now.

"What in the blazes of...!" He started, but was interrupted by Poe who just waved at him with a bloody hand:

"Hey there Space Carrot! Already missed your voice!"

"DAMERON? WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SHIP?"

Hux screamed out so hard, his eyes looked as if they'd plop out any second. Then he instantly turned around and commanded several generals some things about informing the other ships on Coruscant. Obviously, he couldn't even see Ben from the perspective of the monitor as he was solely fixed on Poe and Rey, fletching his teeth as he announced:

"You two! You will fucking burn for this! When I get my hands on you we will rip your guts out and space them all over the galaxy, murder everyone you ever cared about and..."

"Hey there, calm down, calm down. You seem a little frustrated. Maybe there is something bottled up inside you...like...in your underpants..."

Poe purposely riled the new Supreme Leader up, obviously to gain some more time, but also because he probably just had fun doing so. Ben watched the whole scene with a frown until the last sentence about Hux pants where he even snorted and had to rearrange his position to look serious again, while he leaned against the wall next to the door, where still loud banging and by now metalworking was to be heard.  
Hux now was getting into a rage fit, which he didn't let out like Ben usually did, but instead turned around and bellowed several commands at the whole room of Generals he was having around him and Rey swore she heard the words: Kill, murder, hunt down, slaughter, destroy and slay them about a hundred times.

Then the transmission was shut down by him suddenly and Rey pressed several more buttons on the control panel to shut down several doors on the ship, so the troopers had it harder to reach them, while the Nihilus was still moving away from the city as she turned around to Ben and announced to both men:

"Very funny with the pants and all. We are reaching our destination in 20 seconds. Let's contact Rose and Finn, they can ignite the bomb now!"

Next to Ben was a huge electronic metal saw cutting through the side of the door with sparks flying all over the room and Rey instantly jumped up, as the Stormtroopers outside were on the verge of getting through it now, while he announced into the commlink, watching the sparks flying next to his face onto the ground and already ignited his lightsaber:

"Ship is reaching its destination in about 15 seconds. Ignite the bomb now and flee in an instant."

"Roger! We'll meet on the ground!"

Finn replied a second later as Rey jumped up from the chair, to also ignite her saber for one last battle before they'd finally bring this ship down and hopefully be able to leave before it crashes as the troopers from outside were nearly done cutting open the door. Poe was steering the ship alone now, but already started to duck away under the control panel as he expected another fire exchange any second and suddenly the damaged door fell open with a loud clonk on the metal floor and there were several heavily armoured stormtroopers barging in with rotary blaster cannons to which Rey knew she would certainly not be able to parry off the stream of continuous laser blasts at all.

Ben took several steps backwards and positioned himself right next to Rey, as she glanced over at him and stated with a shaky inhale:

"Together?"

"Together!"

He answered in a low voice and both raised their lightsabers above their heads.

* * *

 **Uh noo! Poor boy Poe getting hurt :(**  
 **Seems like his fine ass indeed needs some saving too for once.**  
 **Also, he mentioned that Hux probably was not having enough sex, so that why he was so bottled-up.**  
 **Funnily Ben is totally at balance since he started having sexy time with Rey. Maybe Hux should try it too, or eat a chocolate bar from a famous company instead.**


	39. Chapter 39: Brothers

Rey had no idea how in the galaxy she or even Ben were supposed to hold of laser blasts of a rotary blaster cannon as the shots would be too fast to deflect,  
but there was no time to think about that now as the Stormtroopers readied themselves and raised the weapons in front of them and the gun barrel already started rotating as Rey readied her lightsaber in front of her body nervously, while Ben reached out with his hand to probably try to deflect them all somehow.

Suddenly there was a huge quake going through the whole ship and Rey felt the hair on her neck stand up and a strange buzzing feeling going through her whole body as she stared at the Stormtroopers in front of her, waiting for the shots to reach them.

But they didn't.

The rotary blaster cannons just stopped rotating and nothing at all happened. As well as all the other blasters of the troopers, who now desperately pressed on the triggers while nothing happened. Ben and Rey stared at each other for a second, grinned and dashed forward as they attacked the group in front of them, who tried to defend themselves with hands and feet but had no chance against two force users with their lightsabers.  
Obviously Finn, Rose and BB-8 ignited the bomb right now and all electronic devices including the Stormtroopers blasters stopped working afterwards as planned.  
Luckily at exactly the right moment, before they got riddled by their laser beams.  
Rey heard the ship making loud, creaky sounds while simultaneously the floor didn't feel upright anymore, as it was tilting a bit to the side. She killed the last two stormtroopers in front of her as she saw Ben doing the same with three others and suddenly both turned around as they felt the ship moving even more.  
They tried to run over to the control panel, but weren't able to reach it anymore, as on the last feet the ship suddenly tilted so far to the side they fell down and slid over the floor together, trying to get a hold of each other's hands while she cried out his name desperately.

Rey screamed as she tried to get a hold onto anything at all until she felt Ben's hand gripping her arm and they fell ungracefully flat against the front window with a loud thud as the ship was obviously turned and moved downwards already. She instantly looked around and saw Poe just a few feet next to them, clasping himself desperately onto the pilot's chair he was at before, as he yelled a really stressed out:

"We gotta get off - NOW!"

"Cut the glass - I get him!"

Ben shouted at Rey as she could see through the glass under them how fast the ship was nearing the ground right now as it just like that fell down from the sky.  
Rey nodded and hastily ignited her lightsaber to plunge it right through the glass above her head while she also laid flat on it, surprised at how easy it was to cut through with the saber as if it was just a piece of butter.  
In the corner of her eye, she saw Ben pulling Poe upwards onto the front window to them with the force and grabbed onto him with one hand while both of them insulted each other. Rey rolled her eyes as she was annoyed that both of them had time for bickering at each other right now until she finally was done cutting out a big enough hole for everybody to fit through while the wind was instantly blowing furiously into the room as soon as the glass fell down.  
Several dead Generals and Troopers also fell against the front window with loud thuds the whole time and it looked really gruesome as the blood was running all over the glass right now, but they didn't have time to be bothered by it.

"Ok guys I'm done, let's jump for it!"

Rey announced as they helped Poe slip through the hole first as he was nearly blown away by the incoming wind. He jumped down through it, as Rey followed instantly and afterwards Ben. Rey never jumped from such a height and she was slightly scared, her body was pumping so much adrenaline into her right now she already felt dizzy,  
but right now she had the choice of jump or die, so she rather took the first option as Ben had his hand on her shoulder and she felt him sending waves of reassurance through their bond as he probably felt her fear right now. She dangled her feet above the hole she cut out before and with one last glance at Ben, who just nodded at her she pushed herself through it and fell down. He jumped right after her and her breath got caught in her throat from the sudden feeling of having nothing under her feet anymore.

All three of them were free falling next to each other as the huge Dreadnaught ship was also coming down right over their heads.  
Which was not good at all. Rey felt the wind whipping into her face the whole time so much it hurt, her hair flew in all directions and she had trouble breathing while her arms flapped wildly around her and she cried out as they were accelerating down so fast.

Suddenly she remembered something: Parachute! The parachute! Of course! She gotta use it!  
She pulled the release mechanism on her Stormtrooper armour and a sudden jerk went through her body as the falling slowed down in an instant because the parachute had luckily opened above her head. She looked upwards to see the large, thin and shiny fabric looming above her and suddenly she started feeling a bit better as she wasn't falling anymore but more so over was gliding smoothly.

Finally, she had enough time to look around and saw Poe and Ben had done the same as both were gliding down at nearly the same speed as she did with the parachutes above them.  
Ben looked upwards for a second, Rey did too and both realized the Nihilus was still falling down above their heads and they were going to be crushed by it if they didn't move out of its way in the next seconds.  
So both force users reached out their hands and force pushed each other away gently without hindering the parachutes,  
while Rey also pushed Poe with her other hand, so they were gliding faster away from the area of the falling ship.  
The pilot had a mixture of pain and joy written over his face while they were spiralling downwards, obviously because his injuries hurt a lot,  
but because he was also happy they somehow made it out alive.

After some seconds they finally had enough distance to the Dreadnought and they stopped force pushing each other to slowly glide down.  
Rey eventually relaxed and dangled her feet around, starting to enjoy their flight while she was gently gliding through the air and looked around herself, watching the Nihilus still falling down behind them until she looked forward again to Ben who stared at her with a relaxed posture as he too was gliding down.  
She was too far away to tell if he smiled, but she somehow knew he did right now.  
Rey knew she should just contact him through their mind in emergencies but somehow felt Ben would be okay with it right now,  
so she contacted him full of delight they made it out alive:

 _"How are you doing over there?"_

There was a small pause before he answered in an equally joyful manner:

 _"Fucking great actually! You? First time parachuting for you, isn't it?"_

She was surprised by his sudden happy attitude as this was something she never heard coming from him because actually she never saw him just being happy about something. Mostly something dark loomed on his mind and the most she could get out of him by now was a smirk.

 _"Yup first time. I was scared when we were free-falling, but now it feels just great. The air around us - it somehow makes me feel so_ _alive right now.  
You weren't scared at all, weren't you?"  
_  
She asked but instantly regretted it, as she thought that Ben sadly isn't scared of anything if it regards himself or his own safety actually.  
But again he answered a little excited: _  
_  
 _"No. It's amazing! You are right, it feels like being alive...and free."_

Suddenly she understood what was going on. Ben was very simply having fun right now after this whole tense mission.  
She never thought about that possibility before, as everything he did had a somehow important purpose, he never did things to experience something as simple as having fun. He never had the time or allowance before and this was probably the first time he ever was able to have it.  
Except for the times he was alone and intimate with Rey of course, but this was an entirely else kind of 'having fun' together.  
Rey wondered if he ever had something he did for fun or even something like a hobby before he fell to the dark side and experienced all these cruel things but was sure he wouldn't tell her as he hated talking about his past.  
So she asked instead:

 _"So you like parachuting?"_

 _"Let's say I like jumping down from heights."_

He answered and Rey smiled as he obviously had something he liked to do, just for the sake of doing it. Just now she understood why he was so self-confident and not scared at all about breaking off that cliff and falling down into the water when he saved her from his knights back then on Cantonica.  
Then she thought they should do cliff diving one day together, as this was something she really wanted to do someday because of course she never had the possibility to try it out on a desert planet like Jakku. Preferably on some warmer planet than Cantonica and not on the verge of being hunted down.  
Doing things like this with Ben, just because they wanted to have fun was something unimaginable right now as she didn't know if he'd be able to do so, or even wanted to.  
But she was sure, someday they will be able to just do unnecessary things together, for the simple reason of enjoying it.

While she was imagining Ben and her paddling around in some kind of pond after diving down from cliffs, the Nihilus eventually reached the ground already and crashed down so loud, Rey had to press her palms against her ears as there was this deafening noise of metal being ripped apart as well as fuel and engines exploding and the earthy floor shaking beneath these tons and tons of a battleship being plunged into the ground, while everywhere parts of the ship flew around and they had to force push some of them away to not get hit by them.  
If she ever thought the crashing of the two space pirate ships on their base was loud before then she obviously didn't know what the meaning of 'loud' was as this was one hell of a loud crash.

Right after the earth-shattering noise came the shockwave of the explosions and it shook her whole body while she had problems holding her parachute straight as it was thrust several times by the strong blows of the wave. But somehow she managed and saw Ben and Poe managing it too.  
After endlessly spiraling down they finally reached the ground as Rey walked the landing out so she wouldn't land on the floor too fast, Ben did the same with ease as if this wasn't the first time he had done it and they both reached out their hands to slow Poe down, as his leg was injured and it would probably hurt him to land like on it.  
He fell down onto his stomach anyway and the parachute covered him completely until Rey force pushed the fabric away from him, while she detached her own parachute from the Stormtrooper armour.  
Finally feeling some ground under her feet again, she wobbled over to the pilot as he groaned out in pain as he tried to push himself up while Ben too walked over and they both helped him.

"That was some sick shit kids, I tell you! Look at it! It's so beautiful!"

Poe cried out in joy as he was sat down and pressed his right hand against his wound while he pointed with the other one totally excited at the ship going up in huge flames while even more explosions formed on every inch of its surface.  
Rey finally sat down next to Poe, instantly took his leg and started to heal him while Ben just sat next to them and watched her.  
Again she thought she just saw the slightest bit of jealousy in his eyes, but maybe he also tried to overcome it right now as he instead focused on her and grinned in amazement at her healing ability. She stared back at him for several seconds until she leaned forward, without letting go of Poe's leg and kissed Ben happily,  
to which he instantly kissed her back in relief as if he got the confirmation he needed right now even if Rey couldn't understand how Ben always managed to get jealous of the pilot. Poe didn't comment their kiss right now even if he sat right next to them, maybe because he somehow understood that now wasn't the time for any of his jokes.  
While all three sat next to each other, watching the burning and exploding ship, she eventually said with a wide grin:

"Happy birthday Poe."

The pilot looked at her a little shocked, then to Ben who glanced at him with knitted eyebrows, then back to her and yelled out in disbelief:

"Don't tell me it Tuesday already? You are kidding me!"

"Yeah, it is. Sorry for letting you get shot on your birthday two times."

Ben instead replied and suddenly apologized as Rey laughed a bit at his half-assed apology which probably meant much more than what he said right now.  
This was more like an apology to everything which went on between these two men before and maybe even something like a peace offer on Ben's side to him after accomplishing this mission together today. Obviously, the pilot had earned some kind of respect today with him and he even tried to overcome his jealousy as he started to accept Rey's and his friendship to some point, which just partly worked but for now, it was enough she thought.  
But there was also a slight chance Ben said this because Rey had told him about a hundred times last night that it's Poe's birthday today and that he can't be hurt under any circumstances, which didn't quite work out as planned, so he might feel guilty about it. Rey did too, but there seriously was no way to prevent it.  
But at least Poe seemed happy anyway while his eyes beamed with amazement at the huge fireball which just exploded from the ship in front of him with a loud bang.

"Stars I love you both! Seriously - that's the best birthday ever! Look at the fire - it's huge! And your girl here is patching me up right now, so it doesn't even hurt anymore.  
Do you know that you are a damn lucky guy to have her? And Rey you are the freaking best seriously - that force magic is awesome!"

Poe laughed out near tears and hugged Rey still in a sitting position, while she giggled the whole time and tears started to collect in the corner of her eyes already by these words until Poe, thrilled to bits turned around and was just a second away from hugging Ben too until he saw his frown and instantly retreated, but instead held out his fist and asked with a wide grin:

"Come on man, at least a fistbump if I ain't getting a hug from you on my birthday!"

Ben eyed him with a dark gaze for several seconds with arms folded in front of his chest while he sat straddle-legged next to Rey on the ground and she wasn't sure if he would choke Poe right now, insult him or tell him to shut up.  
But to her surprise, he pulled up his gloved hand to give the pilot a reluctant fist bump and Rey swore they just looked like two brothers now sitting next to each other as they all together watched the burning ship while she had the widest grin on her face since ages. 

* * *

**I don't know, somehow I like this Poe, Ben, Rey dynamic a lot. As all three of them seem like crazy fucks and Poe actually was the first who started to believe in Ben after Rey did, so he deserved this fist-bump.  
And yep, Ben and Rey gave Poe a super huge explosion as a birthday present.**


	40. Chapter 40: Family

Somewhere really far in the distance, Rey could suddenly see several people running into their direction, followed by a small droid and she instantly knew it were Rose, Finn, BB-8 and the two other rebels who went with them to ignite the bomb just minutes before they fled the ship.  
They just stayed there on the ground, while Rey was healing Poe's leg until she was nearly done with it already when the other's arrived and everybody just laughed in total delight when they were reunited, while Poe instantly greeted BB-8 and rubbed his metallic belly, while Finn and Rose hugged Rey.  
Finn stared at Poe's injuries with a frown, then at Ben as he accused him:

"You said everybody is alright...That looks to me as if Poe was shot two times."

Ben shrugged his shoulders, as he leaned back onto his palms while he still sat straddle-legged on the floor and stared at Finn to answer a little bored:

"I lied."

Finn instantly got angry, stepped forward and was a second away from insulting Ben right now as Rey was about to say something against it until Poe stopped the former Stormtrooper with a chuckle and a dismissive wave of his hand:

"Oi Finn calm down! He saved me like three times in the last five minutes. Give this man a break, will you!"

Rose stepped now in front of Finn with a glare into his direction, so the former Stormtrooper backed off apologetically until she kneeled down in front of Poe.  
Rey stopped healing his leg, to give them two a little more space, as she shuffled over to Ben and entwined her fingers with his in anticipation as she already knew what was coming next.  
Ben glanced at her with a raised eyebrow because of her sudden hand-holding, but she just nodded over to Rose, motioning him to listen to her which he then did.  
Poe grinned like a madman as Rose took both his hands into hers while she started to sing like she did on Rey's birthday.  
It was another song than the one she did for Rey, but it was equally beautiful and calm.  
Everybody was really silent and hung on Rose's lips as she sang about friendship, courage, family and love in a really calm and silent way while Rey leaned herself a bit against Ben as she felt his fingers curling more around hers and he too listened quietly.

The tears Poe held back when he hugged Rey before, now spilt over his cheeks as he continuously wiped them away with his upper arm while he grinned the whole time.  
He was obviously touched by this coming together of his friends after this whole dangerous mission and now the silence between them only to hear Rose's beautiful voice. Finn stayed behind her and watched with a fond glance while he too started to get a bit teary and had to blink several times to press the tears away.  
Rey was already sobbing too as this was such an unbelievably beautiful and calm moment she always wished for since she became close to Ben.  
Her friends, her family, Ben - all were together right now, supporting and to some degree even liking or at least accepting each other.  
Leia was missing of course, but they'll hear soon enough from her and she won't be happy about what they did today.  
When Rose was finished she suddenly announced with a big grin:

"Happy birthday flyboy!"

Poe suddenly hugged her so much with one arm, as the other was still injured at the shoulder, she squealed out in surprise and giggled like crazy afterwards until they eventually parted and Finn also kneeled down to hug him in an instant, also giving him birthday wishes as he told him that they both have a present for the pilot back at the base and asked about his injuries.  
Poe still was occupied with wiping away his tears until he choked out:

"Stars! Guys, you made me cry! Nobody will ever believe all these cool legends about me when they'll know I'm bawling my eyes out here!  
You are the fucking best, you know that? Rose this was so unbelievably beautiful!  
You know you'll have to do that for every one of our birthdays for the rest of your life now?"

Rose chuckled and stood next to Finn, as she took his hand and nodded at Poe:

"Yeah, I know. My sister Paige and I used to sing to each other and came up with new songs every night before we went to bed. So I have about a thousand left."

* * *

After Rose's sweet birthday serenade, Rey kept on healing Poe's blaster wounds until he felt good enough again to walk around with his friends.  
Finn informed them that Lieutenant Connix and her Crew too safely reached the ground as they had talked before the ignition of the bomb with each other through their commlinks, which were absolutely useless right now because they were also affected by the EMP. They didn't find the others yet, as the crash site was so huge, but part of the whole plan was to meet again afterwards at a certain rendezvous point in one area of the city, as Poe knew someone from the revolutionaries group on Coruscant who was informed of their visit before and would harbour them.

So they started their journey outright primitively on foot, hence a lacking, let alone working ship right now as they walked away from the burning and completely destroyed Nihilus towards the densely populated part of the city again. The city itself was absolutely quiet as no electronic device, ship or machine was working right now and all the buildings in the distance seemed somehow dead and dark as they approached it. Usually, they would be illuminated by bright blinking lights, huge advertising panels and masses of ships flying around everywhere. But neither of this was to be seen, instead just people running around confused and stressed out about the whole power blackout and the crashed Dreadnought. Which played in their favour, as they didn't need any kind of attention right now because they didn't want to be found out.

On their way to the city, the group stripped themselves off the Stormtrooper uniforms so they wouldn't be mistaken for First Order members while Rey and Ben walked some feet behind the others as she somehow knew he was slightly over-challenged by this whole display of friendship and belonging and might need a quiet moment with her right now.  
Poe and Finn were widely gesturing around while both told each other what happened on the command bridge as well as in the hall with the electro-proton bomb while Rose added several questions and stories too with an excited voice.

As Rey fell a little behind to walk beside Ben, who obviously didn't want to join the cheerful conversation of Rey's friends, he glanced at her sideways as she approached him.  
She walked so close, that she deliberately bumped her shoulder into his to which he reacted by placing his palm flat against her lower back, while he circled his thumb against the dips of her hip.  
Rey loved it when he did that, as this wasn't the first time and she closed her eyes for some seconds to let out a silent groan at the sensation until she opened her eyelids again and glanced at Ben, while she mused a little curiously:

"So got thrown right into our small family celebration today, weren't you?"

"Obviously I was. Although I'll never understand the necessity of such celebrations. Congratulating someone for the simple act of being born.  
It's not something you achieve, but rather something which you are given without doing anything for it."

Ben answered and looked at her with a grim face while she grinned back at him because he at least didn't say that he hated it.  
Then she giggled a bit over his absolute misconception about why people tend to celebrate several events in their lives and happily explained:

"The necessity behind it isn't congratulating someone because they are born Ben. I never had a birthday before and even I realized why people celebrate it by now.  
They do it because they take this day as a date to tell the other people how important they are, how much they mean to them, and just make them feel special on that particular day. Everybody deserves to be reminded some day or another how much they mean to others."

Ben looked forward to the dark city with a thoughtful glance as if he pondered about her words, while Rey suddenly wondered when Ben might have his birthday and how he'd react to them celebrating his and what kind of song Rose would sing for him.  
Suddenly he turned his head around to her again and knitted his eyebrows together as he had obviously heard her thoughts and warned her:

"Absolutely not! No!"

"Aww come on, you won't tell me your birthday? And do you want to say you didn't like Rose's singing?"

Rey teased him, while she bumped into his side with her shoulder once again and winked at him. In the meantime, they reached the first houses of the city and she wondered if somebody might recognize them as they weren't masked or anything at all. But suddenly she felt the force flowing around them and she knew Ben was already cloaking at least her's and his presence once again, which calmed her down instantly, while Poe turned around and yelled at them, that they are nearly there already.  
Eventually Ben answered, with his hand still on her back:

"No, I won't tell, as I don't want to be bothered with it. But her singing was quite beautiful and calming indeed."

"See, that's why I need to know your birthday, so Rose knows when to sing you a song. But I'll just ask your mother instead."

Rey grinned cheekily at him, while she draped an arm around his stomach to pinch him into the side as she knew he'd be annoyed about her asking his mother.  
He stared her down and simply stated with a frown:

"You wouldn't."

"I will absolutely ask her."

Rey replied as she had to bite her lip to not laugh out loud at his pissed expression.

"Bite me!"

He hissed out as he stared down at her with an angry glare.

"With pleasure!"

Rey sneered back mischievously at his teasing words and suddenly stepped in front of him, so he was forced to stop in his track as she instantly gripped his collar and pulled it forward, so he had to bend down to her face. While a wicked grin spread across her lips, she brushed them against his and felt his breath shudder against her skin from their sudden closeness. Then she took his words literally and sucked in his bottom lip to gently bite on it, which made him inhale sharply as he closed the distance between them instantly and draped his arms around her to press their bodies against each other into a loving embrace as he deepened the kiss.  
Rey could feel that he was worried about her during the mission and his relief about her being well and cheerful enough to make jokes, washed over her in waves through their kiss. She too was really relieved he made it out alive and unharmed as there were several dangerous situations which nearly cost them their lives, which she let him know by opening her mind completely to him to which he groaned softly against her lips as he pressed his fingertips into her flesh.

Eventually, they parted and kept walking next to each other again as the other's had already gone ahead and she didn't want to lose them.  
At a certain point, Poe suddenly stopped in front of a building in a not so crowded street and grinned broadly, while he announced:

"Okay, kiddos we're are here. I wasn't kidding when I told you we are gonna catch us some drinks afterwards. This district here is known to have lots of Resistance sympathizers, as well as this location here, is run by my boy Connky. Everybody who's allowed to step in is known by him, or friends with the people he knows.  
Which means we're absolutely safe in there, no headhunters or First Order spies but only Resistance supporters, as well as Revolutionaries, are here."

Poe knocked on the building's door loudly and it took some time until someone finally opened it. It was a young man with a short blonde mohawk, black bandana around his neck and a burning lantern in his hand, standing in the doorway, who started to grin wildly when he saw the pilot standing in front of him.  
Suddenly the young man set the lantern aside and darted forward to sweep Poe from his feet as he instantly crushed his lips against the pilot's who hugged him back overjoyed and started laughing while both men kissed each other several times between grins and joked insults.  
When they parted, Connky took a good look at Poe, as he obviously had seen the injuries, as well as he rubbed BB-8's head who bleeped in response.  
Then he exclaimed, voice full of delight but a bit worried too:

"Stars end! You did it! Your group did it! I knew there was a reason for your visit! Happy birthday you kriffing crazy man! Are you responsible for the power blackout too?  
I bet you are! Nothing at all is working right now, hence the lantern. I saw the Dreadnought crashing down and hoped whatever you were doing right then, that you weren't on it. I am so glad to see you, seriously I am! Oh hey BB-8 sweety! I missed you too! And...did you get shot or what is that? You don't seem hurt?!"

"Naaah the main reason was of course to visit my boy! Getting rid of the First Order ships was just an annoying side mission.  
And yup that had been our doing actually and we luckily left the ship in time thanks to our perfect teamwork. Yeah, I got shot two times.  
But we've got our magic supergirl with us, she healed me right away, so everything is fine."

Poe joked with a flirty wink while he parted from Connky and both turned around to the others, while Rose and Finn greeted the man with a hug as they obviously knew him already. As Rey and Ben stood beside the others, the young man walked forward and greeted them with a wide grin as he beamed at both:

"You two are the magical force couple, Poe told me so much about you. So good to finally meet you two in person! Rey and Ben Solo? Kylo Ren? I don't know what do you prefer man? Poe used both names before."

"Just Ben." Ben answered with a slight upwards nod.

"Alright. Ben the magic stick boy and Rey the cinnamon roll, it is then."

Connky, joked as he hugged Rey and too nodded at Ben, obviously knowing that he doesn't like to get hugged by anybody else except for Rey, until he took the lantern again,  
motioning the others to follow him upstairs.  
Rey was by now used to be called cinnamon roll, so she didn't even say anything about it anymore as she somehow took a liking to having a nickname, while she grinned inwardly that Poe and Connky were calling Ben magic stick boy all the time.  
She didn't know Poe's boyfriend personally before but heard her friend mentioning him on several occasions and knew he was visiting him every now and then,  
or often took missions when they were scheduled on Coruscant. So she was glad to finally meet him too as she found him really likeable immediately because he seemed to be as cheeky as Poe, but maybe a bit more judicious at least.

She saw Ben shifting around next to her while he seemed a bit uneasy as they entered the building. She wondered if it was because he saw Poe with a man and if he'd have a problem with it, but couldn't really imagine him having a bad opinion about same-sex relationships. She deliberately never told him about Poe's sexuality, because she never saw any reason to mention it while he too never asked, but obviously assumed the pilot was flirting with Rey on several occasions. The moment she felt a slight wave of guilt wash over him, she understood why, leaned closer to his face and asked teasingly in a hushed voice:

"Do I feel guilt welling up about your jealous outbreaks regarding Poe or is it just a disturbance in the force?"

There was a pause as they walked side by side through the door and went upstairs with the others until he looked down at her while he pressed his lips together a bit stupefied and confessed:

"Ok. It was unnecessary. I wasn't aware before."

"Yup you weren't. But I'm glad you overcame it by yourself before you knew about them."

Rey answered with a wink and grinned at him admitting his mistake. They reached a flat and Connky pressed open the door to let them all enter, as he explained to them where everything was and where everybody could sleep this night, before their departure in the morning, when hopefully some ships will start to function again.  
Everything in these rooms looked modern but also a little cobbled together. Rey liked it very much as it reminded her a bit of her own home back on Jakku which too was mixed together with things she found which didn't really fit but made it somewhat unique and interesting.

Obviously, he shared the flat with two more people, who directly introduced themselves excitedly. There were several more rooms than people who lived there and it was pretty spacious and had more than enough space for everyone.  
It was obvious where the resident's alliances lay, as there were several old Empire, as well as newer First Order holoposters flickering on the walls which were all scribbled over in insulting ways, making fun of each of the propaganda pieces. Obviously, they slowly started to work again after the EMP, but not really.

After the short introduction, Poe and Connky started talking about their security and the situation on Coruscant right now, after the heads of the police forces have been replaced by the First Order one day prior. He told them about hearing several rumours of people who were taken off the streets already, as they openly talked against the First Order or about the overtaking of the planet's government. But he also learned about the police instantly pulling back all their forces an hour ago since the ships started falling down from the sky, so he hoped they'd be safe for the night as 'the blues' - that's how he called them because of their uniforms - simply didn't have any functioning weapons or means of communication, let alone ships right now. The whole city was in a chaos and everyone was just trying to do damage control at the moment and find out what happened to the electricity and how to get everything working again.  
So there was the chance the police was just more than occupied with everything else right now and they'd be able to stay without further problems until the next day.

Poe was concerned for them anyway and they decided to go downstairs again, as there seemed to be the affiliated tavern which belonged to Connky and they planned to continue their conversation there, as Poe still wanted his promised drinks.  
Both men went down the stairs arm in arm laughing while both talked about the exploding ship and the others were about to follow until Rose suddenly pulled Rey's arm back a little, motioning her to stay as she yelled over to the others:

"Hey, guys! Rey and I will join you soon, but now we have some girls stuff to talk about."

The others turned around while Finn and Poe grinned broadly as Ben looked perplexed and with a raised eyebrow, wondering out loud:

"Ok?"

Rey looked back and forth between the smiling Rose and confused Ben until she shrugged her shoulders unknowingly and announced:

"Don't know, obviously I got 'girls stuff' to talk about. Meet you later downstairs!"

He too shrugged his shoulders still in confusion and everyone except for the two women went downstairs. Rose dragged Rey behind her until they reached a room which was full of clothes and as well as several tailor dummies, scissors, sewing kits and different fabrics.  
For a second Rey was reminded of the textile factory where she and Ben had their absolutely stunning first time together and she felt a little flustered as she thought about it until Rose darted around excitedly and pulled out several clothes while she announced:

"Every time we come here and visit the bar downstairs, I am allowed to pick one of the dresses from Connky's flatmate. She is a tailor and makes so much beautiful stuff.  
I just asked her and - oh look at this one! Do you think it works with my hair when I put it up in one braid?"

Rey didn't know what she expected when Rose said something about girls stuff, certainly not this. So she stood a little dumbfounded there and watched Rose hold up several clothes, mostly dresses in front of herself, while she asked for her opinion about the look of it. Rey never bothered herself with looks, as it simply didn't matter how you'd look when your only goal for the day is, to scavenge as much as you can and hopefully earn some portions for it to not go hungry for another day.  
As she felt overwhelmed about all these clothes she stuttered:

"I uhm...I eh. That's good. Or the other one too. Yeah or this. Maybe. I don't know. They all look beautiful. And impractical. How are you supposed to fight in this?"

Rose let the clothes drop down and frowned for a second until she walked into Rey's direction and started giggling:

"You never wore a dress, did you?"

"I...No. Nobody needs a dress on Jakku. There is sand everywhere, you sweat and everything is dirty."

When Rose stood before Rey, she told her to turn around, which she did hesitantly but wondered what was going to happen now, as she didn't understand a thing.  
Suddenly she felt her three buns being opened and her hair being ruffled through, so she wore a side parting.  
Then Rose turned her around again and grabbed a dress next to her, as she ordered sarcastically with a grin:

"Here try this on. I am for some unknown reason 100% sure, Ben would like dark colours on you."

"WHAT?"

Rey yelled out with the dress in her hand and hair strands falling into her face, which she blew away, not believing what Rose was suggesting.

"Come on, I know he is special about a lot of things. But in the end, he too is just a guy who probably and rightly thinks his girlfriend is the most precious thing in the galaxy.  
Finn nearly cried out of joy when he saw me in a dress the first time. So you wanna go with black, grey, a dark blue?"

She never thought about dressing herself up for Ben, as she had never done that for anyone before, as well as she simply didn't have the possibility to do so and then Ben never mentioned anything about her look, except for finding practically every inch about her beautiful and fascinating.  
Can it be? That he'd find her even more beautiful when she'd wear something more feminine like a dress? Maybe Rose is right and she should try it out.  
Other than that, she actually always wanted to know how it feels to walk around in a dress. But not a too fancy one, one in which she could still move normally.  
Eventually, she nodded and confirmed:

"Okaaaay - I'll try. But you've got to help me. Seriously. I don't have any experience with this. I think I like grey. And not a long one, I want to be able to move my legs...and nothing fancy. And it should be comfortable."

"That sounds like a plan, we'll find one for you!"

Rose exclaimed happily and instantly went through all these clothes, while Rey helped her to find dresses for them both.  
After some time they found one, which fitted Rey's ideas.  
It was a darkish grey one, with light fabric which had the same texture as her bandage-like sleeves, which she let on as they fit together well.  
The dress ended just above her knee and looked a bit ragged on the lower edges which made it pleasantly airy and gave her enough room to move freely.  
The neckline was a little lower cut than she'd usually wore it, but she didn't feel exposed as it didn't show too much.  
This one felt somehow good and fitting and she insecurely looked at herself in a mirror contemplating between finding it beautiful and exciting as well as thinking Ben would find it ridiculous, while Rose too had found a dress she liked as Rey helped to braid her hair up into a nice bun on top of her head.  
Before they went downstairs to join the others, Rey nearly chickened out as she announced:

"Stars, I think Ben might find this ridiculous. He is always so practical and everything needs a purpose, or else he doesn't bother himself with it. I don't know if..."

Rose interrupted her:

"I bet you a drink he'll like it. Two drinks if he accidentally knocks something over, or drops something in awe of seeing you like this. You look absolutely stunning girl!"

Rey inhaled slowly and went down the stairs until they reached a door, which Rose opened with a grin. There was a dimly lit tavern, much smaller than the one she celebrated her birthday in, but also much cosier. Everything was solely illuminated by candles or lanterns as obviously the electricity still didn't work at all. Several other people sat or stood around and talked with each other, while two people with strange instruments sat in a corner and played comfy music.  
She saw Finn sitting on a bench with Lieutenant Connix and the other rebels at a table, who luckily also found this place as planned before and they talked excitedly.

Further afar, close to the bar she saw Poe, Ben and Connky discussing a topic, while they all just got their drinks handed, to which the couple instantly clinked their bottles together and persuaded Ben to do so too, which he hesitantly did with a frown holding his arm out lazily, so they could bash their bottles against his.  
Rose grinned at Rey and waved a bit, as she went over to Finn at the table, who saw her and grinned madly and Rey slowly approached Ben, who probably sensed her and turned his head over his shoulder to glance into her direction.

The moment he saw her, much more happened than Rey ever thought how he'd react to her looking like that.  
First, he instantly stopped talking with both men and his expression changed from a frown to widened eyes as his mouth opened slightly. He turned fully around to see her better, while the bottle he held instantly slipped out of his hand and was about to make contact with the floor any second if he wouldn't have held out his other hand directly to use the force, catching it in the air one inch above the ground.  
Then maybe the most unusual thing happened: He blushed.  
The man who seemed to be always secure, self-confident, concentrated, never embarrassed and always with some kind of dominant attitude simply blushed while he stared at Rey with an open mouth.

Poe and Connky were still talking to him, but he obviously stopped listening already as he set his drink aside on the bar without losing eye contact and started to walk into Rey's direction with such purposeful steps she got goosebumps while she lowered her head to watch him intensely too as he approached her.  
When he stood in front of her she grinned at him a little uncertainty and asked:

"What do you think? I think I could still do lightsaber forms in..."

But she was interrupted as he suddenly darted forward, took her head in between both his palms and covered her mouth with his in an intense kiss as she let out a surprised moan and got a hold of his arms as he was pressing himself into her and she was about to stumble backwards from it.  
She felt his lips moving against hers, begging for entry and as soon as she opened her mouth to let him in, he inhaled sharply and literally sucked her breath away with it which made her feel a bit dizzy.  
Everything around them suddenly seemed to disappear and she felt his emotions wash over her, as he obviously had bridged their minds, while she instantly reacted by letting him in and she felt everything he felt right now:  
Love, longing, utter amazement, confusion, excitement, arousal, belonging, affection, passion, safety, peace, balance, the wish to stay in her arms forever like this and also the simple thought of perceiving her as the most beautiful, most important human being in the whole universe to him right now.

After several seconds he took a step backwards as his hand wandered down to her wrist and he looked from her feet to her face up and down until his other hand brushed a strand of hair from her face behind her ear, while he stuttered absolutely mesmerized:

"Mother of Moons! Rey...I...Stars...Wow!"

Then he instantly pulled her towards him once again and pressed his lips against hers while he entangled his fingers in her open hair as if he didn't have enough of touching her before. She kissed back with a grin, wrapping her arms around him too, knowing she won three drinks in total from Rose, while she enjoyed the feeling of being worshipped by Ben like this and making him literally speechless.

* * *

 **Aww, Rey got to wear a dress the first time.**  
 **And yep - Poe is gay. Not with Finn, but with a punk. :D**


	41. Chapter 41: Kneel

**Gods this chapter is so emotional and full of hot steamy you know what...  
Have fun reading it!**

* * *

After the second affectionate kiss, Ben gave her they parted and she grinned at him a little shyly because he reacted much more intense than she anticipated.  
He still stared at her intensely as if he didn't believe what he saw and she felt lots of eyes on them, as most people knew who they are, because of them both being the most wanted humans in the whole galaxy right now, but obviously didn't know that they also were romantically involved with each other. So several people seemed rather surprised about it, but not shocked as Ben and she were more like Resistance Heroes to them right now since the news about their deeds spread. Maybe people even saw hope in both of them being together somehow.  
Or had something going on, loved each other or...she still hadn't talked to Ben about what exactly they were.  
A couple? How do they both introduce each other? Hello, this is my - force bonding partner? Fellow companion?  
Without really thinking how childish this might sound right now, she blurted out:

"Are we...are we actually like boyfriend and girlfriend Ben? Or something like that?"

Ben still held both her wrists and squeezed them slightly as he heard her question, then a huge grin appeared and he even started to laugh a bit,  
which made her feel somehow unsure suddenly as she knitted her eyebrows together. But at the same time, she was mesmerized as she had never seen him really laugh.  
It was not a full-hearted one, more like a huff, but at least something similar to a carefree one.  
Eventually, he snorted out:

"Rey, are you kidding me?"

Rey's face turned red instantly and she felt incredibly stupid for asking. Maybe he didn't want to? But she knew he loved her.  
But maybe he didn't want to have this kind of connection? Or didn't want to have a committed relationship?  
So even more uncertainty than she was before, suddenly feeling somehow ridiculous in that dress, she whispered out:

"Nooo...I don't...we never talked about it. I don't know, maybe you don't want this kind of commitment. I just wanted to ask..."

"Stars Rey. I'll explain something to you - listen closely:  
You are the most incredible being in the whole universe and I worship you like a goddess. I have seen your soul as well as you have seen mine and we are bonded through the force. You were and will always be my light in the darkest of times and I never trusted anybody more than I trust you.  
I never knew I could love anyone at all, but you proved me absolutely different about that and brought my whole life upside down. You saved me, Rey.  
Literally and metaphorically. While being coincidentally the strongest and most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life and I thank the maker for every time you look, talk or smile at me. Stars, touching you even the slightest bit, being close to you is a gift, you are giving me and I didn't lie when I tould you, you are the only one for whom I would ever kneel down again.  
Yet you are the one who stands before me, asking me about such an ordinary denotation to what we both are?  
Isn't it absolutely clear? You can feel my emotions and I hear your thoughts. I thought it would be enough for you to feel you safe about us, but obviously, it isn't.  
So I need to let you know that I will dedicate every second of the rest of my life to make sure you are safe and happy, I will end a war with you and I would die for you,  
as well as I will always stand by your side to see you bloom with the force, train you, be with you, hold you, dedicate my whole heart to you.  
Does this answer your question regarding what we are to each other?  
And yes: Your dress and the hair - it's absolutely stunning. It still blows me away. I don't even know which words I could use, to describe how beautiful you look right now."

While Ben recited all these things Rey felt her heart sink into her boots and she started to tremble as tears gathered in her eyes.  
Never has anybody told her such things and even if she already knew that he loved her, she just now understood to which amount and it filled her heart with so much warmth it felt like it melted away in her ribcage right now.  
The way he formulated it, even sounded as if he truly wanted to be together with her for the rest of their lives.  
Stars...did he...did he somehow propose to her right now?  
Obviously, he heard her thoughts, as he brushed his thumb against her cheek and smirked a bit, as he asked:

"Do you see me on my knees?"

"No..."

She breathed out, still absolutely overwhelmed by his affectionate words.

"Then this is no proposal...yet."

Did he seriously say 'yet'? Does this mean he already thought about asking her someday? Maker if he keeps on talking like this she might fall unconscious from nervousness any second as he heart already beat so fast she felt dizzy from the adrenaline. She felt like the first time they touched hands on Ahch-To, but even more flustered.  
The moment she saw his soul, found Ben Solo again and knew there'd be so much to save if he just let her. And she is so glad she never gave up on him as everything lead to being together with him right now, on the way to bring balance to the universe as he just poured his heart out to her.  
She too wanted to spend the rest of her life with him as she could never imagine anybody else on her side, but Ben.  
They were equals, two parts of one whole. Light and darkness. Together they were truly special and nothing would ever bring them apart.  
How could she ever give him back big enough words to what he told her right now?  
She opened her mouth and closed it again while she slowly started to take in her surroundings again. The comfy music, the dim lights, Ben's hands still on her wrists,  
while he drew small circles with his thumbs.  
Then she stuttered out totally befuddled:

"I...Ben...I..."

"You don't have to say anything back Rey. But to which drink can your 'boyfriend' invite you?"

Ben asked jokingly, emphasizing the 'boyfriend' part, as he kissed her forehead and pressed his lips together afterwards to hold back a grin while he turned around and glanced at Poe and Connky, as well as to the bar as the others stood there totally dumbfounded after he just ignored them and ran away from their conversation.  
Eventually, Rey was able to fluently talk again, as she pressed out:

"Ben. I need a beer. Or several. I am still speechless."

He nodded and both walked together back to Poe and Connky who shook their heads at both of them until the pilot laughed out:

"Rey you look freaking awesome! No wonder your boy went completely nuts over you and ran away mid-conversation.  
Stars you both are something. As if the universe made you for each other."

"It did."

Rey boldly commented while she took a huge gulp of the beer to calm her nerves, which Ben gave her as promised before.  
He glanced at her sideways with a deep gaze after her answer, maybe thinking the same about it as she did.

"Because there's some kind of Jedi prophecy about you two saving the universe together or what?"

Connky asked a little surprised about her self-confident answer while he leaned his elbow on Poe's shoulder and waited for her answer.

"No. Not that I know of. But we will end the war and build a new generation of free force users. As long as there is light, there will be darkness and vice versa.  
We met in between light and dark to find absolute balance, which we will bring to the galaxy too. This is our destiny and the force will guide us."

She replied as she took another gulp afterwards and had the urgent need to touch Ben and be close. Rey felt incredibly drawn to him right now, which she always was,  
but after he told her all these things about his feelings towards her and she just pretty much told Poe and Connky about their common plans for the future it was even stronger and she wished she could engulf him completely somehow. So at least she laid her arm around his back to be closer, again realizing how much bigger he is, as her hand didn't even reach his shoulder blades without her holding it up awkwardly, so she remained just above his hip and drew her fingers up and down his spine.  
Through her touch, she felt that he agreed with what she said and he slightly nodded in an approving way.

Eventually Finn, Rose, Connix and the others joined them and they all had a pleasant and interesting conversation, while Finn drilled Ben with questions about what the General said in the elevator, him trying to cease the Stormtrooper program. Even Rey didn't know he tried to do so and too was surprised when she heard it.  
Ben explained that it was a plan he worked out for some time, as he planned to just take droids instead so there wouldn't be such a high body count as well as he didn't like the brainwashing they went through. Rey saw something change in Finn's behaviour towards Ben while they talked about it as he explained that the Generals hated his idea and rejected it completely, but he was about to force them to comply anyways as he was the Supreme Leader before. Unfortunately, they tried to assassinate him and he instead decided to blow them all up with the Starkiller Base II.

At some point, they all sat together at a table and several other revolutionaries joined their company every now and then as they wanted to congratulate the people who brought down the First Order ships as well as they wanted to get to know Rey and Ben. It felt unusual for both to have people looking up to them as Rey never had anybody looking up to her whole life and Ben just had people fearing him his whole life.  
She was able to manage the compliments of the people and felt flattered every time as she tried to give them some piece of advice or hope, while Ben mostly didn't say anything at all, shrugged his shoulders or said something so devastating about the state of the galaxy that they left with a shocked face.  
He still was the worst when it came to getting compliments which was somehow incredibly sweet but also sad, as it probably based on him being feared by everyone all these years before, never getting any compliments, but instead insults, betrayal or lies. So, of course, he didn't know how to deal with them.

During their conversation, Rey sat next to Ben the whole time, leaning against him now and then or brushed his hand while she absolutely enjoyed this whole evening with everybody. As the discussion eventually shifted more to the others she somehow ended staring at Ben the same time his hand found his way between her naked thighs to which she let out a small gasp of surprise.  
He pressed his gloved palm against her inner thigh and gently stroked up and down her skin, without looking at her as he still had a drink in his other hand and listened to the conversation in front about incoming news of other confirmed destroyed First Order ships on Coruscant.  
Obviously, everything worked out as planned by them and all the ships fell down on to the weapon and battleship factories which was just perfect as they pretty much killed two birds with one stone.

The leathery texture of his glove was cold against her leg and it sent shivers all over them. Maybe it wasn't that bad that he always wore them as they made an interesting sensation on her exposed skin which somehow...aroused her suddenly. She never liked it when he wore them, as it felt as if he was hiding from human contact,  
but right now it just felt so good. Was it because of the alcohol? She didn't drink that much yet.  
But the way this sleek texture was gently gliding up and down between her thighs...she felt herself getting jittery about it and had to shift her position a bit so she leaned slightly against him, while she of course absolutely coincidentally opened her legs just a bit to be sitting more comfortable.  
Ben inhaled quiet, but deeply at her closeness while his hand wandered further up in slow motion and his gentle brush changed to softly kneading her flesh.  
He talked about something with Poe and Connky as both made fun about separating the Stormtroopers into male and female as if there wasn't any other option to have fun. But Ben explained to them that it was not about having fun, but more about avoiding pregnancies as they were simply too expensive for the First Order to take care of.

Rey listened just with half an ear while her mind drifted off every now and then to his hand, which was already somewhere under the hemline of the dress and she thanked the EMP bomb for making all the electricity fall out and the room so extremely dim lit due to just being illuminated by several candles and lanterns as nobody saw what was happening under the table.  
He kneaded his way to her upper leg and Rey was already on edge. She felt the space between her thighs dampen already and had to choke back a moan while she too tried to engage in the conversation somehow, but just managed to throw in short sentences.  
At some point she had such an urge to be even closer to Ben, she shuffled over some more, pressing the side of her thigh against him, while she even draped her lower leg over his. He dug his fingertips into her flesh now, so much it nearly hurt, but was still pleasant while he slowly turned his head towards her and dipped it down to stare into her very soul through these dark brown orbs.  
Stars when he looked at her like that, he probably knew what effect this gaze has on her. She bit her lip. The corner of his lips curled upwards just the slightest bit,  
she was probably the only one who knew he was mischievously smirking right now as it was such a small gesture.  
Then he turned his head forward and once again and took part in the conversation, while he let his hand slowly wander under her thigh as he lifted it up a bit.  
What was he doing? Oh...Rey thought. He lifted her thigh upon his, making her sit straddle-legged next to him.  
Oh no...what the hell were they both doing? Everybody sat next to them - all her friends, they were surrounded by people. And he was fumbling her under the table. Stars...obviously he was guilty, he started it, she knew he liked it when they were on the verge of being found out. Or was she guilty, because she nearly glued herself to him? Or because she started pressing her thigh against his several times? Or because...she even had another surprise for him, except for wearing a dress?

Whoever started this had a freaking dirty mind and both were getting extremely aroused by it and nobody dared to stop.  
His hand wandered even further upwards, now more gentle again. Eventually, he refrained to just use the fingertips of his index and middle finger to draw slow lines across her skin as he was teasing her.  
She knew she was absolutely damp already, hell she was leaking. She wondered that he didn't already have a wet glove. Or maybe he did and didn't realize it.  
Rey clenched her glass in both her hands and stared at it intensely as he was just a second away from touching her - there. Exactly where she wanted and liked it.  
But still they were in the middle of a conversation with the others and she knew, she'll have to moan when he touches her.  
Rey was getting so flustered and excited that her fingers around the drink started trembling already as she opened her leg even further to give him better access.  
She must be crazy, why is she doing this? Why in the galaxies name would she consider this to be a good idea at ...aaaaaallll - stars he reached her slick folds and slowly slid his fingers up and down in her own fluids.

She instantly pulled up the glass and brought it to her mouth as she moaned into it while gulping down some of the beer so the others wouldn't hear her.  
Ben obviously heard it as he also found something else out right now, because he clasped his other gloved hand above his mouth in surprise as he groaned out:

"Ffff..."

Poe looked at him with a confused look until Ben blinked several times and completed his stuttering to:

"Fffff-force."

While Rey was still intensely occupied with looking as deep as possible into her glass, so nobody could see her aroused face while he was ever so slowly gliding his fingers over her outer lips, she felt Ben instantly pressing into her mind asking absolutely agitated:

 _"The fuck...you...why are you not wearing anything under that dress?"_

She glanced sideways at him with a somehow flirty grin, as she answered in his mind:

 _"Oh, I remember you being the one who told me to not wear any underwear anymore not so long ago..."_

He turned his head just the slightest bit, and glanced at her sideways until he instantly looked forward again as Poe was about to ask him confused:

"Huh? What about the force?"

"The force...I suddenly felt it."

Ben choked out, completely not convinced at what he was babbling out right now, but obviously also not willing to explain it any further to the pilot as he just kept staring him down, while his fingers rested on Rey's inner thigh. Poe still looked confused at him, shrugged his shoulder and answered with bewilderment:

"Uhm..okay."

The conversation went on, as the others just kept on talking after this strange exchange of words while Ben turned his head slowly around to Rey as his gloved fingers now slowly started circling her moist entry, to which she had to grab the edge of the table and dig her fingernails into the wooden surface as she tried to stare forwards normally.  
Why did they keep on doing this? Shouldn't she just pull her leg away from his right now? This was the worst. And the best. Stars how good it felt. Why wouldn't he just...?  
By Carayah's soul, he just slipped the tips of his fingers into her. A shudder went through her whole body and she nearly moaned through the whole room, but instead leaned her forehead against his shoulder and let out a quiet noise as she pressed together her lips hard to not let any noise leave them.  
She heard him in her mind again as if he breathed into her ear:

 _"Maker...Rey. I want to fucking throw you on that table and make you come so undone you'll forget how to spell your own name right now."_

Okay, she'll stay with her head some longer on his shoulder, as she certainly was completely red right now and nobody should see it.  
Good thing she had her hair open, as it fell on her face right now, hiding her burning cheeks.  
Obviously, he was bold enough right now to slip his fingers completely inside her and she buckled her hip in response against his hand. He meant it seriously.  
If she's not going to do something about it soon, she would probably come right under that table next to her friends, as she knew he had absolutely no shame about it and probably would really throw her on the table after some time. So she had to find a solution as she also felt like she enjoyed it too much to just make him stop.  
The moment his ring finger started slowly dipping in and out of her, while his index finger simultaneously started drawing circles on her clit of which he exactly knew she would come in just a matter of seconds if he continued in the same rhythm and combination, she decided to do something to save their dignity.  
So she answered in his mind, or better panted in his mind from feeling the pleasure built up inside her while she slowly pulled her head away from his shoulder and tried to look as angry as possible at him:

 _"Ok Ben...You can throw me anywhere else but here and do anything you want to me - but upstairs. First, you gotta help me bring out a quarrel with you so we can bolt."_

"Seriously Ben I can't believe you still want to keep the lightsaber forms III and II separated like that? You were the one who told me to let go of old things!"

She hissed out, hoping he'd catch up what she was trying to do, while the others looked at her sudden outburst. He stopped the movement of his hand between her legs,  
as he stared at her for a second, probably trying to understand what she was doing, until he argued back:

"Yes to let go if it makes sense Rey! It doesn't make sense to mix up Soresu and Makashi forms if there are not the right opponents for it.  
Your whole fighting stance would weaken and you'll stand there without proper defence. This is bantha shit!"

The heads of the others turned to him with confusion written over their faces, while she felt his fingers leaving her and she nearly sighed at the loss of contact but instead ranted aggressively:

"You know what bantha shit is? That you dare to lecture me about these forms, while you aren't even able to use them correctly, not even knowing how to meditate before a battle. I never saw you take a second to meditate. No wonder you always fight so offensively neutral!"

"Of course I do! It's not my fault you are not able to see it. Do you even know what a center of being is? I am 100% sure you don't Rey!"

"How should I know, if you never thought me - Ben!"

"I can teach you right now!"

"Fine! Then do so!"

"Certainly not in a bar! As if anybody could concentrate on meditative forms here!"

"Well then upstairs!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Both stood up in an instant as Rey angrily stomped forwards to the door of the bar, while Ben shook his head in annoyance and made a dismissive hand gesture as he shrugged his shoulders.  
Finn commented with a confused glance:

"Soresu? Center of being? What? I didn't understand a word."

"Probably some force thing. I don't know. Obviously, they've got something to sort out."

Rose answered too a little baffled and they went back to their conversation, not understanding what just happened, but also not bothered enough to ask them about it,  
or even follow them.  
While Rey and Ben went to the door, they kept bickering at each other, while she simultaneously asked him in his mind:

 _"Did they believe it?"_

 _"Yes."_

He answered shortly as they slipped through the door.  
Before it clicked shut they already wrestled their bodies against the wall of the staircase, as she took possession of his mouth to which he let out a groan and started to bite her lower lip in anticipation. His hands were all over her naked thighs, pulling her dress up, while she threw him against the wall, bringing one knee up against his crotch,  
to which he let out a deep growl and pressed her even further against his arousal.  
He dragged his wet mouth over her jaw down to her neck and chest, while he groaned like a hungry animal the whole time, until he finally ripped down the dress so one already pointed nipple was revealed which he instantly sucked in so hard she cried out in pain as well as pleasure and tugged at his hair, as she pressed his head further against her breast.

His continuous growls deliciously vibrated against her skin as she arched against him and he suddenly heaved her up, strong hands gripping and kneading her bottom,  
while she was in the air, simultaneously clawing her fingernails into his chest, pressing her body as close as possible against his.  
Rey swung her already quivering legs around his hips, feeling his hard member pressing against her core and oh she felt him so much already as she didn't have any underwear obstructing the sensation of him and his rough fabric brushing against her swollen folds to which she mewled out impatiently:

"Stars Ben...please just take me."

He bit down on her nipple and growled in response, which brought forth a loud moan from her lips while he practically threw her on the stairs where she landed on her back as he instantly leaned over her and parted her legs to dive right between them. He had such a wild gaze in his eyes as if a predator was circling his prey, while he yanked her dress upwards to completely expose her down below.  
She reached out with her hand to rip open his pants as she couldn't wait any longer, she needed to feel him. His warmth, his skin, his...maker why was he leaning down now? Instead of letting her pull open his pants, he suddenly kneeled down two steps lower on the staircase and embraced both her thighs with his hands, to spread them apart as he brought down his head to let his mouth crush onto her already dripping center.

"BEN!"

She yelled out in absolute surprise, but couldn't say anymore as his tongue already dipped into her pool of moisture and she nearly lost her senses.  
Rey had only enough time to rip at his black messy hair which tickled on her stomach before his tongue found her little nub of pleasure which he boldly caressed in wet circles. She arched her back against the staircase as her breathing came out in panted whimpers while he pressed her trembling thighs even further up to spread her wider apart as she yearned for release, not able anymore to take the pressure of the molten waves of pleasure announcing her climax.  
She had to clasp herself with one hand on the stair-rail as it felt as if the world around her started spinning and she was falling.

As her hips started moving on their own rhythmically against his slippery tongue she let out a piercing scream, which she instantly muffled with a hand over her mouth while she felt herself being completely consumed by the waves of her orgasm which rippled through her whole body, making every muscle shudder in ecstasy.  
Hot liquid filled her core as she felt his tongue sliding into her again, taking it all, while her vision faded to black several times as she reached unbearable heights she never experienced before.

She still had an iron grip on his hair and the railing, while he held her quivering thighs until she heard screams and loud bangs outside of the door and before she calmed down and was able to pull her head up, she already saw the sizzling red light of his lightsaber being activated, as he turned around while wiping his mouth clean from her juices with his sleeve.  
She was still somewhere in highpleasureland, but also felt the disturbance outside and wobbly stumbled down the stairs as she too activated her lightsaber  
and somehow tried to adjust her dress again as they both force-pushed the door open together to see what was happening outside.

* * *

 **They were so horny they didn't even make it up the stairs.**  
 **And then Ben gets cockblocked by something outside after making such an effort for Rey. Poor boy. No wonder he's always angry.**


	42. Chapter 42: Release

**A short, but heartbreaking one.**

 **littleluny: No don't feel like a stalker - I am happy about each of your comments and nope it's not a bar fight :)  
Summerlynn and megumisakura: You both too! Thanks for every comment!**

* * *

As soon as the door opened, heavy fume filled Rey's nostrils and burned in her eyes. She couldn't see anything at all, as the whole bar was fogged with smoke while she still heard people screaming and things falling over. Then also loud shots, but they sounded different than the ones she was used to. Not like normal blasters. Louder and more mechanical. Shit shit shit! All her friends were here and none of their blaster weapons worked yet, still because of the EMP bomb they ignited.  
She had to act fast. She has to see anything at all to be able to fight.  
Rey reached out her hand and pushed out a wave of the force, hoping it would somehow blow the smoke away while she perceived Ben already running right into it,  
as she caught a glimpse of red light somewhere on the other side of the room. Obviously, he didn't need to see anything to fight.

Luckily her force push worked and the smoke instantly blew down onto floor level, as if white clouds were hovering over the ground.  
Finally, she could see what exactly was going on and she was shocked. Several blue-greyish dressed figures in long coats, helmets and strange red goggles stood in the room and fought against the revolutionaries and rebels, using hand and fists as well as pistols which obviously held normal bullets and were mechanical, which meant they worked really well in contrary to her friend's weapons.  
Judging by their attire and armbands they belonged to the Coruscant underground police which was taken over by the First Order one day prior.

Poe and Connky were wrestling with one of the policemen on the floor, successfully disarming him together and using his own weapon against him, while Rose pulled up tables vertically to hide with others behind it. Finn had also somehow managed to overwhelm a police officer and was next to Rose, ducking behind a flipped over table to shoot back at the attackers, who were flooding the room. Poe and Finn managed to shoot several down, even if it took longer than it would usually take with blasters and the former Stormtrooper was already out of bullets after two successful shots.

Ben was already in the middle of the whole fight, slicing and force pushing his way through them and she saw that it was the slightest bit harder for him to dodge metal bullets instead of laser blasts as several shots were passing him really closely and he sometimes wore a look of shock on his face when he evaded them the last second as they were rushing past him just an inch next to his cheek.  
This will be a tough one she thought when even Ben has problems with them, but there was no other choice now and she darted forward to plunge her lightsaber into the first person in uniform in front of her. Immediately two policemen turned around when they saw her and yelled:

"It's the Jedi! Kill her! Kill them both!"

They stormed forward as several others did too and she force pushed a table into two of them which broke apart with a loud crack and they were struck by it, while Ben immediately reacted and threw his lightsaber in a circling motion in Rey's direction, slicing through the chests of three men, as he reached his hand out again to call it back.  
Connky, Rose and several other rebels immediately took the guns of the fallen men and started shooting back at the attackers while Rey kicked her elbow and legs against one man who grabbed her from behind. He didn't let go of her and they struggled together until she let herself fall backwards and they both crashed onto a table,  
while he brought his pistol up and tried to shoot it against her head.  
But she was faster, turned her lightsaber off, flipped it over fast and ignited it again behind her back to stab it right through his chest.  
He immediately let go of her, while three others ran into her direction aiming their pistols at her, as one pressed the trigger and she ducked away, evading it the last second, but saw Ben already reaching out his hand and all of them knelt down in front of her and grabbed their necks desperately while gurgling from pain and lack of air as he was crushing their windpipes, while he ran over to fight at her side.

Through the open door where the police assault started, she saw several more men standing outside until something caught her attention.  
One of them was running forward, striking with his arm out to cast a small object inside the bar and somehow she felt this was not another smoke bomb.

"BEN!"

She screamed and reached out her hand to deflect what was coming to them as he already did the same.  
Both of them channelled their force next to each other as the small metallic sphere flew into the room, but it was already too late as Rey saw in slow motion how it detonated into an expanding particle field that atomized everything it touched, as the floor, chairs and tables in its radius started to burn to crisps into black ashes in an instant.  
No this can't be true, they can't die like this now!

There has to be something else! But she wasn't able to deflect it anymore as it already exploded. Ben neither, who looked shocked and screamed at it in anger.  
In a desperate attempt, she bridged their minds completely together and tried to meld their forces once again which instantly worked this time and with their combined will to survive this as well as their fear for each other's life's they managed to slow down the explosion as well as she felt great heat and power flow through her hand and through Ben's hand.  
Rey felt as if his trembling hand was hers and vice versa, she didn't even feel like herself anymore, or like just one person.  
She felt as if she was standing right at the same spot where Ben stood as pain traversed from the tip of her finger, over to her arm, her shoulder blade and her chest as if it would burn her beating heart or Ben's beating heart. She felt both hearts beating next to each other and both hurt so much right now.

She cried out by the excruciating pressure she felt under her ribcage until her, or Ben's other arm slowly moved up under an almighty effort.  
She didn't know anymore who it was as if they mirrored each other's movements, or were one melded person doing the motion.  
The pain soared through her whole body now and her vision started flickering as if the inside's of her eyes started burning out.  
She was now screaming in agony, as well as Ben too growled out in pain.

When her other arm reached the same height as the other one, her fingers spread apart and she felt all the power, the fire, the pain being sucked out of her.  
Or was she deliberately pushing it out? Were they doing this together? As her vision flickered back she saw a trail of destruction leaving her fingertips as it burned a huge hole through the wall in front of them and wiped out the whole police squad who had waited outside to burst inside. They all were obliterated by the huge wave of energy Ben and here were somehow pushing out right now and the attackers burned to ashes in a matter of seconds, as well as everything behind and around them.

Eventually, all the energy, power and pain was gone and a sudden feeling of emptiness and total exhaustion overcame her body as her legs immediately gave in and she plummeted ungracefully on the wooden floor, bruising her knees hard as she collapsed. The last thing she saw before blackening out was Ben, who dropped down next to her, but both managed to hook their fingertips together the last moment as they fell unconscious next to each other on the floor.

* * *

Rey had a prickling, cold feeling on her fingertips. She blinked several times before slowly opening her eyes and her whole body ached, felt uncomfortable and empty as if she has been beaten and then laid in the hot sands on Jakku for hours, burning her skin, her inner organs, her hands, her chest - just everything.  
Rey laid on her stomach on the floor, but her fingers were reaching out to something, something smooth and cold.  
She groaned from exhaustion and her gaze wandered to her fingertips, which were pressed against a wall of glass of some sorts.  
Just now she realized she was in some kind of an endless space, with just that opaque wall in front of her.  
Behind it, she saw dark, moving shadows and it strangely reminded her of that moment she went into the mirror cave on Ahch-To to find answers about her parents.  
She tried to stand up, or at least sit upright but her body felt too weak, so she just remained on the floor with her fingers pressed against the cold surface.

The shadows formed into two human bodies and her breath hitched as her heart started beating faster. One was a huge, obviously male shadow and the other one a smaller female one.  
They slowly walked towards each other and reached out their hands to touch their fingertips, until they fell into a deep embrace in which they stayed for several seconds.  
Suddenly the female figure cringed and bent over until she dropped dead on the floor while the male one backed off and the shadows dissolved into nothingness,  
leaving only the white glass wall in front of her.  
She could only guess who these shadows resembled and it ripped her heart out. She did not want this to become true.  
Rey felt panic crawling up her spine and her mouth opened into a scream, as she pounded against the wall in desperation, trying to make the shadows come back.  
But nothing left her lips. She couldn't scream. No noise was coming out of her mouth. As well as no shadows appeared again.

* * *

Her eyes opened instantly and she felt herself lying on the hard floor in the tavern again, the smell of burning wood filled her nostrils as she perceived the prickling, cold feeling on her fingertips again. This time when her gaze wandered to her fingertips, she saw Ben's gloved hand reaching out to her as his fingertips were hooked with hers, while he still laid unconscious on the floor next to her.  
Tears welled up in her eyes as she groaned out from her exhausted body and the horrible vision she had just witnessed, which shook her to the very core.  
She let go of his hand and tried to push herself up, as Finn already was on her side to help her. Ben too started to move again and his eyes blinked several times before they opened completely and darted over to hers. She saw absolute panic and hurt in them and they glistened with despair.  
Tears streamed down her face as she breathed out with a trembling voice:

"Ben...?"

He didn't stand up, but rolled over onto his back instead and laid there as he pulled his gloved palm over his eyes and his other one balled into a fist above his heart until she heard him silently sobbing out:

"This vision is not true...It can't be...Rey...tell me it isn't."

* * *

 **Uh-oh, what did they see? Obviously a force vision about the future. What does it mean?**


	43. Chapter 43: Vader

Rey had never seen Ben cry before. Actually, she didn't even see it right now. But she heard him, while his black-gloved palm covered his eyes.  
He was absolutely terrified of what he had seen in the vision, which was obviously the same she had.  
She knew this was a force vision and whatever it showed them will definitely happen in one or another way.  
As she perceived it, the two figures resembled Ben and her and she would die somehow. Knowing that it will happen and there is no way to avoid it, tightened her chest from fear and made her feel so helpless about the future. Unlike Ben, she was indeed afraid of dying as she wanted to live a happy, long life with him, with her friends with the new generation of force users. There was so much to do, to see, to live for. She definitely was not weary of life, but more so over a very optimistic person, who wished to live.

Tears streamed down Rey's cheeks while her breath hitched in her throat as she slowly scrambled over to him, placed a hand on his balled fist and bent herself over to lay her head on his chest which was rapidly heaving up and down.  
She knew everybody was watching them and wanted to know what the hell happened and why both were so devastated right now.  
But she couldn't be bothered with questions.  
Rey needed to be with Ben.  
She pulled her other hand up and slowly brushed it over his gloved one, which he still clasped over his eyes.  
His breathing trembled as he tried to fight the tears and she choked out:

"Ben...I... It will not become true. We won't let it happen..."

For a long time, he didn't react at all and the only movement and noises she perceived from him were his erratic breathing under her head.  
Rey saw Finn was about to ask what this all was about, but she stared him down with glistening eyes, motioning him to keep quiet for some time which he understood and nodded to give them some space.  
Eventually, Ben pulled his hand away from his eyes and raked them shakily through his black, messy hair as he pressed his lips together before he croaked out:

"Rey, force vision always show the future. It is inevitable. Darth Vader had such a vision about his wife and couldn't..."

Suddenly Ben's eyes widened and he pushed himself up from the ground as he grabbed her arms and tugged her upwards too,  
then inhaled sharply and again looked at Rey with panic in his eyes.

"Couldn't what Ben? What do you mean?"

Rey implored, feeling uneasy about how he stared at her, not even knowing that Darth Vader at some point ever had a wife.

"Through a vision he...he knew his wife was going to die in childbirth. To save her from certain death he pledged himself to the dark side. But he was so far gone in the darkness, instead of saving her - he killed her himself."

Rey's eyes widened at what she just heard. She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to. She knew Darth Vader was evil, actually the evilest person she ever heard of.  
Hell, there were so many legends and lore about his rule of the galaxy. Everyone feared him back then and still does.  
Ben is the direct descendant of him, his grandson. Darth Vader's blood flows through his veins. Rey tends to forget that, as she had seen the light in Ben,  
so often she had seen it. She knew he would never be like him. There was too much light in him to ever fall to the dark side completely.  
He carried too many emotions, too much love in his heart to ever be able to become like his grandfather.  
As well as she knew, he would rather behead himself with his lightsaber than ever hurt Rey let alone kill her.  
She knew there was nothing in the galaxy that would make him hurt her.  
Does he think he would be like his grandfather and do that to her? Probably he did, as it was exactly what Snoke pushed him to become over the last years.  
To become the next Vader. Which he never will.  
Rey tried to have a steady voice when she took his face in between both her palms, so he'd look at her:

"Ben. You are not him. You will never be. You are yourself, a Solo and an Organa, no Vader, no more Kylo Ren, you have so much light in your heart, which he had not.  
You love me and I love you. I trust you. If I know one thing for certain, nothing in the whole galaxy could push you to kill me.  
Please don't go this way. You know you never would. Stop thinking like that.  
Snoke manipulated you into thinking you shall become like him, but you never did. You never will. We will find a solution together.  
We won't let this happen."

Ben stared at her as if he was at a loss for words which was rare for him. Not that he was the talker, quite the contrary actually. But he always knew what to say,  
what to answer. Not right now. He remained silent in fear.  
Everybody stood around them and luckily nobody seemed dead or severely injured, but they all listened to the two force users talking to each other with shocked faces.  
If it was because of the prior fight, or because of Rey's and Ben's conversation, she didn't know.  
She saw her friends shifting around, getting nervous as they didn't understand what was going on until Finn couldn't hold back anymore and asked alarmed:

"Sorry to disturb you, but you've got to tell us: What happened right now? What is all of this? What did you do? Why...why are you talking about Vader and why would Ben kill you? What should not become true? I'm seriously worrying like crazy right now!"

Rey let go of Ben's cheeks, while she maintained eye contact with him and instead took both his hands into hers, which he squeezed back lightly.  
Then without letting go, or looking away from him, she explained to Finn:

"I don't know what happened with the explosion or what exactly we did.  
When we fell unconscious we shared a force vision about the future...It was about us. It showed...it showed me dying."

"WHAT?"

Finn suddenly yelled out and immediately fell down on his knees beside her, while Poe and Rose too gasped and yelled out a loud "WHAT?" too.  
A murmur went through the crowd around them and everybody looked even more shocked.  
Again Finn asked loudly in panic, as he shook her upper arm even:

"WHAT? This is...I mean it's just a vision, isn't it? It doesn't need to happen. Aren't they just like dreams? Bad dreams? Dreams don't show the truth. They are fantasy!"

"Force visions always show the truth and the future. It's destiny."

Ben pressed out devastatingly with a grim face.

"And your destiny was to become the next Darth Vader. To enslave the whole galaxy. To fall completely to the dark side. To become a Sith Lord. All of it did not become true because you chose your own destiny. Because you did not accept your fate just like that but fought for it to change. Freed yourself from what should have been and wrote your own future. Because people helped you. Because you let people help you. And look where you are now, on the complete opposite of your so-called destiny.  
Which ultimately saved your life, mine and everyone else's several times. So don't tell me everything is predetermined. Don't tell me my future is. I will not let it happen.  
We will not!"

Rey declared with a sudden resolute expression.  
Ben's eyes flickered over her face after staring at her endlessly in absolute despair and she saw them changing. As if he realized something and made up his mind about it.  
Then he proclaimed in such a low, menacing voice, Rey shuddered by its sound:

"If I have to burn down the whole fucking galaxy to prevent it, I will. Whatever it takes to save your life, I will do it.  
I will not repeat the same mistake Darth Vader did. We will save you. We will write our own future and if we have to become so powerful to bend destiny itself,  
we are going to do so. You are not alone Rey and you won't die."

Rey was shocked at his sudden determination. She had absolutely no doubt he'd burn the whole galaxy down for her.  
She knew he could go completely insane if he was desperate, hurt or angry.  
But probably he knew that too and already restrained himself when he told her, that he'd not repeat what Darth Vader did, as well as using the term 'we' when it came to saving her life, instead of just 'I' which meant he accepted that they both will together change destiny and not just him single-handily as it usually was.  
So instead of lecturing him that everything what he just said sounded insane and somehow frightening, she leaned forward, kissed him reassuringly and stared at his brown eyes, while they were nose to nose and just answered in a whisper:

"Neither are you, Ben."

Suddenly Poe interrupted with a determined voice as he too kneeled down and put a hand on Ben's and Rey's shoulders:

"I am sorry, but two you are slightly wrong. Not just you would burn down the whole galaxy for Rey. We all would. You both are not alone, we all will together prevent whatever you two saw. Nobody will leave you alone with this burden, we are family and we protect each other."

* * *

After they overcame the initial shock about their shared force vision, Ben helped Rey stand up as she felt really wobbly on her legs after the strange force technique they somehow used as well as her whole body still ached and burned from the inside. Not as much as it did when they absorbed the explosion, but it still felt as if she'd been beaten up. She knew that he too was exhausted judging by the wavering of his force, but of course, he wouldn't show it.  
Weakness was something Ben would never show. Except when it came to Rey. He would show her his weaknesses, as he trusted her enough to not exploit them,  
as well as she herself was his weakness.

Several revolutionaries started scouting the streets outside after the attack, looking for more police squads, luckily didn't find any, but kept patrolling anyway to be sure.  
The tavern was severely damaged and the whole area behind the huge hole in the wall was burned to crisps. At least there weren't any corpses outside, as they were also nothing more than dust.  
All the others instantly started to repair and clean up everything, while Connky told Ben and especially Rey several times to just sit down and rest as they had done more than enough with saving everyone, as Rey was always on the verge to stand up and help.  
As by a miracle, nobody got hurt, except for several bruises and scratches. Connky had a bloody nose, but Poe was already tending to it affectionately while both were suddenly discussing something with concern written all over their faces.  
Rey and Ben retreated to another corner in the room, as they watched the others clean up the mess and - maker knows where - got disposed of the bodies,  
which lay scattered across inside the tavern on the floor. Most of them were killed by a lightsaber, which was probably also the reason there were no deaths on the rebel's side as Rey and Ben obviously burst in a second before the assault really started, preventing the worst with their presence.

They were sitting next to each other on a bench as Ben was unusually quiet, even for his standards, staring dead ahead to somewhere as he was supporting his elbows on both knees. She knew he was still deeply troubled about the vision, probably sifting through every possibility in time and space to prevent whatever might happen.  
Rey too was scared but didn't know what to do about her fate at this very moment, except for accepting somehow knowing about it.  
She didn't know when, how or under which circumstances it could happen. Hell, she even didn't see the shadows clearly, maybe it was her dying of old age in his arms.  
Who even knows? Rey reached a hand out to place her palm on his upper thigh to which he flinched and inhaled sharply at her touch, as he obviously was so deep in thought he didn't expect it. His head turned around and she tried to smile at him as she admitted:

"I think we had a beautiful evening anyway. If we'd leave out the attack and the vision of course. Thank you for making me feel so special this evening, you really did.  
I feel as if I learned so much about you today - the landing of the ship, the fight on the bridge, this fight right now, what you told me about your feelings. We completed each other and looked out for the other one exceptionally well the whole time. I think we are doing our best to protect each other's lives."

Ben listened to her closely and squeezed his eyes together, contemplating her words. Eventually, he placed his palm on her hand which still laid on his leg and stroked her fingers, until he announced, as always completely unaffected by her compliment:

"We will train - a lot. And we need to translate the Jedi texts faster. They must contain any information about our bond. Obviously, we are able to increase our power immensely with it. We need to find out how to use this to our advantage - control it. Right now we are using it for dirty talk or feeling each other's emotions - which I have to admit is both quite nice, but there is more to it. There must be so much more. We both felt something extraordinary happening when we absorbed that explosion."

"It felt as if we were one. I didn't know who I was anymore as if your hand, your body was mine simultaneously. I couldn't distinguish between mine and your heartbeat anymore. It felt incredibly strong, but also painful."

She added and knitted her eyebrows together in a questioning manner.

"The pain originated from absorbing the blast. It's an extremely straining technique only experienced force users should use as it can easily kill you.  
But the feeling of being one - this was something entirely else. I never experienced it before. It was truly exceptional."

Ben answered but suddenly turned his head around as there was a loud static noise coming somewhere out of Poe's direction.  
He was still talking with Connky but started fumbling in his jacket suddenly, until he pulled out his commlink and yelled into the whole room:

"It's starting to work again guys! Woohoo! Communication is back on and it's a message from - oh the fuck - oh shit - no - kriff! It's Leia...Ben? Would you like...?"

Ben shook his head with a frown and formed a 'No' with his mouth, while Poe huffed out in desperation, inhaled deeply and took the commlink to receive the message.  
Immediately there was Leia's voice yelling into it, so loud Rey flinched together from her angry tone:

"POE DAMERON YOU SCRUFFY SPACER OF A LASERBRAIN I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU DID!"

Poe looked like a beaten dog as he rubbed his forehead in frustration until he opened his mouth to answer:

"Hey, Leia...I...uhm"

"DON'T YOU KRIFFING HEY LEIA ME! It's General Organa for you! You will get so demoted I have to come up with a new rank especially for you, which will be far under all the already existing ones! Where is Ben? I know you two planned this together!"

"He is right here. You can talk to him."

Poe grinned now broadly as he lunged out and threw the commlink to Ben, who caught it over his head and looked at it disgruntled.  
Immediately Leia's voice was to be heard:

"BEN FUCKING SOLO! I KNEW YOU ALWAYS WERE AS HALF-WITTED AS YOUR FATHER WAS, BUT THIS IS..."

Ben suddenly dropped the commlink on the floor and crushed it with his boot, looking annoyed as fuck about this message and stood up afterwards.  
Everybody stared at him wide-eyed, Poe even had an open mouth and stuttered out:

"You can't just...it's Leia. She will eat us alive! You can't just cut her off! And...my commlink is broken now. What the hell Ben!"

"You will hear more than enough of her when we are back on the base. So simply enjoy the next hours of silence in your current rank as a commander, Dameron.  
If the commlink already worked, the ships and blasters should start working too soon."

Ben sneered and took a blaster which laid around on one of the tables and tried shooting on the ground - and it worked.  
Everybody got excited suddenly and buggered around with their things to try everything out, commlinks, blasters, holopads, the lights in the tavern.  
Fortunately, most devices worked again.  
Rey was a little shocked about Ben's interaction with his mother, but obviously, this wasn't the first time it played out like this and she imagined him as a young boy having these kinds of arguments with her often enough for both to be annoyed by each other.

Connky suggested to the Resistance group to follow him to a ship, so they'd take a look if it's already working too as it was only a matter of time when the next police squad will arrive to raid the tavern. Now that they knew, they harboured Ben and Rey and probably other people responsible for the crashing First Order battleships and the blackout. Luckily the ship worked too as Rey controlled it's every function to make sure it was in a perfect working order again.  
Which unfortunately meant, that they had to leave now, even if they had such a beautiful time with Connky and the others.  
She wondered why he wouldn't come with them until Poe explained that they talked through this already and that he is more or less the leader of the revolutionary group on Coruscant and can't just leave, as well as Poe can't just leave the Resistance. But both were sure they'd be together after the war as Poe planned to move to Coruscant afterwards. Whenever this will be. Connky will also right after today give up the tavern and move somewhere else on the planet as he obviously had been found out and needed to keep a low profile for now.

There was a heartfelt farewell with everyone, even Ben at least shook Connky's hand, while Poe and he took their time to say goodbye to each other.  
Rey could only imagine how bad it must feel for Poe to leave him on the planet, to be separated when he knows that the First Order searches for him, not knowing if the partner will still be alive the next day. But Connky had the same fear for Poe, as he too was in danger, taking part in insanely dangerous missions every day while the First Order and every headhunter in the galaxy tried to find out where the Resistance Base was. She too hugged Connky and thanked him for the hospitality, wishing him all the luck in the galaxy and dearly hoped to see him soon again, as he was just a freaking lovely, nice guy who she'd already taken into her heart after one evening.  
Obviously, Poe had a good taste in men and they both fit together perfectly well.

Everybody boarded the ship, which was provided by the revolutionaries and they flew back to the base while discussing through the whole flight what Ben and Rey did with the grenade, which was actually a Therma Detonator with a blast radius of 20 to 100 meters as Poe explained to them.  
Her friends were really excited about it, as the others described that whatever they did was somehow so strong even they felt the force shifting around them and described the incident as if the air surrounding them started flickering and distorting suddenly. Nobody had ever seen something like this before and Ben took a great interest in their description as it sounded like they somehow bend the space around their bodies.  
Rey too didn't really know what else was happening before, while they redirected the power of the explosion and was surprised at what her friends told them.

Eventually, they reached the base and Poe was already getting nervous about being confronted by Leia, while Ben was unflappable about it.  
Rey too didn't know what will happen but prepared herself to get something similar to the last time she was put under house arrest on the Millenium Falcon.  
Which was ridiculous. But she would do so again if it made Leia content about their deed somehow.

When the ship landed, they already saw Leia and several other Generals standing in the hangar as she had her arms crossed in front of her chest and the most pissed look on her face, which surpassed even Ben's by lightyears.  
They all dismounted together and she instantly darted forward to the group and tried slapping Ben across his cheek, who just ducked away and walked past her without acknowledging his mother at all. She turned around in surprise and wanted to say something to him, but instead decided to slap Poe, who took it guiltily with a lowered head.  
Rey found it absolutely strange for Leia to try slapping Ben as if he still was a child, but obviously being a mother never ends, even when your small boy is a huge grown man now, who doesn't bother to get slapped in front of everyone by her.  
Ben was already completely leaving the hangar, wherever he was going, Rey didn't know but he didn't bother himself with being accused by his mother right now.  
Which she found to be quiet rude actually and again she was surprised in a bad way over the connection son and mother had with each other.  
Leia started yelling at Poe now, as he at least kept standing in front of her, ready to receive her telling-off.

"I can't believe you all endangered yourselves like that! Are you crazy? Seriously Poe! You could have died! All of you! I was worried sick!  
A ship was gone, all of you were gone too, you didn't react to any messages and I knew from the moment you two sat together something insanely stupid is emerging in those half-witted brains of yours. Then I receive the information that there is a blackout on the whole planet of Coruscant, as well as First Order battleships falling out of the sky. If I didn't know better, I'd think you'd be siblings with just half a brain each!"

* * *

 **Again Leia will be nominated to receive the mother of the year award.**


	44. Chapter 44: By the lake

**Hey there! Sorry folks for not updating so long. I went to a hospital and still am there. Don't worry, nothing bad happened, but it disrupted my normal schedule a lot :)** **I need to stay there for some time longer, so I don't know how regularly I can update, but I'll try my best.  
**  
 **Luishunter65: Sure they can and need to. Poor Ben didn't get to finish what he started. ;)**  
 **megumisakura: Thank you once again, I love your steady support!**  
 **littleluny: Thank you. Here you go.**

* * *

Rey too received her lecture by Leia, as well as the other's did. But Poe got most of it, as he was the highest ranked of them all, therefore responsible for everything and everyone. He motioned her to leave it to him as he vanished with Leia into her office while she kept scolding him.  
Before they reached the base again, the whole group had decided to not tell Leia about the vision Ben and Rey shared, as they didn't want to make her worry, as well as both thought this was their own problem to solve through the force.

Rey felt a bit helpless and sorry for Poe, but listened to him and retired to her room, hoping she would find Ben there even if she didn't feel him being close somehow.  
When she entered her quarters, he wasn't there as she already expected due to his lacking presence in the force and she wondered where he went instead.  
She changed her clothing to her usual ones, as she still wore the dress which unfortunately got dirty from the fight on Coruscant.  
While pulling the fabric off her body she instantly remembered what Ben did to her on the staircase and a shudder went down her spine from the memory, as she could still feel his fingers on her thigh, as well as his tongue everywhere.

Nobody but him had done this to her before and due to her aroused brain, she didn't even have time to think about it at that moment if she even wanted him to do so.  
But the second he went down on her, the whole galaxy was falling apart from pleasure and just thinking about it made her feel giddy with excitement all over again.  
Whatever it was between them was like a magnetic pull and everything they did to each other was just as if they exactly knew what the other one would like.  
But then again, their minds were somehow connected. So it even made sense they knew. She was definitely looking forward to every upcoming time they are going to be intimate again and she hoped there will be a day somewhere in the future where they could really take a moment to explore each other's bodies, as every time by now was extremely heated because both of them were dead keen on each other which more or less meant they devoured one another without paying too much attention to anything else. But she never got to really look at Ben. And that's what she dearly wanted to do, really see him, feel him, explore him, taste him.  
Ben was such an alluring and exciting person, every day she felt even more drawn to him and wanted to kiss and caress every inch of his body and soul.  
She pressed the vision they shared to the back of her mind, as she couldn't and didn't want to believe it will happen but instead tried to focus on that close and warm connection they shared, which made her absolutely sure they protected each other as best as they were able to.

While Rey was still thinking about him and his touch, she had already changed into her usual clothes and just now realized that some of her Jedi books, as well as her holopad, were missing. So that's what he was doing! She tried to find him through the force, still not knowing where exactly he was but felt him already as she asked hesitantly into his mind:

 _"Ben?"_

"Yes?"

Rey heard him answer immediately without any particular emotion. She thought he'd be somehow annoyed or angry because of the encounter with his mother,  
but it didn't sound like that, so she continued:

 _"Did you take my books? Where are you?"_

 _"Yes, I did. I am near the clearing where you unrooted those trees. There's a lake a little further out. Join me."_ He commanded.

" _Alright. I'm coming over. Are you hungry?_ " Rey snorted a bit at his command but didn't mind that much as she would have joined him anyway.

"...Yes."

Ben answered and she felt surprised that he found a lake somewhere in the forest because she didn't know there was one when she went out training all these times before.  
Was he actually swimming there? No, he had the books. Why would he go to a lake? Rey didn't know and shrugged her shoulders as she left the room again. It was warm outside and near evening as the sun will go down in some hours. They didn't really eat anything since the attack of the police squad and he even said he was hungry,  
so Rey decided to make a fast run to the cantina before to grab some food as she already felt hungry for hours too.

She went over to the clearing she used for training and looked around, not seeing any lake, nor Ben, so she closed her eyes and tried to feel his presence.  
He was somewhere near, that was obvious judging by the strong energy being emitted by him. So she followed the trail of his force through the trees until finally reaching that lake he was talking about.  
Ben was on the other side, so she had to walk the whole way around, still carrying all the food with her. She huffed out a bit annoyed until she realized why he sat there,  
as he was on a green patch of grass in a small clearing between the trees. It was a beautiful place and led right to the blueish glimmering lake.  
He sat there cross-legged, one book in his lap and several others scattered around him, as well as the holopad and he was reading one, laying on his legs.

When Rey reached him, he looked up and watched her put the food down as she sat next to him too. He seemed really content and she didn't understand why as she still felt bad for getting scolded by Leia, as well as leaving Poe alone to all of this. Then again she didn't know why he just bolted like that and as soon as she was about to say something to him about it, he already squeezed his eyes together a bit, glancing at her, as if he already knew what she was going to say and stated:

"You are angered."

Rey crossed her arms in front of her chest and groaned out:

"Yeah. Actually, I am. I don't understand why you didn't talk to your mother. As predicted, she was really angry while you just bolted and let me and especially Poe deal alone with her."

Ben took a moment before he answered as he still had the book in his hands. Then he knitted his eyebrows together and explained while gesturing at the script:

"I did not see the necessity to listen to her rambling about the mission. She is too good, too lawful for this war-riddled galaxy and we are losing time. We will never come to an agreement. I know you wouldn't leave with me as you still listen to her. Dameron was prepared for this lecture, so I did something useful instead."

The moment Ben had said it, she knew he was right - once again. She wouldn't dare to just leave Leia like he did. Rey respected Leia too much and she would not dare to walk away from that conversation and yes - Poe knew what he was getting into.  
While Ben on the other hand probably had countless of these arguments with her before and was just used to it, as well as tired of it.  
Maybe translating these Jedi texts wasn't the worst idea to do for him instead as they still were just about one third through it.  
She huffed out and stuffed some food into her mouth while she glared at him and answered sarcastically with a full mouth:

"I don't have the "my son was gone for years and I forgive him everything" bonus. I can't just walk away."

Ben looked at her with a sudden smirk as he took the other bowl and started eating too. Unlike Rey he emptied his mouth before answering:

"No, you don't. But I found another bonus you might possess."

Now Rey grew suspicious as she didn't know what he was referring to. The spoon with the food on top went slower to her mouth than before as she watched him with interest as he put down his bowl on to the ground and motioned her to do the same.  
Then he asked with a little grin:

"Did you ever taste Jogan fruits?"

"I heard of them, but we never got any fruits on Jakku."

Rey admitted and blushed a bit as she still felt worthless sometimes for living such a simple life before, not knowing or experiencing a lot of things from the other planets.  
But she also didn't understand why he asked about fruits suddenly and she wondered if he just wanted to change the topic away from what they were talking about.  
Ben leaned forward and she knew he was going to kiss her. She couldn't be mad at him anymore, as he was right about her and his mother.  
So she smiled a bit and closed her eyes as she felt his fingers grazing her cheek, while his nose touched hers as he mumbled:

"Then open your mind for me, Rey."

Rey was surprised as she thought he'd just kiss her like he normally does, but obviously, he had something else in mind. Whatever it was, he wanted to show her something so she listened and freed her mind for him as she felt him leaning forward even more, his breath grazed her partly opened lips as she felt Ben nudging her consciousness with the force.

Suddenly she saw fleeting pictures of Ben as a much younger man, than he was now, maybe about 16, his black, wavy hair a little shorter, but still long enough to frame his face and cover his ears, as he stood together with his mother in front of a buffet at some official event which looked like a ball with several important personalities.

 _It was obvious he didn't like to be there, as he looked unnerved and rolled his eyes every now and then, but Leia shushed him to behave and explained to him what all these different kind of foods were and how to eat them. He stood next to her, with his hands clasped behind his back and huffed out in annoyance until his mother scolded him silently, so the other guests didn't hear her:_

 _"Listen Ben - Sweetheart. You know this is an important event for me, I am aware you should have been with Han today, but you know how he is._  
 _Please contain yourself this evening and don't stare at them like you'll strangle everyone here any second."_

 _Ben turned around to face her with a grimace and picked up a purple fruit which was cut open and its insides were made of orange, juicy flesh._  
 _He turned it around in his hand and examined it, as he casually noted whilst asking:_

 _"Yes, I know. Father never keeps his promises. These people here despise you and your politics mom. They are greedy liars. I hate them and you should hate them too.  
I try to pretend to be interested in the food for the evening, so what kind of fruit is this even?"_

 _Leia's face grew dark with sorrow as she saw Ben turning the piece of fruit around between his long fingers. She walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder,  
then also took a piece of the same fruit in her hand and brought it against Ben's as if she was clinking glasses with it._

 _"Ben...I know. Let's just pretend to have a nice evening together alright? This one is a Jogan fruit. It's really tasty and also used for baking cakes. Take a bite!"_

 _They both took a bite and Ben grimaced a bit and looked at her reproachfully, but then smiled as he watched his mother, who also grimaced and they both started laughing, although Ben's laugh sounded kind of sad._

The vision was finished and Rey saw the older Ben - the present Ben hovering right in front of her face, fingers caressing her cheek while he leaned forward slowly and brushed his lips carefully against hers. Something was different about the kiss, but she couldn't really put the finger on it what made it different. As soon as her tongue slid over his bottom lip she suddenly tasted something slightly...sour, but also sweet. Rey made a surprised noise as she didn't expect him to taste like that after their bowl of rice with spicy vegetables and she saw his eyes searching hers as if he expected something. She shuffled forward even more as her lips captured his completely, delving her tongue gently between his lips as he pulled her into him and shared his incredible body heat with her.

He now met her tongue with his as he opened his warm mouth a bit more against hers, deepening the kiss tentatively which made her moan against him because it felt like hot liquid was pooling inside of her, starting from her lips, ending in her toes.  
And there it was again, but now much more present on his tongue, this sour, slightly sweet taste as if she was eating a citrus fruit. But the sour taste outweighed the sweet one by far and she pulled back confused to look at him with a grimace from the prickling feeling on her lips.  
He grinned a bit and asked cheekily:

"So you like it?"

"Yeah, it's _really_ sour, but also a bit sweet. I like it but couldn't eat a whole fruit. How did you make me taste the fruit? It's not here and you didn't eat it right now.  
Just in your memory, where Leia hoaxed you with it."

She asked perplexed and blinked several times, still having this fruity taste of the non-existing Jogan fruit in her mouth as if she just has eaten it as she let the tongue glide over her teeth to taste it even more.  
Ben took the book next to him and held it up as he wiggled it around in his hand a bit and explained triumphantly:

"I finally found one part about force bonds. They are described as the strongest connection force users can establish between each other and the partners are able to learn, feel and go through the experiences and skills of their counterpart. Which I just tried out by letting you taste something I experienced years ago, without it being here actually. Obviously, it worked quite well."

Rey gasped out in surprise at this information as it sounded like they had so many possibilities suddenly - it felt like a revelation.  
They could learn, or even teach each other things through it. Does this mean...?

"Ben, you often told me I learned things much faster than other force users you knew before. When you captured me on Takodana and mind probed me,  
I saw some of your thoughts and memories, but also several of your skills. Directly afterwards I felt so incredibly powerful! I thought it came from within me,  
but could it be that I just ripped these skills from your knowledge somehow?"

Ben listened to her closely as he laid the book down again and stared at her with these deep brown eyes as he affirmed her assumption:

"That is exactly what I concluded too. It even began before the mind probing, when I found you in the forest it already started. I think our bond forged at exactly this moment and you already had access to my skills, or you would never have been able to ward it off and throw it back at me like that afterwards."

"That sounds about right, I didn't know I'd be able to do these things before actually. It just started since I met you. Does it say something about how these bonds are formed?"

Rey wondered excitedly at these new pieces of information.

"It's forged through years of working together as Master and Padawan, or with relatives, or through a deep emotional connection. That's when it can forge instantly."

Ben answered as his thumb slid over a text part in the book, probably the one he was referring to while he looked down on it, reading the signs again.  
Rey chewed her lip, while she watched him and thought of the times she learned new things suddenly without training them before and about these times Ben's and her mind connected without them actively triggering it.

"Ben...I am absolutely sure Snoke never formed our bond then. I think you did so unintentionally on Takodana because you already fell in love with me when we met the first time. It was a deep emotional connection you formed at that moment, therefore you awakened these abilities in me from our first encounter."

Ben looked up from the text and stared at her as if he was looking right into her soul. She felt goosebumps crawling up her skin as these hazelnut brown eyes searched hers, contemplating if what she said could be true. After some time he folded up the book and confirmed with a stern look on his face:

"Yes. I dare to say I know how it feels to love you now and I did it the very moment I looked into your eyes the first time. But I didn't understand it back then.  
This sizzling, unknown feeling, the urge to touch your fingertips, to connect to you was because the bond formed at that very moment. So...let's use this connection.  
Teach me something!"

"What? I...I can't teach you anything! You are the one who was trained with the force for years. I obviously learned everything from you as we just found out.  
And there is not much I know besides technical specifications or insults in different languages."

Rey babbled out a little panicked as she was aware of the differences between Ben's education and training compared to her's. Her's was pretty much non-existent  
because everything she knew and learned were things she thaught herself on Jakku before to somehow survive. Some things Han, Chewie and Finn showed her,  
but everything she knew about the force came from Ben.  
Suddenly he took her hand and circled his thumb over her wrist as he pointed out:

"Well, I don't know how to take most devices apart, let alone built something. I can't fight with a quarterstaff, I don't know many languages, I can't repair most things,  
I wouldn't know how to survive in a desert or how the hell to deal with junk traders as I don't know the value of most things. So I am certain you can teach me something as there is more than enough you know, that I don't."

Rey listened quietly as she felt his warm hands cradling her wrists and she smiled at his reassuring words. Sometimes it was hard for her to not feel like a little, poor, unimportant scavenger girl, next to the heir of the Skywalker legacy, son of Princess Organa from Alderaan and the famous smuggler Han Solo, grandson of the strongest force user in the Galaxy - Darth Vader and the former leader of the First Order.  
Good thing that he didn't give two bantha ticks about any of these titles but obviously sat right now wide-eyed with anticipation in front of her waiting to be taught teedospeak or how to repair a speeder or anything else he probably never needs in his life again, through their bond but wanted to learn it anyway because it came from her.

She shuffled forward a bit and cupped his cheek, as he closed his eyes, waiting for her to pass on her knowledge as she gently pressed her forehead against his.  
Everything around them seemed silent and she could only hear their own breathing as well as the quiet chirping of some birds in the distance. Rey felt him open up his mind as she hesitantly pushed several significant memories into him about certain events in her past which led to her learning Hutteese. She started to learn the language to be able to trade with Hutt's on Jakku, which was not something she liked as they were ruthless, unfriendly and always trying to cheat on their deals. But the more she understood their language the more she was in control of the negotiation about the prices of her goods, as well as she was able to talk her way out from certain dangerous situations.

She concentrated on giving him the whole knowledge not just specific words, thinking of the language as a whole package she was handing him.  
After some time they separated their heads as he opened his eyes and watched her a little questioning, as she decided to test his newly acquired knowledge with a  
knowing smile:

"Doe lake sa leah. If mee coaa swehma, mee whoussa do ih gee u. Haba u cansa tekka je?"

He smirked, as he obviously understood what she had said, as he suddenly started to unravel the wrappings around her arms.  
She grinned a bit as she held up her arms to make it easier for him and wondered if he really plans to do what she jokingly asked him right now.  
While he slowly took off her clothing he watched his fingertips glide over her smooth skin, as he answered with a low voice, which somehow sounded funny as he spoke another language which wasn't nearly as eloquent as he usually talked:

"Huttese it sa? Mee haat te chawa. Goola ulwan, aalwa naga moulee-rah kung ofa doe planetoo. Haba mee use ita some-ta. Mee sa wek tekk swehma,  
bet u weh peetch clok."

Rey rolled her eyes in pretended annoyance and giggled a bit as she changed her position from a sitting one to kneeling in front of him as she unbuttoned his dark tunic while he leaned back and watched her with a pleased look.  
She splayed her flat palm against his naked chest and nibbled the skin below his jaw, while she slid the opened jacket from his shoulders as he craned his neck to give her better access. Stars how she loved his smell, his taste, his muscular body, his hair, his eyes and his jawline. Ben didn't even have to do anything except for laying there in the grass, while she was touching him to make her feel aroused and excited.  
As they were already flirting again and it was obvious where this conversation was going, while she wondered if they seriously are doing dirty talk in Huttese right now,  
she raised her eyebrows and looked at him with a daring voice:

"Mhhm. Mee tinka u weh peetch clok a weel. Jee-jee di nopa fine la tee-tocky um sha chenge da."

"Noah. Jee-jee bot doe."

Ben answered with a smirk and pushed her over, so she fell back into the soft grass as he placed himself between her thighs and pulled down the greyish pants over her hips as he kissed every inch of newly revealed skin until it was down to her knees. He then lifted her legs up, pulled off her shoes and the clothing completely to toss it aside, leaving her only in panties and her shirt, while the green grass below her tickled the skin of her thighs.  
She saw his hungry eyes wandering over her body as he lifted her right leg up to bring down his mouth to her ankle and started kissing it while stroking her lower leg with his for a change ungloved fingers.  
Rey clutched patches of grass between her fists and closed her eyes as he was nibbling a wet line over her shin, her knee, her thigh, her hip until he reached her lower stomach where he stayed for a while as he took his time to suck in and lick every inch right over her panty line which he pulled downwards just the slightest bit.  
She was enthralled with his touch and let out soft moans while she arched against him in anticipation and arousal, but he didn't let himself get worked up but instead drew even slower kisses over her body which already trembled with excitement.

As he caressed her lower stomach he gently shoved up her shirt to reveal her small, perfectly round breasts with flushed pink-coloured nipples which were already erect from the sensations she was experiencing by his touch, as well as the soft breeze which grazed her skin. He gave her a smug grin and pulled the shirt over her head as she now laid almost naked on the ground in front of him, looking into his eyes with a dreamy, wanting glance.  
Ben kneeled between her thighs, trailing his flat palm over her body and rested it in the valley between her breasts, directly on her heart as he made a pleased sound while watching her being sprawled out under him.  
She chuckled at that and asked:

"What was that sound?"

Obviously, he didn't even realize he made that sweet sound as he still watched her totally mesmerized, drawing a delicately slow line with two fingers over her chest,  
ghosting over her sensitive nipples which produced a small gasp from her mouth. Then he explained as he pointed at some freckles on the inside of her left thigh:

"I never saw you like that in broad daylight, your skin illuminated by rays of the sun. It's just...You are beautiful. Oh, and as promised; You have 178 freckles.  
I wasn't sure about these here, as I couldn't see it clearly before if they were just one or two, but I see two right now. So it's definitely a 178."

She glanced at him wide-eyed as her mouth opened in surprise. Then she pushed herself up from the ground and straddled his hip between her legs as she embraced him completely and covered his mouth with hers, giving him several small kisses while she grinned broadly and mumbled against his lips:

"Stars Ben, you are the fucking sweetest and at certain times most innocent man in the whole galaxy! I thought you made a joke back then, when you told me, you'll count them. I never thought you'd really do so. 178 freckles huh? Didn't know that myself, tell me if I'll get more, or lose some! And to get back to the swimming part; I think you need to shed some clothes too before we jump in."

With that, she pushed Ben backwards into the grass, as he did before with her, turned around and sat the other way round on his stomach, while she reached forward and grabbed his boots to toss them off onto the ground next to them.  
He pressed his flat palms shamelessly and without hesitation on both sides of her butt and squeezed it as he growled out:

"Stars Rey...this is a _very_ decent view."

She snorted at that comment and opened his black pants, which she also slid down completely to reveal a very erect member, proudly protruding in between her angled thighs. Rey had already wondered how he managed to keep calm the whole time after their heated making out session on the tavern's staircase on Coruscant got interrupted.  
Obviously, he didn't really, as he was already on edge as soon as her fingertip grazed his sensitive skin and he moaned out loudly suddenly while his abdominal muscles tensed up as soon as she grabbed him completely between her fingers and slowly started to pump up and down.  
Watching her hands working on his length as well as hearing his continuous moaning and feeling him now taking the freedom to slide his thumbs right under her panty to glide them back and forth over her already dripping pool of moisture, was enough to make her whole body tremble with pleasure and bring forth a deep, primal growl from her lips, as she closed her eyes and let her head fall backwards. Then he buried two fingers inside of her and pulled her smooth folds apart as if he was testing if she is ready to continue. Stars she was so unbelievably ready. So much for going slowly, she couldn't wait any longer herself once again.

"Be..e..n...Maybe...let's not tease..."

Before she could even finish her sentence he suddenly pushed her forward, pulled her panty to the side and slid her down on his whole length, filling her up completely with one swift motion. Rey let out a muffled scream as she was surprised by this action, but also was instantly flushed with pleasure as she started circling her hips,  
while his member seemed to press against a certain spot inside, which made her hear colours and see sounds as the feeling was so overwhelming.  
He raked his trembling fingers deep into her flesh while she was riding him slowly, as he pushed his upper body up and embraced her from behind,  
to be able to tease her nipples too as he cupped one breast with his palm, while his other hand pressed against her neck as if he was choking her.

"Take whatever you want..."

He panted into her ear and she instantly took him at his words as she was pleasuring herself with his member by finding a rhythm that was constantly pressing in the right angle against that one perfect spot that drove her crazy. She felt him throbbing inside of her as he closed his mouth on her shoulder blade and sucked on the bare skin while a deep, vibrating growl left his lips. He was close already - she felt it. Probably because she was moving her hips around him in circles, practically milking him with that motion, but also because he had to hold back for hours since their heated session on the staircase in the tavern.  
Their bodies moulded perfectly into each other, while both were adjusting their tempo to a slower one, prolonging the point of no return as they were already on edge and wanted to keep it as long as they could because they still somehow loved the teasing until the very end, probably trying out who can hold back their orgasm longer.

Ben pulled his hands away from her breast as well her neck and placed his flat palms on her inner thighs, easing her legs apart even more which made the sensation of his member stronger as it pressed even deeper, although she thought there was not one inch left inside of her. She felt a deep sense of completion as she moaned out his name several times while she was diving deeper down into her own sea of pleasure, her body already shuddering rhythmically as she was close to fulfilment.  
This time he was the one who couldn't hold back any longer as she felt him digging his fingers into her flesh so strongly it hurt a bit, while he pulled her hips down hard against his and buried his head between her shoulder blades as he cried out in release a string of swear words against her skin.

Hot seed filled her lower abdomen and the feeling of it dripping out beneath her, as well him biting down on her shoulder brought her over the edge too, as she arched herself against him while a shattering climax rushed through her whole body, letting her vision fade to white for several seconds as she felt her entrance pulsing against his also throbbing length.  
Ben embraced her from behind with both arms and held her steady while she was riding even the last spasm of her muscles out, as her body trembled against his chest in pure pleasure while keening sounds left her lips as she threw back her head onto his shoulder.

Rey knew she will never get enough of this. Of him. Of their closeness, his warmth, his strong chest heaving against her with his shallow, excited breathing, his heart beating against her back and his fingers caressing her sensitive skin in the soft cosiness of their passionate aftermath.  
She never wanted this moment to end as this was pure perfection. Nothing else could make her feel so safe as being this tightly wrapped in Ben's arms and she pulled up his right hand to kiss the back of it, while a deeply satisfied sigh left her lips.

* * *

 **Sooo, they got to finish what they started on Coruscant before. I think they have such a deep connection, they would fuck around the whole day if they had time for it. Unfortunately, there's a war going on and everyone wants them dead. So they have to combine it with training, or exploring their bond together.**  
 **The huttese parts are actually really in huttese language, at least some of the words. There's a translation page I found, which I used :)**  
 **Can you guess what they talked about?  
And Leia, hoaxing Ben with a sour fruit when he was upset about Han failing to turn up once again was funny, but also sad and showed how he always had to keep quiet, while she was not taking his concerns seriously, but tried to be a good mother anyway.  
**


	45. Chapter 45: Veil of time

**Yes, I am still alive. As you might read in the first quarter of the last year I was in a hospital and had to go back a few times. Actually, I had the roughest months in my life yet and it's still not over. But it's getting better and I hope I can keep on writing here, but I can't promise anything right now, as I keep being ill again and again. (But it's nothing life-threatening - so don't worry :) )**

 **And: Omg I watched the trailer. I am SO hyped!**

Everyone at the Resistance knew time was running out to solve the riddle of finding a weak point in the Starkiller base II plans, Ben had sent Leia in his almost suicidal mission. Whenever the superweapon would be ready for action again, Hux will surely immediately make use of it to threaten other systems or in the worst case really use the weapon and kill billions of people with it once again as he did with the Hosnian system.  
So the main goal for the Resistance was to find the rabbit hole, through which they could crawl into the base and destroy the weapon from the inside.  
Which was the planet itself.  
But how to destroy a planet without owning a superweapon yourself, without having the loophole they used last time? This time surely wouldn't be so easy as it was with the first one.

Rey and Ben were once again occupied with lightsaber training since hours, Rey wasn't able to feel her grazed fingers anymore from gripping the lightsaber so hard, when he attacked her again and again, while she had to defend herself against the brute force which was a very determined Ben Solo. Ben really was serious when he said they are going to train - a lot. They trained and fought until both reached total exhaustion - until they even were too worn out to have sex afterwards, but just fell asleep in each other's arms each day, which meant a lot as they would usually have a go at each other after such heated sessions.  
Ben wanted her to be able to perfectly defend herself against everything and everyone, including himself. For some reason, he was still obsessed with the thought that he could be the reason she would die someday, even if she told him over and over again that it will not and could not happen and that their shared vision was just wrong.

But maybe it was a good thing he prepared her as hard as he did now because she was an unbelievably fast learner, she practically absorbed his knowledge about the force and fighting style through their shared bond and soon was able to catch him off guard at times and even win a few matches.  
He was fascinated by her progress and always pushed her to surpass her own limits. They were in the middle of a fight, several rebels formed the habit of watching them during their duels and even placed bets on them by now, when Rey slid across the grassy ground to kick Ben into his shin, which he avoided by stomping down onto her right arm instead, with which she held her lightsaber. Luckily she was fast, deactivated her saber and threw it via the force to her other hand, caught it and slashed down at him,  
but in the last second he parried her blow with his own saber and they had a battle of pure strength where he pressed her weapon-clutching hand down slowly to the ground as he was, of course, stronger and able to push her completely down.  
She ground her teeth and grunted while he looked down on her, wet hair falling into his face, enlighted by red sparks from his saber as he grinned a bit mischievously in triumph, knowing he would win this one.  
Some rebels yelled Rey's name, cheering for her to fight more against him, but suddenly there was a loud cracking noise and they heard Leia's voice over speakers, echoing through the whole base, while everyone went silent and their battle of strength took a halt:

"Listen fellow rebels! Finally, we had a breakthrough with the Starkiller base blueprints. We found a weak point and we also have a plan on how to utilize it.  
I am expecting all of you in our situation room in 10 minutes."

Rey and Ben stopped their fighting immediately and deactivated their lightsabers to walk back to the base with the other rebels as everyone was babbling excitedly about the plans. As Rey was limping a bit from the hard training and pure exhaustion, Ben pulled her up suddenly to kiss her brow and carry her bridal style to the hangar, while she giggled completely lovestruck and held herself close to him while they guessed jokingly with each other what the rebels might have found about the superweapon.

Ben really flourished since he was with Rey, became so much more open, diplomatic, smiled more, emphatic and was overall so much more at balance with himself and the force. But there always lingered a certain the darkness, bitterness, pain and radicalness behind everything he said, or did.  
Rey, on the other hand, became a mastermind in motivating and leading people, felt as if she finally wasn't the child who'd wait for her parents to come back anymore,  
but found her family within him and her friends and fellow rebels. She felt more adult, more ready to leave everything behind and learn and teach so many new things, contrary to the time on Jakku, when her goal was mainly to somehow stay alive every day.

Rey and Ben even started training the siblings in the ways of the force a bit, as Ben could teach Rey, Ereen and Xero the same things when it was about the usage of the force and the theory behind it. Soon Rey and Ben developed a close connection to both of them, as the siblings did too - Rey more than Ben, as she immediately felt responsible for both, while Ben was determined to teach all of them about the force in a non-biased way, contrary to his former masters Luke and Snoke, explaining to them why the teachings of the Sith as well the Jedi were wrong and how to use it in a balanced way without restrictions or rules, but in a more natural way which was better fitting to each individual. They didn't learn lightsaber forms yet, but how to use the force with their mind and how to connect to each other and to Rey's delight how to make things float.

When they both reached the situation room, most people were already seated, eagerly awaiting the explanation to what loophole the analysts found on Mustafar.  
The generals already waited for everyone to arrive and started the holographic presentation when everybody had found their places and seats.  
Leia and Poe stood in front and started to explain everything. Even though Leia was incredibly pissed on Poe after their last mission, where they made the star destroyers fall from the sky by detonating their electro-proton bombs, she nonetheless gave him a promotion, so he now too wore the title "general" and was now on the same level of authority as Leia was.

Poe showed the rebels several holographs of the blueprints, while he pointed to specific structures and places and explained:

"So we found out that the planet Mustafar itself is situated between two gas giants, which are in a tug-of-gravity as both are trying to claim it as their moon.  
Which is basically also the reason why the planet's surface is made out of lava and why there are such strong electrical storms all the time.  
The planet would have been ripped apart already if the Empire wouldn't have installed several gravity supports and stabilizers back in their days.  
The First Order is still constantly maintaining these systems to stabilize the whole surface of Mustafar, which conversely means it can also be destabilized, therefore destroying, or better ripping apart the planet by the gravity pull from both gas giants.

The main stabilizers are located inside a structure which was called "Fortress Vader" back in the Empire days, as it was used as Darth Vader's headquarters for years.  
If we are able to land a ship right there, destroy the stabilizers and hopefully flee fast enough, the planet and its superweapon will be ripped apart by gravity.  
Because of the tidal waves near the lava flows, it is nearly impossible to land on the surface, even more so in a short time, without being detected by the ground forces or cannons, or sinking into the burning ground."

Then Poe paused for a moment and his gaze fell to Rey and Ben, who sat beside each other, listening attentively, before he took a deep breath and continued:

"We talked about it for a long time and General Leia doesn't support that idea at all, but we all see there is not really another choice at that topic, but Rey and Ben, you are the only ones who'd successfully be able to land a ship undetected at exactly the required location. You jumped from lightspeed directly onto the surface of a moving ship by using the force and no other human being or alien here would be able to do such a stunt just in the slightest, as we do not have the force or the connection you both possess.  
So we want to ask you two, even if it's probably the most difficult assignment anyone from us has ever done, to take that one over, as it is our only hope at the moment before the base is repaired to a functional state again.  
Are you both willing to take the assignment, even though it's going to be nearly impossible and extremely dangerous?"

Rey's eyes widened and she looked from Poe, to Leia, to Ben and back to Poe thinking on how incredibly hard it's going to be to fulfil that task. As they barely made the landing last time on the Star Destroyers surface and it's going to be much harder landing on a moving, stormy surface made out of lava, where probably no lifeform would guide them to know when to jump out of lightspeed. Leia's face looked incredibly worried, more so over defeated, while she felt Ben's emotions toppling over inside him as if he was trying to lock something away, or fought against his own thoughts. Before she could say something, she heard Ben's voice next to her in such a serious deep tone,  
as goosebumps formed on her back, by the darkness in which he was suddenly enveloped:

"I will take the assignment, under the condition that Rey is not coming along."


End file.
